Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

“Y-yaay! I, I did it Momokawa-kuuun!”

Saying that, Futaba-san rushes over to me innocently smiling ear-to-ear. Making vigorous splashes on the puddles of blood underfoot.

“Ah, yup… You sure did…”

With an expression of mute amazement, I welcome back a Futaba-san who’s frolicking over as if she was a pet dog in high spirits after its owner came home after a long day’s work.

Calm down. Right now in front of me, the concaved heads, the smashed faces, the torn apart and scattered limbs, all these utterly massacred corpses of Goma floating in pools of blood, they’re things to be happy about. It’s a scene you ought not to be simply happy about as a sane human being, but this is the very thing, the thing I wished for from the bottom of my heart.

Yes, I, just moments ago, witnessed the absolutely awe-inspiring power of Futaba-san’s new vocation, Berserker.

“Yup, you’re awesome Futaba-san!”

“Fue, e, ehehe… Thankyou, Momokawa-kun”

Futaba-san was reddening at the cheeks as if her beloved had complemented her homemade cooking, but really, is that the appropriate conduct for a girl of age being praised on her killing technique?

Still, Futaba-san herself had been deeply worried about her state of powerlessness, so being this happy might just be as expected.

“You really were! To think you could fight that good—”

Our location: that fateful T-junction where I laughably fell into a trap set by the Goma. The very same place where Futaba-san went berserk due to drugs and annihilated hordes of Goma, and here once again, she had conducted a festival of blood featuring Goma.

The reason we expressly returned back here was because of Futaba-san’s strong request to try fighting using the power of Berserker. In short, battle testing.

I myself am also greatly interested in that power. The person herself is willing, and there was no reason to stop her either.

The weapons I had overexerted myself to carry back along with the collapsed Futaba-san, equipping her with the at-a-glance usable axe and dagger, ones with little rusting, we ventured forth and arrived here. Rather than blindly searching for targets, we figured we’d find some friends of those Goma coming back to scout out the situation, or maybe to retrieve their gear.

If they came back with a huge number of reinforcements, we had plans to retreat immediately, but lucky for us, the ones casually greeting our eyes were a small 5-man unit. Looked like they were only here for scavenging gear. Literally no intention to provide relief to the injured. Well, looking at the bodies, you can’t really judge anything other than instant death though.

We then surveilled our surroundings looking for signs of ambush. Making sure that those 5 are the only ones there, we went for it.

Going all out, I preemptively used Blackhair Bind to entwine one of them by the feet. At the same time, Futaba-san rushed out with a momentum unbelievable considering her mass, and headed towards the enemy without the least show of indecision or doubt.

Thereafter, the fight ended in the blink of an eye. As if my shabby support was completely unneeded, Futaba-san smashed the Goma one after the other.

No matter how many Power Seeds she pops, those little things bringing out this level of strength is blatantly outside predictions.

Luckily, the Goma were fairly spread apart for purposes of equipment retrieval. Before they could gather and display any teamwork, Futaba-san nimbly and orderly buried them.

The axe swung down to split their skulls like butter, and the fist thrust into their faces, pulverizing them. Aimless swings would make the limbs of the thin Goma blast off. With simple kicks, they’d dance in the air like a soda can, heading towards the tree branches lining the sides of the passage, getting skewered.

And with that, we get to the part were Futaba-san goes “Yaay” with a smile and comes back towards me.

“Still, even without any psyche type Skills, you sure did it well”

You sure killed ’em good, maybe saying that would be appropriate.

I had thought that Futaba-san, with here gentle and cowardly personality would be hopeless in fights without a Psyche Skill like Concentrate which made you forget fear.

Still, Futaba-san changing jobs(tenshoku) into the vocation(tenshoku) Berserker… erm, I’m gonna trip up those words… anyway, her getting new powers, and consequently not requiring any Skills that mettle with the psyche, is something I’m already aware of.[1]

Still she, displayed an almost refreshing level of carnage befitting one titled Berserker. Really, what astounding of change of heart, or maybe I can call it growth?

Don’t tell me, there’s still some residual effects of the drugs?

“Yep, you know, I… if it’s to help Momokawa-kun, I can do it“

As if sensing something, Futaba-san declared so with a bright smile. I’ll fight to protect someone, it’s like the mentality of shonen manga protagonists.

That would make me the heroine? If the strong and cool MC will go ahead and unfailingly protect a cumbersome and hysteric bitch “’cause she’s the heroine”, then I’ll gladly become one.[2]

“Uh huh, but, it’s not scary? Also, the blood or dead bodies, you’re ok on that?”

“A bit scary yeah. But maybe because I’ve run wild once already… I feel like I’ve gotten more used to it”

I see, indeed Futaba-san hadn’t voluntarily killed a Monster even once before rampaging like that. Is it like, having done it once, it’s no big deal anymore?

“And for the bodies, they don’t bother me at all. I’m used to them from cooking, also, work collecting cores from when I was with Class Rep, it wasn’t that bad”

On dismantling bodies, with her prided real-world cooking skill, she’s already top class. Nevertheless, considering the average extent of cooking, there’d be no way she’s familiar with large bodied animals… but perhaps, she may just have experience stripping whole cows or pigs.

“Ah! That’s right, now that we’re here, I’ll go get the cores!”

Maybe because Goma are fated to be simply mob Monsters, we don’t have much hopes of getting many of those crystals of mana AKA cores. But it’s not like there’s none. Of course, the ones we get would all be fragments smaller than pebbles. Well, it’s better than nothing.

“Then, I’ll leave it to you. I’ll collect the gear”

And for a short period, I busied myself scavenging through rotting flesh. Won’t these bodies suddenly disappear and leave behind some raw material and gold as drop items, I work while inadvertently thinking dumb things.

“U-uhm, Momokawa-kun… D-don’t look ok… it’s embarrassing…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not, I’m not looking”

Though I say that, if asked whether I want to look or not, I want to. I totally want to.

“U, uu…”

An embarrassed moan which sounds ever so close to crying. Along which, rustle, the faint sound of clothes in friction. Futaba-san was, at this very moment, stripping. Live undressing highschool girl.

“…”

Clear all thought. Calm down, Momokawa Kotarou. If thou, at this instance, looseth reason and turneth thy visage, what awaiteth thee is not but a face disfigured by the hand of ye Berserker. Yeah, I really don’t wanna be friends of those Goma turned meat lumps and blood pools.

Well, disregarding that, for the foreseeable future I need to make sure I don’t do anything to lose Futaba-san’s trust. So right now, I declare my vocation to be Gentleman.

“K-kay then, let’s concentrate on these meds”

I tell myself, as I grind away making Ointment A with a Fairy Walnut tree to my back.

After the battle with and highway robbery of Goma, we returned back to the Fairy Square. After getting our first loot since starting the whole dungeon capture, the top-notch feeling of satisfaction plus hope for the future, in addition to the convenience of it all, all of it gathered into one big sigh of relief.

And was it because of such a relief? We finally noticed— the smell.

A natural conclusion. Dropped into this otherworld, it has undoubtedly been more than a day. Right about now, it’s probably the 2nd or 3rd day. In that timeframe, we haven’t changed clothes even once.

Moreover, Futaba-san and I both have experienced blood-soaken battle. It’s very clearly at a level much higher than our clothes being simply dirty. Even hobos would look pristine in comparison.

That being the case, our current 1st priority was bathing and laundry.

And yet, here we had neither a bathroom with hot tufts of steam, nor one of the three sacred treasures, the washing machine. No way we had em. The only place to procure sanitary water in this dungeon would be, that’s right, the fountain in a Fairy Square.[3]

It was neither a bathtub, nor a shower, but should be described as a natural pool.

“…!”

From behind, the splashing sounds of water hit my ears. Futaba-san is, right now, right behind me, gratuitously exposing that plump body of hers.

I think, most of the guys from class would be like, That fatty naked? yea, NOPE; blergh, someone get be a bucket and raise their jeers but— Fuh, foolish plebeians. In the end, man cannot resist his desire. The desire, to see boobs that is.

But right now, the hero inside me, with a saintly spirit, he’s sealing away those wicked desires. To feast his eyes on Futaba-san’s that, that super-sized bust you can’t find even in big tit(kyonyuu) pornos(AV), he’s sealing that desire.

“Th-this is… perhaps my greatest trial yet…”

And for a brief period, like a middleschool boy in front of a sealed porn magazine in a convenience store, I tasted heart-wrenching pain and anguish.[4]

“Momokawa-kun… I, I’m done now”

With Futaba-san’s voice, my ordeal finally ends. In reality, it probably hasn’t been that long at all, but an acute feeling of exhaustion drones over my body.

But I can’t possibly display such a shameful appearance, and it’d be crazy bad news if she sees through my ulterior feelings, so I turn back sporting the face of a sage.

The figure of Futaba-san standing there was within expectations, dressed in our school designated deep blue gym clothes. It didn’t have any unintentional look of eroticism. Even wearing gym clothes, the chest and rear is the default tight fit, so that may be considered an exception in this case.

Seems like she washed her head too. The always fluffy hair wetted in water had somewhat lost its volume, and gave an out-of-norm impression.

“Yup, we’re lucky we brought the gym clothes huh”

“Yeah, I agree. Me too, if I didn’t see Momokawa-kun getting it, I’d have left it back at the classroom”

Thanks to that, we can take off our uniforms with the assurance of spare clothes. My hypothesis that in a survival scenario it’s better to have a 2nd set of clothes, has struck home with astounding success… but if we didn’t have them, Man, it can’t be helped, we got no spares huh, like that I could’ve seen Futaba-san in her underwear. I-it’s not like I’m regretting it okay![5]

“Uhm, Momokawa-kun, if you’d like, I can do the laundry”

“Eh, you will?”

“Yeah, I can’t really, do much of anything else”

Futaba-san’s gaze lands on the Ointment A production set I spread on the ground.

Certainly, as a Shaman and in charge of creating medications, I have the need to get to work while we’re resting at the safe area known as Fairy Square. Furthermore, I want to inspect all the new gear collected from Goma, and am thinking of finishing up any other miscellaneous tasks I can get done here.

So if she proposes to take care of the laundry, I’m more than thankful. With the premise of distribution of labour, I think it’s fine to help myself to Futaba-san’s good will.

“Thanks, I’ll leave it in your hands”

“Okay! So uhm, Momokawa-kun… I’ll do your shirt too, so take it off”

Actually I’ve already finished bathing in the fountain before Futaba-san. Though I say bathing, it’s not like I got in there shoulder deep or anything.

This is also our drinking water, so not risking any pollution to the water, I had agreed beforehand with Futaba-san that we wouldn’t put the body in. At any rate, even without such rule-making, we wouldn’t dip into such cold water in the first place.

Thus the proper bathing technique here would generally be, wetting a towel and using that to wipe down the body. We had no bucket to pail out water, and had to make use of an empty 500ml plastic bottle.

Anyway, at this place, we could only manage washing off a minimum level of dirt. Luckily, both me and Futaba-san had brought along a sweat towel along with our gym clothes, so there was no situation of having no towel, or otherwise, shared usage.

Like that, having done my bath, I had changed into my spares… but I mustn’t forget. My gym clothes, specifically the shirt part, was given to the Armor Bear. I clearly witnessed it making ribbons of my gym top with a single slash.

That being the case, what remained to my possession was a single pair of gym pants. Leaving my upper body exposed would be too unnerving, so reluctantly I put my dirty shirt back on, but if she’ll wash it, then I need to take off.

“Yeah, alright”

With not an ounce of embarrassment, I take off my shirt and hand it towards Futaba-san.

Myself being a man, having my upper half naked was not shameful. Well, exposing such a twiggish figure could be considered embarrassing in another sense, but it wasn’t like I was a woman and would naturally form a handbra in this situation. I am often mistaken as a woman, but inside it’s all raw, unadulterated man. A young man in highschool surging in pheromones.

“Y-yea…”

Nevertheless, if Futaba-san stares at my upper body with that much of a feverish gaze, even I’ll get embarrassed.

Fuh, M’lady, does a man’s body pique your curiosity? or some other line from a hardboiled dude wont be coming out of my mouth.

“Futaba-san, is there, uhm, something on me?”

Saying something like “Is there something on my face?” just made it even more awkward. The hell do you mean something on you! I thought, but then realized that under such an incomprehensible fixed stare of a girl, I can’t help but ask it like that.

“Ah! So-sorry… Uhm, the scar on your neck, isn’t, gone yet, I thought…”

“Eh, Ahh, you mean this”

O-oh man, just a bit more and, Can it be, Futaba-san, she has fallen prey to my physique? I’d have misunderstood. I thought there was no way, but yup, there’s no way.

“Well it’s not like it hurts anymore, it’ll heal up one of these days, so don’t worry about it”

This wound on my neck is from the time the rampaging Futaba-san bit onto me. She says she remembers what happened, and it’s about this gentle girl, so it isn’t hard to imagine she’s terribly concerned about me, an ally, being injured.

With Pain Return, she got the same wound on herself, but thanks to Blessed Body it’s been healed only on her end, is probably also making it awkward.

“I’m truly, sorry… There definitely, won’t be a next time”

Finally, with a slightly clouded face, Futaba-san took my shirt and headed towards the fountain. She had no more words for me. No more words, for this gym pants only, undie-less me.

Ah, she’s doing all the laundry meaning, under those gym clothes, Futaba-san’s also, got nothing on!

“Sigh… on to the meds”

Dispelling the devil, for now , I went back to medication manufacture.

________________________

[1] It’s that pun again, 天職 (vocation) 転職(change), both are said tenshoku

[2] Misogyny… I’m actually not sure. Probably refers to 1-dimensional characters you can’t really respect, regardless of gender.

[3] A useless link, The other 2 treasures are TV and fridge. Think treasures = modern convenience~

[4] Being Momokawa is suffering ;_;7 (lol)

[5] baka, hmph! the works… it’s tsundere talk desu.