Just A Friend

#31

“I understand how you feel, but you should accept what you’re entitled to.”

The money sent by his biological father was obviously meant as an exemption, but child support was something he should rightfully receive. Moreover, Kang Jihan was still young. It was wise to make use of whatever resources were available.

“It’s good to have a high-paying job. But it would be frustrating if the reason for that was because of such a person.”

He hoped that Kang Jihan wouldn’t become obsessed with breaking away from his biological father. The image of Kang Jihan in a pale gown, looking drained, came to mind, and he sincerely hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

“And…”

He wanted to tell him to love his mother, who was currently by his side, with all his heart, rather than focusing on an uncertain future that might never come. So that Kang Jihan wouldn’t feel empty when he was left alone later.

“…Be good to your mother. Did you peel fruit for her?”

After saying it, he worried if he had overstepped. He glanced at Kang Jihan, but there was no sign of displeasure. However, the voice that came out after a long pause was low.

“You’re really irresponsible.”

Had he crossed the line after all? Nam Seonwoo kept his mouth shut.

This time, Kang Jihan fiddled with a peach jelly. Every minute and second of silently watching that meaningless gesture felt excruciatingly slow. Kang Jihan muttered.

“Saying all this while telling me not to like you.”

“…”

Nam Seonwoo protested a beat late.

“I would have said the same thing to Park Gyuhyeon.”

“Don’t say it to Park Gyuhyeon.”

Contrary to his firm words, Kang Jihan was wearing a faint smile as he took out the peach jelly from the bag.

“What if that bastard ends up liking you too?”

This time, Nam Seonwoo kept his mouth shut for a different reason. As he turned his gaze away dismissively, Kang Jihan opened the wrapper and offered him a jelly. Looking at the pink morsel that didn’t suit the fully grown, dark guy, a belated question arose. Come to think of it, why did he only buy peach flavor?

“They didn’t sell peaches at the convenience store.”

Nam Seonwoo gave Kang Jihan a strange look for stating the obvious, but he didn’t withdraw his hand. Pushing away the hand that seemed to urge him to eat, Nam Seonwoo shook his head.

“No, you eat it…”

His words trailed off as his eyes fell on the plastic bag full of snacks. These too must have been bought with the money Kang Jihan earned working part-time until dawn. With that thought, he couldn’t refuse.

Nam Seonwoo silently took the jelly and put it in his mouth. An artificial fruit scent burst forth, but the taste wasn’t bad.

‘But…’

Did I ever mention that I liked peaches?

* * *

Due to construction issues at the library cafeteria, the study location with Kang Jihan had changed.

Nam Seonwoo double-checked the wide-open door and the sounds coming from the living room. Right now, Baek Heeyeon’s presence was a kind of safety measure for him. At least as long as she was there, Kang Jihan wouldn’t be able to do anything unnecessary—she was a sort of guarantee.

‘Want to come to our house?’

‘You again…’

‘Mom says she wants to see you.’

Because of Kang Jihan’s unfair use of the “mom card,” he couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

Nam Seonwoo stole a glance at Kang Jihan sitting across from him. Despite his state of alertness, Kang Jihan was solving past exam questions as instructed.

He didn’t feel embarrassed about being wary of such a young guy at the age of thirty-four. It wasn’t just because of the difference in strength he had felt before. It was because he didn’t trust himself not to get swept up in that strange atmosphere if it happened again.

‘And yet you still came here.’

What on earth am I doing? Nam Seonwoo decided to retract his thought that he knew himself well.

By the way, sitting cross-legged was starting to make his legs numb. As he slowly stretched out his legs, careful not to brush against those ridiculously long legs, their eyes suddenly met. Feeling caught for having been staring at Kang Jihan, Nam Seonwoo complained unnecessarily.

“Are you using the whole table? Move your legs.”

“Should I move to the side then?”

“Why don’t you just go to that desk over there?”

“I don’t want to.”

Kang Jihan smiled slightly at the disgusted expression. As he stretched his legs out halfway, the numbness seemed to intensify. As Nam Seonwoo frowned and fidgeted with his legs, Kang Jihan’s gaze also turned downward.

“Got a cramp?”

Without any hesitation, he grabbed Nam Seonwoo’s calf and stretched it out, causing Nam Seonwoo to let out a near-scream.

“…Hey!”

The sharp pain almost brought tears to his eyes. But more than that, the hand that suddenly invaded his popliteal space was more concerning. A tingling sensation bloomed around the fingers that wrapped around the sensitive area, making it feel like the numbness was spreading from his leg up to his navel.

As he flailed like a flopping fish, Kang Jihan’s laughter became audible. It was puzzling why he found it so amusing while getting hit by the flailing legs. Now glaring at the loosened smile, Kang Jihan spoke as if making an excuse.

“As a friend, I want to massage it, but I’m worried you’ll say something again.”

“Then as a friend, could you please not touch me as you please?”

Nam Seonwoo’s gritted response was overlapped by Baek Heeyeon’s voice. It was a call to come out for a meal. Kang Jihan asked with a smile.

“Can you stand up?”

“Go ahead, please.”

With a look that suggested he might bite if touched again, Kang Jihan stood up, barely suppressing his laughter. Nam Seonwoo watched his retreating figure and asked himself:

How on earth did I do it?

It was just a few days ago that he could treat Kang Jihan casually. But now he couldn’t. Not just Kang Jihan’s expressions, gestures, or voice, but even the air around him started to become noticeable. As if he had become a nineteen-year-old secretly in love with Kang Jihan.

The only thing that had changed was Kang Jihan’s attitude. The fact that his heart started fluttering again just because Kang Jihan smiled a little and pestered him saying he liked him, made him feel like a complete idiot.

Only after calming his unnecessarily fast-beating heart for a long time, in addition to his numb legs, was Nam Seonwoo able to go out to the living room.

Baek Heeyeon, who had returned from a long business trip, looked a bit tired. With her gaunt face still maintaining a smile, she seemed happy just watching the two of them eat. As she fondly watched the chattering Nam Seonwoo and her taciturn son, she said, “Jihan has changed a lot,” and showed something on her phone. It was a picture of clumsily peeled apples.

“I was wondering what he was doing so diligently in the kitchen, and he brought these peeled for me to eat.”

The apples, which seemed to have had more flesh cut away than skin, were in such a poor state that their original round shape was barely recognizable. Nam Seonwoo burst into laughter, reminded of the overly salty rice balls, causing Kang Jihan to turn off the phone screen. His ears were slightly reddened, suggesting he was capable of self-awareness.

Just as Nam Seonwoo was about to tell Baek Heeyeon about the rice balls, his eyes caught sight of that butterfly necklace again. The reason he couldn’t take his eyes off it was because the butterfly pendant seemed faded.

‘Huh?’

Certainly, the mother’s keepsake that Kang Jihan had kept in the drawer was so shiny it sparkled even from a distance. So it was a bit strange. When he had eaten here before, he thought it was due to the shadows, but now they were under the light. The white mother-of-pearl had lost its luster, like a clouded bead.

As his gaze lingered, Baek Heeyeon tilted her head.

“Seonwoo, what is it? Do you need something?”

“Ah, no. The necklace suits you well. That…”

Nam Seonwoo added meaninglessly.

“I thought it used to sparkle more, so I was wondering if it was different from the one you wore before.”

Baek Heeyeon looked down at her necklace. After a moment, she asked back.

“Before?”

“It’s the same one.”

Kang Jihan answered instead. The familiar necklace his mother always wore appeared as a semi-transparent faded color to his eyes as well.

Baek Heeyeon, who had been looking at her son, lowered her gaze to the necklace again. The mother-of-pearl reflected in her eyes was sparkling with a rainbow of colors. Raising her head again, Baek Heeyeon stared intently at her son and Nam Seonwoo sitting next to him.

“…Does it look like that to you two?”

“Pardon?”

Nam Seonwoo stopped eating at the strange response. Baek Heeyeon, with wide eyes, covered her mouth with one hand and said nothing. As her hand seemed to tremble slightly, Nam Seonwoo was about to speak when she laughed quietly.

“I see.”

Thank goodness. She whispered as if in prayer. The look in Baek Heeyeon’s eyes as she gazed at Nam Seonwoo grew even warmer.

“You’re eating well. I should bring you some more soup.”

Nam Seonwoo watched curiously as Baek Heeyeon stood up. What did she mean by it looking “that way” to “you two”? Moreover, if it was indeed the necklace she always wore, why was it different from the keepsake Kang Jihan had?

Suddenly, he remembered that his mother’s occupation was a shaman. …Could it be that his mother knew something about the regression? Just as that thought crossed his mind, his mother, heading towards the kitchen, stumbled badly.

Nam Seonwoo and Kang Jihan immediately jumped up and rushed to her. They supported her frail body swaying on both sides, but Baek Heeyeon seemed familiar with this situation.

“It’s okay, auntie gets like this sometimes. Jihan, you know this too. Go back and finish eating.”

Nam Seonwoo remembered why Kang Jihan had chosen neurology. Kang Jihan’s mother, who had long suffered from unexplained headaches. And now, her pale hand constantly massaging her arm as if it was numb, and her slurred speech as if her tongue was curled.

Somehow, he had a bad feeling.

“Mother. Can you look at me? …Mother?”

And as always, bad feelings always turned out to be true.