Isekai Speedrun

After the adrenaline rush of combat waned, Rainwoman's irritation and pain came back. She circled our temporary camp nervously and kept twiddling her revolvers. Crys and Kimono were on the edge because of her movements as well.

“Brother, I will use some our drinking water to wash.” (Kimono)

“It is fine.” (Crys)

“You, come with me.” (Kimono)

“...Why?” (Rain)

Kimono flicked her head to Rain several times. Rain was reluctant to leave Sorry Man's side, but followed Kimono outside our view eventually.

Female bonding in the bathroom, eh? Good job, Kimono. Just don't make Rain angry.

There were always two separate factions inside the Revolution Movement: the action-oriented Rainwoman faction and the planning-oriented Crystal Pencil faction. Rain, Mirim, Sorry Man and the twins were in the direct action faction; Crys, Kimono, Test Subject and Dancer were in the careful planning faction. They worked toward the same goals, but their methods and motivations were different.

This split created friction inside the movement and added another pile of forced drama into the anime, but it wasn't too bad until the final season kicked in and all the friction exploded violently on the foreground.

It was only a matter of time before those frictions would surface here, so I had to stay in the role of a mediator.

Sorry Man sat on the rock where Rainwoman left him, just staring into nothingness. He had the same thousand-yard stare as in the anime, but I knew there was a mind inside.

Okay, let's see if I can get a reaction from him.

“Elf. Elves. E-L-V-E-S...”

“What are you doing?” (Crys)

“Just checking if he turns his head... Elf. Dark elf. High elf. There are no elves here. I don't know if my words can reach you, but elves don't exist here. Not a single elf. Zero elves.”

Same as always, no reaction. I wanted to see some kind of acknowledgement at least, but I guess it was too much to ask.

There were two known invincibility glitches in the game: Fixed Invincibility Frame glitch, where your character got stuck into temporary invincibility frame, and Dorian Gray State glitch, which was similar to what in the olden times of screen gaming was called Unsleeping glitch.

In the classic Unsleeping glitch your character was in a sleep state at camp or inn, but you could still move the third-person perspective camera around and trigger dangerous events during the full rest cutscene without accumulating any damage.

But instead of that temporary Unsleeping glitch, Sorry Man was in a permanent in-universe Dorian Gray State – his hit boxes had been separated from his body and projected somewhere else. In other words, all damage to Sorry Man's body was simply ignored.

If you wanted to damage or kill Sorry Man, you had to travel to Raft Island and deal damage to the painting where Sorry Man came from.

Yep, Sorry Man was a meta-character; a walking in-universe glitch. That was actually written in his character profile flavor text in the intro screen. Most fans suspected that Sorry Man's anime backstory was retconned in the game and his meta-skills were implemented specifically as a provocation and challenge to hardcore gamers.

And just like Caliph's planned ectoplasmic immortality, Sorry Man's unplanned image immortality had a severe tradeoff: Sorry Man wasn't entirely there – literally or figuratively.

Other than that, Sorry Man's flavor text had one curious line: Likes elves.

Sorry Man came from a painting like Rukhkh-bird – from “Depiction Dimension” or “Veil World”, whatever you wanted to call it; “Curtain Cosmos”, any takers for that name? Anyway, it was speculated that Sorry Man's home world was a place where elves existed and apparently Sorry Man liked them.

Suddenly, the reaction for my gentle inquisitive action came from a different source: Rainwoman appeared out of nowhere, grabbed my collar and lifted me up.

“What are you trying?!” (Rain)

“I didn't touch him, I just tried to talk with him! Yes Sori, no touch! Sorry Man mamoritai!”

“What did you say to him?!” (Rain)

“Nothing important, I just wanted to check –“

“Do not touch him!” (Rain)

“I wasn't going to touch him! I just – Rain, listen, I know it's – ”

“What did you call him?” (Rain)

“Uh, Sorry Man?”

“...Who is Sorry Man?!” (Rain)

“O-oh, right, he was given the codename Sleepwalker back in the station. The big guy's street name in the future is Sorry Man, so...”

“What do you know about him?!” (Rain)

Rain grabbed my throat with her left hand and and drew her revolver with her right hand, but kept the barrel pointing to the ground.

“I'm not mocking him or anything! I didn't mean it like that! I'm on your side! I would never hurt Sorry Man in any way!”

“...Who are you? Why do you know about us?” (Rain)

“This might sound strange, but I'm a time traveler from the future and I know you from historical recors. I know you love Sorry Man and want to keep him safe more than anything. That's how I know about your curse, and how to hide you and Sorry Man from Caliph Tze. I only want to help you, we are on the same side.”

Rainwoman was used to supernatural-like things and powers, so sticking to my time traveler backstory should be all right.

“Are you one of the fleshsmiths?!” (Rain)

“No, definitely not one of them! I actually know you because you told me in the future yourself. When you saw Sorry Man for the first time at the station, you fell in love and you were always planning how to escape with him. We came to help you escape earlier, because you're one of us.”

Rainwoman clicked his tongue and let me go. Ah, my throat hurts. Jealousy is serious business.

I glanced at Crys and noticed that he was holding his revolver at ready. No, no, no, that's not the way to de-escalate this situation. She didn't point her revolver at me, so it's okay.

“Crys, I'm fine! Peace, peace!”

“...Why the name Sorry Man?” (Rain)

“Aah, it's actually Crys who will give that name to him in the future. Sorry Man will be the leader of the Revolution Movement, although it's just on paper.”

Rain glanced at Crys.

“I'm hearing this story for the first time as well.” (Crys)

“...Do you believe him?” (Rain)

“Occasionally.” (Crys)

Thanks, Crys, I appreciate your honesty.

“Ah, everyone, let's calm down. We all want to keep Sorry Man safe and we all want to take down Caliph Tze, right? Also, since we know the place where Sorry Man is going–”

“Where?” (Rain)

“So, if you leave him alone, he eventually turns to northeast, right? He's naturally inclined to move to the strongest, nearest anomaly zo–”

Before I could continue, Rainwoman pushed the barrel of her revolver on my forehead. Oh crap, she might actually kill me right here.

Crys and Kimono were ready for battle. This is turning into late-season anime episode fast.

“Are you a Stranger?!” (Rain)

“No, I oppose the Strangers!”

“How do you know these things?!” (Rain)

“I know because I'm from the future, I just told you! Just like I know you are followed by rain clouds! Please, this is not how this encounter is supposed to go, I can explain everything, if you just let me–”

I was sweating like crazy, or maybe it was tears I felt on my cheeks. Rain couldn't judge if people were telling the truth like Crys. She stared at me for a moment that felt like eternity.

“Where is... he... going?” (Rain)

“You mean why he tries to go northeast? He's heading to Starfish Mansion or Rukhkh Mountain, whichever is closer. He wants to touch the Rukhkh bird beak, or turn the door handle of Starfish Mansion. He's the only one who can open the invisible front door without a key.”

“...Those names don't mean anything to me. Are you one of the Cursed?” (Rain)

“No. I am kind of something similar, but I'm not one of the Cursed Children.”

“...But you know the Cursed?” (Rain)

“Yes, and I know there's only two of you alive. Your sister Mirim is a mining slave at the Wineep Dungeon. We need to get her out of there as soon as possible and then move to the Starfish Mansion.”

“...How can you know?!” (Rain)

“Because I'm a time traveler! I come from the future!”

“How?!” (Rain)

She wasn't buying my story after all. How can I make her believe me? Or, it could be that she's just venting her frustration on me and doesn't even know what she's asking. I need to guide the dialogue elsewhere.

“Listen, your first memory is waking up in a machine coffin underground, right?”

“...Did you use a coffin?” (Rain)

“No, it's -- I used a method that is far more unreliable, but... It was more of an accident in my case, really. I woke up in this world, but I had memories about all the stuff that happens in this world.”

“...Do you believe him?” (Rain)

Rain looked at Crys and Kimono again, asking the same question again. I guess she had realized that Crys was the actual leader of our group and I was just a sidekick guide.

“His head is full of trivialities, but there is true and useful knowledge within.” (Crys)

“I agree with brother. He's a weak-minded idiot, but useful.” (Kimono)

“Gee, thanks a lot for those words of confidence, guys...”

“Why... is he like he is?” (Rain)

“I'm like this because I'm a man from the–”

“Not you!” (Rain)

“...O-oh, were speaking about Sorry Man now? He's like this because Strangers do strange things for strange reasons. That's the only consensus among wild speculations, right?”

Rain's questions and emotions were skipping all over the place, but it seemed like she was calming down. She lowered her revolver away from my face. I gave a nod at Crys and he lowered his gun as well.

Crys and Kimono acted perfectly calm through our heated exchange, though. They made deals with No-Land deviants, so violent threats and extreme bluffs were the norm.

Crys had probably noticed by now that my backstory didn't completely add up, but hopefully he just shrugs off the minor inconsistencies as small bluffs from my side. But I don't know if Rainwoman is bluffing when she makes threats. I can't tell at all.

In the anime, Rain interrupted these kind of peaceful dialogue scenes several times by suddenly killing the other party. When you thought she was just giving a small warning, she actually fired his gun. Often it was because she was overwrought on drugs and had zero patience with complicated negotiations, but she didn't joke around when she pointed a gun at someone even when she was sober.

At least she kept talking and asking questions, so she probably expected answers from us.

“Do you know... what... he thinks?” (Rain)

Crap. I didn't expect that question. How should I answer?

Sorry Man was probably the most tragicomic character in the series. His backstory was explained in the anime with wide strokes, but if you solved the hidden bonus level in the game, you found out what was really going on. No way I can tell Rain the truth right now. It might be the trigger that makes Rain blow up completely.

What can I tell her? His anime origin story, but only the stuff on this side of the fence?

“I know Sorry Man doesn't think like we think. The reason for his passive attitude is that his perception of time is messed up, and the main reason for that is that he was summoned from a painting.”

Well, I just said something completely absurd again, but you don't have to look at me like I just turned into a cuckoo clock, Rain.

“...Summoned from a painting?” (Rain)

“I'm back! What did I miss?” (Dancer)

“Rain, don't shoot! He's carrying dynamite!”

Dancer returned in the camp, hauling dynamite packs on his back like a mule on a hiking trail, and Rainwoman immediately turned her revolver at him.

Dancer raised his hands in the air in confusion.

“What? Did I really miss something? You're Rainwoman, right?” (Dancer)

“...Who is this?” (Rain)

“I told you there's a fourth guy in our group. His name is Dancer. He's one of us, he's not an enemy.”

“I'm Dancer, but you can call me lord De Fault too.” (Dancer)

“No, Rain, he's not a real lord! He just likes to roleplay!”

Dammit, Dancer, read the atmosphere...

Crys clapped his hands in a relaxed manner and straightened his Inverness cape. He had kept the cape in his luggage all the way from Crumbling Shores.

“It seems there's a storm coming. Let us move forward and take shelter in the cave over there. We should eat something before we continue.” (Crys)

“Oh, fabulous idea! We should calm down and talk this over a cup of tea and snacks. Hungry people are grumpy people. And Sorry Man's clothes will get wet, if we continue this Mexican standoff too long, right?”

Rain's stomach grumbled. She silently grabbed Sorry Man's hand and started walking towards the cave.

Aww, you don't need to be embarrassed just because you made a weird sound.

“Gary, I followed the plan, did I make a mistake?” (Dancer)

“No, you did well, but don't say you're a lord anymore. Rainwoman hates High Hats. And you don't need to call me Gary anymore either.”