Into The Thrill

A few days passed. A call came from an unknown number. It was a member of HanKyung Symphony, the assistant principal violinist. He asked urgently without any introduction if Haewon had heard the news. It was strange for him to call after a year and bring up something like this out of nowhere. Haewon asked what happened, then hesitated.

― "Haven't you heard that Seungcheol hyung has been arrested? The conductor and the concertmaster were called in too."
Seungcheol was the name of Choi, the senior.
"What do you mean?"

― "He’s involved in embezzling funds from the arts foundation and the exam scandal at Cheongmyeong Music University last year. Seungcheol hyung's brother-in-law is the head of the student office there. All the students who took lessons from the professors Seungcheol hyung introduced got into Cheongmyeong. Now, even the parents are being summoned one by one."
The voice sounded somewhat excited, as though it had already been accepted as fact that the principal violinist would be kicked out. He spoke on and on, as if watching someone else’s misfortune without a care.
Haewon remembered Choi’s composed face. He imagined his face from the time he had stood awkwardly at the door of the officetel. Haewon, feeling emotionally drained, responded in a disinterested tone.

"I didn’t know he was involved in something like that."
― "So, about that, we’re short on violinists right now. We have the upcoming regular performance, and it's a big deal. We've already arranged for a conductor, but if you’re free…"
"I’m not doing it."

― "Don’t cut me off so abruptly."
"Hang up."
Haewon ended the call.

He had said that he would make him crawl on all fours. If Kim Jaemin had been standing there with a bag of bread after starving for three days, Haewon would have opened the door for him.
Choi had always been good with calculations. He didn’t greedily covet money but didn’t shy away from it either. He knew well the necessity of money and enjoyed the comfort it brought. Haewon recalled his senior’s nice car, his nice house, and the private school his kids attended. Choi had come from an ordinary family and had studied music without much parental support. The income from being a symphony member and private lessons could not have been enough to cover his expenses.
Haewon ignored his ringing phone. He left the officetel and wandered the streets for the first time in a while.

He spent the following days just as usual. He got up, ate breakfast, practiced violin, went to exercise, read books, and watched movies. Nothing unusual happened.
The news about the music school entrance exam corruption was the headline in the newspapers. Choi from the symphony, Kim from the university foundation, and Lee were arrested for evidence tampering and serious charges. It was news Haewon didn’t care to know or be curious about.
Events that would continue to bring him to his knees kept happening. This time, it was the housekeeper. He received news that his father and stepmother had been called into the prosecution. Left alone in that huge house was his six-year-old half-sister, Haejeong. This was a call Haewon couldn’t ignore. He rushed to his family’s house.

"What’s going on?"
As soon as the housekeeper opened the door, Haewon hurriedly asked. She seemed just as disoriented as him after the shock.
"Yesterday, they suddenly barged in, turned the house upside down, saying they were conducting a search, and took everything. Then yesterday, the prosecutor’s investigators took madam and the president for urgent questioning, and they’ve been investigating them for a whole day. They’re still at it."
"And Haejeong?"

"Madam asked me to stay here and take care of her since I couldn’t go home. She said it wasn’t a big deal, that we shouldn’t make a fuss, so I sent the child to kindergarten like nothing happened, but the poor thing doesn’t know. She should be back soon, but it's a big deal. Could you stay with her, Haewon-ssi?"
"……."
Haewon entered his father’s study. It was a mess, as if someone had deliberately ransacked it. It looked similar to how Kim Jaemin had left his officetel in disarray.

He called Hyun Woojin. The phone rang emptily, and Haewon’s patience wore thin. He didn’t answer. Was this what he meant when he said he would make him crawl on all fours?
If it weren’t for Haejeong, Haewon didn’t want to chase after him. He called him again. Unconsciously, Haewon bit his lip in frustration. He was intentionally ignoring him, knowing he wouldn’t answer anyway. He slammed his phone down.
His father was a dealer who supplied weapons imported from the U.S. to East Asia. He had connections in the U.S. Department of Defense, a military buddy he met while serving in the KATUSA. While he didn’t know the full details, he understood that for his father to monopolize such a high-profit business, there had to be more corruption involved than even Choi.

As he was stuck in this indecision, he heard the small footsteps of Haejeong arriving from kindergarten. Tap-tap-tap. Haejeong ran to his father’s study, and upon seeing Haewon, she burst into tears, running to him and throwing herself into # Nоvеlight # his arms.
He had never done anything for her, not a kind word, not even when their mother passed, and he had even hated this child at the time…
Haejeong entrusted her small body to him. She had no one else in this world but him.

Haewon felt afraid. Her small body felt so heavy. It was as though her reliance on him pressed down on him with an unbearable weight.
"I’m sorry, Haejeong. I’m sorry. Your brother… sorry."
Haewon slowly wrapped his arms around Haejeong’s back as she clung to him. Her tears flowed in torrents, and he gently rubbed her back as she cried uncontrollably.

He soothed her, telling her it was nothing serious, and left her with the housekeeper before heading to the Central District Prosecutor’s Office.
They told him that a suspect under urgent summons was not allowed visitors. When he insisted on seeing Prosecutor Hyun Woojin, a police officer who had made a call ushered Haewon out. Standing there, unable to enter, Haewon was approached by someone. It was the officer he had seen last time at Prosecutor Hyun Woojin’s office.
"You’re here to see the prosecutor, right?"

"Is Prosecutor Hyun Woojin inside?"

"The prosecutor asked me to give you this."
She handed Haewon a note. She gave him a brief nod and disappeared into the prosecutor’s office with light steps.

Haewon opened the note she handed him. It had an address on it. It seemed to be the address of his officetel.
He immediately headed to Hyun Woojin’s officetel, which wasn’t far from the prosecutor’s office. He waited outside the door. This was the first time he had ever waited in front of someone else’s house, let alone like this. It was as if he had crawled here in a rush.
Exhausted from waiting, he forgot why he was even here. Leaning against the door, he sat down on the floor, resting his face on his knees, shivering from the cold. He had been waiting for ten hours.

It was past two in the morning.
The sound of footsteps in boots echoed, and Haewon looked up from where his face was buried in his knees. Hyun Woojin, who had gotten off the elevator, was walking quickly while reading something on his phone. When he casually spotted Haewon, he slowly came to a stop.
He stood there quietly, looking down at him. He scanned Haewon’s exhausted, disheveled, and resigned appearance. His lips didn’t form a single word. His expression was perfectly blank—neither apologetic nor triumphant.

Haewon looked up at him, leaning against the door. Hyun Woojin tucked his phone into his back pocket and stood in front of him, in front of his officetel door. Haewon followed his movement and turned his head.
"Did you crawl here on all fours?"
"......"

"I didn’t expect you to be waiting this long. If I knew this would happen, I should have come later."
Haewon blinked silently. When he tried to get up, his body wouldn’t respond. He staggered and placed his hands on the floor to stand, and then Hyun Woojin extended his hand. Haewon ignored the offered hand and, leaning on the wall, finally stood up. Their gazes were now at the same level.
"Why are you like this?"

"What do you mean?"
"This is completely irrational."
"So, what is?"

"I have a six-year-old little brother at home. He needs his mother."
"If someone commits a crime, they should be punished. Your father is quite something, huh? Everything he gets is through connections, and our team is pretty excited about it right now."
"......Why are you doing this?"

"I want to get serious. With you."
Haewon lifted his chin, staring at him threateningly.
"I have no intention of doing that."

"Will you step aside?"
Haewon didn’t move, standing in front of the door. He sighed and grabbed Haewon’s arm, brushing it away. Haewon was pushed aside easily, as if his body had no strength. He punched in the door lock code, and the door unlocked. Hyun Woojin left the door half-open and spoke.
"It’s cold outside. Are you coming in?"

"Let my father and stepmother go."
"Or are you going to stand here and shiver all night?"
"At least let my stepmother go. What does she know?"

"It’s not that simple. I can’t just arrest them and then release them at will. That’s not how the law works. Do you think I’m the president? Even the president can’t act freely when it comes to the law."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Just come inside. Let’s talk inside."

He grabbed Haewon’s wrist, pulling him inside. Haewon was weakly dragged along by the force.
Hyun Woojin’s officetel was neat. The white sheets on the bed were perfectly smooth without a wrinkle. If it weren’t for the countless books covering one wall, the space wouldn’t feel like an officetel at all—it could have been a hotel. It was a place with almost no trace of a person’s presence.
Hyun Woojin left Haewon standing at the entrance and hung his coat on the hanger. He then spoke to the still motionless Haewon.

"Take your shoes off and come inside. It’s not like you’re running away."
Neither Hyun Woojin nor Haewon had any reason to run away. Haewon removed his shoes and stepped into his space.
Hyun Woojin walked to the kitchen and turned on the electric kettle. Soon, steam began rising from it. He handed Haewon a mug with green tea steeping inside. When Haewon didn’t take it, he didn’t press further and placed it on the dining table.

He seemed exhausted, likely from the long work of handling Haewon’s father. He rubbed his shoulders and neck, then removed his tie. He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. Without being aware of Haewon’s presence, he loosened the tight collar. Through the window behind him, faint headlights from cars crossing a bridge flickered.
"Tell me why you’re doing this."

"Are you ready to listen to what I have to say? Are you ready to take it all in?"

He tapped his temple with his fingers, asking in a tone as precise as an announcer's, emphasizing key words and cutting off his sentences to make a point.
"Is this what you’re doing to try to correct my behavior?"
"Did you think I wouldn’t know that you dragged that guy in and spread your legs for him?"

"What does that have to do with you? What someone else does is none of your business."
"I’m doing this because you’re ignoring me. I’m making it impossible for you to ignore me."
"……."

"Have you ever seen something like this? A little boy pulls the hair of a girl he likes, makes it impossible for her to finish her homework, and scribbles on her favorite skirt. Then the girl chases after him, right? Whether crying or angry, she chases after him. She’ll crawl after him if she has to."
His voice was precise, his intonation deliberate, trained to put pressure on the listener.
"If she had shown interest, he wouldn’t have done all that, don’t you think?"

"I told you I didn’t want to. I don’t want anything to do with you."
"Then what should I do? I’ve started wanting to be involved. I really hate it when you take your clothes off in front of another man. I want to break that guy into pieces."
"What do you want to do by getting involved with me? What do you want from me?"

What can we even do?
The question, which he couldn’t bring himself to ask, swelled in Haewon’s throat.
"Well."

He took a sip from the mug that Haewon hadn’t drunk from. While drinking, he kept his gaze on Haewon. The edge of his lips touched the mug, and the tea that had been in the mug seeped into his mouth. The taste of it mixed with the feeling of his own saliva.
"Shall we start dating?"
Haewon’s heart dropped at the words and the subtle gaze that traced his face. He shook his head. After shaking his head once or twice, he finally refused vehemently.

"No. I won’t do it because of Taeshin. I will never, ever do it with you."
With more honesty than he had ever shown, Haewon spoke his heart.
"He’s dead. It’s been a while since he died."

Hyun Woojin didn’t seem to care. He didn’t care what Haewon felt, nor what Taeshin, who was dead, had felt. It felt like he had set his eyes on a target and was relentlessly heading toward it.
"Do you think I don’t know you killed him? Do you think I don’t know what you were trying to do with me?"
Hyun Woojin laughed in a way that suggested he found Haewon’s protests cute, as if he were amused by them. He approached Haewon, and Haewon took a step back, only to feel the cold wall at his back. There was no more space to retreat or escape.

The man slowly closed the gap between them. As he drew closer, a faint scent of his body reached Haewon. Haewon lifted his head in defiant resistance.
"I didn’t play with him. I was sincere back then."
"Don’t lie."

"Do you want me to call the dead and ask them if it was a lie?"
"What was so great about Taeshin?"
"Why, do you not believe that I slept with him genuinely? You must think he had no appeal at all, huh? You’re the one who’s been subtly belittling Taeshin while trying to make me out to be the bad guy."

"……."
"Why did you sleep with him? Why with someone who just takes parents’ money and eats it? What was so appealing?"
Leaning against the wall, he lowered his head and relentlessly locked eyes with Haewon. It felt more like a growl than a question.

"He bought me bread."
"……."
"He bought me bread when I was starving to death."

Hyun Woojin twisted his face in disbelief, as if this was the most absurd thing he had heard recently.
"Is that the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard lately?"
Haewon gazed at him with an empty expression.

"Did Taeshin buy you bread?"
"……No. He gave me his sincerity. Unlike you, he was honest and innocent."
"……."

Taeshin had no appeal. His personality was unkempt, and his low self-esteem made anyone around him uncomfortable. His actions were the same. Even though he was being used, he didn’t even realize it.
Hyun Woojin wasn’t lying. Maybe, at that moment, he genuinely wanted to hold onto Taeshin, who had given his sincerity wholeheartedly, because he was innocent and honest. It might have been sincere at that moment. Haewon wanted to believe that. He had to believe that.