NOVEL NEXT chapter 37
37
The moment I heard those words, a shiver ran down my spine.
“Wh-what…”
“Are you really going to dump me, Kou-kun? Are you really going to throw away your devoted childhood friend who has always thought about you? I think you’ll definitely regret it.”
A giggle.
I turned around quickly, and Mio was smiling with a mischievous expression, laughing happily.
“Mio…?”
Suddenly, I was struck by a strong sense of discomfort.
I didn’t know Mio who could make such a face.
No, in the first place, hadn’t she been crying so tragically just a moment ago?
“Hm? What is it?”
But what was going on with her now?
Why could she face me so calmly?
“Are you really Mio?”
I couldn’t help but ask.
I couldn’t believe that the person in front of me was the childhood friend I knew.
“Who else would I be? I’m obviously Kou-kun’s girlfriend, Mio… oh, or should I call you Beniya-kun since you’re Kou-kun’s ex-boyfriend? Maybe I should call you Kouya-kun instead.
In response to my question, Misaki chuckled.
It was an unfamiliar expression.
Alarm bells ring in my mind.
“Misaki… doesn’t make faces like that.”
“Humph. That’s a strange thing to say. Why would you assume that? Didn’t you hate it when I changed, Koya? You wouldn’t acknowledge that I’ve become capable of laughing like this.”
Misaki’s lips curled up.
It wasn’t a genuine smile, but rather a sly, mocking expression.
“What a small person.”
“W-what?”
“Oh, your face changed. What, were you bothered by it? I thought you’d be over it by now, after you inspired such pathetic things. It’s fine to say it yourself, but you don’t like it when others point it out. You’re even pettier than I thought.”
She giggled.
Misaki was making fun of me.
She was thoroughly enjoying herself, picking apart my flaws.
“That’s how you’ve always been, Koya. You hate asserting yourself, yet you can’t stand when others do as they please. You hate being disturbed, but you don’t say anything about it and just keep quiet. Are you a peacemaker? Or are you just a coward? And then, when the girl you thought was on the same level as you starts getting attention, you run away because you can’t keep up.”
“…”
“You’re really hopeless. Even when I was suffering, you never once reached out to me. I was sending out SOS signals, but you pretended not to notice. Did you think I wouldn’t realize? You were just suppressing your feelings because you didn’t want to be a bother, weren’t you?”
“…”
“And yet, you act like you’re the only one who’s been suffering. From my perspective, you’re just as selfish. You weren’t the only one who was struggling. You wouldn’t even listen to me when I tried to talk to you. If you had, Misaki wouldn’t have had to rely on Shidou. If we had both just been a little braver, this whole thing could have been over.”
“W-what…”
“…Even after all that, you’re still silent. You really hate talking things out, don’t you? Do you think everything will be over if you just stay quiet? Or is your idea of a conversation just saying whatever you want and then feeling good about yourself? How did you ever think you could have a girlfriend? You’re so selfish. The girl who fell head over heels for you must have terrible taste. Well, she’s pretty weak-willed and fragile, so I guess you’re a good match in that sense.”
Misaki let out a sigh, as if she were tired of talking.
I couldn’t say anything, just like she said.
Part of it was because I was taken aback by how talkative she was, so unlike the quiet Misaki I knew. But the main reason was that she had hit the nail on the head with her criticisms, and my heart felt like it was being torn apart.
If it wasn’t Misaki, I would have grabbed my head and begged her to stop.
“Come on, say something. Otherwise, we won’t be able to end this the way you want, will we? Well, I have no intention of ending it…”
“Who are you…”
But something was wrong.
“What?”
“Who are you?”
This girl isn’t Misaki.
“What are you talking about? I told you, I’m Misaki…”
“No, you’re not.”
That can’t be right.
“Misaki would never say such things. She would hold back what she wanted to say, even if it hurt. She was quiet and didn’t like to talk much. She would never say anything that could hurt someone’s feelings. That’s what I loved about her.”
“…”
“She’s never looked at me like that before. She always seemed to be watching my expression, and she looked even more insecure. But when we were alone, she would always smile gently and look so peaceful… I didn’t know she could make that kind of face.”
When I said that, Misaki nodded as if she were impressed.
“Hmm, so you were watching me after all. That makes me happy. My favorability rating just went up. Well, it was already maxed out, but I guess you could say I’m even more in love with you now.”
“Shut up. Answer me. Where’s Misaki? You’re not Misaki!!!”
What this Misaki was saying made no sense.
I found myself crying out, and the girl before me gave a small laugh.
“It’s Misori.”
“Huh? So what…”
That’s not what I’m saying.
As I tried to say that, Misori waved her hand dismissively.
“Misori, I’m telling you. The one in front of you is an ‘idol self’ created by that weak girl, acting in a way that conforms to everyone’s ideals. So I am, without a doubt, Misori too.”
“…What the heck is that?”
It doesn’t make sense.
“Oh, you look like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Though you’re the direct reason for my birth, Koya-kun. Ah, whatever. You’ll get to know me in time.”
“What are you talking about?”
My mouth was dry.
My childhood friend of many years had suddenly been replaced by a complete stranger.
I couldn’t just accept something like that out of the blue.
“Ahahahaha. You’re troubled. Well then, let me ask you again—Koya-kun.”
Misori posed a question to me, perplexed.
“Are you going to abandon me?”
No, that’s not it.
I just thought I couldn’t be with Misori anymore as she changed.
That’s why I wanted to destroy everything. I thought it would be right for both of us to destroy it and go our separate ways.
I never thought it would turn out like this.
That’s why I…
“I won’t allow it.”
A shiver ran down my spine.
“That girl really liked you. She always wanted to be with you. There’s no doubt about that.”
It was a beautiful voice.
“I am Misori. A different Misori from that girl. But I was born from her. I was born from her pure desire to have Koya-kun see her beautiful form. I’m here for you.”
It was a beautiful wish.
“But you’re saying you’re going to abandon me. Even though I love you this much.”
There was a stagnation there.
“No, that’s not right. It’s not enough… Should I say I love you? Even that might not be enough… I want you. I want everything about you.”
It was a twisted wish in some way, her one-sided desire.
“I want all of Koya-kun. I won’t let you escape. I want to make you mine alone.”
And the true beginning.
“That’s why I won’t allow it.”
She said, her eyes clouded.
—You can’t abandon me and find happiness. I absolutely won’t allow that.