NOVEL NEXT Life 35 - Chapter 26 - Luncheon Crawler Carl - The Grating of Feral Dads
He didn't elaborate more on who the mystery female guest was. As we left the daunting arena slash "people auction" grounds, a group of servants led by a knight from House Hamilton awaited us.
"My Lady Ambrose, Lord Netherbane," the polite knight said as he bowed, "if you deign to follow me, my liege Margrave Hamilton expects your company."
Barbara nodded, "Lead the way, please."
"Follow me," he turned left and started to walk slowly. The rest of the servants and guards didn't move until Barbara did, then they fell in behind her.
He led us to the inner palace, a veritable maze of corridors, stairs, and rooms. All of them laden with old enchantments, dormant illusions, and mental magic primed to confuse and disorient invaders. The walls were magically reinforced and would give even someone like me a bit of trouble. I think the fastest way to get past them would be to use an Adamantite weapon to disrupt the magic, then the [Unicorn King's Spear] growth power as a battering ram. It was protected even from Ethereal intruders, something that mom seldom encountered.
It was designed to be confusing but the lead knight knew his path. We went to a side section that probably housed prominent visiting nobles of the upper echelons, like the good Margrave. He knocked on the door, and a deep baritone voice called us in.
Isaac, his adoptive father, the girls, and their parents sat along a dinner table set for afternoon tea. A row of butlers and maids waited on the guests, keeping their goblets and plates full.
"Misses Ambrose and Netherbane," Margrave Hamilton greeted, "please join us and help yourselves to the delicacies. Miss Netherbane, my son informed you of your tastes, I procured some masterwork papers from the Holy Kingdom of Auvani."
I had to remind myself that for convenience, I had convinced the girls I was a female mimic (there was no such thing) and I was in the shape of a doll right now. Obviously, the flesh beings would treat me like a lady.
At the spot reserved for us, a tall halfling chair was set next to a lectern, of all things. On a multi-species culture, as they had here, it was very important to accommodate for all sorts of body types and make sure everyone sat at relatively the same eye level, regardless of body size. Most fancy dining rooms had a chair closet where they stored chairs of several types, for thick tails, thin tails, even some floor pillows for larger species like minotaurs or the larger types of beast-kin. But I guess it was the first time they had to set a spot at the table for a book guest.
But I was in doll shape and the butler assigned to our area quickly flagged a maid who rushed into the chair closet and brought out the smallest chair they had for gnomes, I guess. Maybe it was for fairies, even. The difference in height between an average halfling and an average gnome was almost a head but this chair was even smaller. The lectern disappeared into the butler's storage ring as the chair found its place. Interestingly enough, the butler wasn't a [Butler].
> Level 58 male human [Bodyguard]
"Thank you," Barbara whispered to the butler as she set me on the itsy bitsy tall chair.
The butler lifted the cloche over the dish before me and I saw several types of colored paper folded into rudimentary origami shapes. A great deal of thought was put into this as they probably didn't want to present me just a pile of random paper. Some were even folded into food shapes as I could see what was probably a pink origami shrimp and a green paper fan that was probably a leaf of lettuce. Under the papers, I noticed a piece of wavy silk lace. Spider silk. I would politely consider it a liner and just eat the stuff made of plant fiber.
The day would be punctuated with several opportunities to eat and they used the food as just another type of social grease. However, for those waylaid by the "Transcendental Auction Program" like ourselves, this was the first opportunity to grab some grub since arriving. Thus they let us eat in quiet for a while but the first dish was intentionally small. Once we finished with it, stealthy maids smoothly swapped the dirty dishes and cutlery for clean, empty ones. The maid that picked my plate tilted it slightly to show the butler I hadn't touched the silk lace lining.
Then people started with small, inconsequential small talk and I did what mimics did best, pretend to be an object and tune out the conversation. It was rather easy and comfortable. I only rose out of my mimic stupor when I heard the good Margrave call my name.
"So, Netherbane, Isaac told me you subverted his whole build plan."
> Level 74 male quarter-elf-quarter-beast-kin-half-human [Aristocrat Knight].
Build as in character build, he meant. I raised my head and flexed the head fabric to make my face less round and give it some expression. "I think I am fixing it and saving Isaac from committing a grave mistake. He can't sacrifice his future lives' progress for the sake of convenience in this one. When he next reincarnates, he shall have two [Capstone] Perks instead of a single one. That's the mindset that brought me to my current condition."
The other nobles listened with great attention and interest but none of them said anything. Both them and I knew this was a test by Hamilton, the senior.
"He could still reach level 100 and pick a [Capstone]," the Margrave countered.
"Yes, if he wished to settle for crap. With his Class selection and Attribute Point distribution? He would take one of the least desirable [Capstones]. I believe Lord Isaac and ladies Eleanora and Elizabeth deserve better than mediocrity. My friends will all carve their names in the annals of history. I hope it will be in a way that will make them and those around proud but they shall do so nonetheless."
One would find only Dukes and the Royal Family above a Margrave. My way of talking to Hamilton shocked the other nobles. Elizabeth's father even glared at the girl. Hamilton was either accommodating my brashness or plotting a stealthy comeback. I provoked him exactly to see what he was made of. We should earn an audience with the King before midnight, I was certain of it. The sponsorship of their noble houses lost a bit of its importance. I would burn this bridge gladly unless they proved to be worth both Barbara's and my time.
"Which Attribute did you pick for my son, then?" He challenged with an angry mask.
"After extensive deliberation, Isaac picked Soul. I only advised him on the potential of each Attribute and gave my opinion as to how they rank. If it's worth anything, I too intend to pick Soul this time around."
Margrave Hamilton's indignation and anger rose up a notch while his restraint loosened a bit. He almost growled, "You speak with certainty. How can you be sure that you'll reach the level cap? People be... bet their lives on doing so and lost."
I was pretty sure he was about to say "people better than me". I knew that reaching the level cap, especially the steep climb of the nineties was gruesome. For short-lived and narrow-minded mortals, it was either a lifetime of sacrifice and dedication or retiring early and enjoying the benefits of power. Anyone in the fourth tier was a powerhouse, and I bet that if one appeared out of the blue tomorrow, the King would appease and bribe such a person with lands, wealth, and prestige. Between a life of luxury or the merciless grind added to the risk of death, it was easy to see why people didn't reach the level cap.
"I am a hundred percent sure that I won't reach the level cap on my own, my good Margrave Hamilton," I said with a straight face and flat tone. A pause to let it sink, then the punchline. "But do not mistake this for fake humbleness. It is just a matter of fact. I am a [Crystallomancer]'s familiar. The one earning all the Exp to get us to the level cap is my mistress Barbara here. I just grant her a ninety-five percent Exp bonus."
Props for the Margrave, he had a high Willpower and Ego scores. Lesser nobles would already be begging for the Death Princess treatment in his place. I sensed a few {Appraise} attempts from him, though.
"Lord Margrave, if you want to know anything about my Status, you need only to ask. I'll answer one question with absolute truth."
"What are your Attribute scores?" He asked straight away.
I cast an Illusion spell to make a Status Window float behind me.
Strength: 157
Dexterity: 209
Endurance: 210
Mind: 148
Willpower: 140
Charisma: 118
Magic: 455
Faith: 85
Ego: 129
Luck: 191
Soul: 129
HP 1,436,241
MP 2,978,572
Eleanora's mother choked on her wine. All the other occupants of the room did nothing but stare at the floating panel. Underneath the table, the Margrave clenched his fist around the pommel of his blade.
"Some scholars believed that monsters had higher Attribute scores than people to compensate for their lack of reason and thought, but that is too much," Elizabeth's father broke the silence as he rambled.
Margrave Hamilton stood up. "I have a Perk that allows me to gauge how much damage each of my blows caused compared to the target's maximum HP. Netherbane, allow me a single strike. I'll use only a few Perks so that even if I deliver a critical hit, it won't cause more than two or three hundred thousand HP of damage. We have healers among the staff who can cure that much."
"Nethe, don't do this," Barbara cautioned. Some nobles nodded in agreement. Then she sighed and changed gears. "I know I won't convince you to decline the Margrave's challenge. Just don't hurt him, okay!"
I stood on the chair, then pretended to stretch my neck and shoulders. "I got this, Barbara. In this doll form, my exterior is pliable enough to guarantee the blade won't bounce back and strike him. Don't worry. Hamilton, aim for the head."
The nobleman drew his sword and pointed it at my center. "I know your true form is the book. I am not sure if the doll exterior is really part of your body or just disposable mass. No, my dear sponsoree, I'm striking true. And don't worry, my swordsmanship is not so flimsy that I'll hurt myself with my own weapon even if I strike at a block of steel."
I made eye contact with the head butler, "Sir, would your staff move the food carts away from that corner of the room? I'll stand there and then the Margrave won't have to worry with collateral damage."
They obliged and soon I was in the corner with the rather seething Margrave poised to strike. I found his stance and technique rather familiar but couldn't pinpoint it. My knowledge was second-hand, inherited from reading mom's [Lost Sage Encyclopedia]. While the illustrations were comparable to photographs from Earth, they were just images in a book.
"Mountain-Cleaver!" He shouted his technique and slashed at my core. The blade gained a sinister aura and I felt like its momentum couldn't be stopped by ordinary forces. It all happened in a fraction of a second.
> Margrave Hamilton slashed you for 2,731 HP of damage (Base 142 [-102] x5,56 Strength x16,24 Skill x2 Monster Slayer x2 Sword Specialization x2 Mana Strike x3 Mountain-Cleaver x3 critical x0.75 Mystic Hunter x0,7 familiar x0,25 heavenly performer x0,8 Homeland Defender x0,07 Titan Body)
The System ignored physics. The massive blow which should've caused almost a million HP of damage (and had a good chance of splitting a boulder in twain) became just a nick on my cover. A little more than a second later, my HP regeneration had already repaired the damage. Also, in this current version of the System, it wasn't any kind of attack that could deal critical damage to a mimic. Or objects, to that matter.
The good nobleman dropped his weapon as his face became one of utter disbelief. His eyes were unfocused, for they could only stare at the damage notification. His mind was too busy doing the reverse math as all modifiers were condensed into a single value.
"Dennis, is it true?" Elizabeth's father asked, eager to know the results of our little experiment.
Margrave Dennis Hamilton moved his hand and the sword jumped as it obeyed his mental command. He calmly sheathed the blade and returned to his seat in silence. No other soul dared speak.
"He has around a million and a half HP, that's certain," defeated and depressed, the Margrave stated his verdict. "My blow dealt zero point two percent of his maximum HP. On a critical hit."
If one disregarded Barbara's concerns and the look of worry in my pupils' faces, a single emotion took over the whole room. Fear. Suddenly it wasn't me who was trapped in the castle with all the guards and nobles. It was them who were trapped in here with me. The terrifying vegetarian book monster.
"Miss Netherbane, I must admit," he said from his spot at the table. "We can't tell your level and only estimate your rank. In this room, we are all your allies but out there, people will wonder. You are a mimic and never we had peaceful contact with one of your species."
I raised a hand, "I'm a Bibliomimic. As I told your children once, comparing me with those chest-imitating man-eating morons is the same as comparing the High Elves of Fulgen to Goblins. That's the first misconception you must erase from your mind. The second misconception is that my thought process is any different than yours. I was born next to Barbara and raised by her. My specie lets me read books at a very accelerated pace, dozens of pages in the time you take to blink your eyes. I grew with the knowledge and tales of your people, not in some dark damp Labyrinth corner.
"Finally, I am Barbara's familiar. My top priority is to make her happy. Now, let's see," I turned to the side and smiled at Barbara. "Would you like some wanton slaughter with your tea, mistress?"
Barbara sipped her tea, then pouted as she delicately laid the teacup back on the saucer. "Nethe! You know I hate bloodshed during tea time! That is so uncouth!" She berated, then broke into a fit of giggles. The other noble ladies smirked at our antics and I knew I had them in the pocket.
"There you go, my Lord. So long you keep this girl well-supplied with the finest tea, the Realm is safe from her familiar's wrath," I jested.
Hamilton smiled. He exchanged a glance with his head butler, who nodded in return. "I'll be sure to make the proper arrangements," he chortled.
The tension vanished and we spent a while talking about our experiences at the Academy. I skirted the subject of the [Archmages] but they also didn't press the issue. Finally, they reached the juicy part.
*
*
"How are you two related to the Goddess?" Eleanora's father asked.
The whole table froze at the same time. I could see that Eleanora was a bit too loose-tongued around her parents but discipline just wasn't her thing. No wonder she was a better fit as a [Sorceress] than a [Wizard]. Isaac shot me an apologetic glance and Elizabeth was attempting to gain an accolade in Willpower. Barbara paused and I could sense her attention on me. This was a question she was very interested in. She knew of my birth conditions but not how SHE related herself to the Goddess. I sent her a wave of relief through our bond and started on yet another charade in which I would hide the truth behind another huge truth.
"It's simple," I started. "Not only Barbara and I but your scions as well. We all met each other and the Goddess in a previous life. I am sure Isaac, Eleanora, and Elizabeth felt a strange sense of kinship as well."
"That's true. I felt like we have met before. Like old acquaintances. I would dare say old friends, even," Isaac confessed.
"Yes, me too!" Eleanora grinned.
Elizabeth just nodded in agreement. She was the poster girl for the word "restraint". I continued.
"True friendship will always withstand the ravages of time, my Lord Margrave. The true bonds you forge today shall last onto eternity, for weal or woe. It was around three or four thousand years ago, during what people now call the Ancient Age of Man, in the streets of Perenneth, in the Kingdom of Lonid, nestled in the northern Auvanini valley, that we all met, including the one who would one day become the Goddess. We were adventurers, free spirits, we delved into the Labyrinth and lived many adventures together. At one point or another, we saved each other's lives from mortal danger uncountable times. Though I will not disclose the names we lived by during that time nor our closest relationships, rest assured we were all law-abiding citizens of that fair city. Just to be clear, I was a member of what you'd call one of the 'people species' back then."
Barbara blinked a couple of tears. Though they didn't remember, their souls felt the tug of our bonds. I too felt it. If I had to compare, the one binding Barbara and me was a thick industrial steel cable compared to the spider silk strand binding the five of us together. Yet each was as unbreakable as Fate itself. I wasn't done yet.
"Take this as a free lesson, my Lord. The mutual bonds you forge, with a friend, foe, and everything in between, last for lifetimes. You should strive to make one true friend rather than ten thousand enemies of occasion even if it comes at a personal cost. Debts of Fate are not so easily cleaned by something as trivial as death and rebirth. That's one reason I have no wicked designs for this country. What benefit could possibly balance the pain and suffering of thousands? Experience? I can get plenty of that without ruining my bonds.
"No, my Lord. You can be sure that seldom if ever I am the one who deals the first blow. Do not fall for the common pitfall many do of believing others have the same motivations as yourself. Wealth does not interest me. Ruling over the land and people, much less. I like knowledge but knowledge is not something one must steal and deprive others of like a gold coin is. It can be freely shared and it only multiplies when many do it."
I rested my shoulders and (almost literally) sew shut my cloth mouth. The Margrave and the other nobles stayed silent for a minute or so, digesting what I had said. Probably replaying my words in their heads to find any fallacies. It was obvious who would break the silence first. Eleanora.
"if we all lived together in a previous life, why is Isaac the only one who's got a [Capstone] Perk?"
"Because grinding the Exp necessary to reach the level cap sucks," I answered straight away, "And it sucked even more back in the day when it was two hundred."
Basically, your previous incarnations were either lazy, unlucky, weak, reckless, or any combination of these factors.
"I sense an unspoken offer to help all of us reach the level cap this time," Elizabeth finally spoke something. Like a magical [Heart-seeking Arrow], she went straight for the core of the issue. "Maybe you could include our parents in the deal?"
I stood in my tall chair and projected illusions of some of the abominations from mom's bestiary as Barbara averted her gaze at the first sight of the phantasmagorical monstrosities. The [Lost Sage's Encyclopedia] made one when the cursed book converted all her memories to pages. Including high-resolution images from several angles. Most prominent of all, the Kythaurpódi, regenerating tentacle blade monsters mom still wanted to recover for herself, not only to make more dildos but to add to our summoning collection. The disgust and fear in the eyes and hearts of the nobles were palpable.
"Are you willing to devote two decades or more of your life at the very bottom of the Labyrinth? Fighting hordes of these things and many others?"
Elizabeth cringed. Her resolve wavered but she slammed both fists on the table to support herself, leaving them and making her look like a gorilla wearing a party gown. "Yes. I would abandon everything and pledge my life to you if you are willing to help me to the level cap."
The reactions were as varied as the people around the table. Isaac lowered his head. Eleanora gasped as she stared at her friend. Elizabeth's parents were livid. Margrave Hamilton pondered with a creased eyebrow. Eleanora's mother protectively threw an arm around her daughter's shoulder. And Barbara slid her halfling butt down the seat to lower her profile and partially hide under the table.
"I will consider your offer, my Lady," I replied noncommittally. "That won't happen until you graduate from both courses you enrolled in. We have until then to smooth the edges of this agreement if that pleases you. The same extends to all of you, though I do not seek to subtract from this Kingdom's forces."
Elizabeth nodded and returned to her seat, the corner of her lips slightly cracked to signal her good mood. She understood very well what I meant by "graduate from both courses".
Barbara blushed but her curiosity trumped over her embarrassment.
I lowered my head and reached with a stubby cloth arm. Barbara crossed her half and grasped it with hers. I felt a jolt when her skin touched cloth. I desperately wished to tell her. While I sulked, she lifted me from my seat and placed me on her lap.
Barbara snorted lightly,
Before the morning was over, we had to move to the main ballroom along with all other nobles. The luncheon of doom was just starting.
*
*
A sense of dread washed over me as we entered the ballroom. A crowd of nobles flocked on one spot like a bunch of fans geeking over their idol, or reporters crowding some politician for a statement. They didn't crowd the center of the circle, giving the person there a decent breathing room, proving it was someone not only interesting but worthy of respect. I couldn't help but extend my senses there, and I finally got a glimpse of miss mystery guest.
A gorgeous ginger woman with fiery red hair, tall triangular ears, and a handful of fluffy tails waving mischievously behind her. She had a perpetual smirk on her face and even though a wall of bodies stood between us, she was looking straight at me.