Isekai Terry: Tropes of Doom (An Isekai Adventure Comedy)

"I wasn't going to—" Kelima started, but a stern look from Terry shut that down.

Yet, the noble girl was saved from additional chastisement by Dusk. The kitten, who had slept through the wild run through the forest, dropping into an ominous hole, being teleported, and Terry killing a bunch of goblins, finally woke up. She crawled out of Terry's pack and onto his shoulder. Yet, the very moment she caught sight of the glint from whatever was farther down the corridor, she was off like a shot.

"No!" shouted Terry, but the kitten was undeterred.

She pounced on the nearest one and began batting it around. Even as he dashed toward Dusk, he braced for something truly terrible to happen. When he reached the kitten, though, no doom descended. The floor was littered with a bunch of small green gems, one of which the kitten batted away, just to pounce on it immediately. Terry looked around warily and counted down in his head from ten. He just had a feeling that if something bad was going to happen, it would happen within ten seconds. When he reached the count of zero, he heaved a relieved breath. He looked back to where Kelima was shaking her head at him. There was so much unspoken disapproval in that small gesture that she might as well have been screaming at him. Terry handled it with all the dignity he could muster.

"What?" he asked.

"Unbelievable," said Kelima as she stalked down the corridor toward him. "After you just told me not to chase after the shinies."

"I didn't go running after the shinies. I went running after my cat in a bid to save her life if she needed me to. Entirely different things," he finished, lifting his chin a little.

"I can't believe you made it to the end of all that with a straight face."

"Me neither. That was a lot of bullshit to spout without cracking," said Terry, as he idly toed one of the crystals. "What are these things anyway?"

"You don't know?"

"Why would I know?"

"You seem better informed about dungeons than I am."

"Only in general. There are different kinds of dungeons, and they offer different kinds of rewards. For example, in some dungeons, you can harvest parts from the things you kill or take their weapons. In other kinds of dungeons, you can't take anything out with you. So, if you find something, you have to use it while you're in the dungeon, or it's just a loss. At least, that's how I think they work. So, these might just be semi-precious stones that you can sell. I mean, they came from goblins, which are bargain basement monsters at the best of times. So, I don't have high hopes."

They're source stones, said other-Terry.

What the hell is a source stone? Terry mentally asked.

Eh, it's kind of a catch-all term for stones that contain magic. People like Kelima can absorb them to get stronger.

Can I absorb them?

Terry got a distinct feeling that the magical construct that lived in his head was making a hand-waggling gesture.

You can, but you probably don't want to do it too much. Maybe just grab the boss stones.

Why?

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You're more of a cultivator. Kelima has a core, but it's different than yours. It's meant to absorb the kind of magic that's in those stones. For you to use it, you'd have to absorb it, and then your body and core would have to… Oh, what's the right way to describe it? Back in your world, in the early days of automobiles, they used leaded gasoline. Then, they started making unleaded gasoline. If Kelima's core is meant to take leaded gasoline, your core is meant to take unleaded gasoline. Basically, you'll need to filter out all of the lead. It means that you won't get as much out of them as she would, and your core and body will have to work harder to get it. Plus, you'll get the cultivator equivalent of indigestion. It's manageable but not especially comfortable.

So, I should just let her have all of them.

Good God, no! Are you trying to kill her? She can make progress here, but there are limits to how much she can absorb. You ever put air in a balloon?

Sure, thought Terry.

You ever put too much air into a balloon? What happened?

It popped.

Exactly.

Kelima will explode! Terry thought-shouted at other-Terry.

There was a long pause before other-Terry said, You are an oddly literal person at times. No, Kelima won't explode. Her core will explode.

Oh, thought Terry.

Then, Kelima will explode like an overfilled meat balloon.

Seriously?

No.

You're an asshole, thought Terry as he reached down and picked up one of the green gems.

He turned it over in his fingers for a few seconds but found nothing especially interesting about its appearance. He could feel some kind of power in it, though. It wasn't like the power he got out of the cores he harvested from the forest monsters. He couldn't quite explain the difference, even to himself. The best he could come up with was that it was flavored differently. Shaking his head, he tossed it to Kelima.

"Here. Try to absorb this the way you did with those cores."

She took one look at the stone and threw it back.

"You try to absorb it," she demanded, suspicious writ large on her features. "I'm not here for you to experiment on."

Terry was about to tell her to stop whining, but then thought better of it. He'd just said he didn't know what the stones were. Sure, he'd gotten an explanation from the AI…

Not an AI! shouted other-Terry.

Terry rolled his mental eyes. Sure, he'd gotten an explanation from the "magical construct," but he couldn't really explain that part to Kelima. He thought that over for a second. That was a lie. He could explain it. He just didn't want to. It would take so much talking, and she'd have endless questions he either couldn't or wouldn't answer. Plus, there were too many downsides to disclosing the existence of the construct. That was assuming she didn't just think he was crazy…well, she already thought that. He wasn't on a mission to convince her that he was crazier.

Still, looking at things from her point of view, the suggestion she try to absorb the gem wasn't a good look for him. It did sound like he was trying to run some half-baked experiment with her as the sacrificial guinea pig. So, unless he was going to read her into the entire situation with other-Terry, he was just going to have to go first. Shrugging, he held the stone in the palm of his hand and focused. It burst into a puff of green mist that swiftly seeped into his hand. As soon as that magical energy got inside of him, he understood what the construct had meant about it being uncomfortable. Terry felt like he'd dumped some very hot water straight into his veins.

Fortunately, there wasn't a lot of power in that small stone. So, it didn't take long for his body and core to filter out the stuff he couldn't use. When Kelima lifted an eyebrow at him, he looked down to see a dark haze wafting off his skin. That must be my body expelling the stuff I can't use, he mused. Reaching down and picking up another stone, he held it out to Kelima.

"It's magic," he told her. "You should be able to absorb it."

She eyed him, then the gem, and reluctantly reached out to take it.

"How sure are you about this?" she asked.

It was a surprisingly reasonable question coming from the girl who had blithely walked into some ancient ruins and started touching things.

"I'm sure," said Terry.

Giving him one last suspicious look, she held the stone. He watched as it puffed into mist and absorbed into her body. There was a heartbeat or two before her eyes went wide. Then, she held out her arm and stared at it. When nothing happened, she gave her arm a shake.

"What are you doing?" asked Terry.

"Why didn't I start smoking like you did?"

"Oh, that. I'm just more awesome than you."