Inescapable Escapism

“Pretty good, thanks. Another quiet night,” the boy replied, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Something must have happened overnight, but I had no clue what. Immediately, the need to know started to pull at me, and my eyes scanned the screens around the room, searching for any information that might indicate what had occurred. It was hard to know what was related to whatever had happened and what wasn’t, though. I didn’t want to stare at anything for too long either, just in case it was something I shouldn’t be looking at.

“Ah, but of course,” Rodgers said with a smirk and a slight shake of his head. “This is Grace, by the way. She’s from the latest cohort.”

A look of pleasant surprise appeared on the boy’s face as he glanced at me.

“Oh, no way. I didn’t know anyone was out yet?” he said before holding his hand out to me. “I’m Darren, third year intelligence analyst.”

He’d introduced himself the same way Georgie did, I realised. Part of me wanted to follow the same pattern of using my name and specialism, but the idea of having the same conversation about the fact I hadn’t been assigned one was exhausting. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“I’m the first one out of the induction wing,” I explained awkwardly, taking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

It felt strange to shake hands with someone who was around my age. It was such a grownup thing to do. Only my grandparent’s friends or colleagues ever really shook my hand, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but Darren smiled at me, pushing those thoughts away.

“Is Brice down here?” Rodgers asked, looking around the room. “I heard she came back last night and thought we’d say hello before continuing the tour.”

“Oh, yeah. She landed about an hour or so ago, but…” Darren hesitated, glancing towards the wall at the back of the room. “She’s in a briefing now.”

Rodgers winced.

“Oof, how’s it going?” he asked.

Darren’s expression mirrored Rodgers, and I glanced between them, trying to work out what was going on.

“I’m not sure. She’s not been out since the briefing started, but… she was pretty disappointed when she got in.”

A flare of panic sparked in my heart as fear shot through me. It was stupid, and I knew it was, but I couldn’t help worrying that it was my fault she was in a bad mood. I hadn’t done anything to warrant disappointment, though. Not really, at least.

Maybe she’d seen how much of a mess I’d been during the night. I should have been happy. I’d finished the induction period and been the first in my cohort to do so. That was something that should have been celebrated, but instead, I spent the entire evening lying in my bed and trying not to cry. I was plagued by loneliness, and that was ridiculous. If she knew, she would have been disappointed.

But surely, there was no way for her to know. I hadn’t seen any cameras in my room, and although I knew they could have been hidden, it didn’t seem right. They wouldn’t hide cameras in our bedrooms, would they? We got changed in there, and the idea of them recording that or watching it felt so wrong.

“I’m not surprised at all,” Rodgers said, his tone grim. “Are the boys okay?”

A ping came from Darren’s screen, and he looked away, reading the notification that popped up before disappearing too quickly for me to read.

“No. Not really,” he said with a shrug as he looked back at us. “But they will be. I’m pretty sure they’ve already got them booked in with the therapists, so they’ll get there. It’ll just take time. I think Nestor’s organised for them to have some more shadow shifts before they work alone again too.”

“That’s a good idea,” Rodgers said, glancing at the back of the room before calling. “Hey, Nestor. How’s it going?”

The man looked up, his expression exhausted.

“No deaths,” was all he said before returning to whatever he was looking at on his computer screen.

I felt my eyes widen. What had happened overnight? And was it normal for that guy to talk like that? He was a tutor, I was pretty sure. I couldn’t think of any other reason why an adult would be there, but the way he spoke was so… informal and blunt. He didn’t even look at me, either. I wasn’t sure if he even knew I was there.

“Well… that’s good, at least,” Rodgers muttered. “It’s probably not the best time to interrupt her, I don’t think. We can always swing back later once she gets out of the meeting. I’ll log the request now so she knows.”

He glanced at the back wall again before pulling a device out of his pocket, and I stared at it in confusion. At first, I thought it was just a normal phone, but something about it was different. There was a chunky rubber case on it that made it look even larger than it was, but even without it, I was pretty sure it was both thicker and wider than any phones I’d seen before.

The screen was weird too. I was standing next to Rodgers and should have been able to see it perfectly, but it looked blank. It was entirely black, but he was typing. He must have been able to see something even if I couldn’t.

Another noise came from Darren’s computer, and a groan slipped out of his mouth, distracting me.

“Not again,” he grumbled, dropping his head back.

“What’s going on?” Rodgers asked, fighting a smile as he slipped the device back into his pocket.

“I’ve been getting these damn messages all night,” Darren complained as he hovered his mouse over the notification. “This is the eighth one tonight.”

A laugh escaped Rodger’s mouth.

“Oh no. How long have you got left on your shift?”

“Twenty-nine minutes,” Darren replied, seemingly without even glancing at the clock at the bottom of his screen.

He let out a heavy sigh before clicking on the alert and pulling it up. I hesitated before glancing at the message, concerned about what it would contain and if I would get into trouble for reading it, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t in English or any other language that I could read. I was pretty sure it was Russian.

Rodgers leant forward, resting a hand on the back of Darren’s chair as his eyes flicked back and forth.

“Ah,” he said. “We should probably leave you to handle this. You got it under control?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Darren replied without looking away from the screen. “It’s just a jumpy field agent who thinks every scrap of metal they find is either a bomb or radioactive or…”

He trailed off as he clicked on the picture that had been attached to the message, pulling it up, and I stared at the blurry image on the screen. It was hard to tell what I was looking at, but both Rodgers and Darren cocked their head to the side before Rodgers let out another laugh.

“Well… they might just be right about this one,” he chuckled. “Are you comfortable dealing with this by yourself? I mean, I know you have Nestor here, but I can stick around if you don’t want to bother him.”

Darren rotated the image before clicking through to the next one and sighing heavily.

“No, it’s okay, but thanks. I’ve got this,” he said, looking away from the screen for just a moment. “It wouldn’t be a Thursday morning without a bomb scare, huh? Wait… it is Thursday, right?”

Rodgers hesitated before speaking.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

“Great,” Darren said with a smirk, which Rodgers returned.

“Alright, call if you need anything, but I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Rodgers told him.

“Thank you. It was nice talking to you, Grace. Welcome to the chaos!”

His tone was warm and kind, brimming with laughter despite the picture of a bomb on his screen, and I wasn’t quite sure how to react. He seemed so used to dealing with things like that, as if it actually was something that happened every week, and that scared me. Were there that many bombs just out there in the world for field agents to find? We were young, still kids. Surely, actual agents, adults, should be the ones to deal with those.

“Thanks,” I responded as Rodgers turned and started to lead me out of the room.

“Goodbye, Grace,” called a voice as we reached the door, and I looked back, startled to hear someone say my name.

My eyes scanned the room, searching for whoever it was that had spoken. I have no idea who it could have been; I didn’t know anyone else in the GSOD or the rest of the Academy. Everyone I knew, apart from Ms Brice, was in the induction wing, and I knew it wasn’t her. The voice had been male.

Finally, my gaze found Nestor. He hadn’t moved from behind the desk, but his eyes were now fixed on me. Shock washed over me, not only because he had spoken to me and clearly noticed that I was there but also because he knew who I was. Had he just overheard Rodgers introduce me to Darren, or was there another reason why he knew my name?

“Bye,” I replied with an awkward wave, trying to hide how alarmed I was.

Rodgers held the door open for me, and I ducked through it quickly, wanting to get away from the GSOD. It was fascinating but also terrifying, and I wanted to know why the tutor knew who I was, but I also didn’t. Not knowing seemed like a better option. It would probably make me less nervous, anyway.

“That’s one of the security measures, in case you hadn’t guessed,” Rodgers said with a grin as he let the door shut behind him.

“Oh?” I replied, unsure what he was talking about.

“Part of the job of the GSOD is to monitor the grounds of the Academy and make sure it’s safe,” he told me. “And that’s part of why I feel so comfortable leaving the main doors open. There are people watching them at all hours of the day, and alarms go off if any of the proximity sensors are triggered, so the likelihood of anyone being able to reach us is pretty low.”

“That makes sense,” I said.

“Yeah. I mean, if someone wanted to get around them, they’d either need to turn enough of the people who work in the GSOD to be able to overpower and take out the rest before they can raise the alarm or find a way to completely disable it,” Rodgers said, his tone thoughtful. “That’s pretty unlikely, though. It’s powered by multiple sources, and there are backup generators and safeguards in place to ensure that it doesn’t happen. Did you want to have a look at the other room?”

The question took me by surprise, and I wasn’t expecting it. My head was still spinning from the knowledge about the GSOD, and anxiety pulled at me. I knew it was unlikely, but I couldn’t help worrying about someone or a team of people breaking into the Academy. I think I was just being paranoid, though. I just didn’t want my time there to end.

“Umm… what’s the difference? I mean, why are there two rooms?”

“Oh, this is the silent working room. Obviously, people still need to take phone calls and may need to talk occasionally, but they try to keep it to a minimum. There’s no music playing in the background, unlike the room we were just in, and it’s just a little… calmer,” Rodgers explained.

I hesitated, looking through the glass at the people in the room. As much as I did want to see more of the GSOD, I felt a little bad about potentially disturbing people who were trying to concentrate. They might be dealing with bombs, like Darren, and by interrupting them, I could be putting people at risk.

“No, that’s okay,” I said quickly. “It seems pretty similar to the other room.”

“It is,” Rodgers agreed. “The noise is the only real difference. Alright, in that case, we’ll just poke our heads into the lounge and snack room so you’ve seen it, and then we’ll head topside. How’d that sound?”

“Umm… yeah, that sounds good.”

Rodgers smiled before throwing his weight against the door at the end of the corridor, the brace on his knee seeming to make it harder for him to push it open. I watched uncomfortably, not sure what to do. I wanted to help him, but the door was small. There wasn’t enough space for me to push it open too, and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by offering to do it for him. He’d probably say something if he needed me to help, wouldn’t he?

I was still struggling to decide what to do by the time he’d managed to get the door open. He didn’t move far from the doorway, though. He simply stepped to the side, still holding it, and nodded for me to go past him. I entered uncertainly, feeling my eyes widen as I took in the giant room.

The back half of the space seemed to be used mostly for storage. Tables had been stacked to one side, reaching almost all the way up to the high ceiling. Chairs, filing cabinets, computer monitors, and endless boxes had been carefully fitted together, creating an almost impenetrable wall. There were no ropes or barriers or anything to stop people from approaching it, either. Whoever had put the stuff there seemed to just trust that everyone would stay away from it, and the few people in the lounge appeared to be doing so.

My eyes roamed the room, taking in the small cluster of people seated on low, comfy-looking sofas. They chatted in hushed tones, occasionally glancing at the person sprawled out beside the group with a blanket pulled over them. There were a couple of other people seated at the tables on the other side of the room, a book or an iPad in their hands as they ate.

The scent of soup, something rich and creamy, wafted towards me, and I felt my mouth water as I watched the girl carefully carry a cup away from the vending machine.

“Wow,” I breathed as I finally noticed the wall of machines.

There were so many there, and at first, I was excited by the sight. I wanted to go over and see what they all contained, but then anxiety hit me. They were too familiar, too similar to the machines that I’d seen in the arcade with Dina. Actually, I was pretty sure the one on the end was identical to one of the ones there.

It wasn’t real, I tried to tell myself, but it didn’t help. It didn’t matter if it was the same machine; that didn’t mean the Academy had anything to do with the floating island. Why would it be? There could be hundreds of that exact machine in the world, maybe even more. It was just a coincidence, nothing more.

“They’re all free,” Rodgers said, causing me to look at him. “All of the food and drinks in the vending machines. People can just help themselves.”

I glanced back at the machines. That wasn’t what I had been worrying about, but it was good to know. I wasn’t sure if I had brought any money with me to the Academy, and I had no clue how to get some if I needed it. Was I meant to text my parents and ask them to send some somehow, or would the Academy give it to me?

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah! I mean, I think it’s only fair. People work in the GSOD, and sometimes, they just need a quick snack or a drink. Obviously, they can go upstairs to any of the refreshment areas or the canteen, but they shouldn’t have to, and they don’t always have time for that,” Rodgers explained. “It’s just easier for them to be able to pop in here and grab something without wasting any of their break.”

“That makes sense,” I agreed.

Rodgers smiled at me.

“Are you getting hungry yet? You can grab something from one of the machines if you want, or we can just stop by the canteen on the way outside?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but a faint buzzing sensation came from my hand, distracting me. I glanced down at it, confusion building in me as I stared. There was nothing in my hand, but I had definitely felt it vibrate, and I couldn’t work out why.

Rodgers was still waiting for me to answer too.

“I’m okay,” I said distractedly. “I can wait.”

Another buzz tickled my palm, and I felt myself pull back out of the world a little, barely hearing what Rodgers was saying to me. What was going on? My hand was empty. It had no reason to be vibrating, but it definitely was. I knew it was. Was I losing my mind? The question gripped me, sending my anxiety spiking as I felt it again.

Dizziness began to pull at me, quickly followed by relief. I wasn’t going crazy, I realised as I started to give in to the sensation. It was another world. I must have been holding something, probably my phone, and that had been going off. Glancing around the GSOD lounge and snack room one last time, I let the world slip away from me.

White spots flashed before my eyes, and I could feel my heart pounding as the world spun around me. I tightened my grip on my phone, wishing there was something else I could grab onto. The room was moving so nauseatingly quickly that I felt like I was going to fall over, even though I could tell I was lying down.

But the sensation faded quickly. I barely had time to panic before it began to recede. I pushed myself up, holding my breath as the movement caused my head to ache and the dizziness to return for just a second. There were three texts on my phone, all received in the last minute and all from Phoebe.

Okay, read the first one. New update. I think Mom’s starting to change her mind.

I stared at the messages, trying to work out what she was talking about. There were so many things that she’d asked her mom for, and it could have been any of them. She wanted to get her ears pierced again. That was what she’d been pleading with her mom about for the longest time. She already had two piercings in each ear, but she wanted another one at the top, and her mom hadn’t agreed to it yet.

That didn’t feel right, though. It had been a while since she’d asked about that last, and I felt like I was missing something. I scrolled up, scanning our last few messages before realising what she was talking about.

A lobster??? I replied, a smile appearing on my face as I hit send.

She was still obsessed with that YouTube channel where the guy had nurtured a lobster he’d bought in a supermarket back to health, and I knew she must have been begging her mom to let her get one too.

Yes! came Phoebe’s immediate reply. She’s stopped saying no and now keeps saying we’ll talk about it when I get back, so that has to be a good sign, right? It’s definitely more positive.

I snorted softly and shook my head.

Maybe, I typed back. Or maybe she’s just trying to get you to stop asking?

Eh, we’ll see, Phoebe wrote. How’s it going there? Is your mom being okay?

My fingers hovered over the screen as I debated how to reply. I wasn’t sure what to make of how she’d acted earlier. She’d been so… nice, and that was a little concerning to me. I wanted to believe that it was a good thing, that she’d seen how much the way her mom acted hurt her and didn’t want to do the same to me, but I didn’t quite trust that. Any time I’d thought she was changing and would start treating me better in the past, my hope had always been crushed before long.

She’s not been too bad, I texted before adding, It’s kind of weird, actually.

I hesitated before hitting send, trying to work out how to explain what had happened, but I couldn’t quite put it into words. She’d been kind. Thoughtful, and that was so strange and unusual that it made me uneasy. Phoebe knew what she was like; she knew how my mom treated me, so I could have explained. She probably would have understood.

Oh? That’s good, though? she replied. I mean, it’s better than her being an asshole. Hopefully, it lasts until you get back home.

Yeah, I hope so, I started to type before freezing.

My head snapped up, and I held my breath as I listened. There were footsteps. I’d definitely just heard footsteps, but none had followed. Someone had started to climb the stairs before stopping. I waited, barely able to breathe as I strained my ears to pick up any more noise. Fear nudged at my heart, making me paranoid that my mom was somehow sneaking up the stairs without making any noise and would throw my door open any second.

Finally, another footstep came from far away, accompanied by the squeak of floorboards. She, my mom or one of my grandparents, were still on the stairs. There were a couple that creaked when they were stepped on, but they were all fairly low down.

“I’m just going to check on Grace,” I heard my mom call, her voice taking on a cruel edge as she said my name. “She’s meant to be packing, but you know what that child is like.”