I'm Lara Croft?

Some days later Lara was lounging in Paititi, wearing a bikini and sunglasses, reclining on a chair under the shade while sipping a cocktail through a straw.

"You're absolutely right—this place is stunning," said Tony, who was stretched out on another lounge chair, wearing shorts and sunglasses.

At that moment, Winston approached Lara with a plate of neatly arranged fresh fruit. Lara glanced at him and said, "Winston, you don't need to serve right now. Grab a lounge chair and relax for a while."

"I'm sorry, young lady, but doing my job as a butler is my way of relaxing," Winston replied with a polite smile. He wasn't lying—although serving others might seem strenuous, his body was exceptionally well-trained and strong for a 68 year old man. Compared to the mental fatigue of managing Croft Holdings—a flourishing, newly established business empire —this kind of physical work was a welcome reprieve.

Still, the thought of Winston's advancing age lingered in Lara's mind. She knew that in a few years, he might no longer be able to keep up with the demands of his work. But Lara wasn't about to let that happen. She had already started planning to give Winston Alyssa's super-soldier serum.

What, let him retire peacefully and rest? Not a chance. Winston was her closest confidant and an irreplaceable part of her life. 

"Look at them—those disgusting lovebirds," Tony said with a dramatic grimace, pointing at Jonah and Abby, who were busy flirting nearby.

Lara, casually munching on a piece of fruit, glanced at him and smirked. "Well, aren't you the sour one. Missing Meredith, are we?"

Tony immediately tried to play it cool, crossing his arms and leaning back. "What? No! I don't care about her. Lovebirds are just... disgusting. That's all."

Lara raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Uh-huh. Funny how that started right after you and Meredith broke up."

Tony scowled but said nothing, knowing she wasn't wrong. Meredith McCall was his ex-girlfriend, and their relationship had been doomed from the start. Unfortunately for Tony, Meredith was the daughter of one of Howard Stark's rivals. Their families had forced them to break up, forbidding them from seeing each other. Shortly after, Tony had been shipped off to the British Isles to attend Cambridge, putting an ocean between them.

Since then, Tony couldn't help but turn into a sour lemon whenever he saw couples together, his bitterness barely hidden behind a veneer of indifference. Lara smirked knowingly, watching him stew in his own denial.

Tony's brooding was interrupted as Winston approached, holding a folder filled with documents. He handed it to Lara with a formal nod. "Miss Lara, these are the results of the DNA tests. Would you like to review them here?"

Lara nodded. She trusted Tony, and with no S.H.I.E.L.D. agents lurking around and the Hydra operatives in the area having been dealt with over the past few days, there was no reason to be cautious. Winston opened the folder and passed the documents to her.

Before she could take a good look, Tony leaped off his lounge chair and smirked. "Let me see, your alien highness. I want to know how extraterrestrial you are. I'll even let you sit on my face if you want."

Lara shot him a deadpan look. "Tony, we both know it's you who want's me to sit on your face. And no, stop it. I'll tell you." She began reading the results carefully, her expression neutral. After a moment, she casually pulled out a lighter and burned the papers.

Tony, now thoroughly intrigued, rubbed his hands together like a scheming villain. "So, what's the verdict? Come on, spill it."

Lara sighed. "Well, my non-human DNA and genes have increased."

Tony's eyes lit up, and he looked ready to start yelling something about aliens, but Lara held up a hand to silence him. "Wait, wait. Let me finish."

"They ran more tests, did deeper analyses, and discovered that the non-human DNA isn't alien. It actually resembles human DNA to some extent. They think it's from a species that evolved from humans. So no, I'm not an alien."

Tony stroked his chin, his expression theatrically thoughtful. "So, you're not an alien sassy bitch… you're a super-evolved human sassy bitch."

Before he could say anything else, a piece of fruit flew through the air and hit him square in the face.

"Hey! That hurt!" Tony yelled, rubbing his nose.

Lara grinned. "Don't dish it out if you can't take the beating after."

After a brief pause, Lara added, "Also, the tests revealed a new mutation in the genes and DNA."

Tony immediately put on an exaggerated impression of her voice and started mocking. "Oh, let me guess—it's because of that celestial energy that, if I hadn't held it back while fighting 'some native guy,' named Amaru, the solar system would have suffered catastrophic effects! You sure you didn't just need to take a massive dump while fighting and came up with this epic story to make yourself sound cooler?"

Before Tony could say another word, another piece of fruit sailed through the air, hitting him squarely on the forehead. Lara smirked as Tony groaned dramatically. "Keep it up, Stark, and you'll find out."

After Tony finished groaning, he straightened up and smirked. "Alright, fine. But seriously, are you ever going to introduce me to those scientists of yours? The ones who run tests on your blood, make all those fancy weapons, and cook up the tech for Croft Holdings and you?"

Lara didn't even hesitate. "Not a chance, Tony. I'm not a rookie in this business. I'm 100 percent sure you'd poach them."

Tony gasped in mock offense, placing a hand dramatically over his chest. "How could you accuse me of such a thing? Me? Tony Stark? Steal your precious eggheads? Never!"

Lara didn't bother looking at him, taking a slow sip from her cocktail. "I know you, Tony," she said simply, the corners of her lips curling into a smirk.

Tony groaned. "You wound me, Croft. Truly."