Lament of the Slave

“It is an honor to meet thee, Traiana Harvine Jheidre Ronnu.”

“What are you doing, Rairok?” I blurted out as he lowered his head, my eyes darting between him and Traiana, seated quietly on one of the crates in his lair.

“You can see her?” Stella blurted out what was on the tip of my tongue.

“No!” Hearing my thoughts voiced aloud, I shook my head. “That should be impossible, right?”

“Indeed, it should,” Traiana spoke up, her eyes on the Witty Deer, her curiosity piqued. “Whether it be humans, beasts, or the memory of Eleaden itself, no one who is part of this echo should see me. In thousands of years, no one has. But one should be open to all possibilities, little ones. Even a drop can send ripples through otherwise stagnant waters.” 

With her eyes fixed on Rairok, she stood and walked over to him. “If you can truly see and hear me, it is an absolute pleasure to speak with you, old friend.”

To our collective surprise, Rairok nodded back. He heard her. “The pleasure is mine.”

“Traia - my tits!”

“Holy fuck! How?”

Despite Stella’s and my outbursts, Rairok looked at Traiana first. “May I?” 

The ancient woman, an echo of one who lived millennia ago, stood there beaming with excitement - and shock. “Please do. I’d like to hear about it, too.”

With her permission, Rairok gave me an apologetic look. “I must apologize, Korra’leigh Grey. Unbeknownst to thee, my past selves have left clues for me in thy memories.”

A shiver ran down my spine. The hell?! “The c-connection? Y-You messed with my mind?!”

“Nothing of the sort. I assure thee, Korra’leigh Grey. My kin have nothing to do with mind mages. The connection thou hast experienced is very intimate and sacred to us.”

“Then how?” The thought of him leaving something in my mind without me noticing made my mouth taste sour. It was disgusting.

“My eyes.”

“The what?”

“I think thou knowest, Korra’leigh Grey.”

Did I? No - although - maybe - but - was that even possible? “Did you leave the clues in your eyes? The ones only I was able to see - even if unknowingly.”

“Indeed. Not in the first few cycles since we met, but the more encounters that happened between us, the more my former selfs thought - one thought led to another, one failed attempt to the next. Records of it left in my eyes for thee to seest and for me to read.”

“Th-That’s . . .” I stammered as relief washed over me. No mind magic. Just details in my memories that I wasn’t aware of. Like, like, for instance, I couldn’t quite remember how the grass felt on my paws and between my toes anymore. “I apologize for doubting you.”

“Thou hast every right to, Korra’leigh Grey.”

True, yet it didn’t feel right. I should have had more faith in him.

“Shouldn’t we give them a moment?” Stella leaned towards me, whispering.

Of course, they had heard her. Little had escaped Traiana in this place, and Rairok was a beast. No matter how small his ears were, he - wait! His hearing. I understood that he could see Traiana, as unbelievable as that was. But the fact that he could hear her - it just didn’t make sense.

“Korra!” Stella elbowed me in the ribs.

A glance at Traiana and my thoughts were forgotten - for the moment. The ancient woman still carried herself with the same lofty air as always, but her look was completely different. Not so distant and detached. There was longing, sadness, and pain in her eyes.

“I doest not remember thee ever calling me thy friend,” Rairok spoke up, curious, not teasing, while Stella and I walked away.

“I was young and foolish. Much has changed since then.”

She wasn’t that young in human terms. Ronnu was in her forties, looking more youthful because of her power. From what little we knew of her, she had a family somewhere in the human lands that she protected. Rairok must have known this as well. Yet he chose not to mention any of it. Those were the things that would only bring pain. 

Instead, he chuckled and gave us a look. “Indeed, the young are foolish. But so are the hopes we place in our future.”

 

***

 

“So when we’re gone . . . ?” the question stuck in my throat. Rairok and Traiana talked for hours, and Stella and I would have gladly let them talk all night or longer. But according to them, that was all they needed for now.

“I will not be able to remember. I will continue to be the mere echo of myself that I am,” Rairok spoke, despite the acceptance of what he was, a bit of sadness in his voice.

“Is there nothing that can be done? Traiana?” Stella sought the answer from the patron of this labyrinth.

The ancient woman smiled sorrowfully. “I am afraid not.”

“But you are the guide, the jailer, the dreamer of this nightmare. Is there really nothing you can do to make Rairok remember?”

“You forget, little one, that I am also the jailed one. I am bound to this place by runes, just as this place is bound to me. I have no power beyond what the runes allow.”

It was just too sad. We were two nights away from getting home, from this echo, from this nightmare, meaning that this cycle was most likely their only chance to talk.

“B-but there must be . . . ?”

“Unless you intend to stay longer, I’m afraid not, little Guardian.”

Tears welled up in my eyes.

“So you’re saying if we stay longer?” Stella picked up on a small detail about what Traiana said.

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Rairok?”

“No, Stella Palemoon. That would require ye to stay here for cycles equal to years. And I canst not ask ye to makest that kind of sacrifice when I’m not even sure I would be able to dost it.”

“What are you talking about, Rairok?”

“There is much that is beyond thy reach with thy current strength, Korra’leigh Grey, and likewise beyond mine. Among my kin, memories are shared of those whose sight could pierce even the veil of time. The elders of my kin were able to meet and even speak with our ancestors.”

“No longer?”

“Talk?”

“I lived in a small herd. Korra’leigh Grey knowest. No one there was old enough to have their eyes brimming with such insight. And yes, talk. Dost not find it so strange. Our senses are not as fragmented as ye thinkest and may have more than one use.”

“You just have to open your mind, little ones.”

“Indeed. Many beasts and animals navigate and communicate by smell. Others use sound. Humans on Earth have even learned to read by touch.”

“Is that true?” Stella looked at me in surprise, hurt that I hadn’t told her.

“Yes.”

“Can you do it too?”

I almost chuckled. “No. That was something blind people learned - mostly. It required special script.” What Rairok said got me pondering, though. “Mute people learned to communicate with their hands or read lips.”

“The possibilities art endless,” Rairok added, pleased that I had gotten my mind on the right track. “My sight simply allows me to dost more than just see what others cannot.”

“You say that one day I’ll be able to talk to my ancestors. I mean, I already rely on their instincts, so . . .”

The Witty Deer made that strange eye roll of his. “The way thou art, maybe sooner than my kin. However, that is something that will remain hidden from my sight, I’m afraid.” In other words, it remains to be seen in a future that he - most likely - won’t be a part of.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the lair.

“I wish there was something we could do,” Stella kicked the stone on the floor in frustration, each bounce off the metal bars of the cages tugging at my ears.

“Don’t be sad, little ones. I will cherish this occasion you have given me for years to come.”

“Didn’t you say it was more torture than anything else?” As I recall, she spoke of those moments of being a spark in the darkness and a false hope that brought her nothing but torment.

“It is. Another challenge for me to overcome, just as your departure will. Yet, should you find your way out in this cycle, I won’t stop you and will be happy for you.”

Stella squeezed my shoulder. Our departure. The thought of it got under her skin as much as it did under mine. The doubt. The hope. Ronnu said the best way to avoid disappointment was not to have high expectations. I’d heard it from her so many times, yet I couldn’t help but hope.

The present Eleaden, separated from this place by thousands of years, may not have been the place my heart longed for most, but it was a place where people I knew and cared for were - where I had friends. What tore at my heart, however, was the thought of those I would have to leave here behind. Rairok and Traiana, be it the ancient or the fearless High Commander, I came to know. My mentors, Geran and Vienlin. Or others I met here. Stouch grew close to my heart, and in a way, so did the beast caretakers.

I was getting ahead of myself, though. 

We haven’t even seen the battlefield yet.

 

***

 

The eve of the fourth day inevitably came, as it had so many times before, and with it, the beginning of the end. As the sun, hidden behind dark clouds, sank below the horizon, plunging the landscape into darkness, the sound of the alarm horns rang through the encampment of Eleaden’s 3rd Army - the sound so eerie and piercing that it made me jump. No matter how many times I’d heard it, no matter how prepared I was for it, I couldn’t help it. It was a sound announcing that many would die in the coming hours.

Let’s face it, that could very well include both of us, Stella and me.

After all, the chances of getting where we needed to go on the first try were slim. We didn’t know what we were getting into, what was waiting for us out there, not really. This was as far as we ever got. Only the unknown lay before us.

The battlefield.

As I was once told, words could never describe the horror of real battles. I never really thought about it until now.

Well, we said our farewells to Rairok beforehand, just in case luck smiled on us. Sadly, there was really nothing that could be done to help him remember. According to Traiana - standing unperturbed by the alarm at our side - a blessing in itself.

Hard to argue with that. I had been here for just a few months, and without Stella, I’d probably have gone crazy long ago.

“Line up!” High Commander Ronnu shouted to the men and women who, at the sound of the horns, quickly gathered in the clearing between the tents, the two of us among them. “Check your armor, your weapons, and make sure you have your supplies! We’re moving in haste to the northern teleportation platform!”

Standing where I was and hearing Ronnu say that was quite different from watching the Knights of the 7th Rosicrucian Order march into battle while we stayed behind. Gave me chills, actually.

“Hey, kid, do what she says,” Geran nudged me. Stouch had assigned me to his unit, along with Stella. I guess he thought it would be best if we were with someone we knew and together. After all, we did a damn good job of cooperating in our fight against Ronnu.

To keep Gerran off my tail, I checked the supplies and armor I got - the two daggers at my waist, too. Everything was in order. In fact, it kind of calmed me down, knowing I wasn’t about to go into battle naked.

“Ma’am, this looks serious. Shouldn’t I come with you?” I heard Knight Commander Stouch ask Ronnu, as so many times before, and as always, she ordered him to stay behind, taking only the other eleven Knight Commanders into battle with her. No longer were we rookies under his command left behind to hold the fort. Now we were under the command of a guy named Pom Nilzibarge. A heavy knight, according to Geran, capable of withstanding any blow from Ronnu.

“Seventh, follow me!” Ronnu roared and took off, her knights hot on her heels, me among them. To think I was prepared for this was so naïve. Cold sweat, goosebumps, chills, stomach in knots. We weren’t even halfway to the teleportation platform, and I was already struck by it all. The realization that I was marching off to war weighed heavily on me.

“Rosicrucian 7th,” Ronnu reported as we made our way to the platform. It wasn’t as big as the one I knew from the Labyrinth Square in Castiana. But no less impressive.

“Two orders and then it’s your turn,” the mage in charge of the platform replied, shouting more orders at his subordinates.

Frankly, it all seemed like a big mess. People were shouting at each other, running this way and that, almost on the verge of panic. Somehow, though, it worked. And so, as more Knight Orders marched up to the platform, it was our turn.

“All right. Rosicrucian 7th, it’s our turn. Move it!” Ronnu roared in a voice that swept over the Knights with a power, composure, and confidence that was impossible to ignore. It wasn’t the aura I knew from Rayden. The Captain’s class had to be better suited for command - after all, she was once a general in the Sahal army. But the High Commander’s voice had something to it, too.

Her confidence didn’t get rid of my jitters. I still stood there, my heart pounding, a small voice inside me urging me to turn and run. Her voice, however, kept me marching forward even as my instincts screamed at me to get the hell out of there.

A familiar chill hit my bare feet as I stepped onto the platform.

It wasn’t made of the same black material I knew, nor was it as large. While the one in the Labyrinth Square could transport up to a thousand people, this one was just enough for an order of knights, about a hundred men. What made this platform so familiar, though, were the engraved runes and the white light they lit up with when we all marched onto it.

“Good luck out there,” the mage in charge of the teleportation platform wished us before the light covered the darkness of the night.

 

***

 

“Korra?” Stella whispered as she caught my ears flicking from side to side.

We teleported. “Sorry, I kind of expected to hear the cry . . . stupid, I know.” Traiana’s cry, the faint one I heard in the labyrinth after every teleport.

“Don’t worry, little Guardian. You’ll hear it soon enough.”

The real Traiana, I mean as real as her millennia-old echo could be, nearly scared the shit out of me. Her being here, too, completely slipped my mind.

“A little jumpy, huh?” Geran teased me. Most likely to help me get rid of the unease. Whether he questioned my silly remark about the cry, he didn’t show. “In my first battle . . .”

“Off the platform! Rosicrucian 7, follow me!”

And we followed.

In one way, it was a blessing to be surrounded by knights I knew I could count on. All I had to do was do what they did and not think too much about things. Besides, I was spared the sight of the battlefield. But that was the stupid part of my thoughts.

Despite the battlefield being the place Stella and I had been trying to get to for months, I dreaded the moment I would see it in all its horror. We weren’t even at the front yet, and the racket around sent shivers down my spine. 

Regardless, with Stella at my side, like other knights, I marched on, wings pressed to my body, tail safely tucked between my legs.

“Stop!” As one, the knights, Geran surprisingly included, halted, their steps in perfect sync. The same could not be said for Stella’s and my strides. We simply never received the proper knightly drill: “Sir, High Commander Ronnu, Rosicrucian 7th, present.”

“Good, very good, High Commander. The 2nd and 11th have just arrived. Take position with your men and prepare to march.”

“Yes, sir,” Ronnu saluted, but didn’t move. “How bad is it, sir?”

“Bad, High Commander. I’ll explain when everyone’s here. Now fall in line.”

“You heard the man!”

It was kind of strange to see her take orders like that - scary, even. Ronnu always gave me the impression that she was the one in charge, that everything revolved around her. The devotion her men and women gave her made me forget that there were people she answered to, those in command above her.

“I have to say, gals, I’ve never seen that guy so tense,” Geran said. Not exactly something I needed to hear at the dawn of battle as we lined up at the bottom of the hill. 

The noise of the battlefield coming from behind it had my ears flattened against my head. Bang after bang shook the earth more than my body trembled, while the stench of burn, blood, and things I didn’t dare think about made my nose wrinkle in disgust. Clutching the hilts of the daggers at my waist to steady my hands, I stood with my eyes glued to the flashes that lit the night.

The weight of the moment, the way the air seemed to grow heavier and heavier with each breath, made me almost forget - almost - that somewhere over that hill ahead of us was our way HOME.