Lament of the Lost

‘SCREW YOU, BITCH!’

‘. . . and the damn core’

If she thought I was going to suffer for her entertainment in exchange for less pain, she was sorely mistaken.

‘Dulling my pain, my ass!’

The pain was the least of the suffering. It came and went. What remained, however, was a twisted body. So . . .

‘. . . screw you!’

Yet, regardless of how loud I screamed my mind out, no matter how hard I tried to get off the table and out of this messed-up archaic butchery the deranged asshole called his precious lab; I remained to lie still as a lifeless husk, my lips eerily tight. The hold of the shoelace bitch over my mind was firmer than that of my fucked-up Slave Array or the accursed collar, leaving me with no choice but to beg. And so I did. 

‘Please!’

‘Let me go!’

‘PLEEEASEEE!’ 

Hot tears burned my eyes, and snot mixed with the not-yet-dried blood under my nose. But was I ashamed? Not even a little bit. This place taught me the hard way that things like compassion, pride, and dignity were luxuries I better left at home, the place stolen from me.

‘Please!‘

‘I’ll do anything but . . . really, anything but this.‘

‘Just . . . just get that thing out of me. Please . . . ’

Much to my despair, my screamed, silent pleas fell on deaf ears, like so many times before. No voice of a god graced my mind with his attention; not even the shoelace bitch bothered to berate me to shut up. 

“How long is this supposed to take, you know, before . . . ?”

“If the core was full of mana, beast mana to be precise, the reaction would be practically instant. But to increase the chances . . . ”

“Spare me the nonsense, Dungreen. How long?”

The bastard’s irritated grinding of teeth cut into my ears like the excruciating scratching of my fellow freaks’ fingernails on the stone walls down in the cells. 

“Between now and a few minutes is my best guess.”

“Tsk, guess? Just say you don’t know.”

“This isn’t spell weaving. Each Beast Core is unique; every subject is different.”

“Are you plagued with brain rot? I said I don’t care about the nonsense; I care about the results. Tell me, would it help if I gave the core a little poke?” With a sharp jab, she dug her finger into my shoulder, twisting it for emphasis. 

“Nah. Odds are, I’m afraid, that you would delay rather than speed up the response to the core.”

“Tss. I knew I shouldn’t have come to this disgusting pigpen. Watching swine rutting back home would be a damn sight more entertaining than this.”

Bitch. Bitch indeed.

Forget being a freak, to her, I was less than an animal; much like the deranged asshole scribbling furiously, lost in his own twisted musings. Was that how this whole damn world looked upon the slaves? If so . . . 

‘Please! Just . . . kill me.’

“That ain’t happening,” the damn shoelace bitch, piped up in my mind. “You know, seeing someone scream after taking a Beast Core is - quite something. So . . . would you hurry up? Suffering that moron is such a chore.”

‘Screw you!’

“Oh, I’m not the one screwed.” 

Her shrill, grating cackle cut at my mind like the sharpest daggers.

However, before I could come up with a retort sharp enough to prick her swollen ego and provoke her to end me, I froze. The damn little crystal in my gut stirred, then again and again. And just when I dared to hope it wouldn’t get worse, it shifted slightly lower, flipped, and started to burn like hot iron.

A scream pierced my ears, my scream choked by the grip of my Slave Array and iron collar. I went against orders, the asshole’s orders. The shoelace bitch, on the other hand, eased her hold on my mind.

“Oh, at last, some fun.”

‘Fun, my ass!’ I screamed my mind out.

The burning intensified, spreading from my guts further into my body like the tentacles of some beast trying to tear itself out.

“See those black veins? Rot and decay. The core is rejecting the body. But it is too soon to . . . ”

His words drowned beneath the swell of my screams, each one scraping against my throat like sandpaper, making every other one rougher and rougher. And then, as those searing tentacles working their way through my bowels touched my heart, a feral roar tore from my lips, primal and savage, as if unleashed by a beast.

“Fascinating. None of the subjects have shown this reaction before. The beast part of her must be reacting to the core.”

“Oh, really? Then be a good girl and show me more,” the shoelace bitch purred in a whisper after leaning in close to my ear, the joy over my suffering oozing off her tongue.

“Then release me!” I spat through the pain, startling myself not just by being able to talk but mainly with the sudden craving to rip that foul tongue out of her mouth. If only she would draw nearer, I would gladly show her the consequences of crossing me.

Of course, the cowardly bitch didn’t. 

Instead, she opened her hole again, spewing some bullshit, just like that deranged asshole, both of their voices drowned out by my screams. The searing hot tentacles of that damn core wrapped around my heart, squeezing it.

“Oh, what a wonderful roar - be a good girl and sing to me again.”

“I . . . am not . . . your pet,” I snarled, feeling the sting as my tongue grazed against my teeth. Where I had normal canines a moment ago, razor-sharp little fangs stick out. Yet another change forced on me.

‘Just let me die, you f . . . fuckers!’

“Has the rot reached your brain already? That ain’t happening. No fun in that,” the bitch uttered in my mind, just to whisper in my ear: “Nice fangs, by the way.”

“Fascinating; the core has undoubtedly stirred up the beast part of her. As if . . . ”

“Are you trying to tell me that she’s actually taking the core?”

“I don’t know . . . most of her mutations show no visible reaction, but beast parts of her seem to . . .”

“I told you not to spout nonsense. That’s impossible.”

“Not impossible - just not proven possible yet. Sure, the way the decay spreads from the injection point indicates that her human part rejects it. But . . . maybe if . . . ”

“If what?”

“If she were to become more of a beast . . . then maybe . . . ”

“Oh, you heard that,” the shoelace bitch whispered in my ear. “Doesn’t that sound tempting - you a full beast? A pet.”

Laughing at my bestial roar, as the words seemed stuck in my throat, the bitch stroked my ear playfully. “What would it take, Dungreen?”

“P-pardon me, ma’am?”

“Oh, for the mind’s sake, didn’t you say it would help turn her into a full beast? That girl is fucked anyway.”

“Full beast? No, that’s pretty much impossible. There is always going to be the human part . . . ”

“Tsk, the nonsense again. Would it help or not?”

“It would, but . . . ”

“What now? Don’t tell me you’ve grown a conscience? Should I give your mind a little push? What do you think?”

My pained roar drowned out the asshole’s retort. That damn core’s scorching tentacles, spreading to every nook and cranny of my body, squeezed my heart tighter.

“ . . . I said there’s nothing left for me to give her.”

“What are you yapping about? What’s with all the bottles and vials lying around. Just for show? Like all your fucking research?”

“I beg to differ . . . ma’am! The problem is, she had a taste of all of them. Why do you think I was planning on implanting a core into her? Giving her more of the same won’t have any effect. Just a waste of resources.”

“Yeah, yeah, I wonder who’s a waste of resources. But speaking of you - then give her some of your botched work. And don’t dare to give me some nonsense like you don’t have any lying around.”

“The same issue. Her body has already gone through the side effects. It would be pointless.”

What? That deranged asshole didn’t feel like pouring a concoction down my throat? Was I raving? Was this the end of my suffering? If only. My best guess? He saw more value in using the botched concoctions on new slaves.

“Tsk, not the Alchemist I thought you were, huh?” the shoelace bitch scowled, and leaned over to whisper in my ear: “Oh, well, looks like I got excited for nothing. Disappointing, really disappointing. Don’t you agree, girl?” 

‘No . . . not really.’

As the accursed core took all the fight out of me, I only mustered a faint smile. It felt damn good, though. Actually, thinking about it, I smiled for the first time in months.