NOVEL NEXT chapter 9
9 – Until the End, a Good Person
[ Leni? Leni? Selena! ]
Even though my older brother calls my name from the other side of the communication link.
Selena just rolls her eyes, unsure of what to do.
‘What should I do? What should I do! How can I…!’
Three years and six months ago. So, when I had just entered the academy.
Selena, who had received all kinds of confessions from seniors since the freshman welcome party.
At first, she laughed it off and declined. She didn’t hide the apologetic look.
But as one became two, and two became four, she grew weary.
As the confessions piled up, she became desensitized and eventually cut them off coldly.
Karl, who confessed a month later, was also one of those cases. It was the coldest time.
She got angry at the overwhelming confessions pouring in, not because of Karl, but it felt like it.
She ended up showing an excessively cold attitude and cutting them off.
“Oh, really? Haha. I see. Sorry. Still, can we be friends?”
Karl, who said that, was never seen at the academy again after that day.
I heard he took a leave of absence, and I haven’t heard any news since then.
Even after Karl disappeared, confessions from male students continued.
Among them were Shulipen, Wilhelm, Alexander, and Joachim, who were in the same grade.
Of course, I rejected all the confessions, but it wasn’t as sharp as before.
Because I had adapted to some extent. And also, because I felt sorry for Karl, who had reacted too much.
As time passed, on a day in the hectic preparations for graduation during the second semester of the fourth year.
“Selena. That guy returned to school.”
“Huh?”
“Karl. He’s back.”
Unexpected news from Etvin. Karl, who had been missing for over three years, had returned.
She met him. It was indeed Karl. Something seemed different, but nonetheless, it was him.
And there, she heard shocking news.
“Enlisting as a soldier?”
He vehemently denied it, but the timing was too perfectly aligned.
His confession, met with a sharper reaction than he expected from Selena.
And the fact that he, despite being a noble, enlisted as a soldier, experiencing war after taking a leave of absence.
No matter how one looked at it, Karl had his share of blame for the hardships he endured.
But that wasn’t the end of it. He even saved her brother during the war.
Whether he knew it or not before, it wasn’t particularly important.
The guilt she had unknowingly carried within her surged.
[Selena, listening to my brother…]
Rising abruptly from her seat, Selena immediately sought out Karl.
Was he really the nameless hero who saved her brother?
If so, why didn’t he say it was him when she told that story?
Did he think she would feel sorry or burdened? Was that his concern?
“Fool. Fool! You fool!”
Expressing her frustration, oblivious to what a good person he was, she vented her accumulated irritation towards others.
She needed to speak up. To apologize. To express gratitude. It was a must.
But despite searching for him all day, Selena couldn’t find Karl.
“He’s avoiding me. Worried that I might be uncomfortable. That’s why he’s doing this. It’s obvious!”
With clenched fists, she repeatedly struck her head while chastising herself.
Meanwhile.
“Huh. No one would know here.”
Karl, pinned somewhere in the academy, avoiding the gathering students.
His hiding skills, cultivated during his life as a soldier, were truly unparalleled.
Selena might not have been able to find it, and perhaps that was to be expected.
*
No one can find me. I am a wall. I am an object.
I’ve even been through the rank of a sergeant. Yes, I am the Dark Knight. A dull Toridas…!
Three days have passed since being confirmed as a decorated hero.
During those three days, I hid every day except for lectures.
Anyone seeing me might think, “Is that guy an escaped prisoner?” That’s how thoroughly I hid.
It may seem strange to be like this when it’s not even a battlefield, but what can I do?
If I were to walk normally, they would shout, “There’s an Elf murderer!” and swarm me.
Even if I yelled for them to listen to me, it was useless. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the medals.
I, the actual person involved, didn’t feel anything, but I just don’t understand why they act like that.
I know those medals are impressive, but isn’t that a bit overboard?
If someone hears, they might think I’ve saved a princess or a prince!
“Are the rumors spreading that the eavesdroppers are sending assassins?”
Damn, it would be so unfair if that’s really the case.
I can guarantee that the elves I shot with my gun can be counted on one hand.
From the beginning, my marksmanship was enough to turn even an angel into a devil.
Achieving the miracle of hitting 3 out of 10 shots fired.
I’ve been stomped on a few times for squandering the taxes paid by the citizens.
But what can I do? There’s such a big difference between the guns I used to shoot and the ones here.
I don’t know if they made this for shooting or for better gunplay.
I feel like I understand why war was essential for human development.
Instead of fighting with this shitty thing, it would be better to create something better and use it! Someone with at least one brilliant idea like that must have come out.
“Senior Kal. Let’s postpone the group project meeting for later. Right now… it’s a bit awkward, isn’t it?”
“…I feel like I’m going crazy.”
The groups must have been arranged, and we should at least meet each other and exchange greetings once.
But it couldn’t proceed when they were saying, “He’s a senior!” instead of greeting.
Meanwhile, the female students were looking at the male students with keen interest.
If those guys were from a military background like me, I might somewhat understand.
But these things, they’re all non-essential, right? No, not really. Since there’s no mandatory military service, does that mean they’re not even non-essential?
Anyway, there was no reason to feed military stories to these recruits.
In all likelihood, military stories are best shared among those who know. Whether it’s PX disease, boiler disease, or barber disease, it doesn’t matter. There’s something that resonates as a veteran.
Otherwise, no matter how interesting the story, from the perspective of civilians, it’s just a cause for head-shaking.
Ta-da!—
Hmm. Have the trackers finally caught up to me here? It seems it’s time to leave this place now.
This place inside the building is deserted. A familiar place… Farewell now…
“Karl!”
What, what is it? Exposed so easily? Even our battalion commander couldn’t do this, could he?
This level of intel was only possessed by the Intelligence Corps. But that person wouldn’t be here.
What needs to be done. First, let’s get out of here. If caught, they’ll ask how many elf ears I’ve cut off again.
“Karl! Wait, just a moment!”
“…Selena?”
Turning my head, the one demonstrating tracking skills at the level of the Intelligence Corps was none other than Selena.
“Stop right there. Hands up. Move, and I’ll shoot.”
“It was you?!”
“I said, hands up, don’t move… What?”
“The person who saved my brother. The nameless hero. That’s you, Karl?”
The moment Selena spoke those words, I suddenly felt intensely embarrassed.
I don’t know why. It just feels like my secret, something I wanted to hide, has been exposed.
I haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, I did something really good.
Yet, I don’t know why I feel this way.
“Haa, haa.”
Amidst heavy breaths, Selena, who had come right up to me, looks at me.
“Honestly.”
“What?”
“Honestly, tell me, Karl. Is it really not because of me?”
“What… No way. Did I enlist as a soldier because of you?”
“Yeah. That. You, a noble, not an officer, willingly chose the life of a soldier. And you went through those difficult times by being deployed to war. All of it.”
I couldn’t respond immediately. Selena’s words were, in fact, true.
Why did I do such a crazy thing? To forget the pain and shame of losing someone.
It’s not something one would do in their right mind, but somehow Selena was the cause.
I couldn’t deny there was an unavoidable connection, despite saying it had nothing to do with her.
Honestly, it hurts a bit. Getting hit by a car could have been less painful.
Others, I heard, managed to refuse with a smile. But why was I the one who went pale!
I understand everything else, but being the only one who paled is a bit sad! Selena!!
“I told you, Selena. It’s not true.”
Nevertheless, I once again, with certainty, answered her.
No, it’s not. It’s not because of you that I did that. My unhappiness is not your fault.
The answer I gave Selena was not just a matter of pride.
If I admit it, it feels like all my struggles and memories until now are being belittled as ‘nothing.’
Ultimately, it was my choice, and I thought it was right for me to bear it all.
“Really…? Really, it’s not…?”
“I told you. I may be a bit strange, but I’m definitely not a crazy guy enlisting just because of a breakup. It was just what I wanted. It was my decision, my action. That’s all.”
*
To the end. Truly to the end. The knife never blamed me.
Once would have been okay. Honestly, it would have been okay to say it.
That person steadfastly protected me. Just like back then, he kept smiling.
Looking at that knife, I couldn’t help but smile subtly.
Why did I reject his confession more seriously than usual?
Why did I consider the continued requests for dates from other men as not worth pondering?
I came to realize whether it was because I couldn’t forget the knife and kept it in a corner of my heart.
It wasn’t simply out of guilt.
It wasn’t just because I felt sorry and kept thinking about it; it wasn’t.