Kiss the Stranger

“Ah.”
I woke with a fierce dizziness and a sudden chill. I lay still, blinking. As I came to, I heard the faint patter of rain. It had been raining only at night for days. Each morning the sky would clear and I thought that was fortunate—if it rained by day, the Stranger would surely be in trouble.

Matching the downpour, I smelled the Stranger’s sweet pheromones and my body trembled. This, too, had become a daily occurrence. I held my breath and waited for the shaking to subside. Behind me, of course, he was there—his steady breathing, the warmth against my back, his complete stillness, all as always.
I slowly turned toward him. While he lay motionless, asleep, this was the only time I could look at the Stranger freely.
After that day I hadn’t taken the evening medicine—but that wasn’t entirely my choice. I always returned from the workshop so exhausted that I’d fall asleep without dinner. Yet in exchange for seeing the Stranger asleep at dawn, skipping an evening meal felt trivial.

Kamar.
I whispered his name, barely moving my lips. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t wake. My trembling eased bit by bit. I began to speak in a whisper.
“Nothing worthwhile today either. Who would’ve tried to kill you? They say Zakariya was the first to be questioned. There’s no one else they suspect…”

I sighed and asked,
“Will this just fizzle out like this?”
Would that be okay?
There was nothing I could do from the start. Had I made up excuses just so I could stay by the Stranger’s side one more day?

Suddenly even that small confidence vanished.
“What do you think?”
I asked softly. A chill ran through me—not from fear, but because the room had grown cold with rain and night. Shivering, I rubbed my arm and curled in on myself. I spotted the blanket draped down to the Stranger’s waist. Carefully, I reached out and tugged it up to his shoulders.

“Why aren’t you covering yourself…?”
I remembered how he often kicked off the covers. I always pulled them back over him.
Like then, I drew him into my arms. But the Stranger’s body was warmer than mine. Fearing I might chill him, I released my arm and wrapped the blanket around him instead. Cold air hit my exposed arm and I shivered again.

Oh no.
I feared he’d woken, but happily there was no sign of movement. I exhaled in relief and gazed at his face again. Sleep made it peaceful, though sometimes he looked utterly exhausted. I’d heard his endless meetings with foreign envoys left him beset by work.
Gently, I lifted a hand and brushed the stray hairs from his forehead. His hair was cut so short there was little to lift. I smiled remembering how it had grown wild when he stayed with me.

“You’ve grown so handsome.”
It was a joke I could only make because I was certain he’d stay asleep. I longed to look at his face longer, but weariness overcame me and my eyelids drooped. I drew him into my arms one more time, tucked the blanket back up to his shoulders, then turned away slowly. If he woke, he’d see me just as I was before I fell asleep. Every day. I closed my eyes. The rain continued its soft rhythm.
……?

A rustling sound stirred half of my awareness. Someone moved. Still half-asleep, I strained to listen. I felt presence beside me. He must be rising—then he stopped. Even with my eyes closed, I sensed his gaze on me.
The strange silence stretched on. My sleep lightened, but his gaze remained, relentless. My eyebrows twitched as a familiar scent drifted faintly.
Suddenly I realized who it was. The Stranger was watching me. No one else in his chamber, on his bed, would stare at me so long.

Why?
Though he’d surely woken earlier, I couldn’t move. My nerves stood on end at the thought of betraying my trembling. If I displeased him even slightly, punishment would follow. He was the man who’d drug me to sleep because my fear unsettled him. I must keep sleeping, feign sleep. If he discovered I was awake…!
With eyes tightly shut and my body rigid, the only movement was my pounding heart. It raced so fiercely I felt it might burst my ribs—but that lay beyond my control. I prayed he wouldn’t notice. Please, please.

Time flowed on. Minutes, hours, perhaps years—or maybe only seconds. Yet it felt like a lifetime as I lay there. My limbs went numb and my toes chilled. When I thought I could bear no more, I suddenly felt warmth. The Stranger’s fingers touched my cheek.

…!
Startled, I froze even the shallow breaths I’d been drawing. His fingertips traced my cheek, then my jaw, then paused at my lips. I realized how hot his fingers were—unless I myself was ice-cold. I pressed back gently. His fingertip slipped between my parted teeth and brushed my tongue. Then it entered my mouth.
His finger felt absurdly soft. The plump tip stroked slowly, exploring my tongue’s upper surface. Bending at its joint, he pressed and my mouth opened wide, forming a small hollow. The Stranger pulled his finger back slowly; the bent tip dragged across my tongue.

Inside my cheek, his finger traced soft patterns. His gentle caress felt as if he were using his tongue to explore me. I felt a pang of regret when he finally withdrew.
……?
I sensed his broad body leaning over me. The heat of his flesh pressed down, and I tensed again. I had no idea what he intended. I kept my eyes closed, trying to steady my ragged breathing. A soft breeze brushed my lips. Just as I sensed something nearing, there was a sudden knock.

“Your Highness, have you awakened?”
It was the page. The warmth descending on me halted instantly and remained motionless. My heart thundered and I thought I might die. I would die if the Stranger stayed on me for even another minute.
But mercifully, he moved. The disconcerting weight lifted, and the warmth retreated from close beside me.

Soon I heard fabric rustling as he dressed. I remained perfectly still, all my attention on every sound.
It wasn’t long before he moved away. The door opened, then closed. Silence returned. I didn’t open my eyes until long afterward.
“Haah…”

Only when I confirmed I was alone did I let out a deep sigh. My body throbbed from the tension.
What had just happened?
I panted, trying to piece it together, but it made no sense. Why had he looked at me like that? Surely he didn’t know of my rude act last night. If he had, he’d have dragged me out and beaten me. Maybe I dreamed it—that was the only rational explanation. There was no reason for the Stranger to stare at me and stroke my cheek, to caress my mouth. Yet the most unbelievable thing was what came next. I brought my hand to my lips. The finger I had traced there trembled ever so slightly. No way. I couldn’t believe it.

He almost kissed me. It’s absurd.
“An omega is livestock.”
His voice, suddenly alive in my mind, sank my fluttering heart into fear.

What was that?
Unable to contain my trembling, I clenched my fists.