Inescapable Escapism

“Honestly,” Mom’s voice came from somewhere in the distance and made my head spin, “if you keep eating like that, I’m going to buy you an entirely new set of uniforms before you go back to school in September.”

Irritation washed through me, and I pulled away from her voice, ignoring it completely. I didn’t want to listen to her going on and on about how much I’d eaten at lunch. It hadn’t even been that much, and even if it was, it didn’t matter. It was just one meal, and that wouldn’t make too much of a difference. I knew that. She must have known it, but she was still going on and on about it.

It was annoying me and making me feel self-conscious, but it didn’t matter. The new world I’d found was so bright and colourful. It was easy to be sucked in and completely ignore whatever my mom was saying.

A grin stretched over my face as I looked around at the bright street. It was definitely enough to distract me from Mom. It was one of the most picturesque places I’d ever been before. Everything was clean and bright and beautiful. Even the trees that lined the wide path were perfectly uniform. Not that I expected anything else. We were too near the government buildings, and the gardeners always made sure everything was perfect for them.

Not that any of the politicians or officials would care at all if anything wasn’t perfect. They didn’t care about that kind of thing. They were too busy thinking about the big picture. I’d be surprised if they noticed the trees at all. They’d realise if they weren’t there, of course. The trees contributed to the clear air we breathed and helped keep the city afloat, but they wouldn’t notice a couple of leaves being out of place or overgrown.

The ‘big picture’ talk infuriated me. I understood the importance of it, of course. That had been drilled into me enough over the years. We had to consider the city as a whole, not just the minuscule parts. I got that. It was essential to make sure we were thinking about the needs of every citizen rather than each citizen because then those in charge could make decisions for the greater good and all of that rubbish.

I truly did understand why it was so necessary, but I just didn’t know how they could talk about it so much without getting bored. They never came to any decisions either! The conversations always just went around in circles. Maybe if they talked about it less, I would have had a less visceral reaction to it, but there was no way to know that because it was incessant. I counted. The last time I went to dinner with my parents and some of their colleagues, it was brought up nine times.

Nine. The dinner lasted two and a half hours. That was just so much. I was pretty sure the only reason the dinner was thrown was because of me too, and that somehow made it so much worse for me. Mom and Dad had made a big thing about it. They kept saying that they just wanted me to join them to get a taste of what it was actually like to be in government, and then an invite just happened to arrive in my inbox the next day.

We had a fancy meal, sure, that was great and all, but the conversation made it unbearable. I truly debated faking a headache or an urgent zip from Dina just to get out of it, but I knew there was no point. They’d call a doctor or Dina’s parents, and that wasn’t worth the hassle. Instead, I just had to sit there and force a smile onto my face as my eyes gazed over, and the conversation continued around me.

My parents saw straight through me, though. I thought I managed to keep it together fairly well, but when the Governor somehow steered the conversation away from the surface and back to the needs of the many for the sixth time, I wanted to shout at them. The surface was so much more interesting than whatever they ended up saying; I don’t know. I didn’t listen.

I tried so hard not to look irritated. I really did. My parents emphasised how important it was to be able to hide things like that, and I tried my best, but I don’t think I succeeded, based on how hard Mom laughed. She played it off much better than I did, though. She broke into a coughing fit and had to leave the room, but I saw the tears of laughter in her eyes.

Dad must have noticed what was going on too, because he didn’t even ask me if I’d reconsidered when we got home that evening. He just asked me if there was anything I needed them to do to help with my preparations for the medical exams.

A spark of jealousy burned in my stomach, and I felt my face twist at the memory. It was a nice one. It shouldn’t have caused such a violent reaction, and I knew that, but I couldn’t help it. Both of my parents in that world were so supportive and kind. They weren’t pushing me to become a politician because they wanted to control me or anything like that. They wanted the best for me, and they both loved their jobs. They thought I would too.

My heart sank as sadness drowned the envy I’d been feeling before. That was what I wanted. It was such a weird feeling, such a foreign one. My real dad wanted the best for me; I knew that, but I wasn’t sure my mom did.

No, I knew that she didn’t. Part of her wanted me to succeed and do well, but that was just so she had reason to brag about me. It wasn’t because she wanted me to be happy. I doubt my happiness even crossed her mind. In fact, it probably did, but not in a good way. That was the other half of her. The half that didn’t want me to do well.

She enjoyed it too much when I failed. Then, she could judge me for it and rub my shortcomings in my face, use them to make herself feel better about what she’d done with her life. She wasn’t happy. She expected that she would be. She planned and assumed her life would be better, that she’d get everything she ever wanted without even trying, and yet she didn’t. She was miserable, and she liked it when I was too.

I shook my head slightly, trying to pull myself out of my thoughts and looked around at the street again. We were much further down the street than I expected, not far from the theatre that marked the official start of the entertainment area. The path was wider, and the offices around us had become a little more colourful. That made sense. They needed something to compete against the bright flashing lights of the entertainment area.

“Crap, official at eleven o’clock,” I hissed at Dina, leaning my head towards her and trying to make it seem like I was just saying something innocent.

Dina’s body stiffened, and I saw her head snap up to look at the official. She must have been lost in her thoughts too and hadn’t noticed the man walking along the street towards us. I silently chided myself. The whole reason we were skipping school was to cheer Dina up and to stop her from ruminating about not being picked to be an artist. I’d gotten too distracted by my own drama and forgot. I needed to focus and do better.

“What do you want to do?” Dina asked before letting out a laugh as if she’d just cracked a joke.

The smile on her face was so natural. It really sold the act she was putting on, and for a moment, I was tempted to suggest she try to apply to be an actress. The deadline had passed, and the chances of being picked for that were almost as slim as becoming an artist, but she was so convincing. She would have done great.

I grinned and considered her question, trying not to look at the official again. My first instinct was to run, but I immediately dismissed it. Running from an official wasn’t something that people did in the city. Not unless something very bad was happening and they were involved in something like terrorism. I wasn’t even sure why the thought had entered my head. I knew exactly what to do. It was the same thing I’d done many times before.

My eyes met the official’s, and I held his quizzical gaze, trying to seem as transparent and innocent as possible. That was the best way to avoid suspicion or being reported to my parents. If I made it seem like I was meant to be there and had nothing to hide, it would throw them off. It had worked before, and I knew it probably would again.

“Hello,” I called to the official as we neared, silently begging him not to stop or ask us what we were doing not in school.

“Good afternoon, girls,” the man replied, nodding politely.

My smile widened as he continued walking, but I kept watching him out of the corner of my eyes. I barely had the chance to feel relieved before I spotted it. A slight blue glow appeared in their eyes. It could have been nothing, but I knew he was checking our identity. My chip didn’t make a sound, obviously. It never did when an official scanned us, but that was definitely what he was doing.

His eyes widened ever so slightly, and he sped up, seemingly in a hurry to get away from us. I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder once he passed, hoping that he was just worried about being reported for hassling the daughter of two high-up politicians. That would be better than the alternative: he was in a rush to get to my parent’s offices to tell them I wasn’t in school.

I was a little surprised by the lack of fear I felt, though. Part of me, the part that wasn’t used to that world, was bracing for the inevitable barrage of messages from my mother telling me that I was a disappointment or a terrible daughter, but I knew they wouldn’t come. Not there. The worst that would happen was I’d get a talking to once I got home, and I could handle their disappointment if it meant Dina felt better, even if it were just temporary.

“Why are they everywhere?” Dina groaned. “It’s the middle of the day. Don’t they have better things to be doing than loitering around in front of a theatre? Are they even stationed there?”

I chuckled and glanced at the two officials standing outside the grand theatre ahead. Judging by their posture, the light sheen of sweat on their brows, and the glow emitting from their contacts, they’d been standing there for a while. They looked bored, and I was willing to put money on the fact that they’d barely look at us as we passed. They seemed too distracted by whatever it was that they were watching.

“Maybe there’s a play on that the Governor wanted to go to?” I suggested.

“In the middle of the day, though?”

“I guess. The show times are always kind of weird,” I replied.

“Yeah… Not everyone works during the day, I guess,” Dina allowed. “So? What do we do?”

My eyes found the mouth of the alley just a few feet away. We were pretty close to it. The officials hadn’t even looked at us, and I was sure we could dart down it before they’d realised we were there, but it would seem suspicious. If they did happen to see us, if their video ended at the wrong time, they’d follow.

“Just keep walking, I think,” I said. “For all they know, we were excused from class early.”

Blue flashed across Dina’s eyes as she checked the time.

“Yeah… maybe,” she replied, her tone unsure.

But she didn’t hesitate. She just continued to follow my example as we drew close to the officials. I kept my pace slow and relaxed, my posture tall and tried to radiate calmness. It must have worked because one of the officials blinked as we passed, their contacts clearing for just a second to look at us before lighting up again.

Relief washed through me as we turned onto the familiar street. Immediately, my eyes were assaulted by bright neon lights. Signs shone on the front of every building, advertising arcades, clubs, cinemas, restaurants, cafes and more. Even the street itself was more exciting than usual. The trees had been replaced with glowing imitations made of nothing more than glass and bioluminescent algae that pulsed in time with the music hypnotically.

I had to fight not to let my mouth fall open as we wandered down the middle of the street. I’d been there before, of course, but it was also entirely new to me. My body longed to stop at every building and stare in through the windows, to learn everything about the incredible world I was in, but my eyes flicked towards Dina. I couldn’t let her know how awed I was. It would concern her. She’d know something was wrong; she knew me too well.

Dina must have felt my eyes on her because she met my gaze.

“Are you hungry?” she asked. “We could always go to the diner before we hit the arcade.”

I paused, glancing at the vivid red building before us, and my stomach rumbled. The diner would be empty at that time. Barely any adults went there, just kids, and they’d all be in school. We’d be able to choose whatever music we wanted from the little jukeboxes on the tables, and we wouldn’t have to put up with people shouting or arguing.

But the arcade would be empty too, and the thought of that was way more appealing to me than the diner. We wouldn’t have to wait in line for a single machine. Not that we really did, anyway. When people saw us coming, they usually insisted we went first, but that always made me feel kind of bad.

“Mmmm, I don’t think so,” I decided. “But we can grab something from the vending machines at the arcade if you want?”

Dina’s eyes lit up.

“Absolutely!” she cried. “I wonder if they’ve finally changed the menu.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I doubt it. I mean, they’ve been saying that new options are coming for… what, eleven months?” I asked, and Dina nodded in confirmation. “At this point, I’m pretty sure they’re just lying to keep us coming back. Either that or they’ll take out the fish-like taco and add in something boring again.”

“Ew, maybe,” Dina giggled. “But they don’t need to lie about that to keep us coming back. We can’t stop now! We’re so close to beating that final level in Ice Escape!”

“It’ll happen,” I said firmly. “Any day now, we’re going to find a way to get past that last monster.”

Dina sighed wistfully.

“I hope so. We have to, Clea! I just don’t know what we’re missing. I swear, we’ve tried every weapon and even the grenades. What else is there?”

“I just don’t know,” I said with a shake of my head as the giant arcade building came into view. “Perhaps we should try pushing it towards the cliff again. We got it pretty close that one time. If we do that again, maybe we can hit it with that big blaster, and it’ll fall off?”

There was a moment of silence broken only by the thudding beat emanating from the arcade. It radiated through the ground, making my heart race in time with the music.

Dina cocked her head to the side as she considered my suggestion. I could barely recall what she was talking about. It was a game, I knew that, but I couldn’t work out anything more than that. I tried searching my memories, but all I got was a flash of red splattered on something white and nothing more.

“Maybe,” Dina said slowly. “But surely that can’t be the only way to win. What if the gun doesn’t appear for us? The weapons are always random. What if it just doesn’t show up? Or what if we get it too early and can’t afford it? Do we just play over and over until we can?”

“I guess,” I laughed. “I feel like that one always shows up in the last few levels, though. Right?”

“Yeah…”

“So as long as we’re careful and make sure we’re clearing out all the monsters for the first nineteen levels, we should be fine,” I said, somehow knowing I was speaking the truth.

I was just opening my mouth and letting the words flow forth without thinking about it too much. It was the easiest way. I was acting on instinct, and I knew that if I thought about it or tried to work out what to say, it would just be harder for me. Nothing would come to mind.

“Okay, but what if we get that far and find a big chest, then spend all that money to open it just to get, like, a shield or something?” Dina asked.

A laugh slipped out of my lips. That was one of the most infuriating parts of the game. It was impossible to know what was inside the chests. Some items were more likely to show up in more expensive chests, but for some reason, the developers had put shields in the class as the giant guns. The shields were useless. They barely did anything! Any time Dina or I got a shield, we knew it was pretty much game over.

“That could happen,” I said with a smile. “Then I guess we’ll just have to hope a shield can somehow kill the beast.”

Dina grinned at me, linking her arm through mine as we walked in through the double doors. The arcade had been loud before the doors even opened, but once I was inside, it was overwhelming. And it wasn’t just the noise. There were flashing lights everywhere. Multicoloured displays lit up in dazzling patterns, almost blinding me as I stared, but I couldn’t look away.

My eyes roamed the huge yet cramped room, and my hands itched with the urge to run forward and start playing the nearest game immediately. Machines had been organised in neat lines, but each one emitted noise and drew me in with bright colours. I stepped forward almost timidly, eager to see more but intimidated nonetheless. I’d been to an arcade before, a couple, actually, but the one I was standing in was unlike anything I’d ever seen before.

I didn’t recognise a single machine. I didn’t really expect to. That world was so different from my own, but nothing was even that familiar to me, and it caught me off guard. There were no claw machines, no shooting games or even slots to insert coins or swipe a card. Instead, each console simply consisted of a giant screen, surrounded by fans and speakers, with a strange empty platform attached. It looked almost like one of those dancing games I’d always been a little too intimidated to try.

“Food first or game?” Dina asked, turning towards me.

I swallowed and looked around at the arcade again, my eyes searching for anything to help me make a decision. Dizziness pulled at me faintly, but I shoved it aside. My stomach growled again, despite the fact that I’d just eaten in the real world.

“Food,” I said, finding my voice.

Dina’s grin grew even wider.

“Fantastic idea,” she said. “We can always just stick to a nice gentle game until our food’s settled. Maybe World Designer? I feel like it’s been ages since we played that last?”

Although I knew nothing about that game, I was filled with excitement. It wasn’t particularly thrilling compared to the other offerings in the arcade, but I still loved it. Faint memories floated to the front of my mind, and I seized them eagerly. We’d spent hours on World Designer when we were younger and too scared to try Ice Escape.

It always started the same way: an empty world and a handful of people, but what we did from there kept us going back. We could develop the world however we wanted. Cultivate and shape evolution to suit us. We always sunk time into developing research. From there, we got science and knowledge which could be used to make so many cool advancements. One time, we even managed to make a rocket. That was awesome.

“It has!” I agreed. “Okay, let’s grab food, and then we can play!”