I’m Telling You, I’m Not a Boss Monster!

Chapter 9



Charlotte’s level briefly turned pink before changing to a deep green.

The reason for the switch was simple.

Given her personality, it was probably something like, “A mere human like me can’t admire my lord.”

“Good thinking. Necrophilia is just wrong.”

No matter how crazy Charlotte might be, necrophilia is definitely a no-go.

While we waited for the merchant to arrive, Charlotte discussed how to build the dungeon with me.

Isabella was there too, just nodding like a background character. If she shook her head, she might as well have been a fan.

I guess I shouldn’t talk since I was just standing there with my arms crossed and drooling.

“It’s most important to listen to the requests and grievances of your subordinates. The state of the dungeon relies on their morale.”

But really, your subordinates are just you and a bunch of vampires, right?

At that moment, Charlotte suddenly turned her head.

Isabella, who was spaced out, flinched at the sudden gaze.

“Is there a problem?”

“Eh, me? I, uh…”

With her stiff tone and expressionless face, she seemed like a high school girl glaring at a pedestrian, saying, “I can handle this myself. Do you have a problem with that?” No wonder she looks scared out of her wits.

Charlotte’s great, but she clearly struggles with handling people.

Looks like it’s time for me to show her how to be a proper boss.

After locking eyes with Isabella, I opened my mouth.

“Charlotte, what if—”

“Eek!”

…That damn skeleton face.

Do undead not have polymorph? At this point, I’m starting to feel a bit hurt too.

Ahem.

Charlotte cleared her throat and started her speech.

“I take it there are no complaints. Now then, given we’ve driven off intruders, it’s time to reinforce our defenses rather than just expanding. I think we should dig down into the ground, creating a maze instead of just sticking to the current cave shape.”

Hmm, I see.

“The most important thing for the dungeon’s survival is a water source. Since relying on external supplies is tough, we should widen the underground maze to become self-sufficient with groundwater.”

“Sometimes we find ore veins around groundwater. If we can build a water source and a mining base in one spot, it will cut down on labor.”

Honestly, the boss doesn’t have much to do here.

I just listened and let it go in one ear and out the other.

“I’ll need to get herbs for dungeon plants soon. This should help minimize our expenses with the merchant.”

“Ah, I’ll also try to bring in monsters from outside without relying on the merchant. Even if they’re weak individually, it would be good to selectively pick monsters that are strong in groups or can take advantage of the terrain.”

“And for the time being, I’ll use the corpse of a Minotaur for food. I’ve already frozen it with ice magic to keep it from rotting, so there’s no need to worry. With a size like that, it’ll last us a week easily.”

“Um, excuse me?”

Isabella interrupted.

“No matter how you put it, isn’t using a corpse a bit… I mean, we can’t consume dead blood, can we?”

“It’s just tasteless; it’s still possible. I’ve seen it all.”

“Uh… actually, we’re really okay with it. But… how does the boss handle monster corpses…?”

“The boss is undead. She doesn’t eat.”

“Then resurrecting the Minotaur as an undead…?”

“That’s basically impossible for a creature that large. Unless you’re the Lich King.”

“Ah…”

With a sigh, Isabella fell silent.

You’ll never win an argument against Charlotte. So just accept it.

Bzzz—!

That’s when the pitch-black portal appeared.

From it, the Demon Merchant dropped in with a flourish, bowing neatly.

“It’s an honor to see you again, esteemed dungeon master.”

Then, monsters began pouring endlessly from the portal.

All coming out in the same shape and stance, like soldiers.

Soon, about a hundred of them lined up in front of me, an impressive sight indeed.

They looked like a mix between a mole and a rat, about the size of a human.

“Definitely Kobolds.”

I’d been expecting that since they mentioned expanding the dungeon.

Kobold claws and front teeth are as hard as steel. They excel at using them like pickaxes to dig tunnels.

Their labor is essential for transforming a simple cave into a maze.

“Kaergh! It’s an honor to meet my esteemed master!”
“Keurek! It is an honor to meet the exalted master!”

“I will complete it with utmost loyalty!”

A kobold can talk?

Just as I started to wonder, the demon added:

“I have selected only kobolds with high intelligence. We consider it an honor to take on the new layout of the Seven Lairs.”

“Just leave it to me! I’ll do my best!”

Aside from that slightly grating manner of speaking, he seems reliable.

“It’s the Steel Tooth tribe. They should be a huge help.”

“Keurek! Human! It’s a human! Human intrusion!”

“That’s my subordinate. Please choose your words carefully.”

Charlotte not only knew he was a kobold but also the name of the tribe. They must be quite famous kobolds.

Along with the kobold, three more beings of the dwarven race revealed themselves at the end.

All three were burly, yet they looked like they barely exceeded one meter in height.

In addition to that, their faces were rugged, half-hidden by shaggy beards. It would have been odd not to recognize this combination.

The oldest-looking dwarf approached me.

“I greet the new master of the Seven Lairs. I am Bellaum. Although it’s embarrassing, I am one of the best dungeon craftsmen in the guild. And these here are the ones I’ll be managing.”

The other two bowed deeply.

If a dwarf introduces himself as a craftsman, he must be a real master.

So this truly is the Seven Lairs, even if it’s a newly born dungeon.

I didn’t expect to bring in such high-quality personnel without even asking for it. They may be monsters, but they’re definitely skilled.

“The kobolds will be used as hired hands while we take on the supervisor roles. By the way, who would be best for overall command? We’re fine with the boss taking charge.”

Why should I deal with such bothersome stuff?

I subtly glanced at Charlotte, placing my hand on her shoulder.

Yikes. Charlotte flinched. For some reason, she cast a slightly startled gaze towards me.

“My subordinate will handle it.”

“…Boss?”

Charlotte’s eyes went wide. There was a look of confusion in her pupils.

So am I doing it or are you? It’s supposed to be the same as the dungeon boss and the company president after all.

“To think you’d give me another chance… Thank you. This time, I will wholeheartedly meet your expectations.”

Looks like I misunderstood.

From her perspective, it seems she thinks I trust her and am handing it over to her.

I didn’t bother to correct her. Good things come from good thinking; if it boosts efficiency, I’ll welcome it.

“Alright then. Let’s start right away.”

*

Two days passed since then. To be honest, it had been a busy time.

I was almost worried that actual construction would get messed up, it was so hectic I hardly had a moment to breathe.

Everyone was busy but me.

“How did I end up doing this hard work…”

“Hey, Vampire! Do your job right!”

“I’m not just any vampire! Can’t you see my horns and fangs?”

“I don’t care! Just haul bricks!”

“Ugh, I’m a noble vampire…”

Isabella ignored me, worn out from the continued labor.

I couldn’t just let the vampire lounge around while everyone else worked, so I put her to work, but she definitely wasn’t much help with strenuous labor.

‘She has really changed a lot.’

At a glance, the once pitiful cave now looked enough like a dungeon, considering its structure and scale.

Of course, from an aesthetic perspective, it couldn’t be approached as a beauty.

I was told labyrinth-like mazes should look perplexing at first glance. From that viewpoint, it was a flawless dungeon.

No matter how you looked at it, it was all a confused jumble.

All I had to do was observe.

Ah, this is what a proper boss should look like. A proper dungeon.

Being undead, nothing was too taxing, but that didn’t mean I wanted to do anything.

‘Status window.’

When there’s nothing to do, I check the status window.

[Lv. 44]

My level is still 44.

I killed Balmunk, but the number hasn’t changed.

Could it be because I killed him through a bug? Is my level a fixed number?

‘Or maybe I need to kill something with my own hands after all.’

I’ve never killed anything directly, so I can’t be sure.

But I thought my level should go up if I did.

It doesn’t make sense that a game bug would apply in reality, yet my level wouldn’t increase.

“Do you have a moment, Elder? I have something to ask.”

“Speak, Subordinate.”

With nothing better to do, I quietly stared at Charlotte.
I saw it.

In human society, witches are classified as subraces like dwarves.

Perhaps that’s why Bellaum and Charlotte got along quite well.

“From your seasoned perspective, when do you think the construction of the underground sewer and mining base will begin?”

“It’ll take at least a day just to solidify the basic foundation. The tricky part is locating the spot; I estimate that’ll take about three days. That’s in a normal scenario; if delays occur, we’ll need to expand the search area, which will take even longer.”

For two days, Charlotte kept asking about the mining base and stuff. Naturally, it made me curious.

“Is the mining urgent?”

It was almost a mutter.

Whether she heard me or not, Charlotte lowered her head and looked at me.

“Yes, we need to expedite the search.”

“Why’s that?”

“I want to repay the debt as soon as possible before interest piles up.”

Debt? What debt?

As I stood there silently, Charlotte continued.

“The trading company usually assesses the value of the mining sites quite highly. In the dungeon, retrieving them is relatively easy, so the quickest way to repay the debt is by using those resources.”

“…Debt, you say.”

“The monster hiring cost. I borrowed a total of 30 million cel from hiring a Minotaur and a Basilisk.”

This crazy girl?

She must’ve borrowed it under the dungeon’s name, and I’m the boss.

So, she means she took out loans in my name.

Well, let’s think positively.

Thanks to that, I’m alive, right? If they weren’t here, we’d be the ones dead.

“The Seven Lairs recognized us highly and set the repayment period indefinitely. The annual interest rate is 5%, so 1.5 million cel. As of three days later, the interest due has increased to 12,200 cel.”

Damn, she’s fast at math. Is she even medieval?

Part of me wondered if it was really worth being so fixated on this.

Did Charlotte pick up on my inner thoughts? She spoke.

“The trading company gives dungeon credit based on repayment dates. The dungeon is synonymous with the boss. If repayment is delayed, it implies a devaluation of the boss’s credibility. As your aide, I can’t allow even the slightest blemish on your reputation.”

Has she been this cunning?

I knew she was capable, but I didn’t expect her to have this admirable side.

Alright, Charlotte, do whatever you want. I take back calling you a crazy lunatic.

As long as she doesn’t flay human skin right in front of me.

*

A week later.

Fortunately, there were no external incursions during the construction process.

I was really worried about Balmunk dying, but that turned out to be unfounded.

Well, information doesn’t spread quickly in the medieval era. There’s no solid communication network.

Who knows? The Imperial Subjugation Command might still be unaware of Balmunk’s death.

“You little rats! Great job! Now, let’s finish cleaning up and withdraw!”

“Scatter! Withdraw! Withdraw!”

“Rest! Rest!”

In less than 10 days, the dungeon construction was complete.

What would have taken at least a year with humans was finished in just eight days thanks to the collaboration of Kobolds and Dwarves.

The dungeon has officially established itself as a full-fledged ‘dungeon.’

Sweaty Dwarves and Kobolds let out a thunderous roar.

At that moment, Charlotte approached me.

“You’ve worked hard.”

“Compared to the boss, I did nothing.”

Her excessive loyalty made me feel embarrassed despite not doing anything myself.

Or was she just trying to butter me up? Judging by her deep green level, she seemed to genuinely mean it, but it still felt uncomfortable.

“Ugh! Hah! Blood… give me blood….”

Isabella was sprawled out at a distance.

For some reason, I felt sorry for her.

“I suppose you need blood.”

“However, I lack the qualifications. Miss Isabella is worth less than one-tenth of Balmunk.”

How can you compare her to Balmunk?

Isabella hadn’t slept nor rested, and her physical level was over 70, making her very capable in labor.

“As your aide, wouldn’t it be nice to show some generosity to a subordinate?”

“I will obey your orders.”

With that, Charlotte finally rolled up her flowing robe sleeves and headed toward Isabella.

I felt like I was watching a comedic scene unfold with Isabella hopping around yelling, ‘Blood! Blood!’ while Charlotte sucked her blood without changing her expression.

It’s a bit of a cliché setup, but in [Strategy Guide for Dungeon 72], vampires are obsessed with human blood.

From now on, using Charlotte’s blood to handle Isabella seems like the way to go.

‘I’m undead, so I can’t give it.’
“It’s not that I don’t want to bleed quickly, okay?”

“All I have is marrow instead of blood, so what can I do?”

“Master of the dungeon, I shall present a draft of the dungeon map, albeit incomplete.”

That was Bellaum speaking.

As I extended my hand, he passed me a rolled parchment.

But surprisingly, there was not just one or two maps.

“The first map is of the dungeon. The red X marks the traps, green triangles indicate the sub-officer rooms, and the golden stars denote the boss rooms. I’ve also marked the areas where labyrinth plants grow well.”

I observed the map while listening to Bellaum’s explanation.

Bellaum pointed with his fingertip and earnestly elaborated.

“Here, you can see we’ve demolished a stalactite cave to build a mining base. Conveniently, there’s an underground waterway nearby, making it easy to supply drinking water to the miners.”

“Uh-huh.”

“This area is the final zone of the labyrinth. The structure is suitable for defense and it’s close to the water supply. There are no side passages and the walls are thick, so hunting parties won’t be able to approach from the side. Wouldn’t it be a perfect spot to secure as a base? If we were pushed into a corner, it might be a good strategy to fortify here before the boss takes action.”

“I see.”

“Since this is still a draft, I haven’t dealt with resource ecology and various wall durability yet.”

“Uh-huh.”

Honestly, I couldn’t grasp what he was saying, so I just kept muttering, “Uh-huh.”

“What about the other maps?”

“The second map shows the mountain where the dungeon is located and the nearby village. It includes the elevation changes, terrain features, average climbing time, flora and fauna ecology, defensive measures exploiting the mountains, and the scale of the village.”

Indeed, it was crucial information for dungeon defense.

“And the last map?”

“This one is the imperial map. Since we’re in the Seven Lairs, it’s possible the dungeon could evolve into warfare. This is a precautionary measure.”

Sorry, but there’s absolutely no way that’s happening.

“The imperial map is complete since it already existed, but the other two will be delivered as soon as they’re complete.”

“Uh-huh. Got it.”

“If there’s anything wrong with the maps or if you have any corrections, please let me know.”

Bellaum was seriously into map-making. Guess that’s why he’s a dwarf artisan.

“Looks good to me. Make sure to explain the same to the sub-officer.”

“Understood.”

Bellaum made his way to Charlotte with his short legs.

From a distance, it looked like Charlotte was nodding, seemingly knowledgeable, while occasionally throwing out questions.

Truly a capable deputy, unlike a mere imitation like me.

Once they wrapped up their business, Charlotte came over to me.

“Excuse me, boss. May I allow the kobolds to mine a set amount of ore before they withdraw?”

“Is it for repayment?”

“That’s correct. If we combine the debt and the dungeon expansion costs, it’s exactly 136.6 million Sel. I will keep a few kobolds stationed and supervise that amount of mining.”

“Do as you see fit.”

I couldn’t help but be impressed by her meticulousness.

Although I’m a corpse and technically don’t have a tongue, you get the idea.

With the dungeon construction finished, it was finally time for some proper rest.

Even if a hunting party showed up, there were enough traps, and Charlotte and Balmunk were around. If things got really dicey, I could always call for the merchants’ help.

This dungeon was definitely not a place that anyone but a hero hunting party could even think of entering.

“It seems the merchant has arrived.”

Following Charlotte’s gaze, I noticed a pitch-black portal opening in the distance.

As expected, the familiar face of the Demon Merchant stepped through.

Looks like he just knew all the work was done and came to lead me away.

“Greetings, Great Lord!”

The demon rushed in an uncharacteristically hurried stride.

He seemed fidgety, glancing at me anxiously. What’s up with him?

“M-Master! I have something to tell you, something to tell you!”

“What is it?”

“A guest is expected! Ah, no, no! A VIP! A VIP!”

An inexplicable ominous feeling washed over me.

Just as I was about to ask who that was…

Whoosh!

A larger portal opened next to the first one.

Shock was temporary. I was soon hit with a worse anxiety.

As someone was about to emerge, their level showed first.

[Lv. 93]

Ah.

“Everyone, stand at attention! Rank 5 boss is arriving!”

Somehow, that ominous feeling just never seems to be wrong.



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