Isekai Speedrun

When we finally reached the autorail tunnel leading to Hidden Valley, we had spent several days crossing the mountains.

The entrance was at the root of a cliff, hidden behind a thick wall of vines, bushes and shrubs. We had to spend some time trimming the vines.

“So, what do you think this looks like?”

“A tunnel through the mountain. I can see the a dot of light at the end.” (Rain)

Ah, Rain answered with the same line she said in the anime. How nostalgic.

“Exactly, but that's just an illusion. Well, the light at the end of the tunnel is the light from the other side of this mountain and if you simply walk through the tunnel, you come out from the other side without entering the Hidden Valley. But the tunnel is actually a rail system built by Strangers... Crys and Kimono, are you fine going in? This autorail doesn't need a skeleton key, the mechanism is simply a hidden lever on the wall.”

“It is fine.” (Crys)

“Okay, good. Open Sesame. Rain, when I pull the lever, the tunnel itself will start moving, so don't freak out. It feels strange, but it's not dangerous.”

Crys, Kimono and Dancer knew what to expect, but Rain didn't.

I used my light card to find the right spot, pulled the hidden lever inside a wall cavity and then scratched a V-sign next to the cavity while waiting for the effect to kick in.

When Revolution Movement members come here in the future and start using the valley as a base, they can just look for the V-sign to find the lever.

“Wait for it, ride starts about... now.”

The tunnel shook and the ground below us started moving along with the walls. The light at the end of the tunnel faded and the tunnel turned into an autorail of somewhat cruder design. Dark, curved web of metal replaced the tunnel ceiling and transparent, curved windows replaced the tunnel walls.

This autorail was shorter and smaller than the one we used at Ur. It normally moved south-north instead of east-west and the Halfway Station was actually a delightfully picturesque Tyrolean-style village.

In the game, you had to talk to several NPCs to collect a map that existed only as fragments in their dialogue to find the Hidden Valley. A rather time-consuming process.

“...The floor is moving. How?” (Rain)

“The tunnel itself is like a train moving on tracks. You probably saw the Reignland monorail when Tze took you to the City of the Sun back then, right? Do you remember it?”

“...I don't know.” (Rain)

“Well, this autorail is similar to that, but it's made to look like a regular mining tunnel. We already used autorail like this back in the Ur Continent before we came to the Mu Continent. Relax, we'll get back outside soon.”

“You are not able to enter the Hidden Valley by walking through the tunnel, no?” (Crys)

“Yeah, you either have to ride the rail or you walk right through without a clue. And even if you reach the valley by climbing over the Sharp Mountains, the tunnel is just a solid wall on that side and you're trapped, so you'll end up feeling confused by the unexplained black magic trickery. Climbing the steep cliffs is pretty much impossible without climbing gear, and since we don't even have a swami belt – well, our on-sight lead Kimono might be able to do it, but there's no need to take that route.”

As the autorail moved deeper, the light at the end of the tunnel slowly increased. It felt like moving through transparent veil or smooth waterfall into a different world.

In the anime, Rainwoman came to Hidden Valley with Spehir Spyrox – the real wandering mercenary Spehir Spyrox, mind you, not the fake leader character Crys invented for his propaganda pamphlets and just used his name because it sounded cool.

It was a common error to mix up those two because the anime filler episodes took stuff from Crys' imaginary propaganda stories and turned them into actual episodes. That was the reason why some of the later filler episodes had a considerably different tone from the rest of the series.

According to staff interviews, the filler episodes were partially fleshed out by sub-contracted writers under the main writer, who himself struggled under heavy pressure from studio and viewers. It seemed that the showrunner was frustrated because he couldn't write everything according to his dreams, so he approved the imagined content by sub-writers and based them on his notes about Crystal Pencil's pamphlets he claimed he had read in his dreams – propaganda dreams within prophetic dreams.

These parts were mostly left out of the game story arcs, although all the locations were included, and other than these half-canon fillers, there were also “light canon” fillers in the anime – like the beach episode where students of the Inside Out School went to visit the Black Beach area. And there was even a weird school festival episode where the students shot fireworks and had a hide-and-seek competition in the Black Forest.

All school comedy anime tropes were used in some twisted, deconstructed forms.

Anyway, what I was worried about was that the Hidden Valley of this world seemed quite different from the one I saw in the anime and game.

The valley itself was in the right place, but the abandoned village inside had a different atmosphere. Houses were larger and in different places, the lake was smaller and had a different shape, the hills looked flatter, and the clear-cut fields were actually filled with weeds.

The showrunner was known to be a perfectionist to the point of insanity when it came to approving design details, but this place seemed like an exception that verified that rule. I could recognize the place, but at the same time it looked like landscape painted by a different artist.

“Welcome to the lost valley, ladies and gentlemen. Stay alert, there might be something unexpected here after all.”

The autorail stopped on a raised platform on the edge of the valley.

When I looked back, I saw only solid rock. The way out of this valley was to use the autorail again and travel forward to the northern entrance, or climb the spike-shaped peaks that surrounded the valley; the ugly Don't Look Down strat.

“...How can a tunnel be a train? Does it disappear from the other side too when it moves?” (Rain)

“No, the tunnel entrance actually still stays on the other side, the illusion of a straight tunnel is still maintained outside the valley. It's Stranger's technology, that's the only answer I can give.”

I was surprised by how confused Rain was. She didn't ask this much questions about anything in the anime. The drugs really ruined her personality.

We stepped out of the autorail and quickly checked the environs of the quiet village. Rather than Tyrolean, this place looked like a small Japanese valley village abandoned by its inhabitants very recently. Everything was neat and serene, no signs of battle or plague.

It was spookily different, but the eight-sided watchtower at the other side of the valley was exactly the same as in the game and in the right place at least.

And since the autorail was a fast travel mechanism, sun was shining in the valley. It would take a while for the dark clouds to catch up with Rain again.

“What happened to the people who lived here? Who were they?” (Crys)

“Well, the common theory was that some privileged farming slaves used by Strangers on their experiments lived here, and when Strangers disappeared, the people just walked away. Or maybe the Strangers took the inhabitants with them, wherever they went. But it's a mystery really.”

“Another slave cage made of gold...” (Kimono)

“Yeah, that's probably it. You can also find several Strangers artifacts here... But they belong to a museum!”

My sudden declaration was met with confused and exasperated gazes.

“Sorry, I just wanted to test if there was a good echo in the valley...”

“What are you doing? You just said there might be unexpected things here, idiot.” (Kimono)

“Uh, well, I don't think there's any enemies, but don't trigger rolling balls on sloped corridors.”

“...There are traps here? Is this a dungeon?” (Rain)

“No, I was just trying to make a weird joke. Sorry again.”

“Idiot.” (Kimono)

“Sorry for being an idiot. But be careful with what you find in the houses because this place is a bit different from how I remember it. In any case, we don't need to kick the doors and break furniture, okay? Just search the house normally.”

“...Why are you looking at me?” (Rain)

“No reason. Ahem, that big three-story house at the center is where we should spend the night, that's the safest bet. There should be good rations and wine in the cellar, and there are some easy-to-carry treasure items made of Räumveld gold we can sell for considerable amount of krúricks.”

“Kimono, lead the way.” (Crys)

“Yes, brother.” (Kimono)

Kimono walked at the front and Rain held Sorry Man's hand at the back. We went up the path leading to the central house at the top of the hill.

This one was a nice, French Colonial style building with a veranda and a gable roof – the kind of house you'd expect to see in the middle of a New World cotton plantation.

“This valley would be a good place for a home base.” (Crys)

“Exactly so, you said the same thing in the future. But it's not going to work as is, because Caliph's soldiers will find this place soon after they hire a mercenary called Lightning Hunter to work as their guide. You can use this autorail without skeleton key, after all.”

In the anime, the character called Lightning Hunter found this place quite easily because Rainwoman was here. Without Rainwoman's curse, it might work as a side base for a while, but it needs some urban renewal to work as a permanent base.

“Starfish Mansion is still a much better place for us. We should just take what we need from here, have a full rest and continue our journey.”

“We could kill the Lighting Hunter, if he's the reason they find this place.” (Crys)

“Well, that's one near-term solution. They'll probably find this place eventually even without him. But I totally understand why you would want to stay here. It reminds you of your home territory, right?”

“True, this place reminds me of Violin Valley. A shame.” (Crys)

“Well, you and Kimono could use it as a summer cabin, maybe?”

I gave a meaningful glance to Kimono. She took my hint.

“Speedrun had a decent idea for once, brother. We should come here together after Caliph Tze and Suleiman are dead.” (Kimono)

“Maybe so.” (Crys)

Good job, Kimono, flag raised. I gave a thumbs up to Kimono in my mind.

I made a promise to help her, after all.

“Speedy, why are you climbing in through the window? The door is open.” (Dancer)

“It's... faster? Fine, I'll use a door like some filthy normie.”

I went straight for the windowsill route when we reached the house. I forgot that this was real life again.

---

After searching and securing the central house, and checking several other nearby houses, we concluded that there wasn't anything dangerous around.

It was the nice abandoned village I remembered, even if it looked a bit different.

Rain and Kimono went to wash themselves in the lake. They just took off their clothes and walked in the water without care.

I guess it was expected that these girls wouldn't blush from mere nudity. It was the same in the beach episode – the people of this world didn't know much about swimsuits or modesty.

Although the game had a toned down content rating, Mu-Ur Quincunx was a late night anime for a reason. There was softcore sex scenes, hard violence and hard drugs, and adult themes were taken for granted.

I watched only the uncensored version, but somehow I expected random rays of white light to appear over the significant parts of their bodies here. I suddenly felt very aware about the fact that I was a 25 year old man traveling with a bunch of people just barely over legal age.

Crys and Kimono were around 17 to 19 at this point, Rainwoman was 16 or so (although she had already lived a long life before she was born), Dancer was around 20, and Sorry Man – standing on the lake shore and staring into nothingness – looked like he was around 20 years old, although he was at least 100 years old.

“...Most unfortunate.”

It didn't help that all these characters had more real life experience than me, in many ways. And all of them could pretty much beat me in a fight.

I took a deep breath and sat down on a wooden bench beside the footpath leading to the lake. I decided to stay and enjoy the view instead of looking away embarassed like some cliché anime protagonist. I enjoy my nude women the same way I enjoy fine arts – by leaning back, taking a pretentious pose and being mindful about my own emotional reactions; what is this piece I'm looking at and what is it trying to say to me?

These girls had picked their in-universe love interests already, so this didn't mean anything.

They scrubbed themselves with the dark soap they found from the house and the lake water turned murky.

Rain had multiple scars from knives, whips and needles all over her body. Kimono had two long diagonal scars across her back and burn marks originating from the crime lord event; the kind of gruesome lesions you would see on a villain, not the type of neat lines you would see on a hero.

I wasn't aroused. Nope. Not even a bit.

So this is the kind of person I grew up to be – a troubled father watching over his adopted teenage daughters on a road trip to funfair.

This was my life now.

They were the protagonists of this world, I was just a Watson to their Sherlock Holmes – no, more like a quest-giving NPC sidekick? The mentor familiar? The guide fairy that tells protagonists where to go next when they get stuck?

If the game characters have become more like real people, have I become more like a game character?

They don't care if their fairy companion or summoned pet watches them bathe.

That reminds me, Ivorythief was nicknamed Fairy by his cell mate in the brainwashing prison episode after Thiefmaster mini-arc. That private cult prison was one strange place too, but not Strangers-type strange, so we should go for a visit some day and burn it down.

Rain and Kimono were talking, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Private girl's talk? Were they talking about boys? Hey, why are you laughing and looking at me? Kimono, did you tell Rain about the jacket I tried to buy? We agreed to not mention that embarrassing incident! Muu...

Well, the important thing is that they get along. Laugh all you want.

I made a thumbs up gesture, but they already looked away.

Dancer interrupted my wandering thoughts by sitting next to me and opening a wine bottle he found from the house cellar.

“Ah, what a beautiful sight!” (Dancer)

“You shouldn't stare my cute daughters too much. They'll scream and throw buckets at you.”

“Huh?” (Dancer)

“Well, actually, you should take a good look because you probably won't see them like this again.”

“Oh, I'll definitely look!” (Dancer)

I have a real reason to watch after them, don't get me wrong – I have to keep an eye out for Rain or she might start taking pills behind my back.

Papa won't let you become a drug addict, Rain-chan!

“Dancer, don't you drink too much alcohol either. You might want to start dancing.”

“It's just wine, Speedy.” (Dancer)

“I won't carry you to bed if you black out.”

“You really sound like an old man, old man.” (Dancer)

“Years take with a ladle, not a teaspoon. Not my words, that's what Crys said in the future.”

After the ladies finished their bath, I took a quick dip into the lake as well.

I felt like I was moulting when I scrubbed dirt of my skin. The black soap bar had a faint smell of burnt oil.

---

The night came quickly and the rain started.

Kimono prepared food for us in the kitchen, so we gathered around a dining room table and sat down to eat our first civilized dinner together.

Background muzak was provided by several wind chimes hanging in the roof of the veranda.

Rain placed Sorry Man at the end of the dining table like he was the master of the house. At least she didn't put food in front of him, that would have been too much.

“Rain, do you remember anything about the location of the dungeon where you woke up in the sarcophagus machine?”

“...No.” (Rain)

“I mean, you were young, but you were awake the whole time, so maybe... hot magma, giant bone staircase, big dark crystals? No? Do you remember what you saw when you were put in a cage and the caravan too you to Reignland? It would be helpful if you could remember even some small details. There's some stuff in that place that might be useful in the long run, if we can find where it is.”

“...When I was in the cage, I saw only sand... And I saw the shore of the ocean.” (Rain)

“Sand and sea. Good, good. Anything else? No curious rock formations, no road signs? You already knew how to read, right?”

“...It was raining.” (Rain)

“Well, there's always that.”

“By useful stuff, do you mean there are weapons in the dungeon?” (Crys)

“Oh yes. There's a Strangers flame tank down there. It's a heavily armored vehicle with tracks instead of wheels and it shoots long streams of fire.”

“Hou.” (Crys)

“Unfortunately it's in a difficult position between magma flows. Even Caliph's soldiers and slaves couldn't bring it out of there. I have some ideas about how to take a shot at it, but we need to find that place first and check if it's there...”

The Magma Dungeon aka Big Bones Dungeon. The sarcophagus machine and the flame tank were only seen as parts of cold open anime montage, so trustworthy info was scarce. Tze opened the sarcophagus machine, Rain and other Cursed Children were put in cages, they were taken to Reignland and then to the Bone Dune Station.

I remember fans speculating that Big Bones Dungeon wasn't even a proper dungeon but actually the only straight-up military installation Strangers had built in Mu-Ur. What other explanation was there for a friggin flame tank lodged between lava flows in a deep underground cavern? What purpose did it serve? Was there perhaps more high-level military vehicles there?

“Lady Rain, if you could remember this location from your youth, it would be quite helpful.” (Crys)

“...I will tell if I remember.” (Rain)

“A caravan route to Reignland, along a sand desert, near seashore. It narrows down possible locations to southern Mu.” (Crys)

“Yeah, but it's still a wide area to search. Hm, Caliph has probably set up guard stations near the dungeon at least, and there should be slaves working there if he's still trying to get stuff out, so following slave caravans and supply flows should help us narrow down possible locations...”

“Why not just destroy all of them, one by one, with those explosive sticks?” (Rain)

“Your plan is simplistic, but it's not wrong. If seemingly random army stations along the coast are destroyed using unknown explosives–” (Crys)

Yes, this is how it should be. Everyone sitting around a table having a leisure chat about flame tanks and explosions.

We need to establish that this type of dinner is a family tradition.

I have already accepted that I will continue to live in this world for the rest of my life, have I?