It's Not Easy Making Money in the Apocalypse

"Hey, daddy…" A girl in a fur coat purred, winking at me. "You sure you don't want me to make you feel good?"

"I'm fine, and I told you girls not to call me that," I responded as I walked passed her into the building.

She let out a chuckle, but otherwise let it go. As I entered the building, I could hear various depraved sounds down the hallway. There was a naked man who poked his head out the door when he heard the door slam. A long arm wrapped around him and a girl pulled him back into his room.

I walked in the other direction away from the long hallway of rooms. I knocked twice on a locked metallic door.

"Passcode?" A gruff voice asked.

"Freedom," I responded.

After a moment of pause, there was a click and the door opened. A large man was standing there who nodded my way.

"Boss."

I nodded back and entered the room. About four bandits were sitting in the room, talking energetically. One of them was the original leader of the gang I had started working with. The others were promising recruits that had done their job well and thus I was allowed to rise into roles of leadership.

"I found our Rosey was working for us today." One of the men was saying. "They used to call her Roadknees Rosey 'cause her knees were always scrapped up from kneeling on the road giving hea- ah boss!"

One of the other guys had nudged him, and he had immediately stood as did the other three men.

"Continue," I responded, walking over to the fridge.

"Ah, well, I remember getting… tricks from her for small crystals. I found out now she's charging 10 large crystals an hour. I can't even believe it's the same pus… ah… goods."

The men had gotten it in their heads that I didn't like swearing. It probably was because I ended up shooting the kneecaps out from a guy who was disrespecting the women. He was treating them all like trash, and he needed to go. I shot out his kneecaps and told him he should watch his tongue. Some of my guys got it in their minds I was hinting to them to cut out his tongue. After that, everyone desperately tried to use polite language around me. I didn't care either way, but I decided not to correct their assumptions.

"I have to say, Boss." One of the other men turned to me. "I thought you were crazy when you had us go get makeup and outfits. Some of the guys were saying dressing these girls was like putting makeup on a pig."

"The girls are hardly so ugly," I responded softly while still staring into the fridge.

Ugly girls were working the streets too, but I only picked the ones that were pretty enough. In fact, because of our superior treatment, I had end up claiming all the pretty girls. It had become a monopoly. Bandits could either pay our prices or rummage with severely disfigured women. It made it even easier to jack up the prices.

Of course, I had used other strategies as well. We had cleaned up and even put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and floor. They got beds with clean sheets. The girls showered regularly as well as applied makeup and wore classy dresses. I also limited how many people they could see a day. That one had met a lot of pushback. They couldn't understand why I wouldn't rent their bodies without stopping as long as there was money.

The women themselves had more energy and were more enthusiastic when they could pace themselves. Furthermore, by limiting how many people they say, I increased their value exponentially. Men couldn't just get a girl. He had to schedule an appointment and she'd see him on her turn. If he acted up, his appointment could get canceled. Anyone who wanted to kick up a fuss didn't just have to deal with my people who had started to protect the girls like gold, but any fans of the ladies.

Girls who had once been abused, cheated, and treated like gutter trash were suddenly the coveted beauties of the Cock and Balls. The institution had grown so popular that other clans had heard about Cock and Ball beauties and wanted to rent out the girls or at least get a day membership to visit them. None of that even spoke to the amount of money we had been taking in. Very little of it translated to points, however.

I closed the fridge, a drink in my hand. Naturally, I would never drink anything left in that half-radioactive fridge, but I had used the fridge as a pretense to bring out a bottle of my water. Most of the bandits weren't observant enough to notice the fridge didn't contain any bottles like it, and the rest were at least willing to keep their mouths shut. I took a few sips, glad I didn't have to drink the radioactive water that was being pumped out of this place.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

As happy as these women were, those shows gave them a few rads every time. I considered giving them radiation medicine, but even these profits weren't enough to buy an infinite supply. Instead, I focused on RegenX and drugs that would help keep them attractive and working. In ten or twenty years, they might be as mutated as the ugly girls on the streets, but that wasn't my problem.

My heart did hurt a little, but I forced myself to harden it. I had to remind myself daily that these people weren't my friends, but a means to an end. These were all Cock and Balls bandits. In other circumstances, I would shoot them dead, and they would do the same for me. Heck, if they knew what kind of stuff I had sitting in my digitizer, many of them would try to kill me regardless of my current standing in the clan. After all, even if I was extremely rich and popular, I was just rich and popular for an initiate, the lowest clan member.

There was another knock on the door. Our doorman walked up to it again.

"Passcode."

"Um… Boss, a Lieutenant is asking for you."

I looked at the doorman. "Let them in."

As the door opened, the four guys immediately cleared the table. A tall man wearing sunglass and a black suit walked in. Among the other bandits, he looked somewhat sophisticated. My four leaders immediately made themselves scarce, as did the one who led the Lieutenant to me. The door closed, and I was alone with this man.

That was as far as their loyalty went. Depending on what happened here, they'd grab what they could and flee. A Lieutenant showing up at an initiate's place was usually a bad thing. It meant he had done something to displease Marsh. I didn't let my nervousness get to me though. Instead, I considered my escape options.

"You're the one they call Kid, right?"

I winced at that name. I'm not sure how that name came to be. Jacques had called me kid during our initiation, and somehow, someone had gotten a hold of it. I couldn't call myself Dan though. There was a risk I'd be recognized. Thus, Kid was as good of a name as any.

"Yeah, I'm Kid," I responded.

"You've been here two weeks, and you've made quite a splash." He walked around the room, his finger wiping the table like it had dust on it before he wiped on his pants with a displeased look.

"Just trying to make my mark," I responded.

"You've made a lot of money off of Balls and Cock acolytes and even a few lieutenants."

"We had lieutenants?" I was a bit surprised by that.

"They wear disguises." He responded. "Wouldn't be good if one of Marsh's chosen is seen in a place like this."

I gave him a side look. "You're… in a place like this."

"You haven't been following the mission."

"The mission?" I blinked.

"Cock and Balls mission, you're supposed to be bringing in supplies. You haven't sold anything to the vendors since you've gotten here. Everything you've gotten you've used… to improve the lives of initiates." He almost said initiates as the word disgusted him.

"I wasn't aware that selling things to the vendors was a requirement. I do provide a service…"

He waved his hand dismissively. "It isn't required to sell anything, but those in the Cock and Balls must contribute to the Cock and Balls. You don't do anything. You just take what Cock and Balls already had and dress it into new packaging. If you wish to go anywhere in Cock and Balls, then you must contribute in one way or another, yet you've not completed a single request from the mission board."

"I'm sorry, I was focused on other things. I'll make sure to take on a mission shortly."

"You do that." He responded, tossing something on the table. "I wouldn't want the other guys thinking they can slack off."

I looked down at the item on the table. It was a badge. My eyes widened.

"Acolyte? You're promoting me?"

"It's not my idea." He responded defensively. "I got orders from Marsh. He says he likes an entrepreneur, whatever that means. Just take your badge and shove it up your ass."

I didn't mind his harsh words. It sounded like I had succeeded. I had gotten noticed by Marsh. Just one more rank to go.