Lament of the Slave

The first death - well, it was - much worse than Stella Palemoon had expected. Not so much the pain. After all, the demise under the octopus beast’s heat ray was swift. What took her breath away and messed with her head was the sheer impact of it.

She died.

The beginning of a new cycle was nothing new to Stella, but when she woke up in this one, her mind was foggier than ever. She had trouble putting together a coherent thought and getting her brain working again. As it was, her brain seemed to have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she was still breathing, her heart was still beating, and overall - that she was still alive.

“H-how can you be so - so relaxed about it?” Stella stammered as soon as she could. Because of her death, her recovery took a little longer. Simply, concentrating on the healing auras was out of the question for a while. Korra proved to be a really good friend in that moment and didn’t let her down, pouring the healing potions right down her throat and forcing her to swallow when she was unable to.

“You forget that I have danced with death so many times,” Korra, sitting next to her, grinned at her. The view from the cliff’s edge was beautiful, if you ignored the gloomy sky.

Stella rubbed her temples; her head was still pounding. “I h-haven’t forgotten. It’s just - is it something you can get used to?”

“Obviously.”

“Seriously?”

“Um-hmm, I’d say it’s harder to realize that you’re not immortal, and the consequences of your own regeneration. Didn’t I tell you how terrified I was when that Crystal Rat trapped me in that mud? Imagine being stuck there forever, suffocating and . . .”

“All right! Th-That’s enough! I don’t think I need to hear more.”

“Sorry.”

For a while, they just sat there in silence, looking at the landscape beneath their feet.

“Was y-your first time this bad for you, too?” Curiosity wouldn’t let her. Stella just needed to know how she compared to someone else, if there wasn’t something wrong with her. Of course, the cycle thing, the time difference they spent in - well, nowhere, messing with her head - crossed her mind. For the gal next to her, it just didn’t seem to be a problem, though.

Korra sighed, her expression said it all. Stella asked something that was quite painful for her friend. “It was bad, if only because I hated being alive.”

“Da-Damn. I didn’t mean to  . . .”

“It’s okay,” Korra lied all too obvious. “I wouldn’t talk about it if I didn’t want to.”

Stella understood. Her friend was trying to come to terms with her inner demons. Something that could definitely help her deal with Eleaden’s whispers and something she should do herself. She might not have heard the sweet lure of this world directly on the battlefield, not yet, but the pressure on her mind was hard to ignore. In fact, when the octopus tried to fry her brain, it was more than just heat.

At that moment, Eleaden’s invisible hand was pressing down so hard on her defenses that she felt her brain would melt under the invisible grip before the octopus even had a chance to do so.

“Did you p-pick on any misshapen space? I mean, out there on - on the battlefield?” Stella asked after a few moments of Traiana trying to change the subject and distract her mind. The woman stood with her hands clasped behind her back, two steps away from them. Too majestic, giving the impression that she had been like that for centuries - which might have been true, watching this echo unfold over and over again.

“You’re smart, little one. I don’t think I need to tell you that I did not.”

“I thought so. I just wanted to be sure.”

“Understandable. I did search nevertheless.”

“And?” Korra asked, even though she de facto already heard the answer.

“And I still believe that the key to finding your way back lies in the two of you being in the right place at the right time.”

“The damn time-space memory imprint, right?”

“Yes, little Guardian.”

“Then isn’t there a way to avoid the fight and wait somewhere until it’s over? You know, for the right moment.”

The question surprised Stella. In her experience, Korra always faced everything head-on. Especially the beasts. Her pride was to blame. But now she considered putting all that aside. That wasn’t like her.

Still, it was a damn good question.

“Wouldn’t that put too much strain on your mind? The thought of abandoning the others, giving up?” asked Traiana instead of answering. “Your own failure can be a very dangerous thing. It has led to the downfall of many.”

Certainly, Stella had grown fond of some of the people here, and it would not be easy for her to betray them in one of the most difficult moments of their lives. However, that was just an echo of the past. “It won’t matter in the next cycle anyway - or when we find our way back.”

Traiana gave her a smile. “I’m not telling you this to stop you. Just so you know the consequences. Because even though, as you pointed out, it won’t matter in the end, you two will be the only ones to remember your cowardice and betrayal.”

Cowardice and betrayal. She didn’t have to have beast pride for it not to sit well with her. That was not Captain Rayden’s virtue, nor what she had been taught.

Still, the end justifies the means.

“If we decided to do it, theoretically, would there be a way to avoid the fight?” It was Korra who asked, despite Traiana’s warning, still considering the dishonest way. It actually worried Stella.

“I want to know the answer to that too, but - is something wrong, Korra?”

Her friend didn’t answer right away. “We were hours away from the end of the cycle, Stella. Only minutes into the battle and we died. Don’t get me wrong. I’m willing to die as many times as it takes. But do you really think we can last for hours out there on the battlefield?”

Truth be told, even Stella had a hard time seeing that as feasible.

That was when Traiana crouched down beside them and put her hands on their shoulders. “I think the heat of battle has gotten under your skin. Don’t be ashamed of it. I remember shaking like a leaf in the wind after my first battle and swearing I would never go through that again.”

She - Traiana, Ronnu, shaking? That was hard for Stella to imagine.

“It will get better with time, and time is what I recommend you give it. Do not try to participate in the battle this cycle, or better yet, do not go to the encampment at all. Take a break; let yourself breathe. You’ve been under duress long enough, pushing yourself, pushing your limit, without pause. Then, when you feel better, more confident, we’ll talk about it again. What do you say, little ones?”

Stella gritted her teeth. They were so close, as Korra said, possibly hours away from getting out of here. And yet Traiana told them to wait, to take a break, to do nothing. Some harsh words for the woman were already on the tip of her tongue, but she held them back - thankfully.

The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like something they both, she and Korra, desperately needed. All she had to do was realize how she felt, sitting there on the edge of the cliffs, looking out at the sun-deprived landscape.

“Do you want to stay here or rest in the cave?” Korra asked, catching her off guard. Her heart - just like her friend’s - had already made a decision; now it was time for her to come to terms with it.

“We could stay here,” Stella said at last, thinking about it all. It was time to put everything aside for a while and do something entirely different.

“It’s going to rain tonight,” Korra pointed out, though her tail wagging happily behind her spoke volumes. The idea of staying here appealed to her.

“I don’t mind if you don’t. You know, fur and all.”

“It’s annoying, but . . .” Yes, they’d been here for months in the constant rain -  a few days in the open was a trifle then.

“It could get cold.”

“Afraid your nipples will get hard?” Stella remarked, chuckling as her friend’s cheeks flushed. For how often she showed her bare ass while shifting, Korra was easily embarrassed.

“Don’t expect me to let you snuggle up to me when - well, even when yours is freezing.” Her friend growled back at Stella, baring her teeth.

Stella had to admit that snuggling up to her in her beast form was quite nice. Especially to nuzzle her tail - when it was dry and devoid of poison.

After they laughed together, a silence fell between them. Not an awkward silence, but a pleasant hush they both enjoyed.

“So we really are doing this? We are staying here?” Stella did make up her mind; she just wanted to make sure that she and Korra were in the same boat.

“Yes, definitely.” There was no doubt in her friend’s voice. “I used to love camping.”

 

***

 

What they were doing was far from the camping Korra had described. No fire, no tent, no sleeping bags, no guitar. It was just them - and Traiana - and nature.

Nevertheless, it was wonderful, something their souls sorely longed for.

And so four days flew by.

“I should mention something, little ones,” Traiana spoke while they enjoyed doing nothing as they had the last few days. The caution and concern in her voice made Stella sit up.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s this place.”

“I thought you said it was safe,” Korra said, alarmed as she was.

“And it is. Only tomorrow morning a soul lost to this past will pass through here.”

Stella’s mind snapped into action. “A lost soul? Wait, you mean one from our time? Lost in the Labyrinth?”

“Yes, little one.”

“My tits!” The profanity she replaced the “Traiana’s tits” with slipped out of her mouth with the same ease as the old one. “Korra, how could we forget the other people here?” They were once citizens of Sahal, citizens of Castiana, and still were. As a member of the City Guards, it was her duty to protect them.

Korra scratched the back of her head, obviously feeling guilty about this as well. “There’s not much we can do for them anyway, is there?”

Traiana shook her head, her hair flowing with the movement. The way she managed to stay dry despite the downpour was a perk of the guide that Stella had envied since the first cycle. “I still believe, I have seen nothing to suggest otherwise. As sad as it is, only you will be able to pass through the misshapen space that opens up for you, little ones. Not to mention the possibility of getting someone else in there.”

Oh, the battlefield, Stella realized. It took months just for the two of them to get there. Still . . . the thought of leaving them behind weighed heavily on her mind. The ease they’d enjoyed until now was gone.

“How many are actually trapped here?” If she remembered correctly, there were dozens of Soul Dice in the City Hall. The Soul Dice of those lost still with lights on - a sign that the person in question was very much alive.

“Some things are better not to burden your mind with.”

Not the answer she wanted to hear. Then again, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the exact number either.

“And you know where they are?” Korra asked and Stella pricked up her ears.

“Of course I know,” Traiana nodded, not offended, but pausing to see if they really wanted to know. “Some, I would say the lucky ones, wander these woods like the one I mentioned. The less fortunate, who find themselves in encampment after passing through here, usually end up locked up in prison tents.”

Once again, as Traiana had told them in the past, Stella was reminded of how lucky she was - they were. Appearing in the middle of the army encampment, she wasn’t sure if they wouldn’t just give her one last stab out of mercy. Again and again. That would be a nightmare. The irony of Traiana feeling so about this place was not lost on her.

“And then there are those who found themselves on the beast side,” Korra finished instead of Traiana, her ears lowered. A shiver ran through Stella’s body at the thought.

“Yes. They tend to wither the fastest.”

“Wither? Oh, you mean they lose their minds?”

“It’s more than that, little one. The longer they are here, the more they are inevitably consumed by the past; the same with you. Your bodies are being eroded by this time and space. Then it is only their minds that keep them in the present. Once they lose that connection, there’s no going back.”

It made Stella wonder how far along she and Korra were, how much a part of this echo of the past they had already become. There was no doubt in her mind that without her friend, she would have lost it long ago.

“So they wander this place forever,” Korra voiced the horrible thought.

To their surprise, Traiana shook her head. “Not forever. This is an echo of the past, and none of you belong here. One day you will simply cease to appear, and the cycles will continue without you in them.”

“Wait, I thought you said . . . what will actually happen to them - to us?”

“I really don’t know, little one. As I’ve told you many times, I’m not a time or space magi. But if I had to say, the time and space of this place will tear you apart.”

Stella swallowed dryly. Traiana did tell them, mentioning that those who tried to go beyond the edge of the Echo ended up that way, and quickly at that, most likely their decay hastened by their attempts. Only . . . “I really thought most of them would end up wandering this place forever.”

“The oldest has been wandering my nightmare for over a century. But you would look for sanity in him in vain. It’s just some old memory that his subconscious clings to and keeps him here.”

“And the guy who comes here?” Korra asked, tail pressed to her chest, wings close to her body.

“Over eight years.”

 

***

 

The sun was just peeking over the horizon behind dark clouds when Stella noticed Korra’s ears twitching. She heard something. It wasn’t long before she, too, saw a figure among the trees in the hills above her cliff. In her mind, for whatever reason, she created a picture of an old man, but who walked towards them was a young man, no older than she was.

His eyes, however, were haggard and distant despite his youthful appearance.

“Good morning, sir?” She said softly when he was only a few steps away, oblivious to their presence.

The man froze, his eyes darting to her. “Elaine? No, no - you’re not her - my Elaine was as beautiful as a rose shimmering in the dew.”

The way Korra, hiding behind her, stifled a chuckle didn’t escape Stella. But just the reminder that she was behind her, just so she wouldn’t frighten the man with her appearance, brought a smile to her face.

“No, sir. My name is Stella, and this is . . .”

“Have you seen my Elaine? She’s waiting for me.”

“I’m sorry, but I haven’t.”

“Maybe your friend . . .” The young man trailed off as he took a good look at Korra, frozen with fear, only to smile a breath later. “Ah, you’re not like them. You’re a Terran.”

“Y-yes, yes, my name is Korra, and yours . . . ?”

“Have you seen my Elaine? I promised her I’d come back, but I can’t find my way. These woods . . . we were expecting a baby.”

Stella shuddered. Somewhere in Castiana was a young woman with a newborn, alone. Actually, not a newborn, but an eight-year-old who had grown up without a father.

“Sir, your name,” Stella tried again.

His face twisted in anger, and he grabbed her by the shoulders. “Don’t lie to me! You saw my Elaine, didn’t you?”

Up close like this, Stella could finally see the emptiness in the man’s eyes. It was - terrifying. There was nothing in them. Clinging to a memory, Triana’s words came to her.

“I’m sorry, sir. We’re as lost as you are,” she lied. As much as it tore at her heart, she could see that this man was beyond her ability to help.

“But . . . but you know where my Elaine is. You’re from Castiana.”

“We are,” Korra stammered, and that was as far as she got before the young man lunged at her.

“So you know where it is! Which way do I go?”

“That way,” Stella pointed in the direction the man had gone. She expected a judgmental look from Korra, a reproach; instead, she found understanding in her friend’s eyes.

“We have to get out of here, Stella, before we end up like him.”

No doubt about it.

“Yes, we do. I guess we have a battle to fight.”