Lament of the Slave

Honestly, it could have been the dull ache that settled in my body, some kind of delirium, but right now Ronnu/Traiana truly looked to me like some kind of wounded goddess, someone who had descended from the heavens, my and Stella’s savior, a woman out of my reach - literally - wearing armor, damaged in battle, and pierced by several arrows. One broken arrow protruded from her chest, the other three from her back. The blood gushing from these wounds ran down her armor and dripped onto the ground.

Despite what I knew of the statue in Labyrinth Square, in spite of her crying, she still stood strong, seemingly unbroken and determined to face whatever was to come. Her breathing may have been heavy, like mine and Stella’s, but her gaze was even heavier. When her eyes, hidden behind the helmet, fell on both of us, I shuddered, my breath caught in my throat.

The rage at the whole world held in her gaze was terrifying.

Me, Stella, my whole pack was at her mercy.

“Oh, it’s you two.” Her anger and grief hadn’t disappeared, but with the realization of who was lying at her feet, it was no longer directed at us. Instead, her voice held a hint of relief - relief that someone had survived. 

“Here.” Two bottles of wine-colored potions appeared in her hand. “Take them. They are much better than the ones you were assigned.”

I believed her. The liquid in the bottles was of a more vibrant color than the ones I knew. Great, there was just one small problem. The way I felt, I wasn’t sure any potion in the world could help me. Whatever happened, whatever I did, it tore me apart. Not literally. My arms and legs were still in place, as were my head and tail. Other than my wings and a few liters of blood, I wasn’t missing anything. Yet I felt more torn than ever before. It was as if every cell in my body fought a battle with itself, with its essence, sapping me of every ounce of energy.

And that was another reason why I could not take the potion. I was literally incapable of it. While Stella struggled to reach the bottle, I lay on the floor like a piece of wood.

Strangely, not something that bothered me. It should have, but it didn’t. Pride, the satisfaction of having defended my pack, filled my still racing heart. The satisfaction of returning some of the suffering Stella had endured at the Beastman’s hands, and his death at Ronnu’s blade.

“I see it was you after all . . .” Ronnu spoke, realizing that I was the one behind the massive presence, and then she did something totally unexpected. She dropped to her knees, took off her helmet, put her hand under my head, uncorked the potion, and carefully placed the bottle to my lips. Once in my throat, some instincts kicked in, and against my better judgment that I was going to drown, I swallowed the liquid.

“You s-should feel better in a few moments, Grey.” Her soothing words didn’t quite match her expression. She was wracked with grief, crying in silence. As her hot tears fell on my cheeks, something inside me shifted. Not my beast(s). They were quiet, exhausted as I was. We were one, after all. What shifted deep inside me was my heart, the way I felt about Ronnu.

No, I didn’t swing that way and nothing has changed. 

Until now, she’d been a woman of legend to me, and though her character differed from what I’d imagined, she lived up to her name. She was powerful, determined, fearless, and loved by her knights. In her, they found inspiration and someone they could depend on. She was the commander who always saved the day in fairy tales and storybooks.

Only she wasn’t. I could see that now.

I could see what I’d forgotten. The statue up there in Labyrinth Square did not depict a fearless hero, nor did the feelings it stirred in the hearts of those who looked at it inspire courage. Ronnu - Traiana people of my/our time knew - was a woman devastated by her loss, screaming to the heavens in grief, but unheard.

And that was the woman kneeling over me now. Not a legend, not a heroine, not a high commander, but a woman stricken with grief - grief I was able to empathize with without the Labyrinth forcing it upon me. Gerran was dead, killed before my eyes, as were countless knights of the Seventh, starting with Pom Nilzibarge. I may have known them, some better than I could have ever imagined at the beginning of this journey, but these were her friends, the people she had fought alongside for months and years. The way I felt couldn’t compare to the grief every seeker knew.

After all, I hadn’t lost Stella.

The confrontation with the beastman pushed me to limits I could only dream of and wasn’t sure I’d ever reach again. But what happened to her was something so powerful that it carried across time and space, something that became an anchor for the Labyrinth, her cry for the fallen.

Fallen’s cry.

“D-do you feel better?”

A nod. Damn. Ronnu wasn’t joking; quite the opposite. The potion she gave me wasn’t just better, it was on a whole other level than the potions I was used to. Even better than my regeneration.

“I s-see. That’s good,” she breathed a sigh of relief at my astonished smile, the tears that fell on my cheeks turning into a waterfall. “And you, Palemoon?”

“I’ll live, ma’am. Th-Thank you for coming.”

Hearing that must have been the last straw. The waterfall turned into a flood that threatened to drown me. Ronnu burst into a loud cry, a cry seekers in Castiana and I were familiar with. What was new and caught me off guard was the way she held me tightly, but gently.

This was not something depicted on the statue in the Labyrinth Square.

‘Shit!’ I froze, horrified. ‘Did I change the fucking future?’

The thought of finding myself carved out of the black stone next to her in the middle of Castiana crossed my mind before I promptly shoved it away. This wasn’t the real past, only an echo of it. Just a nightmare outside of time and space, incapable of affecting the present. Runes and enchantments took care of that.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ The runes and enchantments that got me and Stella stuck here, the reason we were here on this battlefield.

Unable to break free of Ronnu’s grip - nor did I particularly want to - I looked around through my domain. There was nothing around the three of us but corpses, no misshaping. Well, nothing strange. In my experience, I wasn’t able to perceive those cracks in space through my domain. However, even my beast sense was silent. No strange feeling at the back of my neck.

A shiver ran through my body. ‘Were we wrong? The whole theory about the imprint of our passing through space and time, false? There was no way home?’

Ronnu held me tighter, my distress all too obvious to her. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful. Right now, I needed it. I needed that hug because I had just lost the only prospect of getting home.

“There is no reason to lose hope yet, little Guardian.” Traiana, our guide, the rune imprint of the one who held me in her arms, crying her heart out, spoke, scaring the shit out of me. Not because I had forgotten her, I had not, but because she rarely appeared in Ronnu’s presence. In this never-ending nightmare, this woman was the most vivid reminder of what she had lost this day and by becoming the patron of this labyrinth.

But all that faded when I realized what she was saying - when the healing neurons in my brain finally put two and two together.

‘What do you mean?’ The words almost slipped from my lips aloud. No big deal, given the impending end of the cycle - under normal circumstances. Now it would hurt my heart to confuse a crying Ronnu by talking to a ghost she couldn’t see.

Fortunately, as always, Traiana understood.

“This is not how this echo usually ends. I fought off the beastmen the one - you fought with - left me to clash with, only to find most of the Seventh fallen. He enjoyed my grief.”

That sounded familiar. That son of a bitch was really twisted.

‘Did you fight him?’

“Of course I stood up to him. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, little ones. It wasn’t an easy fight. I had to give everything I had to beat him - and it still took me a while to bring him down.

I understood. In other words. If it weren’t for me, she’d be fighting the bastard right now. We still had time. Exactly how much time, however, was the question. Well, as much a question as where exactly we should be; where exactly was the spot where Traiana had fallen to her knees and cried for her friends.

“The center of this nightmare,” Traiana answered my question as I frantically struggled to look around in Ronnu’s grip.

The center of the Echo, duh. A place we had been trying to get to from the very beginning, and she, as the guide/dreamer of this place, knew exactly where it was.

“Don’t worry, little ones. It’s not far. However, I would recommend you to move closer as soon as possible, so that you don’t miss the right moment. That is, if you wish to leave this echo in this cycle.”

A damn good question, one that should be easy to answer. ‘Yes! We wanted to get out of here!’ Yet I found myself hesitating. I would love to see Vienlin and Geran one last time, to say my goodbyes. To provoke the obnoxious Knight Commander in charge of the Cages one more time and have some fun at his expense. But most of all, my heart longed to talk to Rairok one last time, to say a proper goodbye to him.

“Korra?” Stella asked, still lying on the ground, breathing heavily, regenerating under the effects of the potion, gathering her strength. Her eyes were on me, though, and it was so easy to read them. 

This was the moment we had waited for cycles, 42 cycles to be exact, eight and a half months, 210 days. So damn long. There was no reason to hesitate. Yet . . .one more time.

“Just one more time. One last goodbye.”

Ronnu seemed too lost in her grief to pay attention to us.

“But we have already bid them our farewells. Please. I don’t want to go through this again.”

That hurt; it hurt a lot and made me feel guilty, even selfish. Staying here for another cycle just to say goodbye meant going through it all again. All the pain and suffering, even my body shuddered at the thought. Yet I couldn’t help thinking that some of those battles, especially the last one, could have been avoided. Honestly, that one was all my fault. If I hadn’t run to Geran, we probably wouldn’t have gotten the beastman’s attention. So . . . yeah, I was selfish.

And stupid.

There was no guarantee that we would be able to avoid the beastman nor any of the other struggles in the next cycle, that we would not have to go through the same ordeal. For all I knew, we could suffer even more next time. I couldn’t do that to her.

“Don’t you want to go back, Korra, to the others? Must I remind you of the nights when you were the one who cried for Idleaf?”

My weak moments. Not something I was ashamed of, though. It pained me to leave the kid alone for so long. I was her guardian; I swore I’d never let her fall into slumber. The risk of that happening in my absence terrified me.

Well played, Stella. 

With the thought of Idleaf, the last vestige of the urge to stay here one more cycle vanished.

“We have a place to be!”

There was only one small issue. Ronnu. She still held me tightly in her arms, crying her heart out.

Wiggling didn’t help - yeah, I’ve got some strength back. The potion worked wonders. If I had to guess, it was a last-ditch item for her to have in case of need. It spoke volumes about how hard she tried to save us, especially when she didn’t take one herself to heal her wounds. All the more reason it tore at my heart to tell her we had to leave.

“Um,” I cleared my throat. Nothing, she kept crying. “Ma’am? Commander? High Commander?! High Commander Ronnu!”

Nothing, she was lost in her grief, in her lament.

“Traiana!” My last attempt - before resorting to violence - seemed to have worked. Leaving aside the hiccups as she choked back her cry, she blinked in confusion and looked around the battlefield before her gaze fell on me. Clarity returned to her eyes. 

“Grey?”

“Traiana? I mean, High Commander? Ma’am?”

She smiled, actually chuckled, and wiped away her tears. “Traiana is fine.”

“Are you all right, ma’am?” Stella asked, strong enough to sit up now.

“I said Traiana is fine, Palemoon. B-besides, I should be worried about you.” Her appreciative and hurt voice betrayed the hard look she was trying to put on. Ronnu herself was aware of it, though. She knew how this battle had broken her. 

“Sorry for showing you . . .”

“That’s all right, ma’am - I mean, Traiana,” Stella corrected herself, calling her that just didn’t sit well with her. And it was no different for me. To us she was Ronnu, our High Commander - kind of strange, and even funny, considering she now bore a very close resemblance to the Traiana we knew from Labyrinth Square.

“No, it’s not all right,” Ronnu retorted, wiping away the tears that refused to stop flowing. “This is not the time or place to mourn. We must - we must reorganize. Gather the survivors and form a line.”

As she said that, her tears started to flow harder again. “What am I kidding myself? Seventh is no longer . . .”

“What are you saying, ma’am? We’re here, and earlier we saw Vienlin retreat to the rear lines, to the healers.”

Ronnu smiled and swallowed her sobs. “I know, I ordered her to. What I meant was that Seven is no longer able to serve - but we can only hope that she made it in time.”

“In time, ma’am?” Concern for Vienlin’s fate gripped my heart at the somber tone of her voice.

“To our right, the beasts have broken through our lines.” That was all she said, but it wasn’t hard to figure out the rest. There was a chance that she hadn’t made it to the healers. Moreover, it explained the lack of support and the absence of stretcher-bearers for the wounded. The archers and mages had to shift their focus.

“Little ones, I hate to rush you, but if you want to get out of my nightmare, you shouldn’t linger any longer.”

Traiana’s warning was like a slap in the face, a kick in the ass that both of us needed.

“Um . . .” I cleared my throat, not quite sure what to say. “Could you please let me go, ma’am - Traiana?”

“We need to move. We have a place to be,” Stella added.

To our surprise, Ronnu nodded. “We have to retreat; I have to signal the rest of the Seventh to fall back and get you to the healers.”

“No, no, no, I mean, yes, retreat, yes, but Stella and I - I know this is going to sound strange, but we have a place here on the battlefield where we need to be.”

“I admire your courage, but there is a difference between courage and stupidity. Look where it got me, how my men ended up. I’m taking you to the healers. Whether you like it or not.” Her tone, though still clouded with grief, spoke clearly. No negotiating on that. She was determined to save what she could of the Seventh. Doubling her newfound strength, she closed her eyes and her presence brushed against me. No oppressive force crushing my body, just a fleeting touch letting me know she was there. Ronnu searched the battlefield for the surviving remnants of the Seventh.

“Little ones, the time is approaching.”

‘Shit!’ My mind raced with the possibilities of what we could do, and there wasn’t much - more like nothing. The potion might have worked wonders, and I was confident in my ability to get back on my feet, but going up against Ronnu was as foolish as ever. As long as she had her mind set, we were screwed.

“Please, we have to get to this one place. It’s important to us,” Stella tried. If anything, her plea brought the High Commander’s attention back to us.

“What place . . . you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let you throw your lives away. You are no longer fit to fight.”

“Try using my full name; hurry, little ones.”

“Traiana Harvine Jheidre Ronnu!” The firmness and urgency of my voice surprised not only her, but me as well. 

“How do you . . . ?”

“Our time is running out,” there was no time to beat around the bush. “We have to get there.”

“We won’t fight or hurt anyone. Just . . . please trust us, ma’am. We have to go, now!”

Ronnu bit her lower lip, closed her eyes for a moment, wiped away her tears, and looked at both of us before nodding. “All right.”

“Really? Y-you’re letting us go?” Well, good for us, but it was hard to believe that she was so easily convinced.

“I will, but I’m coming with you.”

I couldn’t help but grin. Of course, she wasn’t going to let us leave just like that.

“What about the others? What about the retreat?”

“I’ve already ordered it. The Knight Commanders will take care of the rest. I’ll take care of you.”

“What are you waiting for? Go on then, little ones!”

Stella was the first to her feet. Seeing our urgency, Ronnu quickly followed and helped me with mine. Admittedly, I had overestimated the effects of the potion, and walking alone was still beyond my strength.

“What do you expect to find there?” Ronnu asked, supporting me as we made our way to the center of Traiana’s nightmare. 

“Our way home?”

“Your way home? Some kind of teleportation platform, Palemoon?”

“Though painful or hard to believe, the truth is always the best way,” Traiana spoke before either of us had a chance to open our mouths. And, as always, she was right. Lies, no matter how well-intentioned, always hurt in the end. It wasn’t a way to gain trust, nor was it one I wanted to end this involuntary journey into the past with.

“We don’t belong here. This is not our time, nor our battle.”

“A twisted space swept us here, and that’s what we’re looking for over there,” Stella pointed ahead of us, to a place as littered with the corpses of beasts and knights as any around us.

To our shock, Ronnu laughed.

“It’s true, ma’am.”

“Sorry, I didn’t say it wasn’t, Palemoon. In fact, that explains a lot.”

“It does?”

She wiped away her tears, now those of sorrow mixed with those of joy. “I’ve had a strange feeling about the two of you ever since you were dumped on me by Maignes. So you came from the future.”

“How . . . ?” Her bluntness under the circumstances left me speechless.

“We could be from the past,” Stella suggested, no less thrown off by the way Ronnu took the whole thing.

“The past cannot interfere with the present,” Ronnu and Traiana said in unison, their tones strangely identical for once. “That happening would destroy the present. Or so I’ve been told,” Ronnu finished herself, smiling. “Tell me, how far? How far from the future are you? Or better yet, have we succeeded?”

Stella and I looked at each other and smiled. 

“Aren’t we both proof of that?”

“You have succeeded, ma’am. The humans survived.”

Ronnu didn’t cry out loud, but as relief spread across her face, more tears rolled down her eyes. It wasn’t difficult to read her emotions. The suffering, the sacrifice of everyone here on the battlefield, hadn’t been in vain. “Thank you,” she whispered, saying nothing more.

“We’re here,” Traiana announced as we entered a place not unlike any other, simply a battlefield. “This should be the place.”

“Should? I thought you knew exactly where the center was?” Stella asked, no longer caring that to Ronnu she seemed to be having a conversation with nothing but air. The woman in question, holding me up, paused at her antic, but oddly enough, let it go.

“Yes, it should,” Traiana nodded, unperturbed and looked around. “I’m going by the map you showed me, little one. And that was far from accurate or finished. Besides, according to what you told me, you ended up here because you didn’t reach the center of the rune ‘maze’."

All undeniably true, and both Stella and I knew it. But the time ticked by without anything happening.

“What if - we’re in the wrong place, Korra?”

The uncomfortable feeling that we’d missed something, that we’d screwed up, gripped my heart. “Perhaps . . .” I stopped short as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That strange feeling I last had a month ago, up there on the labyrinth floor, was impossible to forget, a misshaping in the space. It was there, just to our right.

“By all the tits. You weren’t kidding,” Ronnu blurted out, her eyes fixed on the spot, obviously sensing the twisted space herself.

“No, we weren’t,” I whispered, my legs almost buckling under the sheer relief that washed over my body. We made it.

“Do not hesitate, little ones.”

“Korra,” her voice trembling, her legs shaking, Stella offered her arm and shoulder for support. Being so close, she too felt that the way back to our friends was only a few steps away. Despite my earlier doubts, I now leaned against her without the slightest hesitation. I wanted to go back, to my friends, to Idleaf, away from this endlessly repeating echo of the past. Surely Rairok would have scolded me if I had stayed here for just one last farewell. 

And yet . . .

“I guess this is it,” I said as Stella, and I turned to look at the two of them one last time, the Traiana of the past and the one trapped in her nightmare. Actually, they didn’t look so different now, both crying.

“Your courage is undeniable - I wouldn’t go near that thing, but . . . you’ve earned your honor, Eichenralkes.” I couldn’t help but grin at the mocking tone with which she said it. As Vienlin said, they all knew.

“Parting with someone is not my strong suit, but I guess you’ve already figured that out.” 

“The reason for the whole Labyrinth thing, huh?” Stella remarked, and Traiana nodded.

“Therefore, let me say, if your resolve holds, I sincerely believe and hope that we will meet again. Until then, all the best to you both, little ones. Now go.”

Well, the goodbyes really sucked.

Now tears ran down my face, and Stella swallowed a sob or two as well. A nod was all we could give, all that needed to be said. One last look and we turned on our heels, me leaning on Stella’s shoulder, holding her hand. My heart racing, my body aching, I squeezed her hand tighter, and we took a step toward the misshaping, toward our future that was denied us here.

Thinking of Rairok, Vienlin and Geran, everyone I’ve met here, as well as Idleaf, my friends I’ve made on Eleaden, waiting for me, the misshaping swallowed me and Stella whole.