Life (37 minus two) - Chapter (two to the power of five) - These Feels Step Heavenward
Prince Himmel's consciousness slowly came back. He was held on his feet by a knight and his gaze drifted to the still-burning arm on the ground. It was severed before the flames could reach his shoulder and burn him whole.
This close to his plans becoming reality, it was not how his birthday party should've ended. He felt trapped, tricked. Did the [Saintess] know he'd be up against the Goddess' fucking [Champion]? Obviously. Why did she tell him to kill the book mimic? Envy? To put the halfling girl in her place?
Regardless, this was all a fiasco. He should call them off...
"HUSBAND!" A pained female voice cried.
Himmel looked in the direction of the sound and saw the kitsune [Saintess] running toward him. His heart fluttered. Was she worried about his well-being? Did he impress her enough to get her as his [Queen]? As if gently carried by the winds, the woman jumped over the nobles on the grandstand, six tails of different colors trailing behind her like festive streamers in the wind. She graciously landed on the arena and dashed toward him.
Himmel smiled despite all the pain and reached out with his good arm. "My beloved, you—"
The [Saintess] ran past him, the wind following and blowing a cloud of dust on the [Prince]'s face. Himmel spun and lost his precarious balance. If not for the loyal [Knight] holding him, he'd eat some dirt. He looked with abject horror as the Kitsune approached the halfling and hugged her.
"Husband? Wait aren't they both fe..."
He fainted again.
*
*
*
*
I could hear the nobles gossiping about the motives that led Himmel to challenge us. No less than half of them were stealing glances at the [Saintess]. That damn crazy vixen.
Technically not her hands as I was the gloves covering them. I didn't get a chance to explain. Her enthusiasm faded as she looked at the barreling ball of fur and woman and ball gown dashing our way.
"HUSBAND!"
Ugh. Stupid misguided [Saintess].
"Nethe! That's rude!" Barbara protested.
The [Saintess] picked Barbara up like a child and hugged her. "Are you hurt?" She asked.
Barbara was fidgeting and her heart rate soared. "No, I'm fine. Nethe didn't let me take a single HP of damage."
"Not you, woman. My husband!" The kitsune shifted her gaze to the jacket over Barbara's gown. Me.
"If you can joke like that, 'hubby', then you're fine," she smiled.
Arista and Lily approached. Moments later, two battalions of [Royal Knights] did too.
"You are all under arrest. His Majesty demands your presence."
You know what they say, out of the frying pan...
As the Royal Guard escorted us, I noticed the [Adamantite Thinblade] had vanished from the ground. Someone took it without me (or anyone else) noticing. Weird. The [Unicorn King's Spear] could remain there where [Prince] Himmel dropped it. Nobody could pick it up and I could summon it back to me with a thought.
*
*
We went back into the palace, and down another set of corridors, to the main throne room. If not for the situation, I would think they were giving us a tour of the outer palace, because I was sure we crossed the same hallway about three times.
I told Barbara on our private telepathic bond.
Too bad I couldn't remember what happened during the hour I suppressed the Brood-bitch's curse.
Barbara giggled.
[Fate Magic Affinity] was a Perk not affected by the curse in this life. I could sense Fate, that schadenfreude-loving bitch casting her gaze upon me.
The word "mansplain" came to mind but that was not what I was doing.
Barbara fidgeted a bit,
I pulled my body off of her hands, arms, and torso, faster than when I did the opposite for dramatic effect. Kasumi, as I learned was the [Saintess]' name, stared at us with a pouty frown.
"Please let me hold him," She begged.
"Nethe is a girl mimic," Barbara stated in her brattish voice. "And the both of us are still mad at you for pushing the [Prince] into dueling us."
"Pfft, you would be fine," She scoffed. "There's nothing in this world that can defeat my husband."
Some knights glared at her, then at me. Yeah, go ahead, blame the monster in the palace. Shows how progressive this world is, despite thousands of years. I mean, Earth's civilization reached space in half the time these guys took to reach the Renaissance. Spoiler alert, we weren't there yet.
The blame for all that was magic. The smartest minds this world could make were too busy trying to achieve personal power and secretive eldritch secrets, rather than cooperating to push the boundaries of scientific knowledge. When an [Archmage] died, most of their knowledge was lost. Also, people didn't need technological solutions when magic could do it better. Thomas Edison would starve with his electrical light bulbs against the glowing enchanted orbs one could buy for a copper in bygone Windemere. Marlowe had all pupils craft them as exercises, and they had a surplus of the stuff. They dumped the enchanted crystal orbs for cheap on the market.
"Bunch of primitive morons," I grumbled.
"Nethe!" Barbara scolded. I flinched like a newborn puppy. She stared upwards at the [Saintess], "Nethe is not your husband. What happened at the [Empire] stays at the [Empire]. Leagues under the Maelstrom, that is."
It was common knowledge that the Empire sank after the fight between the two Goddesses. In truth, it was taken away by Pandora, leaving a continent-sized hole in the world which filled with churning water that was magically churning to this day, making it the most dangerous ocean of all times. At the time, nobody on the planet knew the Empire was basically isekai'd, not even me, though.
Some guards took offense and it was a testament to their discipline that a fight didn't break off in the middle of the palace.
When we finally reached the majestic doors leading to the throne room, I understood the detour. It was to give the nobles time to move from the arena to the throne room.
We would either get a bribe to relinquish our claim on the [Crown Prince]'s life or mom would have another crown to her collection.
The whole detour charade was pointless as they made us wait for more than half an hour before calling us in. With a perfect rectangle of [Royal Knights] boxing us, we were ushered into the main aisle.
House Hamilton and their faction were bunched in the corner further away from the [King]. Isaac gave us a nod that was supposed to be reassuring.
If anyone had to guess, was the [King] pissed? Yes, he was. As pissed as a baby's bed when the baby slept without his diapers. In the night the baby drank a gallon of water right before bedtime. He was so pissed he could fertilize the Royal Gardens just by rolling on the dirt. He was so pissed his mom would... never mind. I think that's enough.
"I'll dispense the formalities," The man on the throne growled and went straight to the point. "Why did you involve my son in a dispute between two factions of the Church?"
*
shift-8
Nobles gasped like it was the last episode of their favorite 'soup' opera. I got the term from mom's memories but it seems that the nobility in her original world used to have supper at the grand theater. Try not to spill the broth with all the drumming, then public shame on those who did. Weird but I can see the purpose of it.
Arista, Lily, and Barbara turned their eyes on the troublemaker.
"We are not affiliated with the Church," [Saintess] Kasumi stated matter-of-factly. "And this was not to settle a dispute. I'm not at odds with my Hub... with them."
"Then what was that charade? Why did you have to impose such humiliation upon my House? I should have you all executed!"
Kasumi's tails raised, puffed up like the heckles of an angry dog. "You can surely try, your Majesty," She purred menacingly. "But the lake you see every morning outside your balcony should be a stark reminder of what happened last time the King of Pekothas angered the Goddess. Regardless, you Satyrs are too hasty to claim yourselves descendants of the Goddess' bloodline, but I see no familial love in your eyes."
"Served him right for weaponizing my mom," Lily spat.
Kasumi continued, her voice rising and divine magic gathering around her "You stand before the Goddess' chosen. We are the fulcrum of this world's fate. You, a mere [King], dare defy the Goddess' [Saintess] and her [Champion]? In the presence of three of her Aspects? Not to mention..." She looked at me. "No, that's it."
I told her, opening myself to a telepathic reply.
Kasumi winked at me. Barbara grunted. Oh, great. These two hated each other. Or was it just Barbara being possessive? I wished these feels stepped heavenward instead.
The gathered nobles gasped and started whispering stuff to each other. The [King] tried to hide his worry but he knew very well how precarious was one's rule, especially when they weren't the highest-leveled creature in the room.
The [System] offered Royalty a slew of advantages, in particular [Royal Exp Tithe]. Leeching the Exp of an entire country was a great way to gain levels without shedding a single drop of sweat. Despite that, it also demanded the Royals look after their people. The power granted by Levels and Perks stymied treason and assassination but only so far. I believed he was revaluating his approach right now.
"Why did you ask my son to kill the mimic?" He asked, sounding tired.
"Your arrogant uncouth cur of a son dared to ask my hand in marriage out of the blue," Kasumi bursted. "Without courtship, without a single rose, without asking my chaperone," She nodded at the mermaid. "Such insult should be punished accordingly, so I told him to go offer himself as an Exp sacrifice. But my Husb... Netherbane and Ambrose were merciful. You should be thanking them for sparing your firstborn, for they had all the right to claim his life under your own law, Your Majesty." Her tails crackled with unbridled magic.
"You wouldn't dare!" The King barked.
"It is you who's courting death!" Kasumi cackled. "You could have forced your son to own his mistakes, but instead you set this circus here, to try and corner us. But I call it malarkey! And now, feel the Goddess' displeasure!"
Golden light emanated from the [Saintess]. The divinity tasted familiar but still made my pages quail in fear. The Kitsune started to float in the air as the palace rumbled with a faint earthquake.
"Kneel before the Matriarch's might!" She commanded, and everyone but us dropped whatever they were holding and fell on their knees.
"You spurned the Goddess's gifts! So shall be it. Sever the bloodline! Usurpers who claim to be the Goddess' Kin!"
"THIS IS DIVINE PUNISHMENT!" Thunder rumbled as the [Saintess] words reverberated. Many among those in attendance started to cry even if they weren't Satyrs.
"No longer you shall claim ancestry among the fair pink-haired star elves! No longer shall you claim ancestry among the horse lords of the great barbarian plains! No longer you shall be kin to either the Goddess or the Unicorn King!"
"A curse upon you and your kin! You shall now be descendants of humans and common goats! A third of your magic shall be drained to repay the Goddess of the power she bestowed upon your wretched bloodline! No longer noble Satyrs! Fauns shall your kin be called, and knowledge of your sin shall be granted to all of you and your descendants, for all eternity! You shall be craven, horny creatures who wish only to mate! Weak! Dumb! So shall it be!"
"Cursed be thy name, King of Ruin!" Kasumi crowed and finished her spell.
And so the [Saintess] clamored, and so the System and the Universe answered. Magic gathered around the [King] and all Satyrs in the room. They rose in the air, as stars swirled around them. They screamed in pain and their bodies changed. Their stature shriveled, and their mighty horse legs became those crooked haunches of goats. Horns sprouted from their foreheads and their pupils became square.
I could feel the trickle of magic coming from them as Kasumi's {Saintess Magic} took hold. That would be a huge boon to breaking my curses and made me believe she had concocted that plan for a while now, maybe since the [Royal Knights] came to fetch us. It definitely wasn't something she came up on the spot.
The light faded and the once-proud and majestic Satyrs were dropped on the ground. Their legs had coarse hair, their horns reminded me of goats, their eyes were unnerving. Their skin was wrinkled and their forms hunched. Their stature was halfway between a halfling and a human, out from their lofty seven feet in average height.
The king screamed but all that came out was a pained bleat.
Nobles fled the scene, a few of them vomiting at the sight of the naked Fauns. Their penises were long thin pink straws of flesh, like those of goats instead of the human-like most sentient races had. Good luck finding a female who wanted that. At least Kasumi didn't turn the species into an all-male one, like orcs and goblins.
I couldn't help but feel that Kasumi had overreacted. Even the [Knights] abandoned their duties and ran away through the doors.
"Fuck Pekothas and all their [Kings]," Lily voiced her honest feelings. She suffered the most under their deranged whims. "Let's get the fuck out of here."
Kasumi landed graciously, the light fading and her tails resting down. She sighed, "what a rush! I never spent so much magic at once. But I gained seven points of Faith."
"Let's leave while we can. And Kasumi, for the love of the Goddess, don't fuck it up more than you need to."
"Spoiler alert," Lily chirped with a lilting voice, "She already did."
"Hold my hands," Arista called. "Kasumi burned the wards, I'm teleporting us."
We made ourselves scarce, leaving the palace through the Ethereal plane. Arista dropped us outside the gates in the crowded main square.
The passersby quickly gave us a wide berth. Not only teleportation magic was as rare as good-natured undead, but the way we were dressed also let commoners know that getting involved with us was a surefire way to get in trouble.
Funny how they repaired and renovated the palace square for the [Prince]'s birthday party. While the rest of the city suffered and most people didn't have a roof to sleep under yet even months after the Labyrinth incident. Some Satyrs among the people were still fleeing the scene after they were transformed by Kasumi's spell. It granted them the knowledge that the King screwed up royally and they were punished by the Goddess.
"We should go back to the Academy, Nethe," Barbara said. "I guess it's goodbye, then. Your Holiness, I wish you safe travels."
"Wait, we aren't..."
"Kasumi!" Arista shushed the Kitsune.
"I think it unwise to split right now. We should—"
"THE [KING] IS DEAD, LONG LIVE [KING] HIMMEL!" The [Criers] started to shout all over the square. The people had mixed feelings but the dead [King] could not punish them. Therefore, they celebrated the ascension of a new [King].
"What the hell?" Arista gasped and then glowered at the [Saintess].
"I didn't go through all this trouble just to kill him at the end. What's the point?" She whined. "He was supposed to suffer. I don't know why or who killed him but I had nothing to do with it. I swear on the Tabard of Windemere."
I could feel Barbara's heart skip a beat at the mention of the fabled long-lost Realm. Which proved to me that Kasumi wasn't Lorna's reincarnation. Her claim to be one of the twin sisters could be true, though.
"Well, we should go regardless," Lily urged. "Or trouble will find us."
A monotonal voice came from behind us. "No, trouble already found you."
We turned around and saw her. A human woman, raven-haired with a round face and a stubby nose, dressed neck to toe in black leathers and with some wicked-looking daggers strapped to her waist.
"You guys..." She said, the faintest hint of disappointment in her detached voice. "You guys forgot about me."
*
*
Behind the woman was a halfling girl, dressed in the same way, with the damned [Adamantite Thinblade] on her waist and a ring I knew very well from drawings on mom's book. Oh, boy.
"Apricot?" Arista called. "Where were you?"
"You forgot about me," Apricot, AKA the 'Death Princess' or 'First Hero', complained. "Don't try to deny it!" She accused, then mimicked Arista's voice.
"Rose is in Auvanini, helping the people of Yutis. Alloralla and Snowdrop are adventuring in the barbarian plains, doing something about the Unicorn King's legacy. Lakerta is in the Scorched Continent, helping the mermaids of Atlantis in my stead."
"No mention of poor Apricot," poor Apricot bemoaned.
"We had no idea where you ran off to!" Arista protested.
"Nice try but no cookie," Apricot deadpanned. "I'm not angry. I... don't care."
"Wait," Lily interjected. "Apricot, did you have anything to do with the [King]'s death?"
Blaming the [Assassin] for the assassination was a bit rude and I thought...
"Yes," Apricot answered like one answers if they like jam on their breakfast toast. "But I didn't kill the [King]. I killed the former [King]."
"Who hired you?" Arista demanded.
"The [King]."
"The [King] hired you to kill the [King]."
"No."
"Then what?"
"The [King] hired me to kill the former [King]."
"Wait," I butted in the dumb exchange. "Was the one who hired you the [King] when he hired you?"
"No. He was the [Crown Prince]," Apricot replied with disinterest as if it was obvious.
"His Highness Himmel hired an [Assassin] to kill his own father?" Barbara gasped.
"His Majesty," Apricot corrected. "The Dynasty administrative powers have been passed on."
"You are correct, Apricot," I said. "We forgot about you. Sorry."
She made the faintest smile, "Apology accepted. Thank you, Percival."
Kasumi wheezed and shuddered, letting out a faint squeal.
"It's Netherbane Syllabus now. Netherbane is fine."
"I stand corrected. Netherbane."
"And who is the young lady with you?" Arista asked, eyeballing the legendary sword whose tip was almost dragging on the pavement.
"My apprentice," Apricot presented the girl with pride. "We came to retrieve her sword, then that guy learned we were here and hired me. We needed the money anyway."
"Her sword," Arista drawled with her teeth together.
"She's Raleigh Whisper's reincarnation," I stated, then groaned. "It seems everyone is coming back at once."
"Is that so?" Apricot asked with interest. "I haven't found the Master's reincarnation yet."
We all felt she was about to vanish and go on a wild goose hunt. Arista rested a hand on Apricot's shoulder. "Don't go."
"Okay."
"Raleigh Whisper, the [Immortal Agent]," Lily called. "Do you have the... yeah, there's the ring."
"Yes, I have this ring," the girl fidgeted with the piece of jewelry. "Since birth. Master Apricot found me and decided to teach me her ways."
She seemed timid and afraid we would take the ring from her. Only one person could do it, and I had no intention to.
"It's fine... What's your name?"
"It's Elise," she looked down.
"Elise, you don't have anything to be afraid of. We won't hurt you. Or take your ring away. It's yours, you deserve it. Though I recommend stowing the sword in it."
"I don't have enough MP."
I reached out with a ribbon and touched the ring. The [Thinblade] vanished. "I think I can upgrade it with a better Core, maybe a dragon one, and increase the size of the MP pool and boost Mp generation. Yes, adamantite is a bitch to manipulate with magic."
"I'd like that, Goddess ma'am," she delivered her reply with her eyes on the cobblestones.
"Raise your head. Raleigh was a good friend, and he earned every boon he gained. Did you read their memoirs? From your past lives?"
"Most of it, yes. And I'm sorry for stealing your book for the Headmaster."
That took me by surprise. Was she talking about the [Lost Sage's Insatiable Journal]?
"Let's get out of here," I commanded. "All of us. Back to Barbara's room at the Academy dorms. Arista, would you please?"
"Yes," She grabbed Apricot's arm and opened a portal for us.