Kiss the Ground

“What?”“How did I become strange? What was wrong with you, kissing me after breaking the promise?”At Chahyun’s words, Misha suddenly raised his head. His eyes were tinged with redness all around.“Tell me. If this is how it’s going to be, then I should also listen.”Chahyun overlapped his hand on Misha’s hand, which was touching his body. The trembling vibration under the uniform clearly indicated a clear turmoil. Not missing the opportunity, Chahyun sent a sharp gaze.“It’s because you… I… I want you.”Misha’s lips, devoid of color, twitched. The chaos that seemed to burst forth from his pupils, swaying as if about to burst, suddenly stopped and turned pitch black. It was a light made up of confusion, fear, desire, and other dark things.Chahyun could see his own face reflected in those black eyes. The confession, like a confession that pierced the throat, came out in the next moment.“I… I want to do whatever I want with you.”It was a voice that sounded like a knot tied around his genitals had been untied. The hand that gripped Chahyun’s sternum was filled with a different strength than before.“I want to ruin you, Yuan.”Misha looked at Chahyun as if he were someone he couldn’t possibly gather. His widely opened pupils were as honest as they were terrifying.“It’s been like that since that day. When you came to my house… when we sat at the same table in my car, when we lay next to each other sleeping, I kept thinking like that.”“…”“No one else, Yuan. I want you with my own hands…”Chahyun silently faced the lips that opened one after another. The voice, like a broken dam, gradually grew more intense.“I want to completely ruin you. I want to lock you away where no one knows… So that no one else can like you… I want to make sure of it.”Misha seemed unable to control the overflowing words and emotions. His shoulder, pressing down on Chahyun’s body, trembled visibly.“I want to get rid of everyone around you. Your team, your friends, your family… I want to erase everyone who looks at you, listens to your voice, and talks to you.”“Misha.”“So that no one remembers you.”It was not a hope, but a declaration. But as Misha who made such a threat looked at Chahyun, he seemed lost like a child. The emotions that lost their landmarks flickered thinly within his pupils like gossamer.“If I break you and tear you apart… if no one knows you anymore, then…”Chahyun met the face that had suddenly approached. Along with intermittent tremors, Misha whispered the last words like a breath.“Then the only one who can be by your side is me.”A dizzying sensation enveloped him like cold water. Chahyun looked at his face in confusion.The dark, sticky confession suddenly reminded Chahyun of what happened last night in the bathroom. The aggressive and persistent fingertips that groped his body and wounds… the strength that tried to fulfill his desires without permission while suppressing pain. When the touch that touched the wounds left by someone else gradually became rough and precarious, was Misha already engulfed in such desire?Then, what was Yoon Chahyun like back then? What was the heart of that moment when he surrendered his body to him, ignoring the ringing alarm? How was the sensation of the last moment, tingling sharply and resonating with pain?Was it as innocent and pure as Chahyun’s, unlike Misha’s?Chahyun chewed on the thought. Misha, who hadn’t noticed it yet, gradually widened his narrowed gaze. A gaze that had been clouded by something harsh slowly spread over Chahyun’s neck.“When you called me that day and asked for help, I honestly felt happy seeing you in pain.”“…”“I felt good. Because I could make you rely on me when you were weak… and I could be by your side without any other reason.”Misha confessed his sins in a quiet voice. But he doesn’t know what Yoon Chahyun was thinking at that moment. He knows nothing about the calmness and relief Chahyun felt when he used Misha’s feelings.“I’ve never had such thoughts before… I’ve become strange.”Misha murmured as if making a final confession. The redness under his eyes gradually deepened. The hand that had dug into his uniform slid weakly down to his waist.Looking at the face of the child who seemed to have lost his way, Chahyun couldn’t say anything and closed his mouth. Misha, with a dazed expression in the silence, looked only at Chahyun’s lips, then slowly shook his head downward.“Yuan, I’ve become repulsive.”It was a familiar resignation. It felt like a knife piercing his chest.“Because I have disgusting and unpleasant thoughts.”“…”“I love you, Yuan.”Misha wrapped the hand that had been touching Chahyun’s bare skin around his body and hugged him deeply. As his waist rose and his head touched his chest, like an animal losing its owner, he pressed his face against Chahyun’s neck and tenderly brushed his cheek.“I should have just followed your lead from the beginning, why did I end up like this?”Disheveled hair and swollen cheeks clung to Chahyun’s chest, appealing for his existence. The low breath slowly rose and fell, gradually transforming into something anxious and tender. Eventually, a resolute plea seeped into Chahyun’s ears like a solidified mass of regret.“Yuan, don’t leave.”He had clearly heard Chahyun’s declaration from last night. Misha, who had been lying with his back to him all night without saying a word, was now pouring out a belated plea in Chahyun’s embrace.“Don’t leave…! I’ll do anything, whatever you want, I’ll do it all…”“Misha.”“I’ll stay in my place… where I originally belonged. I won’t say bad things, or have strange thoughts anymore. So please, please don’t go.”Misha’s place. It was an incomprehensible expression. But instead of asking meaningless questions, Chahyun reached out both hands and grabbed Misha’s shoulders firmly. Perhaps thinking he was being rejected, Misha trembled as if electrified. Then, with a more agonized look, he looked at Chahyun.“What will we do if you don’t leave?”Chahyun smoothed his expression and looked at him quietly. Misha, as if pondering his intentions, took a shallow breath. It was a habit he had become accustomed to. His gaze wandered like ashes fluttering in the wind, then after a moment, his dry lips parted slightly.“A… contract.”“…”“Let’s make a contract again, Yuan. Anything is fine. I was stupid. I’ll do anything if it’s what you want, so please…”The first thing he brought up was wrong. With a firm elbow, Chahyun told Misha distinctly.“No. I won’t.”Despite pleading so desperately about how being close to him made his chest tight and his head hurt… to ask him to tie himself back to that painful contract again. It was nonsensical. Too much had already changed between them to go back to the beginning.In response to the firm rejection, Misha bit his lip. With an endlessly desperate expression, he hesitantly uttered his second plea.“Then, then… it’s okay if someone else is by your side. Even if there’s someone else, it’s okay. As long as I can be by your side…”“No.”This, too, was wrong. Wasn’t it just a few tens of minutes ago that he looked at Chahyun with intense eyes, as if burning with his assertions? What he grasped were nothing but answers that didn’t fit and promises he couldn’t keep. His clumsy figure urged Chahyun to firmly grasp his own heart.The answer, the shell, must be broken by Misha himself. It was now beyond Chahyun’s reach to pull him back to the right path. Misha had to find out for himself. Watching over that was Chahyun’s responsibility.“Yuan, please…”Misha’s expression finally crumbled at Chahyun’s icy demeanor. His thin eyelashes drooped downward. Despite his boiling voice flowing out, Chahyun only tightened his grip on Misha’s arm, not giving him any escape.“Me… Me.”“You?”“…”“What should I do.”Shaking. The transparent barrier surrounding him shook wildly as if it would burst at any moment. It quivered with Misha’s pain, and every time he blinked as if in agony, it trembled as if swept away by the wind. Though invisible to others, it was vividly reflected in Chahyun’s eyes.Just a little more. Chahyun murmured inwardly, capturing every tremble of Misha’s with his eyes. Just a little more.“Me…”The moment when a single drop of water burst the balloon-like fullness inside him came right after.“Can you… love me?”Something transparent emerged from Misha’s reddened eyes. Like misshapen beads, it irregularly protruded and soon explosively flowed out, bursting like a breached dam.“Can you like me… Even if it’s not a match, can you kiss me?”“…”“If you just look at me… If you just think of me, then, Yuan.”Chahyun moved the hand that had been gripping Misha’s shoulder to his cheek. Then, he looked closely at the teardrops streaming down his face. Some flowed over black bruises, others passed over smooth skin. Countless tears gathered like pearls under his chin, then fell down abruptly, staining Chahyun’s uniform.Misha awkwardly wiped away what was streaming down his face. Like someone who had never done such a thing before, his mechanical touch repeatedly brushed his cheek. But it was much faster for his entire face to be completely soaked.“If your slump… disappeared during the match, I knew it. So you don’t need me anymore. But still.”“…”“…If you can stay by my side without jinx, then, can you?”A tingling sensation crept into Chahyun’s chest. It was refreshing like liberation, yet bitter like farewell. Filling his heart, Chahyun involuntarily hugged Misha’s neck.“Is that okay?”Really? Misha nodded frantically as he was hugged tightly. Holding Chahyun’s waist tightly as if about to break, he uttered a tearful voice intermittently.“It’s not okay, Yuan… I don’t want to make a contract and I don’t want anyone else by your side.”“But you said it was okay earlier.”“It’s a lie! Absolutely, absolutely not…”“Well… What should I do.”As if mocking his hesitation, a hot liquid consecutively showered Chahyun’s shoulders. Feeling his clothes getting damp, Chahyun finally understood the truth behind his sister’s disclosure.What made Misha cry wasn’t the sadness felt when someone died. It wasn’t even the malicious intentions of flesh and blood that tormented him. It was ultimately this. The desire for someone to look at them, hoping they would walk the same path. Selfish desires and demands of love.Misha is adorable. His face is pretty, his actions are naughty. And he’ll do anything for Yoon Chahyun. Although he’s someone whose thoughts are impossible to grasp, the unpredictable matches he plays with his unpredictable opponent are a few in the world.Sure enough, Misha buried his face in Chahyun’s embrace and sobbed.“Yuan, kiss me.”“Now?”“Now. Do it right now…”At the sudden and unexpected demand, Chahyun couldn’t help but smirk. He gently pulled Misha away and looked at his plain features.The water droplets hanging like crystals on his wet eyelashes were neither sensual nor noble as before. His eyes, craving for his partner, were soaked and swirled around, while his cheeks blushed crimson, moist and warm. But it was precisely this utterly human face that Chahyun adored with profound affection.“Alright. That seems doable.”Chahyun roughly gripped his neck and kissed him again. The angle was slightly different this time. Misha tried to turn his head to follow the lips with his own, but he couldn’t move due to the tight grip. The warm liquid on his cheek bypassed his lips and touched Chahyun’s tongue. Salty. After all, he was also human.Chahyun’s wet lips lightly touched Misha’s pretty cheek and brushed against the bridge of his nose. Then, after tracing the scars and marks like blossoming flowers, they finally reached his lips. Unable to endure any longer, Misha opened his mouth and swallowed Chahyun’s lips.It was a kiss after a week. But it felt like a kiss after seven years. Chahyun held back his urge to touch his wounds and jaw to prevent any mishaps and exhaled hot breath. Misha’s tongue, piercing deep, swept across Chahyun’s tongue and mouth frantically. So now, perhaps, he understood how bitter his own tears were.In the underground of the ground where they had just run, he was lying down overlapping with his former teammate, kissing repeatedly. The feeling of nausea in his stomach was now a familiar feeling of intimacy. Receiving the warm and sweet lips, Chahyun finally realized why the slump that had plagued him and Misha had disappeared in an instant.The reason Chahyun’s slump disappeared was probably because… his trauma was no longer a trauma.That’s it. If you start liking chickens, your fear of chickens disappears. It was ridiculous and funny. As Chahyun giggled softly through the touching lips, Misha hugged Chahyun’s waist tightly. There was still lingering anxiety. Chahyun raised his hand and gently stroked Misha’s wounds.“Yuan.”“I’m going to kill this bastard.”“…”“You touched my face? Sons of bitches who mess with manners like to get beaten up…”Misha, who didn’t understand most of it, tilted his head slightly. He couldn’t even remember the name of Villadavalt’s No. 7. He should be careful not to be assassinated by the furious Winchester FC hooligans while returning home. That glorious retribution was Chahyun’s responsibility. Watching Misha, who had fiery eyes, approach him again like a ghost, he once again embraced him.Despite saying he didn’t want to kiss, that it hurt and troubled him… Misha, who had said such words just moments ago, stared at Chahyun with reddened eyes as if about to swallow him whole. Meeting his gaze, a firm kiss landed on his cheek again. With a face filled with private kisses, Chahyun heard the cheers of Winchester’s victory echoing from afar.Today, Winchester FC advanced to the Champions League semi-finals. The stadium must have been crazy with fans, and there would be a wild party in the locker room. The sight of Blue crying and dehydrating from exhaustion would be a sight for sore eyes.Today, Cahill is in the protagonist’s seat. And Alana said she would return here soon after finishing her advisory work for the disciplinary committee. Twenty minutes, that’s the given time. When wearing the uniform, Yoon Chahyun and Misha always had to be within the time limit.Time is tight, and space is dangerous.Chahyun gently touched Misha’s wounds and asked quietly.“Misha. Does it hurt a lot?”“Not really. It’s just a minor burn.”“That’s a relief.”He murmured quietly, gently touching Misha’s cheek, and Misha looked up with a puzzled expression. With his face unusually wet, looking particularly innocent and naive, Chahyun furrowed his brows. The sensation of his rising body temperature wasn’t due to his mood. The impulse that had been circulating in his vocal cords unconsciously turned into words.“This wound, it’s like mine….”A hot heat rose through the gap in the dirty uniform. My heart raced frantically at what I was about to say. After Chahyun finished speaking and blinked silently, Misha’s gray pupils widened like saucers. And the next moment, his lips parted very slowly.