I’m Telling You, I’m Not a Boss Monster!

Chapter 22



Charlotte shook her head as she watched the lazy Banutak and Isabella.

“Kirik. Vampire, you’re really amusing. Keep it up!”

“No way. It’s because Mr. Banutak listens well.”

“Kirik. Vampire lived in the forest. Banutak lived in the forest too. We look different, but we’re the same.”

“Hehe.”

“It feels good. Vampire, if you want, you can drink Banutak’s blood.”

“Oh, that’s a bit much.”

While the other insects were working, the vampires were slacking off. It was hard to believe that these two were supposed to be the higher-ups.

I couldn’t exactly criticize them considering my own blunders, but I felt at least I was better than those two.

Is this really the Seven Lairs?

A dungeon without a boss, easy prey for a hero hunting team, contrary to its infamous reputation.

‘I guess I have to wait for the boss to return.’

Embarrassingly, we had to rely on the boss until they grew and could pull their weight.

The current dungeon was defenseless without a boss.

I could hold off most hunting teams by myself, but if a hero team came, that’d be a whole different story.

Boom.

It was then that a small vibration came from my pocket.

All of Charlotte’s movements froze. That vibration could only mean one thing.

An intruder had triggered the security magic at the entrance.

Suppressing my anxiety, I took out a crystal ball.

No way. It can’t be. It has to be a wild beast or just an advance team.

How could they possibly know the boss was away and time their attack? That’s just unrealistic.

“Ah…”

What appeared in the crystal ball were paladins entering in formation.

The faint glow of armor peeked out from beneath cloaks. The sword of the elder leading them shone brilliantly, illuminating the darkness.

Of all times, now—when there’s no boss…

Despair is just a waste of time and feelings.

Charlotte maintained her composure and watched the movements of the hunting team with the crystal ball.

“Hurry up, everyone. This isn’t playtime. Get ready!”

“Kirik?”

“What? What’s going on?”

“The hunting team has invaded. Even the hero hunting team.”

With that, Isabella turned pale.

Banutak scratched his head, confused by the meaning, while Isabella panicked beside him.

Leaving the explanations to her, Charlotte summoned Golgol and Balmunk, then raised all the undead she could command.

I thought about requesting reinforcements from the guild, but that would mean diving back into debt.

I had already borrowed one hundred million cells and exceeded the limit.

I managed to repay it, but there was no way they’d lend me a fortune again within a month.

Even if it were possible, relying continuously on the guild would ruin my face as the Seven Lairs.

It meant I had to hold the line with just my current strength.

‘Boss. I’ll prove myself in that test I failed back then.’

A crisis is just an opportunity.

Balmunk and Wilhelm were both the same heroes; it was the perfect chance to redeem my mistakes.

Of course, the odds were slim, but not impossible.

If I could prove my ability to the boss with this, maybe I could get away with being spoiled for a while.
If I prove my abilities to the boss, would they not spoil me for a while?

‘If I fail again this time…’

I would probably end up dead at the hands of the hero.

Even if the boss appears to save me, I didn’t deserve to be here as a useless being.

So this time, Charlotte vowed to make up for it.

*

The castle filled with the aura of magic was located in the Demon Realm, specifically in the Second Hell of Kalasutra.

As is typical of demon realms, the environment itself was inhospitable to ordinary life forms.

A representative example is the grand area where lava sporadically erupts from the ground.

The oxygen was threatening right from the start, so do I even need to say more?

Among the demon realms that occupy seven parts, Kalasutra is often described as an endless night hell.

Even now, dark gray clouds filled the sky, not letting a single ray of sunlight through.

At the very top of the grand domain of Kalasutra stood a majestic and lofty castle.

A castle where night reigns eternal.

It was the reason why the minions of the night roamed freely and why Roseha was called the Queen of the Night.

‘Just as I remembered.’

Upon arrival, I noticed that not only the first floor but the entire castle lacked windows.

A vintage chandelier emitted just a tiny bit of light as a courtesy.

Endless red carpets covered the corridors, and the pillars flanking the passages were all grandiose.

There was no reason to provoke any threat, yet every wall was adorned with the heads of massive monsters.

‘That’s a living armor.’

While decorated suits of armor were lined up everywhere, in reality, they were living armors inhabited only by souls, devoid of bodies.

Newbies usually get killed by living armors first when assaulting the castle.

They may just look like decorations, but if you pass by without suspicion, they suddenly attack from behind.

Lastly, there’s that fountain in the hall… a blood fountain.

The color and the thick scent of blood clung to my nose.

The first level of the castle resembled that of a game, but in detail, it boasted a scale from another dimension.

After all, it’s nearly impossible to recreate such scale in game graphics.

This familiar scent mixed with the blood fountain was the scent of night flowers.

Why on earth would an undead corpse possess a sense of smell?

-Aaang~!

“….”

This castle truly lived up to its name of being filled with magic.

Each room on the first floor dripped with magical energy, and human corpses could be spotted from time to time.

The energy was drained, leaving the corpses looking like they were suffering from tuberculosis, obviously dead from internal injuries.

Unlike other dungeons where limbs are torn asunder, if we’re being kind, this could be considered a kind of mercy.

‘Brother. That guy is smiling?’

I couldn’t bear to look at the smiling corpses any longer.

I turned my gaze and followed, only focused on Gerald’s back.

Then, Gerald came to a halt.

“I humbly greet the noble lord.”

A vampire, who appeared out of nowhere, bowed politely in front of me.

With his emergence, Gerald nodded at me and left. It was evident he was leaving the guidance to the vampire.
The vampire’s level was far lower than Geralt’s.

Of course, that’s only considering the level.

Only after I nodded did the vampire straighten his back.

“I am Valentine Drabule, the aide to Her Majesty the Queen. It is my honor to guide you, new lord.”

“Then why didn’t you just come at the beginning?”

“I am bound to the castle and cannot leave without the Queen. I apologize for having to rely on Geralt.”

I knew well. Roseha’s masterpiece doll, Count Drabule.

Even if he was weaker than the guardian, he was not someone to be underestimated.

Aside from Roseha, he was the most troublesome opponent in the game.

Cunning and crafty, exploiting traps to the maximum, he was what you’d call a brainy villain.

After that, without further conversation, Drabule and I marched quietly up the stairs.

If Drabule loved silence, I was overpowered by the atmosphere and couldn’t find the words.

‘Is this really The Seven Lairs? Then what on earth is our dungeon…?’

The level difference was embarrassing, making my existence feel endlessly small.

The difference between the real and the fake was beyond words.

As I climbed the rank, I worried about encountering guardians, but thankfully, that didn’t happen.

The reason I worried? There’s no big reason; I just felt intimidated.

When faced with those powerful enough to make me feel less than a bug, I couldn’t help but be frightened just standing there.

“I greet the new lord of the Seven Lairs.”

[Lv. 84]

For the first time on the 7th floor, I faced a guardian.

A face reminiscent of Jekyll and Hyde and Count Asura.

From memory, it was a fusion of a succubus and an incubus.

Thinking of that whole hermaphrodite setup made me instinctively feel repulsive.

I waved my hand and ascended to the next floor.

Just as I was about to pass through the 9th floor without incident…

“I greet the esteemed lord.”

[Lv. 88]

This time, it was a death knight holding its own head, with a dim light shimmering at the severed neck.

Just looking at the level revealed he was far stronger than the guardian.

If Drabule was Roseha’s left arm, this Dullahan was her right arm.

Officially a mid-boss of the dungeon, but he claimed to be the queen’s most loyal sword.

By the way, this Dullahan was one of the four initial heroes of the Empire. Now he had become the Queen’s sword and lived eternally.

‘Of all the times to meet, I run into this guy.’

The moment I saw him, I averted my gaze as if I hadn’t seen him.

If I crossed paths with him, I wouldn’t stand a chance of making it out intact.

“New lord, if it isn’t too much trouble, may I challenge you to a duel?”

I somewhat expected it, but when it actually happened, I was quite flustered.

He was a mad swordsman Dullahan who had devoted his life to the sword both in life and death.

And my race was a Death Knight.

If he heard news of me, it was only natural he’d inquire, even at the cost of his manners.

Debating how to refuse, I signaled Drabule with my eyes.

The quick-witted Drabule stood in front of me.

“Sir Carleon. This gentleman must see the Queen now.”
“On your way. You must meet the Queen now.”

“Hmm… Isn’t 10 seconds okay?”

“It’s not about time. How could you even think of dueling with the Queen’s guest? If you have nothing to do, at least patrol the tiers. The sentinels are getting lax.”

“Is that so? Looks like I should step in.”

Now I see that Dullahan is also acting as the military officer.

Fortunately, Dullahan waved and went down to the lower floor.

Meanwhile, we climbed to the last floor, but Drabule stopped and just bent over.

“Only the Lord can go beyond this point.”

“Got it.”

It seemed like Roseha was waiting beyond that door.

Leaving Drabule bent over behind, I walked alone on the red carpet.

The door to the boss room came into view, dimly illuminated.

It seemed like I had to walk over a hundred steps to cover the distance.

With the sense of distance and the tension, one second felt like a minute.

The opponent was the boss of The Seven Lairs, Valentia Roseha.

It wasn’t a puppet this time, but I was going to face the real thing.

The memory of meeting Calandas for the first time was vivid. Just recalling that tension sent chills down my spine.

‘Don’t be scared.’

Even as an undead, I wasn’t showing it, but I was mentally shaken.

If I stammered and stuttered, my true intentions would be exposed.

If my purpose for visiting went awry, that alone would be a problem.

Temporary alliances and full support. If I could hint about the Necromicon, let’s play it cool.

At the door, I reflected on my purpose and grasped the doorknob.

“…This is insane.”

The hand holding the doorknob was trembling.

I had never realized that even an undead could be so rattled mentally.

To shake off this tension, my thought process needed to be filled with something else.

An idea that would alleviate the tension.

Suddenly, I thought about the setup regarding Roseha.

The hot potato that once stirred up the community regarding Roseha’s background.

– Is Roseha a virgin?

Unicorn players argued with netizens over whether Roseha was a virgin, which sparked the debate.

It was contradictory for a Succubus Queen to be a virgin, yet Roseha had a line claiming she was. This heated up the community for some time.

It got so intense that even the developers had to officially clarify it.

– Yes, Roseha is indeed a virgin. She only has experience in dreams, so she is a virgin in reality. So don’t worry and enjoy the game.

According to the theory of bodily virginity, she was only a virgin in body; the rest was akin to a prostitute.

True unicorns complained about what kind of virgin that was, but the majority preferred it that way. I was among them.

‘Right. I’m dealing with a virgin succubus.’

Thinking that way actually had an effect.

The trembling in my hands subsided, then completely stopped, and my mental unrest had faded away.

Letting out a sigh of cold air, I opened the door.



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