IMPERIUM INSECTUM

“Please don’t hurt meee!”

“That depends. Tell me where I am.”

The girl was shaking like a leaf in my hands.

“Y…y……you’re resting in one of our overnight rooms…..y…y.you collapsed after bringing in that injured girl.”

“Apollinaris! Where is she?! Is she okay!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER!?”

“waghhhh, DON’T HURT ME……she is in the far room resting.”

I tossed her to the side as I barrelled out of the room. I need to get to her now!

“Wait! Please WAIT!”

I ignored her as I sprinted to the far door.

“Ma’am PLEASE WAIT! She shouldn’t be disturbed.”

Bullshit! I have to see her NOW! I slid to a stop in front of door 7, and with one swing of my foot, I kicked the door off its hinges.

“Apoll-“

My heart sank to the ground. Apollinairs was covered head to toe in bandages. Dozens of different fluid was hung up around her, pumping god knows what into her body. I slowly approached her body. Her eyes were swollen shut and covered in scars. How could I fail like this? The one time, It was my responsibility to look after her, and I failed.

“Ma’am please follow me”

I turned around to see a male doctor.

“I’m Doctor Nick. You may or may not remember me. Please come with me and have some tea. I want to explain the condition of your partner.”

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The sound of tea pouring into a cup filled the air.

“Thank you, Aiesha. You may go now.”

The doctor took a sip from his drink whilst shuffling all his notes. We sat in his office on the far side of his building. The room is pretty unremarkable, only made up of a desk, a few chairs and a filing cabinet. I looked out the window. It was raining for the first time I've been in this world.

“I imagine you want me to get right into The heart of the situation.”

I nodded.

“The good news is her condition is not life-threatening, and she will walk out of this fine at some point.”

“The bad news….” I asked. My heart was racing at a million miles. Please let her be okay.

“I am unsure when she is going to wake up….”

“During several intensive examinations of her body, we discovered she had multiple contusions on her body and several broken bones. Thankfully, none of her major organs are severely damaged. However, when we examined her brain, we discovered that she had significant head trauma. This trauma, coupled with extreme Mana exhaustion, means…… I'm not sure when she will wake up.”

 “What? What do you mean your not sure when she will wake up?”

“miss….?”

“Diva,” I replied.

“Miss Diva, your partner is in a severe coma. The damage is……. It's not something I've ever dealt with before. As for when I think she will wake up, I can't tell you. It could be a week, several months or….. Never.”

My mind froze. A coma. How can she be in a coma? She was… She can't be... I. How could I let this happen?

“I know this is very hard for you to hear, but I assure you. You will have all the support and help me and my assistant Aiesaha can offer.”

His words were like noise as I tried to wrap my head around how this could happen. Oh, Apollinaris, I am so so sorry.

“I can see you need time to collect your thoughts.” The doctor stood up from his seat. “Miss Diva. We will be in the next room if you need us.”

The two left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The events of that night replayed and replayed in my mind. What could I have done better? Could I have been faster? Maybe If I found her quicker, none of this would have happened maybe if I was stronger, I could have shielded her from the blast. My mind went back to the carriage. She told me she was scared. Maybe I should have pushed harder for her to stay at the inn. She would have been safe there. Dammit, this is all my fault!

I sat in the office for lord knows how long as I thought through every scenario, trying to figure out what I could have done better, but in the end, it was meaningless. I was here, and she was upstairs, comatose in a bed. I placed my hands on my head.

“How could I fail on so many levels?”

“Please don’t blame yourself.”

I turned around. It was the doctor, holding a platter of fruits, cheese, cooked meats and, judging from the smell, Raw meat as well.

“I thought you might have been hungry.”

He walked over to his side of the table, put the fruit down and took a seat in his office chair.

“I’m not familiar with your species, so I grabbed a little bit of everything.”

“Hmmm”

We sat together quietly. He fumbled around with notes, and I sat there in thought.

“Hey.... doc…. Are you sure you’ve done everything you can?”

He let out a sad sigh. “Unfortunately, yes. Injuries of the body are easily fixed. Things of the mind and brain, however, are… much more complicated. You can't just fix a brain like you can a bone. The brain is….a complicated instrument.”

“I see... thank you. For all you’ve done.”

He nodded. “I'm just doing my job, Miss Diva. You don’t have to thank me.”

“hmm”

“Miss Diva. If you don’t mind me suggesting, I think you should go talk to her.”

I looked up at him, confused.

“Talk to her?”

He nodded, “Just because she’s not awake doesn’t mean she’s not listening… go talk to her…. she needs you now more than ever.”

I looked at the doctor, who gave me a warm smile. He’s right. She needs me. I can't be sitting here moping around, feeling sad for myself. I slowly sat up, Grabbing a slice of raw beef before I left.

“Thank you”

He nodded to me as I left and went to her room. My feet felt heavy, like they were covered in Lead and drenched in thick tar. What am I even gonna say to her? Tell her how sorry I am? What do I do? What do I do!?

I forced my way up the old winding stairs and down the long corridor towards her hastily repaired front door. I steadied myself for a little bit before finally pulling the handle.

The door swung open, and there she was, just as I had seen her before, covered in the same dirty bandages. I pulled a nearby chair and sat next to her.

“Hey, can you hear me?” I asked. She didn’t respond. It was worth a shot, at least.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I want to tell you that. I am sorry, Well and truly sorry for what happened. I failed you. I can understand if you never ever forgive me.”

I sat at the side of her bed and just looked her over. She looked so limp, lifeless. The complete opposite of her usual self. I reached over and brushed her hair.

“I don’t think I ever told you this, but I had a nightmare a while back. You were there, and My ex was. She told me you would betray me… stab me in the back just like she did. I tried not to acknowledge it, but it was hard. For the first time in what feels like forever, I was scared. scared of what could happen if we ever got together.” I wrapped my hand around hers.

“It’s why I denied my feelings so much and pushed away the idea of us ever being together. But even with me trying to push that away. I was always still drawn to you.” I let out a small chuckle. “I guess you can add that to the list of my failures, But looking back, did I ever really stand a chance? Your smile, your personality. Your whole entire being made me feel…. Complete in a way that I've never felt before.”

I squeezed her hand tighter.

“But then I saw you get injured. I saw your bruised body underneath all of that rubble. And my mind filled with thoughts of what it would be like if you weren't around, and it was so painful. It's more painful than being ripped apart by a mana beast. It's more painful than being stabbed and beaten by your ex’s partner's goons. It hurt so much.”

I gently rubbed my finger against her face.

“I guess this a roundabout way of me saying that……I've fallen for you. Like a big fat fool I've fallen for you. So please, if you can hear me *sob* please come back. *sob* I don’t want to continue without you. So please, Apollinaris, come back. So I can tell it to you in front of yourself. Please *sob*”

I let it out. All of it. The pain of everything up to this point. The betrayal from my previous partner, the loss Of my children from way back then and now this. All of the grief, hurt and pain all of it left me in a flood of tears. I lowered my head onto her chest, my tears soaking the bandages beneath.

“I hate this.”

All of a sudden, I sensed Apollinaris' hold tightening around my hands.

“Dee..vaaaa,” She croaked weekly

I snapped my head up. “Apollinaris!”

“D.d..d..on..t…c.r..y…..”

She slowly raised her hand and wiped the tears from under my eyes.

“p….le…as..e…..d…o..nt…..c.r.y”

I wrapped her hands.

“CAN I GET SOME HELP IN HERE!” I yelled.

“Keep your eyes open. Please stay with me. Please don’t go again…. Please don’t leave me alone.”

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