Isekai into Marvel/DC

“Motherfucking doombots. That means the dictator is Doctor Doom or another doombot and killing these guys won’t accomplish much.” I grabbed at one of the few items I still kept on me at all times. I decided early on that if Tony Stark was going to fight me I wouldn’t fight fairly. Besides making EMP grenades I made other magical contingencies to shut him down if the EMP grenades didn’t work.

As it explodes and the two robots fall over unmoving I laugh. “Guess Doctor Doom figured he didn’t need to shield his robots from electromagnetic pulses.” I walked over to the robots and chucked them into an isolation room in the magic wing of SHIELD. I can’t believe it was that easy to get millions of dollars worth of material just like that.

Salvaging his bots and reverse engineering them might make my magical bots that much better. Who said they had to be run on pure magic it really didn’t make sense to do that that way now that I think about it. Actually, stealing one of Ironman’s suits or designs might go a long way toward shutting his shit down. I would have to be very careful when I did try it though.

How the fuck did I go from stealing clothes to thinking about the logistics of building magical robot/golems? I should be in the Bahamas sipping girly drinks while playfully chasing after women right now. Seriously, how the fuck did I end up on a suicide mission in a third-world country while leading one of the fastest-growing wings of the military as SHIELD had started pulling in other branches of the military to learn along with them?

Harley loudly mentioned. “God, I think you bruised my cervix. Any chance you can go easy with that monster next time big guy?” Oh yea, that’s why I’m doing this stupid shit, for the women. I tease her back. “God, you put two babies in a girl and she thinks she can ask for anything.” We playfully flirted back and forth a few more times before Doctor Connors screamed at us to stop.

We made it to a little encampment full of tents and men on the outside building a wall meant to keep us out. They’d have had to start working on it hours before we were going to show up leading me to believe there was a mole. “Someone’s a traitor. Can I get everyone's phone real quick?

Most seemed hesitant to hand them over. “Obviously not you Rick, actually if you want to check they probably trust you more. I’ve kind of already killed two members.” After checking everyone's phones I had to call Amanda Waller. “So quick update. The person we’re hunting is probably a doombot, might be the real Doctor Doom, and someone in the room with you is probably funneling the enemy information since they ambushed us when we showed up.”

I thought about it more. “I’d have the guards check everyone's phones. If they’re leaking information we can feed them false info.” We sit still watching them build as we wait for what to do next from Amanda. They’re all commed up and able to talk to Waller but I didn’t have a headset and had to be told the information second hand from everyone else.

Rick took the lead and told us a plan. “Alright, looks like you were right and we were set up to die. The mission still stands, we have to fight our way to the head dictator but now it’s to gather information and projects instead of killing him.” I take a more passive role letting them handle the mission now that they’re not being overwhelmed by an informed army.

The contract lets me track Solomon and after two hours of him going berserk, I teleport to him. “You have fun Solomon.” He gave me a cheeky grin before saying. “Solomon get high score. Feeling sleepy now.” I put my hand on him and teleported us back home. “Alright, buddy get some sleep. I’ll be home to feed you in a bit so just hang out and make sure no one tries to rob us.”

Anyone stupid enough to break into my mansion was in for a big gray surprise if they did. Teleporting back into gunfire it appears the squad has been found out. They quickly mop up the small group of armed men before we make our way closer to the last known base of the dictator.

The mission had taken so long we had to sleep and I took my two new girls back to my house to get some “sleep” while the others slept in the underground bunker I made. We group back up and start making our way to the main base. Nothing important happens, we kill another squad with Savant almost killing a ten-year-old by accident but I managed to stop him. 

Seriously, look it up. Most of these 3rd world armies are mostly kids. Maybe thirty percent were adults or old enough to pass as adults and the rest were literal children. It made killing them a slog as I had to keep everyone else from murdering children by accident. About two hours from the base I get a phone call. It is someone I hadn’t really expected to ever call me again after what happened.

“This is the magical man known as Plague Doctor. How may I help you, Jessica?” The way me and Jessica met I didn’t think I’d ever get a call from her. A panicked voice came through on the other side. “Fucking something magical is going on in New York magic man. I thought you might be able to help stop the demons pouring into the streets.”

I let out a loud sigh. “Fucking damn it. There’s a demon attack in New York happening right now.” I say loud enough for the suicide squad to hear before I continue. “I guess we got to stop playing around here and actually go take the capital.” I started grabbing everyone and once I was touching them I teleported several times turning a two-hour trek into seconds of travel.

Outside the building are another six doombots flying around which I chop the heads off of while storing the bodies. Going inside is a doombot doing paperwork of all things but I notice something is wrong the moment my eyes lay upon him. Victor Von Doom was touted as one of the best magicians in the Marvel universe. That didn’t really add up to what I was seeing though.

That was clearly a doombot sitting there doing the paperwork. I sighed in relief as I didn’t have to run away since it wasn’t the real Doom. I wasn’t afraid of Doom but his plot armor would have to be close to the best. I would be worried about winning the fight and a fucking meteor randomly comes down on my head.

I could tell something was different about it than the rest. This insane man cut off a portion of his soul and pinned it inside the doombot. What a fucking moron if that’s true. The things a skilled magician can do with a part of someone else's soul far outweigh the benefits of using it this way.