Into The Thrill

The nurse cheerfully bowed her head and greeted Choi Hyun-mi, who entered dressed in a white coat. Haewon nodded his head in greeting, but even the slight movement caused his whole body to ache.
"Haewon, are you feeling okay now?"

"Yes. I’m fine."
"Hyun Woojin was really worried. I think he stopped by here in the morning before heading to work."
Choi Hyun-mi placed her hand on Haewon’s forehead. The slightly cold touch made Haewon feel a sense of relief as his vision cleared. After taking Haewon’s temperature, Hyun-mi’s hand disappeared into the pocket of her white coat. Seeing Hyun Woojin’s mother made Haewon feel an overwhelming longing to see him. He was eager to see him so much that he could hardly bear the ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) impatience.

"You're a junior to Woojin, right? The case with the stalker, it was Woojin who handled it."
Though some key details were missing, it was all true. Haewon nodded slightly.
"Please bring me some food. Bring it as soon as you can."

Choi Hyun-mi said to the nurse, who stood there waiting, and the nurse hurriedly went out.
"Your parents are abroad, so you live alone? Woojin was really worried. He’s the type who worries when there’s no one to take care of you. Our son isn’t like that."
"I owe a lot to your son. I’ll be sure to repay you later."

The fact that he cared for him, especially in front of his mother, made Haewon’s chest swell with pride, and he felt a warmth wash over him like a spring breeze. Suddenly, the world seemed different.
It was as if everything had changed overnight. It felt like the world itself had turned upside down. Though Haewon hadn’t knelt before him, he felt that even if he had knelt, he wouldn’t have regretted it. Hyun Woojin was worth that much to Haewon.
"Then, would you play the violin again?"

"Sorry?"
"The violin, I’ve been listening to classical music lately. I’ve written down the pieces I want to hear on my phone."
Choi Hyun-mi took out her phone from her pocket.

"I’ll play it for you when I feel better."
"Is that rude? I really don’t know, I’m just asking."
"No, it’s fine. Also, please speak casually. You’re my son’s mother, so it feels a bit uncomfortable."

Had it been anyone else, Haewon might have rejected the request, but because it was Hyun Woojin’s mother, the one who raised him so well and made him the handsome, smart person he was, Haewon genuinely wanted to play for her, pouring his heart into the performance.
"Oh, really? Then?"
"Yes."
Haewon spent a pleasant time getting to know Choi Hyun-mi a little more, and then ate a late lunch, which was a porridge. After taking medicine and resting, he showered. He felt embarrassed, wearing the loose and plain hospital gown, and scrubbed himself hard. Each time he swallowed, the pain was dull, but after eating dinner, he felt almost back to normal.

When he calculated the days, three days had passed since he had gone to find Hyun Woojin. It felt like his body had been sick along with his mental state. Haewon had overworked himself thinking about how much he wanted to see Hyun Woojin, to touch him, that his body had broken down as a result.
He had thought Hyun Woojin wouldn’t accept him. He thought Hyun Woojin would coldly ignore him. But when he had embraced Haewon, the tension that had been squeezing him so tightly melted away like a lie. He had felt so distant, but now, he was just relieved that Hyun Woojin had accepted him. Haewon felt his chest finally ease. It was so unfamiliar, this feeling, that it almost felt like he wasn’t himself.
At first, he hadn’t disliked him, but the feeling he had turned into something deeper, and now it had grown so strong that he couldn’t imagine being without Hyun Woojin.

It wasn’t that Haewon felt guilty for misunderstanding and hurting him, but the thought of never seeing him again felt unbearable. His pride and everything else didn’t matter in the face of these feelings.
On the rainy day, Haewon finally went to Hyun Woojin’s officetel. He went to beg for forgiveness and ask for his heart. He did things he had never done before, but he didn’t regret it. In fact, he wanted to praise himself. This feeling of fulfillment was new. It was different from the satisfaction of perfectly mastering a difficult piece.
Lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, Haewon realized he was happy. He finally understood what it meant to feel happy.

While chewing on snacks he had bought at the hospital convenience store with the 10,000 won the nurse had lent him, Haewon was watching a melodramatic show on the TV in his hospital room when the door opened without a knock.
Hyun Woojin, dressed in a black coat with a black jacket inside, a thin lightweight padding vest, a white shirt, and a navy tie with a diagonal Sprite pattern, entered holding a briefcase and a large shopping bag.
"Are you okay?"

He walked straight over, dropped the things he was holding onto the sofa, and touched Haewon’s forehead, cheek, and neck, asking. Haewon, holding the snack bag, nodded.
"Don’t wait in front of my house again."
As if he had finally set his mind at ease, Hyun Woojin pulled Haewon’s head into his chest. Haewon’s face buried into the soft padding.

If he had known, if he had known Hyun Woojin would forgive him, he would have waited every day. The days he had struggled to forget him came back to him. Every time he tried to forget, nothing went his way. It felt like the entire world was stopping him from forgetting, as if everyone was fighting against his efforts.
Haewon wrapped his arms around Hyun Woojin’s waist and inhaled his scent deeply, as if to breathe him in.
"You told me to crawl on all fours."

"I didn’t mean it that way."
"Is your anger all gone now?"
"I wasn’t angry."

"I’m sorry for speaking carelessly."
"Do it once. It’s not like you."
"Why do I say things without thinking?"

"……."

Hyun Woojin, who had been holding Haewon’s head, stood up. Haewon looked up at him.
"Stop."

Hyun Woojin, with a vague expression that was neither a smile nor a frown, spoke.
"What?"
"Do it moderately. You’re acting like someone else. It’s strange."

"It’s normal to speak respectfully to an elder. It’s not strange at all."
"I won’t be mad."
"……."

"I wasn’t mad."
"……Really?"
"Yes."

"You won’t say anything else later, right?"
"Don’t just say 'you.' I really don’t like it."
"Yes."

Hyun Woojin hugged Haewon’s head against his chest again, gently patting him. After a while, when he pulled away, Haewon felt the loss of his warmth and got up from the bed to hug his waist.
"I’ve already informed the station, so you can be discharged. Just stay for a little while."
"No, I said I’ll stick to you."

"Alright, just stay for a while."
Hyun Woojin reluctantly pulled Haewon off and brought the shopping bag he had tossed on the sofa. From inside the large bag, a white padded jacket with a sports brand logo, ski gloves, and a soft, fluffy scarf spilled out.
"Change your clothes. I’ll take you home."

Haewon changed into the clothes Hyun Woojin had brought. Hyun Woojin helped him into the white padded jacket, put on the ski gloves, and wrapped the scarf around his neck.
"Already with the padding? It’s too much. No one else is wearing it."
"Put it on. Don’t complain. I’ll buy you more in different colors. Just wear this. Don’t wear a thin coat."

"It’s suffocating."
"You look cute, so just wear it."
As Haewon fiddled with his scarf, the other man had knotted it at both ends, making it impossible for Haewon to remove it. It felt like he was wrapped in a down comforter, not just wearing clothes. It wasn't heavy, but it was cumbersome and made walking difficult.

"I need to pay back the nurse."
"What for?"
"Ten thousand won. I bought snacks."

Laughing as if astounded, he went ahead and repaid the nurse the ten thousand won on behalf of Haewon.
After being discharged, they got into his car. The heater was on, making the inside of the car extremely hot, to the point that sweat was running down his back. As Haewon took off his ski gloves, the driver turned to him, about to say something. Haewon, feeling the stickiness of sweat on his hands, leaned his elbow on the console and grabbed Hyun Woojin’s right hand.
"......"

The corner of his mouth was pulled up into a half-smile. He interlocked fingers with Haewon, a warmth incomparable to the ski gloves enveloping Haewon's hand.
Upon arriving at the officetel and shedding his padding, the air felt cool against his skin, as if he had just stepped out of a sauna. He was unpacking the groceries from the car, meticulously placing ready-to-eat porridge and fruits that were good for immunity into the refrigerator.
Haewon stared at the violin lying there.

"Even if I told you what happened, you wouldn't believe me."
The terrible and absurd events that had unfolded, all occurring after they had broken up. The past month had been so horrific that Haewon shuddered to think about it.
"When I told you not to call, you didn’t. I thought you had forgotten me."

"......"
It was an absurd statement. Hyun Woojin spoke casually, oblivious to the terrible ordeal Haewon had endured.
Haewon looked resentfully at Hyun Woojin, who had done nothing wrong yet stood there in his officetel. He blinked several times, taking in his presence for a long time.

"I haven't practiced for over a month."
"Really?"
Hyun Woojin responded nonchalantly, unaware of what it meant for Haewon not to play the violin. It meant that he had been nearly out of his mind during that time.

His chapped lips became even drier from constant licking. While applying facial lotion to his lips, Haewon turned his head, feeling someone's gaze. Hyun Woojin, having finished organizing the refrigerator, was staring at him.
"Want some coffee?"
Nodding, Hyun Woojin started making coffee in the kitchen. He measured finely ground beans into a filter and placed it in the coffee maker. Hot water passed through, filling the clear pot and releasing a rich aroma of coffee.

Soon, he brought over two mugs of coffee. Haewon sipped the coffee handed to him. It was a blend he didn’t have at home, likely one of the items Hyun Woojin had brought.

Sitting down on the couch with his coffee, Hyun Woojin came over and knelt down in front of Haewon, bringing their eyes to level.
"You know you did a lot wrong, right?"

He asked. Hyun Woojin, holding the mug, warmed Haewon's cheek with his other hand. Haewon nodded as he met Hyun Woojin's eyes.
"You won’t misunderstand like that again, right?"
"I won’t."

Never again. No more misunderstandings, no more mistakes.
Haewon shook his head vehemently. He couldn’t bear to relive the agony of the past month without him.
"If you’re curious, ask first. Don’t just charge in."

"......"
"Do you know how angry I was? It was the first time I felt like killing someone."
"Was it that bad?"

"Yes."
At the time, even though he had spoken the words, his heart had plummeted. It wasn’t wrong to see the murderous intent swirling in those eyes.
"Why do you keep hanging out with those people? They make you uncomfortable."

"It's for work. I need President Kim Jeong-geun's help."
"Did you get engaged for that reason too? Because you needed their wealth?"
"It wasn’t like that. At that time, marrying Hayoung seemed natural. We’d been close since we were kids, and our parents had already promised each other, yeah. Honestly, I didn’t think it was a bad marriage. And if nothing had happened, I would have gone through with it."

He spoke matter-of-factly. To Kim Hayoung, his acceptance of the engagement and marriage as a natural course set by the families must have been hurtful.
Hyun Woojin was told he drove recklessly drunk because he didn’t like her. It wasn’t hard to imagine the conflicts and resentment that must have driven him to disgust.
She had ended up in a car accident, becoming paraplegic and disfiguring her face, hadn’t she? Surviving that situation would have been impossible with ordinary resilience.

A princess raised in royalty, engaged to marry a prince from a neighboring country, had faced such a trial. It must have been an unbearable ordeal for her. Her obsession with confirming Hyun Woojin’s feelings ultimately destroyed her.
While Hyun Woojin might have wanted Kim Hayoung's heart, facing him now, Haewon could deeply understand those feelings. This man, Hyun Woojin, could evoke such feelings. Haewon would likely have done the same.
"Do you know the last thing she said to me?"

"......"
Haewon shook his head, not knowing. He watched Hyun Woojin's lips, curious about what she had said.
"She said she’d make me unable to forget her forever."

And with that, she had chosen suicide.
"I tried to fulfill my responsibilities as a man, even if it wasn’t love. I didn’t know it would hurt her that much."
The guilt and responsibility towards his fiancée had rotted and decayed, leaving Hyun Woojin with a tormented expression.

"It’s not your fault."
She had liked Hyun Woojin too much, and her feelings had capsized her. It was misfortune for her, but for Hyun Woojin, she was a misfortune as well. Haewon touched his cheek, afflicted with guilt, wanting to comfort him.
"I might be clumsy and hurt you."

"It was my misunderstanding that hurt you, saying things I shouldn’t have. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault."
He was taking his faultlessness and accepting blame. Haewon was so angry with himself for stirring up those deep-seated emotions.
"Hyun Woojin, you did nothing wrong."

"Are you calling me ‘you’ again?"
"No. Hyung, Woojin hyung, you did nothing wrong."
"Do you really think so?"

He had done no wrong. Those desiring him had devoured their own tails, consuming themselves. Hyun Woojin was blameless. Rather, he had tried to take responsibility to the end.
"You did nothing wrong."
"Thanks for coming to apologize first. I was scared of what I might do to you..."

He spoke as if he was truly grateful, his face lightening as if a weight had been lifted.
"Just do whatever."
"Think before you speak recklessly."

"What did you want to do?"
"Well..."
He tilted his head and their lips met. Haewon closed his eyes, allowing his mouth to open for Hyun Woojin's tongue. His tongue entered, licking Haewon, who, thrilled to be devoured by him, moaned in ecstasy. They clasped each other’s faces, collapsing onto the sofa.

"I love you."
When Hyun Woojin's lips parted, Haewon confessed without realizing. He paused, looking down at Haewon. Tears welled up in Haewon's eyes as he confessed his love, wrapping his arms around Hyun Woojin's shoulders.
"Ah, I love you, I love you..."

He sucked on Haewon's lips that formed the words 'I love you', whispering back with his breath.
Me too.