Kiss the Ground

Knowing he couldn’t see the other person, Chahyun nodded absently. Yes, the game was the priority. Advancing to the semifinals was the ultimate goal and the only meaningful thing for Yoon Chahyun and Winchester United FC.***The match was just a day away. After a dinner that doubled as a self-cheering session with his teammates, Chahyun returned to Misha’s house late at night. Though they left for work together, they always came home separately. Seeing Misha’s car in the garage meant he was already home. Feeling as if he had stones in his shoes, Chahyun entered the house.“Misha… I’m back.”“Welcome back.”Misha appeared in the living room, slightly damp as if he had just finished showering. Meeting the homeowner like this was unexpected. Watching Chahyun awkwardly step into the hallway, Misha paused for a moment.“Yeah, I’m a bit late. I had dinner outside…”Everyone knew about Jude’s loud invitation in the locker room, so Misha wasn’t surprised. But Chahyun felt the need to explain as if he were making an excuse and entered the hallway. He calmly walked past Misha and headed to the dressing room they shared.‘This is so awkward…’

Misha’s attempts to avoid contact with Chahyun were blatantly obvious, and Chahyun felt just as uncomfortable. The fact that Misha was overly sensitive made things worse. Even without the broken contract, their cohabitation was unusually tense.They’ve done more than this, yet now such trivial contact seemed daunting.‘I should just shower and sleep.’From his recent experience, Chahyun knew that falling asleep was the only solution. It was absurd, but for now, there was no other option. He quickly undressed and entered the bathroom.As hot water poured over his head, Chahyun closed his eyes. The bathroom in this house had become familiar. Initially, even the faucet felt strange, but now even the all-white tiles reminded him of the house’s owner, reflecting a sense of not quite being settled in.And that owner was just a few meters away outside this door.Being near Misha made Yoon Chahyun feel safe. Though he wasn’t used to the feeling of being with someone, it was comforting. Just sharing the same space with Misha made Chahyun feel relaxed and stable.Perhaps it was because Misha knew all of Chahyun’s secrets, his embarrassing superstitions, the questionable ways he managed them, and how fragile he really was. Misha was the one who understood Chahyun’s deepest vulnerabilities better than anyone.“Ouch… damn, that hurts.”A sharp pain intruded on his thoughts. Chahyun glanced at his back in the large mirror. Several worn-out bandages were dangling. He realized he hadn’t visited the medical room due to the impromptu dinner plans.The bruises were still severe. To move freely before the match, he couldn’t neglect his treatment. After drying off, Chahyun fetched the tin case from his team bag.Opening the case for the first time, he found it filled with white ointment that had a distinctly medical scent. He spread some on his fingers and looked at his back in the mirror. But within a second, he realized his mistake.“……”Human arms weren’t as long as he needed them to be. Trying to apply ointment to the middle of his back, he ended up looking ridiculous. Twisting his body made his already sore shoulder and arm feel like they were going to snap.“Come on, this is…”Should he use a toothbrush to apply it? Even if he managed to spread the ointment, how would he stick the bandages on? Without a doctor or trainer to help, this was impossible.Suddenly, a dangerous thought flashed through his mind, like a red siren going off.Absolutely not. There’s no way I can ask him.He couldn’t possibly ask someone who practically drew an invisible line down the middle of the bed and turned his back so harshly to do this for him. The look of horror on Misha’s face when their knees touched was enough. He’d rather suffer alone than see that expression again.After a few more futile attempts to twist and turn, Chahyun was about to give up when he heard a faint sound from the living room. It seemed like a hallucination, the kind of vibration you might feel in an enclosed space. As he doubted his ears, the sound grew clearer.It was the sound of someone walking into the bedroom. The quiet, regular footsteps stopped right in front of the dressing room, then miraculously paused outside the bathroom. Surely not. Chahyun stared at the door, eyes wide open. A single thought flashed through his mind.He said he’d come whenever Yoon Chahyun needed him, no matter where or when.But not now. It was just a fleeting thought. Before he could rush to lock the door, it swung open. Chahyun froze like a deer caught in headlights.The reaction from the person outside the door was equally stunned.“Y-Yuan.”Misha’s eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost in his own house. He took a few steps back, utterly shocked and bewildered as the door slowly swung open.“I thought you’d be using the other bathroom. I didn’t expect you to be here…”Misha Asplund’s house had three bathrooms. Choosing the one he was most familiar with wasn’t the host’s fault. The uninvited guest stood there, frozen, muttering a feeble reassurance.“It’s fine. This is your house, after all…”“Sorry.”Misha’s genuinely surprised eyes darted nervously side to side. It had been a while since Chahyun had seen him this flustered. His confused gaze traveled from Chahyun’s face down his body, like a slow-falling pill in a glass of water.Maybe it was the panic, but Chahyun felt each movement of Misha’s eyes distinctly, causing him to involuntarily suck in his breath. The only thing separating them was a haze of steam, insufficient to conceal one person’s nakedness.Misha’s eyes lowered through the mist, his expression one of helpless confusion, as if he couldn’t control his own gaze and was shocked by it.His blatant stare roved over Chahyun’s wet neck, bare chest, and stomach. The slow, deliberate path encircled his waist and hips, before reluctantly moving down to his wet legs.This isn’t good. Feeling an unbearable discomfort, Chahyun subtly turned his body. He knew reacting too sensitively could be counterproductive, but…“Misha, um… I’m not done yet.”A few seconds of silence followed. Then, a sudden question echoed in the bathroom.“Yuan, did you get that injury in the first match?”Only then did Chahyun realize he had inadvertently shown Misha the wounds on his back. He hadn’t done it on purpose, but now he felt an awkward need to explain.“Oh, that… uh…”“Was it from when Villarreal’s number 7 fouled you?”Every day, they reviewed match footage in simulation seminars. Each time they replayed Chahyun’s tumble, Misha had watched with a chillingly impassive expression. But this was the first time they were discussing Chahyun’s injury.“Well, yeah, but the doctor said it’s just a bruise… It looks worse than it is.”“It looks serious.”“It won’t stop me from playing the second match.”“Is that medicine in your hand?”“Yeah. The doctor said if I keep applying it, I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”The unintended change of topic was a relief for Chahyun. But that comfort lasted only a few seconds.“Can you do that alone?”Chahyun, forgetting his embarrassment, turned to look at Misha’s face. There was an unexpected uncertainty in his eyes. He seemed torn between concern for Chahyun’s well-being and his hesitation to make physical contact. A faint voice followed in the next moment.“Let me do it.”The thought that Chahyun had dismissed as impossible suddenly became a reality at that moment.“No, you don’t have to.”“Give it to me.”Despite not having made a clear decision, Misha stepped onto the tile floor. Chahyun took a half-step back. Ignoring this, Misha fully entered the bathroom.“I can do it…”“I’ll be quick.”Misha slowly raised his palm towards Chahyun. Concern for Chahyun’s injury seemed to have won out. Reluctantly, Chahyun placed the ointment into Misha’s hand, feeling utterly defeated.“Show me the wound.”Is this okay? Is it really okay to ask Misha to do this? In this situation… But Chahyun’s moral compass had long since become muddled and distorted.Chahyun slowly turned to face the wall. His bare feet fumbled on the wet tile floor. In the moisture-filled air, he needed to grasp something to avoid slipping. He pressed his damp palms against the wall, narrowing his brows.The person approaching from behind said nothing. The sound of dripping water echoed loudly. Chahyun stared at the white tiles, holding his breath. Between his naked legs, he could see Misha’s properly clad lower half.“…!”The sudden cold sensation on his shoulder took him by surprise. Perhaps due to the warmth from the shower, the ointment felt especially chilly, making Chahyun flinch and clench his teeth.The white ointment on Misha’s fingertips spread transparently over Chahyun’s skin, leaving a sticky trail on his stiff shoulder and back muscles. The area of application slowly expanded, and a faint question reached Chahyun’s ear.“Does it hurt?”“I’m fine…”Chahyun replied quietly. He couldn’t tell what Misha was thinking just from the slow movements of his hands on his skin.“Ah.”Misha’s fingers brushed over the small bruises near his shoulder, then moved to the larger one in the middle of his back. A sharp pain made Chahyun exhale softly and bite his lip.The clumsy touch, trying to balance pressure based on Chahyun’s reactions, was something Chahyun had known once before. No, don’t think about it, he told himself, but the memory surfaced like a playful trick.It was in a hotel in the Netherlands. The feeling of the bedspread against his knees while he straddled Misha was etched in Chahyun’s mind like a tattoo. The awkward yet determined hands that tried to soothe each other until the end, the mingled breaths and sounds still lingered.That must be why Misha was avoiding him. Although it was hard to understand Misha’s mind, Chahyun could grasp this much. They shared the memory of a night when it felt like everything could break.“Ow… ah.”As Misha’s fingers brushed over a raw spot, Chahyun twisted his shoulder. An amateur’s touch was unstable and frightening, making his lower abdomen tighten with heat, unpredictable.“…”Misha’s fingers withdrew at Chahyun’s reaction. Chahyun barely had time to catch his breath before they touched his curved spine again, as if avoiding the previous spot.“… Ugh, huh…”Near his lower back was the largest bruise, darker than red, almost black like charcoal. Even the doctor handled it with the gentlest care.But Misha was not as delicate. Relying on the slippery texture of the ointment, his fingers traced lines over Chahyun’s lumbar and sacrum. The chilling sensation of sliding downwards made Chahyun press his hot forehead against the wall.“That hurts, Misha.”A voice like crushed stone emerged from his throat. The muscles in his arms twitched uncontrollably as he clung to the wall. Chahyun shuddered again at the unresponsive touch.“Oh, it hurts, it hurts there, so please….”But was it truly just pain?The chill of Chahyun’s internal monologue pierced his heart, contrasting with the heat rising in his body. What drove Chahyun into a terrifying awareness was not the pain itself, but the realization of it. He crawled to the side space as if to escape. However, Misha suddenly grabbed Chahyun’s bare waist as if to restrain him.“Ah, ah… ah!”Misha clutched Chahyun’s waist with both hands as if it would break, and with his right thumb on Chahyun’s spine, he slowly traced a bruise. The sharp sensation jolted Chahyun, who then lifted his chin and exhaled a ragged breath against the lukewarm wall.With a brain starved of fuel, it consumed rationality instead of oxygen. The hand trailing up his back slowly climbed his waist, brushing over the muscles alongside his ribs. Wandering fingertips explored his skin meticulously, finally reaching just below his chest.In that moment, Chahyun twisted his arm behind him to grasp Misha’s hand. The remnant of his rationality clung to his fading consciousness. Chahyun turned his creaking neck to look back at him. What came out of his throat was a pitiful, pleading sound.“Misha, stop… it hurts too much….”Misha’s eyes were unfocused, devoid of reason, filled with a hot fervor that seemed to surrender everything to impulse. His gaze, heavy and damp, bore down on Chahyun’s body as if piercing through it, before slowly rising to finally meet Chahyun’s eyes.For a brief moment, the gray pupils found clarity, only to suddenly widen. It was a terrified and horrified look, as if realizing his mistake too late. And it was a face Chahyun had desperately tried to avoid.“Ah, Yuan… I…”He released Chahyun’s waist as if dropping him, and without even thinking to pull his hand away, he stumbled back a few steps. With a face as if he’d accidentally killed something, he stammered an apology.“I’m sorry.”Then, as if to steady himself, he grasped the doorknob and dashed out of the bathroom. Witnessing this turmoil, Chahyun slowly sank to his knees on the spot.“…….”A sharp thought cut through the abnormal heat in his head.This can’t go on. This is completely wrong.Saying it would be fine even if the contract fell through, pretending it didn’t matter… how laughably hollow those words were. Yoon Chahyun was not okay at all. The nominal relationship left a vivid mark on his heart as if a piece of flesh had been torn away.If such impulsive contact touched there now, then…Chahyun crouched down, covering his face with his hands. The tiles he touched quickly grew warm. His wildly beating heart was beyond his control.It was a long time before Chahyun emerged from the bathroom. Changing into spare pajamas and moving to the bedroom took an unusually long time today. When he finally shuffled into the bedroom, Misha was already lying in his usual position, facing away.It was a sight he had become familiar with over the past few days. Pulling back the covers and sliding in beside him, Chahyun quietly stared at the opposite wall.Just before the first game, when the bond of their contract still existed, its execution had taken place at the hotel. If the contract hadn’t ended as it did, where would Yoon Chahyun and Misha be standing now?Lying in the same bed with him suddenly felt incredibly strange to Chahyun. The fact that they could cover themselves with the same blanket as if nothing had happened after what occurred that day. The heat and emotions from then aren’t easily forgotten even if one decides to.Chahyun turned his head to the left without making a sound. Misha lay there with the same back view he had shown for the past week, as if captured in a photograph.Was he asleep?Probably not. He had said at the hotel that he couldn’t sleep before a match. Once convinced of this, Chahyun’s breathing grew erratic. The clear realization he had felt in the bathroom rose to his throat.“Misha.”When he called his name with dry lips, the air in the bedroom trembled. Chahyun spoke quietly.“After tomorrow’s game… I’ll leave here.”Misha had told him to stay, but they couldn’t remain like this forever.Yoon Chahyun’s presence was driving Misha in a painful and wrong direction. His gaze, impossible to ignore, spoke volumes instead. And Yoon Chahyun didn’t want to leave him in that agonizing conflict any longer.The heart that had recoiled from the sudden crime was now okay. After spending several nights out of the house, the shock had dissipated. Whatever happens from now on, he wouldn’t crumble like before. He was sure of that.“Misha.”Chahyun spoke into the empty air.“Because you were by my side… I was able to endure until now. From now on, I’ll handle it on my own. This is my problem.”“……”“Thank you for everything up to now. And…”Misha said nothing. Embracing the quiet silence, Chahyun thought alone. Whether he won or lost tomorrow’s match, he would leave this house. And once he returned to his normal life, he would do as Misha wished. If Misha wanted a close relationship like the past few months, he would oblige. If Misha preferred just casual greetings like before, he would respect that too.“I’m sorry, Misha.”And if Misha wanted to cover everything up, Chahyun would do so. If it meant Misha wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, he would gladly forget everything. He could do that.Repeating this to himself, Chahyun closed his eyes. The night before a game without a contract gradually darkened.