Incubus Awakening: The More I Lust, The Stronger I Become

"Sire, we found a boy shuffling through the control room without permission," a man said, tugging on the younger Logan's arm. His face went wide once he witnessed what laid inside the room. "What happened here?" he asked.

It was a surprise to the boy as well. The walls still bled pink like blood, chugging to keep the projection alive. Inside it was a shattered mess of purple—the former beast, only identifiable by its mane.

Everything else was pulverized down to the very atom. And one man stood over it.

Logan's father, his fist wettened by the beast's blood, turned with a violent shrug. "Help, you have to do something!" he roared, running over to Selene's unmoving body. "Please! My daughter will lose her Gift!"

The younger Logan's eyes widened—his throat constricting to the thought.

"Hey!" the man yelled, reaching his hand out to the Logan who'd escaped his grasp. Then, he ran over to Selene, dropping to his knees in an instant.

"S-Selene..." he stuttered, "you're okay, right?"

Without meaning to, his hands fell to her chest. It'd been discolored so horribly with violet that he'd mistaken her dress for the color. It was only when he felt how warm his hands were that he jumped back from fright.

"You..." his father grit, "did you cause this?"

Logan's head tilted from side to side, mouth stammering once he'd realized who he was addressing. "M-me?"

Then, like a knife, something jetted through the air for his throat. Wild intent, coming directly from his father's curved lips. "You. Tell me more," he said, directed at the man behind Logan.

"Well, I was coming back from my break when I'd caught this kid going through the controls. At first, I thought he was just being a curious little twat, but then I found this." The man reached his hand out into the air, revealing a humming orb. "He removed to IO-sphere to the room. How it's running, I'm not sure."

While the man spoke, Logan inched towards Selene. He took one more look.

Her breathing was rough, her skin was blue, and her eyes were dark. Even despite all that, she still made the effort to look back up at him. "L-Logan... is that... you?"

His father yelled once more: "Please, go and get help!"

The man jumped up, then turned his body. "O-oh, right!"

Then, his father looked back down. "Shh, don't talk, Selene. You'll get fixed up soon, and when you do, you won't have to worry about Logan again."

She tilted her head. "What... What did he do?"

"You don't have to think about that. Just try not to close your eyes. You'll survive this, and keep your Gift."

While the two were talking, the younger Logan felt his own chest go tight. "N-no... I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to!"

His father raised a hand at him. "Get the fuck out of here, you're not needed." Then, the space striated—gripping him like a hand to eject him from the room.

His back thrashed against the outside wall, knocking the wind out of him. He hacked for air, gripping his throat, then fell to his side. "No... please... father, I didn't mean to..." he spluttered, eyes shaking. He rolled around in a fetal position. "Please... I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to.... I didn't mean to..."

Then, tears fell from his eyes as he shook from the cold, except, with no Selene to comfort him like before.

"I had the rough shape of this memory, but I didn't know about all this..." Pixel said, meant for the person beneath it.

Logan—the older one—stood unmoving, fists coiled. He closed his eyes to act as a dam to the violent rush of emotion, but for naught.

Tears streamed from his eyes all the same.

"I d-didn't mean to..." he stammered, mimicking his younger self. Then, he dropped to his knees. "When I'd been replacing the room's IO-sphere with my own, I didn't realize that you were supposed to configure a projection visor. In other words, the wounds that the virtual beast gave were real."

His hands helped keep him up by pushing against the floor, but then something happened—red covered them, in exactly the same shape as when his younger self grabbed Selene.

Then, the world went black. Instead, her body was slumped on the ground, pulsing crimson from an injury of his doing.

"What's happening?" Pixel asked, clinging to his skin tight. Logan didn't have an answer.

Instead, he jumped back to his butt, shaking his head. "No... this can't be..." he grunted. "Why is my mind showing me this?"

Once he spoke, the sound of cracking resounded through the void. Selene's head turned behind her like an owl's—only, her neck didn't extend that far. Red dripped down from her empty eye sockets, entering her cold lips. "This is your fault, Logan. You're the reason that I lost my Gift."

The undead Selene grinned, jutting its arm forward unnaturally fast to face him. Logan took that as a cue to run away. "No, stop!" he roared, almost tripping on air. His arms flailed, his legs shook, and yet, it didn't feel like he was doing anything.

"Are you trying to run away? Like you did when I got in the hospital, Logan?" she asked, flying past him to where he was facing. Logan fell to his back.

Then the world bled again—not with color, but with intent. The ghastly figure dispelled along with it, revealing a single room.

Alone, the young Logan witnessed the flurry of beeping machines monitoring her body. IV bags dripped, heart monitors raced, but most of all, a single machine whirred.

A mana detector, reading: "0."

Logan's eyes hovered over the machine's reading for just a moment, then the knife in his hand. "Selene..." he stuttered, "if I kill you, then father might not kick me out of the house, and I'll be able to live the life I've always dreamed."

The knife glowed wonderfully, reflecting his will—his future. It was only a matter of action.

As it neared her throat, Logan imagined it. How her blood would trickle down, blotching the white sheets. How her breath would go dry, finally ending her life.

How his father would praise him as his only child.

His mind raced for the imagery—of a world where color didn't blanch. Of someone who loved him.

The knife's sharp hissed against her skin—red trailing its edge.

"You tried to kill her," the apparition said, coming from nowhere in particular."

At first, Logan found himself lost for words, but then something else sizzled from within. "That may be so, but I still found it." Then, his attention poured back to his younger self.

The younger Logan's heart raced, his hands trembled, but then...

He took one look at her hair. The black that he'd so resented, glinted just a tinge from the reflection of ambient light. In an instant, regret flooded his head.

Dropping the knife to the floor, he realized.

Then, the older Logan spoke up. "All that time, I'd correlated my dark past with Selene, seeing her as a perfect foil to my otherwise perfect life.

I'd always hated her hair, which was so perfectly black that it seemed otherworldly, but there's something to be said about the dark.

After a certain point, black can reflect the light, giving you glimmers of hope. That is what I found in Selene, and that was the realization I needed."

The world fell like open tiles, collapsed like dominos, and ushered forth like rising tides. Now, he was standing in a park.

Two were seated at its bench, nuzzling in each other's comfort. Older, perhaps by five years or so. Also fatter, a result of his overeating from stress.

"Selene... did you know?" the younger Logan asked, turning his face to the floor.

Selene narrowed her eyes. "Know what?"

"That I was the one who made you lose your Gift!"

For a moment, there was silence. Logan had been expecting her face to furrow into fury, or for her fist to curl into violence, but neither occurred. Instead, a smile.

"Come on, Logan. Why would you mention something like that?"

"Because I don't deserve your time. Ever since the incident, you've treated me the exact same, but don't you realize? I've made you powerless for the rest of your life. Don't you hate me, or want to curse me? Do something to me, please, so that I can finally atone for my sin—"

Selene embraced Logan into a hug, leaving him twitching from the suddenness. He pondered on returning her touch, but instead left his arms hovering in the air.

"Logan, I love you," she said.

"You... you do?"

"Yes, and you do too. That much, I can tell. I could never hate you for a stupid mistake you made. Plus, I know that you did it for me." Logan's eye twitched. He didn't respond. "You knew that my father was going to send me off to be a Spirit Executioner, so you took away the one thing he valued me for.

After I lost my Gift, he stopped coming by the house, or contacting me. It's safe to say that he doesn't wish to concern himself with me."

Finally accepting her, Logan closed his arms in, wrapping her tight. "Still, don't you wish you were in my shoes? I'll be attending Buford Academy when you were supposed to be the one going. Is there not any resentment in your heart, even just a little?"

"Not a bit," she responded, pushing her chin into his shoulder. "You'll always be the one closest to my heart, Logan. Even if you choked me out and took everything I cared about, I could still never find it in me to hate you."

Logan's eyes went wet, then he rushed to his feet. "Then, Selene, I swear this one thing on my life. I will fight for a world where children aren't indoctrinated into a system of power—one where you can live happy, free from control.

These falsehoods of strength dictating value—such things will no longer exist. Instead, I'll make it to where true value comes from character, not how much mana you can shoot out.

Even if the entire world is against me, I will rise up and conquer it! And then, when I reach the end, I'll hold you by the hand and declare you queen!"

She laughed, resting her back against the bench. "Is that so? Then I suppose you better get to it!" she spat back, getting up to nudge him by the scalp.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Logan laughed back, roughing his knuckle into her ear.

As the two continued play fighting, the older Logan smiled. "Don't you see, apparition? This memory is not a weakness, but a strength. Selene was the one who entered my world and showed me that there is always hope to be found."

Pixel tugged on a couple of his hairs, then leaned on his neck. She didn't say anything, but Logan understood what she felt.

"No," the apparition spat back. "That is not all, and you know it, Logan."

Then, his surroundings drooped. Like slime, Selene and Logan dissipated into the floor—assimilating with its color into an amalgamation. Instead, white filled the void, leaving just Logan inside it. "What?"

Then, faces popped up from the liquid. One, then three, then seven, then twenty.

Each familiar. They were past students who'd done him wrong.

"This is the world that you face, Logan. Curse at it, and you may find your strength," the apparition said, suspended far above.