Chapter Forty-Seven: Partial Truth
“Absorb the boat?” I asked, turning the wheel. We were probably twenty minutes away from Waveret coming into view. I still saw smoke in the far distance, though. I was using that to guide me.
Yes, that’s right. I don’t think the chances are high that you’ll keep it. If the ship belongs to a company, wouldn’t they want it back?
Albert chimed in and said that was likely.
“Can I absorb something this big? It’s…not exactly small, you know. It looks like it's designed to carry around 60-70 people.”
You can, but it will take a few minutes to properly process. Can I get started?
“Go for it. Do I need to do anything?”
You only need to remain within five feet of it. You don’t need to move, but you’ll fall into the ocean.
Ten minutes later, I did just that. It happened suddenly, but the cool, cold water felt refreshing. It washed away the blood stubbornly clinging to me.
Itarr said the ship appeared near the tower, floating on the bloody ocean. Having a sea-faring vessel at my beck and call was nice, but retrieving and storing it took ten minutes. It was just too slow.
But those were problems only I had to deal with. I couldn’t complain, and Itarr said the time would decrease as I increased my familiarity with her ring. In other words, I just had to keep using it.
Having a dock would help.
“A dock, huh? How do we even start building one?”
We’d need a lot of wood and nails. It’s not easy to construct, but I do have the knowledge. The supplies are the issue.
“What about blood crystals? Can you use those? They’re kinda like building blocks, right?”
You’re right. But we would need an unfathomable amount. I don’t believe the shapes they come in are made for use in large-scale construction unless we carve one each individually.
Albert and I talked about this during my swim to Waveret. I swapped back to my overalls and stashed the armor and cloak for later use.
The harbor soon came into view. With it, the smoldering remains of the burnt warehouse. A crowd of people were gathered around it. A few people were out on the docks, looking towards the sea. A winged-wildkin seemingly saw me and shouted, causing an orb of light to be fired into the sky. It illuminated nearly everything, and four wildkin with fins jumped into the ocean.
They grabbed me close and swam back, where I was quickly swarmed by curious questions.
“That’s enough now! Give the girl some space, okay?” I heard Dineria’s voice as she barreled through the crowd. She immediately kneeled and looked me over, asking if I was hurt. I shook my head, which prompted her to ask the next obvious thing. “What the hell happened to you?”
Before I could answer, I saw an unmistakable set of silver armor. Fisher controlled the crowd and told them to take ten steps back, and then Arnold led members of Waveret’s guards to help keep order.
I told Dineria the same story I told the late captain—that I was injected with a mysterious liquid and woke up on a ship. It wasn’t that farfetched because I saw vessels leaving port when the warehouse burnt down.
“And you swam back?!” She was in disbelief.
“Yeah, I did. I wasn’t going to be enslaved. After I summoned Albert, he helped cover my escape and caused enough damage to immobilize the ship.”
“Albert?” Fisher whispered. He asked me to clarify, and I wanted nothing more than to tell him to fuck off.
“It’s the name of my spirit.” I couldn’t disguise my hostility. Dineria noticed, but I was sure she chalked it up to my ‘harrowing ordeal.’
“What’s the plan, Fisher? Are we sending a ship out to find the boat?” asked Arnold.
“I’ll talk with the governing bodies of the merchant guilds and inform them of what I know. Do you know anything about the fire?”
I shook my head, and Dineria put a hand on my shoulder. She told Fisher I wasn’t going to answer any more questions. He agreed and said I needed rest—his concern for me was sickening.
Someone threw my mentor a towel, and she wrapped it around my body while escorting me to the inn. It didn’t take long to notice we walked the back roads to keep us from encountering people.
“I’m sure you had your reasons for destroying the warehouse.” Her words were cold enough to freeze my feet to the ground. “Who are you?” Dineria turned around and narrowed her eyes.
“I’m a girl without memories who…doesn’t find it difficult to kill.”
“You remind me of me when I had forgotten how to love myself. Why did you do it?”
“Monotonia. Do you know of it?”
“Unfortunately.”
“I’ve seen the horror they can inflict. Canary’s slums are shit holes because the damn things are everywhere. I’ve even seen them force a man to whore out his wife just to get his fix.” I thought about telling her about a certain Goatkin who was highly addicted to them. Sure, her mind was being controlled, but I was sure her addiction to the drug Cassidy made with monotonia wasn’t solely from brainwashing.
I wondered if Viridian had Myrokos control her because she was taking the shot. If they were involved in bringing monotonia here, and Cassidy was modifying it, did that mean they wanted her research?
“So… What? You have a grudge against them? You think one girl can make a difference?”
“If not me, then who else?” I didn’t think she expected that.
“Do you think that highly of yourself? Albert’s powerful, but you’re still a mortal. You can die like everyone else. And if you kicked the bucket tonight—Did you even think about Momo and Srassa?! Do you know how heartbroken they would’ve been?! They’ve been upset since the fire broke out! Or myself?! Or Nimyra?! Or Claire?! I know you don’t have any memories, but are you an idiot as well?! Did you forget common sense?! Tell me! How will I be your mentor if you go and get yourself killed?!”
“…” I stood there and endured her harsh words for over a minute.
“So? Anything to say for yourself?” Her tirade ended, and people were starting to investigate the disturbance. Annoyed, Dineria grabbed my hand and ran away through the sprawling port side town until we were alone again. She cornered me against the wall and looked me dead in the eyes.
She wanted answers.
And she wasn’t letting me go until she had heard anything satisfactory.
And… Maybe it was time. I’d fucked up real bad. Not in the sense of causing my friends to die, but I emotionally scratched scars upon their hearts.
“Fine. Can you keep a secret?”
“Better than anyone else.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Not at all. I’m starting to think you lied about being kidnapped in the slums.”
“I’m going to show you something. But we need to be alone.” I leaned close and hugged her, but I whispered as quietly as a squeaking mouse inside a room full of loud machinery. “And I mean alone… You need to guarantee complete secrecy.”
To say Dineria’s face was anything other than a look of utter disbelief and shock when I severed my head in front of her would be the world's biggest understatement. She immediately dropped to her knees and vomited, spraying half-dissolved remains of meat and booze all over the basement of an abandoned house she had broken into. Blue, pink, and purple auras covered the walls, preventing anyone from spying on us with spells to hear or see from a distance and preventing anyone’s spirit from interfering.
Nothing could get inside. And nothing could escape unless Dineria canceled the spells.
I doubt anyone could crack it. At least, not anyone in Waveret.
She was a mess—something I expected because what I did wasn’t…normal. It went against the law of the world.
Dineria apologized and wiped her mouth, but she still shivered and found it hard to look at my neck. She kept averting her eyes and looking at her own vomit.
I waited for her to speak first. I told her almost everything I couldn’t tell Harold or Nimyra. In a sense, I wasn’t breaking my agreement with Srassa’s father, so we were still okay on that front.
If Dineria cared that much about me, it would mean a disservice to keep it from her.
But with my unique abilities, and when Albert introduced himself as the former butler of Parrel Biggins when I cut myself to get the resources to summon him, it soon started to make sense. She understood he had died in battle because he was controlled by [Geas]. And I used my necromantic abilities to raise him from the dead as my revenant.
I kept Itarr's name free from my story. My mentor believed my goddess was nameless, but I didn't say anything about me eating her essence and splicing our souls. I felt that would've been too much to digest-- which was why I refused to bring up my hatred of Fisher and Arnold.
It was the same with Parrel Biggins being Viridian Keywater.
I guess I'm still not in a position to tell the whole truth about everything... Will that day eventually come?
We talked for a couple hours, only returning to the inn before the crack of dawn.
And then I found myself here—four hours after that—with a crying, whimpering singi hogging one arm, and a crying, whimpering human hogging the other.
“Guys, you can let me go… I won’t—”
“No!”
“Not gonna happen!”
“You were kidnapped again!”
“That’s the second time!”
Srassa and Momo alternated responses.
“You’re like a magnet for being kidnapped! It’s like you walk around with a sign that says ‘hey, I’m the girl that gets kidnapped. Come on, just kidnap me!’ And I can’t let it happen a third time! I gotta put my foot down as captain! You can’t leave alone after dark, okay?” Momo hugged my arms tighter and rubbed her cheeks against my shoulder. “We cried all night... We almost lost you once, and we really thought…this time…”
“I’m sorry… Okay, no more solo work. I won’t leave your sides, okay?”
“You better be sorry!” Momo barked, but she wiped her crying eyes and apologized. Dineria looked at us, but only she knew the truth. And I didn’t think she accepted I was an immortal woman who could raise the dead.
Dineria offered to escort us around town, but Momo didn’t like that idea. She said she didn’t feel like doing anything. But there wasn’t anything wrong with a lazy day here and there. I brought up the Flamewand and Shockwand I had made, but Srassa said she didn’t care.
She still had thick tears wetting her eyes. Suddenly, she laid down, bringing me with her. She cuddled close and closed her eyes. Momo did the same, and they fell asleep with my arms held hostage.
Dineria looked at us and smiled. She sat down and leaned against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest.
“You don’t need sleep,” she whispered. “But try to get some.” I nodded and closed my eyes.
The following two weeks went by in a flash. After taking a day to rest, Momo and Srassa were energized and ready to delve into our work as adventurers.
As long as I was right beside them, that was. They instigated a new rule called Don’t Let Servy Get Kidnapped, where either had to always be by my side. The sole exception was to use the bath, but they would always lean against the door and talk while I cleaned myself. And I’d have to do the same when it was their turn.
Every night after my ‘kidnapping,’ I had always woken up with them hugging my arms in their cat pajamas.
As for the quests we took on? Most were about fetching specific items like flowers or tridents from the Merfolk. Apparently, they were popular with aquatic wildkin. It had something to do with the materials used, but it behaved differently underwater than a metal or wooden sword. Shockwand was invaluable in helping us more easily kill the Merfolk since it was their weakness. [Arcane Bolt] was thicker and dealt more damage—perfect for finishing off the enemies stunned by lightning. But using lightning spells in water was dangerous.
I gifted Momo that wand. She incorrectly used it the first time because she miscalculated the increased area of effectiveness. Luckily, there wasn’t any permanent damage—only a paralyzed singi with crazy hair for a few seconds until it wore off. It was a shocker, though. Srassa held onto Flamewand. It was less effective here, but it created a hazy wave of steam, which allowed us to close the distance between enemies and catch them by surprise.
But returning to the reefs brought its own challenges in Srassa’s fear. She silently admitted she couldn’t get that awful sight of Merfolk butchering humans out of her mind. After Dineria heard that, she started offering our noble friend some therapy at night. Our mentor was a fantastic listener, and I wondered if my extraordinary story helped in that department?
We also ran into Fisher and Arnold a few times. Those goddamn jackasses were actually decent mentors. They followed Feral and instructed him to fight in a manner befitting his size and powerful muscles. Normal weaponry was out of the question, so they eventually found him a chunk of raw iron a few feet long. His massive hands easily hefted it. Seeing him run towards a group of brine serpents or adult shorelings and swinging so hard he slammed them into the wall was oddly impressive.
I suggested attaching a sword to his tail, but it was immediately shot down. But we got close to the large kobold during this time. In fact, he stayed in our room a few times when Fisher and Arnold had to meet with the merchant guilds about the warehouse fire. They still hadn’t found a trace of the ship that snatched me…because there wasn’t one. It was a wild goose hunt. Dineria confided and said she thought about telling the truth, but I argued and said it would cause more trouble.
She still treated me differently. I knew I scared her on an instinctual level.
But that changed on the tenth or eleventh day.
Dineria and I had decided to take a bath, so we relaxed in our personal hot springs and stared at the nightly sky. Momo and Srassa were exhausted from the day’s event, so they were adorably sleeping the night away.
“It’s okay if you think I’m a monster,” I said, lifting my hand up. The relaxing bath water dripped, making a noisy splash.
“…”
“When Srassa and I reached Novice Rank 7, Momo wanted to do the Bowmaster’s challenge, even though we had just unlocked Archery Specialist. You were there, watching from a distance. You thought you were sly, but Albert’s vision is impeccable. He helps me spot things I missed.”
“…”
“And that’s not the only time I’ve caught you. Are you scared of me? You don't speak to me alone anymore. I was surprised when you asked me to the bath.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s… I don’t even know where to begin.” Dineria leaned back and sighed. “I’m… disappointed in myself for feeling like this. I’m a mentor. I love being an adventurer. And I’ve really come to enjoy mentoring. And you’re a student. You need me. I need to teach you, but I can’t even analyze my thoughts. It’s not you, Servi. It’s me.” Dineria turned my way and melancholily smiled. Her beautiful face was cast in an aura of despair.
“If someone like you is acting like this, what about Momo? Or Srassa? They’re my friends. And my secret might be the incident that breaks us up.”
“I wish I could tell you things won’t change…but they will.”
“You can’t even lie and say it’s going to be okay?” I chuckled and relaxed. “It’s only natural you’d find yourself in a troubling situation.”
I expected a retort, but Dineria quietly whimpered.
“If you think I’m sad or upset, I’m not. It’s fine for you to feel what you do about me. But I like you, Dineria. You’re a close friend of mine, and I don’t have that many. Maybe enough to count on two hands, but that’s it. And… I don’t even know if I’ll have those with me once they know my secret. They might stay with me. Or they might be too afraid.”
“It’s…so hard for you, isn’t it? Of course, someone like you would’ve been…fearing something like that. But…”
“But?”
“Servi, I want to be your mentor. I promise I’ll look after you. I swear it. I’ll teach you everything I know, and you’ll always have a friend in me. Your secret? It… It’s fine. It’s okay.” Dineria looked up and met my eyes.
“Thank you, Dineria.”
“Servi?”
“Yeah?”
Dineria brought her knees to her chest and looked at me. “How does it feel? Your secret, I mean. Maybe I could help you better if I knew more.” My mentor used the same spells she cast when I first told her. No one could peek or intrude without physically walking through the door or flying down. And Dineria's ears were sharp. She’d catch them long before any spies had a chance to do anything.
“At some point…you just don’t fear death. Why be afraid of what will never catch you, you know? If I were alone, I’d go into battle without worrying about what would happen to me. It’s an advantage, for sure, but… I can push my body beyond its limits because I don’t have any. I can always run faster or hit stronger because the signals my body sends to my brain to stop can be disregarded without any permanent damage.”
“Breaking a neck is lethal to most, but it’s like a stubbed toe?”
“A paper cut. I’ve been blown up, exploded, sliced in half, blown through walls… I’ve died in a lot of ways. And I’ve killed a lot. I don’t know why I find it easy.”
“I was the same, once. In my darkest hour, I thought about nothing but killing the next target to get paid. People became walking bags of dupla… And… I just killed them. It was nothing personal to Dreadwood Shadow. I didn’t feel sad. I just had a job to do. You said you want to fight for those that can’t. And that’s an admirable goal. I really respect it, but there’s nothing but heartache at the end of this path. This may be harsh, but you can’t save everyone. There will always be the ones you couldn’t help—the ones you were too slow or too far away to offer a hand.”
“And I know that,” I replied, telling her about the two singi siblings. “I know they’re dead. And I was killed trying to save them. And it’s not them. When I destroyed the monotonia dens, a man went mad because he couldn’t get his fix. He injured a boy. An apothecary I know couldn’t save him, and his mother killed herself in grief. I know I’m naïve, but… Who else—”
“A savior complex is a dangerous thing, Servi. History is full of noble heroes—of the strong and just who fell to corruption, turning into what they feared the most. Money, power, and fame can be alluring temptresses.”
“You think I’ll eventually go down that road?”
My question caused Dineria to pause for a moment of silence. “Let us pray you don’t.”
“… Sorry, guess that was a stupid thing to ask.”
“It wasn’t the smartest, but I can forgive you.”
“Acting all high and mighty?”
“Why, of course. As your mentor, it does fall to me to ensure you’re sufficiently prepared for any situation. Servi, you’ll forever have an ally in me. If you need help, I’ll offer it. Assistance? You’ll have it. I’ve lived a long life, so I have knowledge.”
“You’re very kind.” I moved the hair from my eyes.
“I consider that one of my more appealing traits.”
And with that, we rested and relaxed. Our bodies were already washed from the rinse before entering the hot spring. It was after midnight when Dineria got out of the bath. She stretched and dried off, asking if I was coming to bed.
“Maybe in a few.”
“Okay, good night, Servi. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night.” I gave her a charming smile as she returned to the changing room.
Itarr and I talked a little bit about corruption. She didn’t understand it all too well, then said she would ensure I wouldn’t ever fall to the influence of the ‘dark side.’
I pulled out my phone and texted Albert because I wanted his opinion. Dineria gave me a lot to think about. A few things were already crawling around my mind, but…a few unmentionable fears that I hadn’t thought about crept in.
Maybe…this immortality was more of a curse than a blessing?
No, it couldn’t be. I only accomplished what I achieved because I had this power. Without it, those slaves would still be in Canary. Llamare and Liealia would’ve died in the assault.
And a savior complex? Did I really have one?
If I did, was it a bad thing? I was a goddess. Itarr had granted me her powers when our souls were spliced.
As a goddess…wasn’t it the morally correct choice to save who I could? Maybe bringing back all who died crossed the line, but if they were still alive?
I had to try, right?