It Seems Like My Childhood Friend Has Returned

#39

With a smile saying, “See you tomorrow,” I said goodbye to Joonu in front of our home.

Why did this ordinary yet happy daily life feel so obvious back then?

After watching Joonu enter the house, as soon as I stepped inside, all the feelings I had been holding back surged like waves, and I leaned my back against the door.

As I lightly placed my trembling hand on my chest, I could feel my heart pounding non-stop.

— I really came back.

Closing my eyes and slowly inhaling, the bright smile of Joonu, who had just been in front of me, vividly came to mind.

The fact that I could see that smile once more and that such a miracle had happened to me filled me with overwhelming emotion and happiness from deep within.

— I miss you.

Even though we just parted.

I wanted to see Joonu.

So much that I had an urge to lock him up and keep him by my side for life.

#40

I quickly washed up and stepped out of the house.

I usually prefer taking my time in the shower, but… since Joonu tends to wash up quickly.

Wanting to see him even a little bit sooner, I hurriedly got ready and left the house.

Destination… without a second thought, Joonu’s house.

Beep beep beep beep—

Entering the password that Joonu’s mom had told me to use to come and go freely, I gently opened Joonu’s room door, but he wasn’t there.

Is he still in the shower? I thought as I headed towards the bathroom and heard the sound of water swoosh-ing down.

He’s still washing up.
…Would he be mad if I go in?

Hesitating at the door for a moment on whether to enter or not, I decided to hold back for now.

Instead, I slowly walked into Joonu’s room and was greeted by a familiar, refreshing scent.

They say boys’ rooms are usually messy, but Joonu’s room has always been tidy every time I visit—maybe his mom cleans up, or perhaps Joonu does it himself.

As I glanced around Joonu’s room, I finally noticed his bed.

He must’ve woken up without having time to tidy it up, as traces of Joonu were still left all over the bed.
— Just the way I like it.

With no one around, I found myself glancing around as if I were checking if someone was there, and cautiously lay down on the bed. Joonu’s scent enveloped me warmly.

“Sigh….”

It felt as if Joonu was right next to me. I buried my face in the sheets and inhaled deeply, reveling in the joy when I suddenly heard the sound of the door creaking open.

Startled, I turned to the door and saw Joonu coming in, his wet hair being dried with a towel.

— He didn’t see me… right?

I anxiously wondered if he had seen my face buried in the sheets, but thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. Joonu asked when I had arrived.

Feeling a wave of relief, I thought back to the experience I had just gone through, and it had ended up being more satisfying than I had imagined.

As I secretly fiddled with the corner of the blanket and pillow, I tucked away the thought of sneaking back in next time.

I looked forward to the day we would lie together.

#41

When I asked Joonu to show me the adult video we saw yesterday, he blocked me with a flustered expression.

I hate it.

It’s not like I’m not here.

Joonu tightly clasped my hand, as if genuinely troubled and unable to get up.

Holding his large, warm yet slightly rough hand, I couldn’t help but feel he was a guy, and I secretly fiddled with his fingertips, feeling a sense of small satisfaction.

I wanted to hold on tighter, but fearing I might not be able to let go, I eased my grip a little, and Joonu lost his balance, falling towards me as if it were in slow motion.

…Huh?

Thud—

The moment Joonu’s big hand firmly gripped my chest, it felt like time stopped.

In that sudden situation, a slight pain and the intense sensation at the point of contact spread through my body like electric shocks.

My face turned hot from the unexpected incident, and my heart raced wildly.

When I looked up, Joonu, seemingly startled as well, quickly pulled his hand away from my chest with wide-open eyes.

— Ah….

If only this moment could last a little longer…

The warm heat left where we had touched felt as if it was still firmly caught in his hand.

Though I felt a bit regretful, seeing Joonu’s genuinely apologetic face filled with surprise and worry made me smile instinctively.

Silly.

You don’t have to apologize or look so flustered.

Everything about me is yours anyway.

Rather than being angry, I was only genuinely happy.

I comforted Joonu, who seemed to be worried about whether I was upset.

When I asked him how it felt, the silly expression he made while saying it drove him crazy filled me with relief and happiness, causing a smile to bloom on my lips.

It was an unexpected accident, but wasn’t it okay as long as we were both happy?

— I’m glad you like me.

Even though it was just an accident and only a moment,

Soon, I’ll give you all of me forever, Joonu.

Until that time…

#42

Joonu said he’d delete adult videos if his future girlfriend didn’t like them.

Joonu.
You know what you said, right?
I hope you keep that promise.

#43

After a fun time, I returned home, already missing Jئون who had just been with me.

Thinking it’d be better if I just fell asleep and woke up to see Joonu again, I hurriedly washed up and lay on a cozy bed instead of that uncomfortable hospital bed.

As I laid on the bed alone, I suddenly felt it was too big, and a sense of loneliness crept up in my heart.

I hadn’t thought like this before.
— Joonu, it’s your fault.

I pouted at Joonu in my heart, but all it did was grow my longing even more.

The warmth left from Joonu’s touch on my fingertips and the pleasantly charming laughter echoing in my ears.

And… the feeling of that moment still felt electrifyingly hot.
……I miss you.

The more I thought about Joonu, the stronger my longing grew, and I decided I couldn’t let it stay like this, forcing myself to sleep by pulling the blanket up to my head.

And the moment I closed my eyes,
I suddenly thought.

What if all of this is just a dream?
Am I still trapped in that hell?

A small sprout of unease blossomed within me, growing from a sprout to a flower.
From a flower to a tree. The uneasy thoughts became fertilizer and bore the fruit of fear, making my body tremble.

With ominous thoughts swirling around in my head, I felt increasingly anxious and scared.

I wanted to call Joonu right away to hear his gentle voice and find reassurance.

But what if I really wake up from a dream?
What if all of this disappears?
God.
Please.
I wouldn’t mind if it’s a dream.
If it’s a dream… please let me never wake up.

I prayed fervently in my heart, tossing and turning all night on the bed.

#44

…Ah.

I woke up to sunlight coming into the room.

I was awake, but afraid to open my eyes.
What if the view I see is the hospital room?

Taking a big breath, I opened my eyes just a little, just barely squinting. Thankfully, the sight was my familiar room.

…Thank you.
Thank you so much for hearing my prayer….

Realizing it wasn’t just a momentary dream, the first thing I wanted to hear was Joonu’s voice.

Struggling to lift my heavy eyelids, I barely opened my eyes, waved my hand to find my phone, and pressed the call button for [Joonu♡] at the top of my contacts.

Ringing—

“Hello?”

Joonu.
Just hearing your voice right now makes me feel so relieved and happy… you don’t know how much.

I felt like tears would burst forth and my nose tingled, but I held it back.
I didn’t want Joonu to be surprised if I cried like I did yesterday.

I wanted to show Joonu only a happy side of me.

#45

As if trying to reward myself for the anxiety experienced last night, I happily walked to school side by side with Joonu from the morning.

But Joonu seemed different from usual.

For some reason, perhaps due to the events of the previous day, I felt him glancing at my chest… furtively.

…Does Joonu really think he can hide it?
Though I tried not to make it obvious, sadly, it was too obvious, and he looked cute.

Silly.
You can just look openly.
Recalling his clumsy yet cute demeanor made me smile unconsciously.

As I continued to think about Joonu, I suddenly wanted to see him again. Turning around to check Joonu’s spot, I found an empty chair without him.

Where did he go?
When I sent a message asking, “Where are you?”, Joonu replied he was at the store with his friends.

Che, you should be with me!
I know that thinking Joonu should only be with me is unreasonable.
But still… I couldn’t help but want him to only stay with me.

As I expressed my disappointment silently, suddenly I heard an irritated voice from the adjacent group.

“Ugh, I said I don’t want to…!”
“No, come on, just play once! I’ve got great fun for you, why are you being such a hassle?”
“What? Hassle? Hey, don’t come here and keep making a fuss when I said I don’t want to…!”

Hearing the exchange between a friend and an unfamiliar boy, I couldn’t help but wonder why he was still bothering her after she said she didn’t want to. When I looked closer, it felt like my heart sank.

With brown hair and a disreputable face and behavior.
I didn’t know his name, but no. I didn’t want to accidentally know it.

He was one of those boys who walked around in gang-like groups, making noise.
Before, I thought they were just foolish kids but now that made me feel different.

Since I recognized the group’s traits from what I heard from Dad, I knew he belonged to the same crowd.

Deep within my heart, anger boiled up, and I bit my lip.

I wished to make him disappear from my sights quickly, yet this fool wouldn’t stop talking to his friend, oblivious to the situation.

Trash should be
— thrown away.

“…Hey.”
“Oh, just once…! Huh, what’s this? Han Seo-ah, are you interested? Wanna join?”

As I took a step closer to say something, his delighted face disgusted me.

— Gross.

How dare you, a hormonal piece of trash, approach Joonu.

“Can you get lost right now?”

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