Another few dozen days pass by.
The weather was gradually getting colder.
I had come to visit Adam Hyung.
“The weather is getting colder,” I said to him.
As I spoke, I cleared the fallen leaves off his headstone.
I still couldn't accept that Hyung was gone.
It felt less like he had died...and more like he had just temporarily gone somewhere else.
It felt like he would soon reappear and greet me.
When that happened, I felt I would welcome him with a smile and no resistance.
Maybe that's why.
I still hadn't inscribed his epitaph.
It didn’t feel right to write farewell words for someone who didn’t seem gone.
“...I’ll come back again.”
After spending some time in front of the grave, I walked away.
-Chirp! Chirp!
As I walked, a bird that had recently become friendly with me landed on my shoulder.
It was a bluebird.
Interestingly, it followed me so closely that I even named it 'Lua.'
“You're here again today, Lua.”
I whispered to my little friend as I gently stroked the bird.
Recently, Lua only approached me when Sien wasn't around.
“The weather is getting colder, don’t you think?”
-Chirp! Chirp!
I paused for a moment to spend some time with Lua.
Interacting with the bird brought a sense of peace to my heart.
Soft feathers. Adorable appearance. It felt like I was sharing my heart with this wordless creature.
Lua accepted my touch, climbing up my shoulder and rubbing its face against mine.
I smiled gently, enjoying the soft sensation.
“All right, you can go now.”
I kissed Lua softly and let it fly away.
The bird soared into the distance as if it understood my words.
“...”
I didn’t know if this bluebird could withstand the coming cold.
I wondered if it would fly off to find a warmer place.
In my heart, I was preparing to say goodbye to another friend I had grown close to.
Today, I intended to finish the tasks left by Gale and me.
The Reiker Household Welcomes New Retainers
We had many new retainers join us.
Maids to assist me. Butlers. And even a scribe.
As much as I was lacking, the family was filling up with talented people.
Baran, too, stayed by my side and supported my decisions.
Since I didn't have a clear successor, Baran held the next most significant power in the Reiker family.
...Though Baran didn’t seem particularly keen on it.
As the family grew, talks of a new house emerged.
There were suggestions to tear down the house I originally lived in and build a grand mansion.
The whole village and the Red Flames group agreed, and even Gale, the scribe, and Sien supported the idea, but...
For some reason, I wasn’t inclined.
I actually knew the reason. I just didn’t voice it out loud.
Besides, there were many other pressing matters at the moment.
Demolishing the house could be postponed to a distant future.
Today, after working all day, nightfall quickly approached.
I re-established the rules for the territory, checked the activities of the roaming bandits and mercenary groups, and dealt with the endless stream of letters regarding political marriages.
Then, I heard the sound of the Red Flames members returning from clearing the forest.
Their laughter and playful chatter signaled the end of the day.
“Gale, let’s call it a day. Thank you for your hard work.”
With that sound, I declared the end of the day.
“Yes, it’s been a long day.”
I looked at Gale as he stood up and said,
“...Thank you, always.”
Gale always just shook his head at that.
“I’m only atoning to Adam.”
That night, as I went outside, many people were already waiting for me.
Mostly women.
Both Gale and I, as well as the butler Desmond, were surprised at the sight.
At the forefront, being pushed forward, was Sien.
Behind her, Theodore’s wife shouted,
“Captain! No...Lord Reiker! Ah...the title still doesn’t stick...”
“Captain is fine.”
“Then, Captain! Sien has a request today...!”
Thanks to Sien’s efforts as a former saint, the villagers treated her warmly.
I looked down at Sien, puzzled.
Though she said she had a request, her face was just turning red.
“...What is it, Sien?”
When I asked, the women behind her cheered.
More questions swirled in my mind as Sien tried harder to hide her expression.
She twisted her hair nervously.
“...”
When Sien couldn’t bring herself to speak, Theodore’s wife raised her voice again.
“Captain, She has been meaning to say this for a while... Sien’s current living quarters are too shabby. There’s hardly any sunlight, there’s mold, and the bed is unstable...”
“...”
“But... there are empty rooms in your house, right?”
I finally understood where the conversation was heading.
As I let out a brief laugh, they seemed to take it as a sign of approval, and all the women giggled again.
Theodore’s wife, the most enthusiastic, continued speaking.
“So... if it’s okay with you, how about giving Sien a room in your house?”
The crowd grew as more members of the group joined.
I looked down at Sien before the gathering grew any larger.
Seeing my silence, Sien looked up at me with growing unease.
When I saw her eyes, I finally asked,
“Is that it?”
Sien swallowed nervously and asked,
“...Is it not okay?”
I thought for a moment.
...But then I wondered, is there really a reason to hesitate?
So I gently replied to her,
“...Let’s go.”
.
.
.
Several days passed as Sien and I lived together in the house.
As always, we didn’t force ourselves to close the distance between us.
Unexpected events happened from time to time.
If I thought I was alone in the house and walked around with my top off, Sien would often be startled and drop to the floor.
Despite having seen my body plenty when we were young, she was still that surprised.
Even those moments became a source of laughter.
“You must’ve seen all sorts of things in the war.”
“Even so, I haven’t seen the bare body of someone I like...”
“...”
Sien occasionally showed an extremely honest side.
As if to atone for her previous lies.
And I found her words warmly endearing.
As I grew accustomed to and happy with the days spent together with her.
.
.
.
Time Passes,
Another night came and went, as time continued to flow.
As always, the darkest thoughts crept in during the night.
I found myself drinking, ruminating over past farewells.
I tried not to think about Ner and Arwin, but as I lowered my guard with alcohol, I silently remembered them.
It had been a long time since I heard any news of them.
I wondered if they were living well.
Now that my anger and fury had subsided... I sincerely hoped they were happy.
I could now let go of their betrayal and their attempts to kill me to some extent.
It was difficult, but I tried to do so.
I tried to remember only the good memories.
-Swish.
As I continued my solitary thoughts, Sien sat beside me.
In the dark living room, lit by a single candle, she took her place next to me while I drank.
I looked into her eyes.
Her dark eyes gazed back at me.
“...Are you struggling again?” she asked softly.
“...”
She didn’t need me to say anything; she could read my heart.
Sometimes, she feels hurt more than I did.
She often ran her fingers over my scars, frowning at them.
But more than the physical scars, Sien looked closely at the ones embedded in my heart.
Her actions, though sometimes embarrassing, always provided great strength to me.
Who would have thought our relationship could move forward like it had before?
“...Bell,” she said.
“...”
“...It’s okay to struggle.”
“...”
“I’m here with you now.”
“...”
“...Let’s just live happily from now on.”
Sien slowly ran her fingers through my hair and placed her hand on my cheek.
I simply looked at her in silence.
In that moment, our eyes simultaneously drifted towards each other’s lips.
In the quiet room.
With only the candlelight flickering.
Sien slowly closed her eyes.
The moment felt so natural.
I closed my eyes too, slowly leaning in towards her.
Our lips met, finally, after such a long time.
*****
"Aaaahhhhh!!! Aaaaaahhhh!!"
Tree roots pulled away from Arwin's back.
At the same time, her sweat-soaked, exhausted body collapsed to the ground.
-Splat!
Arwin's body landed on the damp cave floor.
She had to lie there like a corpse in that filthy place.
Though the ritual was over, she couldn't move a muscle.
Having borne unbearable pain and incessantly screaming, her body had been exhausted for a long time.
It was as if the World Tree had tortured her just to the brink of death.
“......Ah...........Ah....”
Arwin lay on the floor, barely breathing.
Her whole body shivered from the cold.
Cold sweat drenched her.
No warmth reached her.
Her powerless eyes soon spotted something.
A necklace, which had been hanging around her neck, had fallen in front of her eyes.
The World Tree leaves, symbolizing her happiest moments.
One leaf was withering, curling up, but the other was gradually regaining its green color.
-Thud... Thud...
She felt relieved knowing that Berg was erasing the pain, but her heart ached as it seemed Berg was also forgetting her.
Arwin kept thinking.
If Berg saw her in her current state... would he worry and get angry like he used to?
Tears welled up as she whispered,
“It hurts so much, Berg...”
Lying on the ground, she spoke to her husband who would never come.
“It’s so hard...”
How many days had it been since she parted ways with Berg?
Her sense of time had become strangely twisted.
It felt like years had passed since she parted from Berg.
Considering the short lifespan of humans... she needed to return to him quickly.
Since their separation, Arwin performed the sacrificial ritual daily.
The Elders had agreed to a negotiation to learn how to share lifespan.
As Arwin lay on the cave floor catching her breath, she muttered a spell.
The only source of strength that kept her going during these tough times.
It was seeing Berg through her bird’s eyes.
Viewing Berg through the bird’s vision was a gamble.
Sometimes it brought her overwhelming happiness.
Because Berg always smiled kindly at the bluebird, treating it with the same gentleness he used to show her.
Through the bird’s eyes, she could feel Berg’s affection.
She was stroked by him... and even experienced his kisses indirectly.
The ritual brought both heart-bursting happiness and a void from losing it.
Arwin cast the spell, anxious to see what she might witness today.
-Swoosh...
Her bluebird perched on a tree overlooking Berg’s house.
-Chirp! Chirp!
It was night in the outside world.
Under the World Tree's roots, time passed unnoticed.
‘...Go to Berg,’ Arwin asked the bird.
While her vision was shared, she still felt the cold, damp cave floor vividly.
The bird chirped and flew to Berg’s house.
Through the window, she saw Berg.
Lying helpless on the cave floor, Arwin smiled at the sight of him.
She couldn’t understand why her heart hurt so much.
“Today, too... I missed you...” Arwin whispered words no one could hear.
She reached out with an empty hand to touch him, but it only grasped air.
Berg sat at his desk, drinking.
He sat there with a pained expression.
Why did tears fall so easily at this simple sight?
Arwin’s tears seemed unfixable now.
She dared to hope.
Maybe she could approach him for comfort.
Berg always smiled at the bird’s cute antics.
Maybe she could offer him brief solace.
‘...Could you go inside...?’ Arwin asked the bird.
The bird lightly tapped the window with its beak.
-Step... Step...
At that moment, the saintess appeared from somewhere.
Arwin’s breath caught at the sight of the saintess living with Berg.
“........Huh?”
That house... it was hers and Berg’s.
It was their nest.
Why was that woman there?
Arwin knew that Berg and the saintess had grown closer.
That was why seeing Berg through the bird was a gamble.
Facing such a scene brought incomparable pain.
‘...It’s my place,’ Arwin whispered to herself.
‘...My position.’
Her fists clenched, and her teeth ground together.
Yet, she couldn’t look away.
Sometimes, imagination is the greatest monster.
Looking away would still be painful.
Maybe nothing would happen between them.
With her heart broken, Arwin kept watching, clinging to hope.
But, against her expectations, the saintess began to gently stroke Berg's face.
“...Don’t touch him...”
Arwin whispered.
The two didn’t take their eyes off each other.
Arwin could see from afar that Berg was emotionally leaning on the saintess.
“...Berg...please...”
Arwin pleaded, reaching out to the empty space, her hand touching nothing.
The saintess’ eyes began to close slowly.
“No...no...!”
Berg’s upper body moved slowly towards the saintess.
“No...please...!”
Their lips met.
Berg and the saintess shared a long, loving kiss, pulling each other closer by the nape of their necks, expressing their love.
“Stop!!!”
The agony tearing through Arwin's heart broke the spell.
“Ha...ha...!”
Arwin awoke from the nightmare-like vision, finding herself on the cold cave floor.
Berg wasn’t there.
She was alone, shivering in the cold.
“...Ah...ah...”
She couldn’t believe this wretched reality.
From feeling warmth beside Berg... to this desolate state.
Kissing Berg was supposed to be her future.
She should have been in the saintess’ place.
“Sob...sob...”
She was supposed to share warmth with him, to kiss him.
They should have whispered love to each other night after night.
What would it feel like to kiss him?
How warm would it be to stay by his side?
“Sniff...sob...”
But that was a lost future. An irretrievable moment.
Knowing this, she could only cry.
After a long while.
Arwin slowly lifted herself from the floor.
The hair Berg used to stroke fell around her face.
She stood up, wobbling after sitting on her bent legs for so long.
Without anyone's help, she stood up alone.
She had to prepare for tomorrow's sacrificial ritual.
Yet, after experiencing all this pain, Arwin felt a change within herself.
Even for someone who endured 160 years of torture, this was an unbearable pain.
She blinked with hollow eyes... and took a step forward.
Her heart and mind were beginning to twist.
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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