It's Not Easy Making Money in the Apocalypse

There was a bang of a pistol and a bullet ricochet off of some metal. I ducked down, holding my hands up.

"Woah! It's me! I'm returning!"

I heard the annoyed click of a tongue and the sound of a gun being holstered. "You're late!"

"The sun isn't over the horizon yet!" I responded, peeking out to make sure another bullet wasn't going to be sent my way.

A familiar fiend was standing there. Jacques looked my way and smiled. Pick gave an annoyed snort.

"Well, get your ass over here. It's not common we have three returns. Unless you don't have any tech, in which case you can fuck off."

"I have tech!" I declared, walking out with my hands still up.

It was only when I was in the room that reached awkwardly into my coat and dropped a few items. I was relieved to see that there were two other piles not much bigger. Rex walked over and picked through the items.

"This is everything you got?" he demanded.

"It's all I could bring!" I cried out defensively. "It was crazy out there. I barely made it back alive."

"Eh… I guess it's a pretty decent haul." He muttered, picking up all the items and bagging them. "Normally, who brings the most wins, but since only three of you returned, then I guess you're it."

I let out a sigh of relief while Jacques laughed and then slapped my shoulder. "Not bad… you left me worried there for a bit. Kind of waiting until the last second, huh?"

"I had some difficulty." I coughed. "With some of our old friends."

He let go and held up his hands. "What happens in the wasteland, stays in the wasteland. Besides, no one there was a friend of mine. Except you, of course."

He winked at me, but I believed his words as much as I believed anything he had ever told me.

"If we're in, then take us." Pick stated darkly.

The fiend growled. "Hold your horses! That was just the initiation. Do you think it's that easy?"

I couldn't help but let out a sigh. After everything, we still weren't in? Just who the hell did they think they were? There wasn't even anything the Cock and Balls could offer me that I couldn't obtain better on my own. I even started to think that this guy was starting to look feral. Jacques seemed to pick up on my agitation.

He nudged me and nodded toward the direction the fiend went. "Let's see what's next."

I took a breath and nodded, and the pair of us followed behind Pick as Rex lead us into a small underground path. This was part of the underground network of pipes I had once used to leave the city. This time though, the pathway seemed to be laid out with other areas directly caved in. He finally took us to the ladder and climbed up it. Pick looked at us and then rolled his eyes, climbing up behind Rex. We finally emerged in the middle of a street.

I immediately felt exposed, but I realized that there were barricades placed on either side of the street, as well as a couple of guys with guns. There was a larger barricade that spanned the entire street, and what looked to be a door allowing someone to pass into the area beyond.

"Welcome to Cock and Balls!" He declared gesturing.

I could see a sign that had been incorporated into one of the side barricades. It read "Allco Research and Development Complex."

"It's not one building…" I realized.

The Allco R&D was an entire campus. There were at least five buildings in all, surrounding a central courtyard. That courtyard was where the majority of the Cock and Balls members were allowed to stay. I could already hear them. The sound was very reminiscent of the Ascension raider meet some time back. There was a main research building that was high enough that I could see it passed the barricades. It was three floors high, true to Jacques's information. That had to be where Marsh was hiding. I took a step toward the door before I realized it.

"Get over here!" An annoyed voice from Rex called out.

I blinked to see the three of them have moved to the side of the street, in what looked like a newspaper stand embedded into the side of a building. I quickly walked over, willing myself to look casual and not embarrassed.

"Hello, beautiful. You don't have a smile for me today?" Rex asked, showing his teeth in a stretched-out terrifying look.

It took me a moment to realize he was trying to look cute. It made me want to vomit. The face on the other side didn't look much different.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Rex, do you have something for me?" they asked, looking at the other three of us.

If it wasn't for her clothing, I wouldn't even be able to tell it was a woman. Her face was just as rotten as his, and maybe the features were softer, but that's only if you looked too closely. Her voice was also raspy and hard on the ears. I didn't want to be species, but there was nothing about this desirable woman. Compared to the revenant, the fiends were hard to tolerate. At least, she didn't try to smile back.

"These are potential initiates. They've brought tech. I need you for point allocation."

"More raiders?" She responded flatly as she looked us over through her grey, lifeless eyes. "Cock and Balls has been getting pretty loaded lately."

"Marsh has his plans. Most of them are riffraff anyway, fodder for when Marsh makes his move."

He was saying that in front of us? If I was interested in Cock and Balls, I wasn't sure I could have handled this level of disrespect.

"Kid, you're going to have to work particularly hard if you want to succeed in this organization. The competition is tough." The fiend woman stated.

"Huh? Me?" I blinked, realizing she was looking at me.

I must have been frowning without realizing it.

"You still have a soft spot for the young ones, Ursa. That's why I still love-"

"Yeah, yeah, just hand over the tech." She held out her hand, blocking Rex's attempts to shower her with affectionate words.

He laughed like this was normal and then poured the items out on her table far less gently than he originally put them away. Lifted her hand and it was the first time I realized she had a Perco. She immediately freed the adapter and plugged it into the first device. She worked quickly, typing a few buttons into her device before unplugging and plugging the next device.

"2135 points." She finally finished, taking a card and then slashing it before dropping it in the place of the technology.

She slammed her window shut before we could answer any more questions.

"Wait, who gets which points?" I frowned, turning to Rex. "What even were those items and what points were they worth?"

"Those are questions you don't need to know." Rex chuckled. "By the way, an entry badge is 1000 points, so there is only enough for two of you. Of course, then you'll likely starve. Food starts at 200 points."

"You…" Pick stepped forward.

"Watch yourself." Rex glared. "You're all still disposable. I let you use one of our exchange vendors. They don't just take tech. You can also sell food, crystals, and other goods for points. Just know if you want anything around here, it needs to be points. You can try stealing, but theft is death."

With that, he turned around and walked away. It was Jacques who reached out and took the card.

"So, only two of us can enter." Pick made a face.

"I have more things I could exchange." I turned to the window.

"Forget it, kid," Jacques spoke up. "It's a… how you say… test of endurance. They want us to separate the wheat from the chaff. The vendors won't be open to us until after we decided."

"You're planning on leaving me out here." Pick declared.

"You need to prepare an escape." Jacques gave him an apologetic look. "You can start working out here. As for us, we need into that compound."

Pick made a face. "Fine… 1000 points, huh? I can get them on my own."

"B-but… we can help…" I began, but Jacques grabbed me and pulled me away as Pick turned away from us.

"It's every man for himself, remember?" Jacques said. "I'll buy you a badge, but then you're on your own. We all are."

I closed my eyes, remembering the mission. I gave Jacques a nod. He took me over to the front gate. To the side was a vending machine. However, the snacks and drinks were all pulled out of it, and in their place was a strange-looking badge. It included a rooster and a pair of balls. Jacques slid the card and then pressed the button. A badge fell out. He repeated the procedure one more time and then handed me my badge.

"Good luck, mon amis." He declared, turning to the entrance.

I lifted the badge in my hand. I guess I was officially in cock and balls now. I would need all the luck I could get.