I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Survivor III

The academy city was both dead and alive.

It grew voraciously like a gigantic zombie.

In the past, I criticized the idea of an academy city in creative works as being utterly unrealistic. Now, I realize I was wrong. I had no choice but to deeply reflect on how narrow-minded I had been.

Indeed, as unbelievable as it might sound, the academy city was real. Its economic power surpassed that of any other city, equipped with transcendental technology that could create something from nothing. At its helm was none other than the student council president of the academy. Yes, all these propositions were true.

"Is this even real…?"

Dang Seo-rin herself was taken aback by the unexpected debut of the academy city.

"Vice guild leader, is there something wrong with the energy of the Korean Peninsula? Did grandpa Dangun[1] get conned into bad real estate when he settled here? As if battling the Ten Legs wasn't headache enough, where did this crazy group come from?"

"They sprang from the Gate. Did you know? Baekwha Girls' High's swimming pool has no water, just zombies in swimsuits floundering on the pool floor."

Those with a semblance of brains adopted the same stance towards the academy city.

Ignorance.

Even in the cycles when I started acting independently from Dang Seo-rin, the basic strategy remained unchanged.

Do not look. Do not care. Do not engage.

The so-called Three Don'ts Policy was indeed the proper way to deal with Baekwha Girls' High. It was truly the best approach to keeping a durian-sealed Pandora's Box intact.

Even as other guilds were seduced by the prospect of 'an epic Necromancer,' I desperately cautioned against it. That thing will give you an upset stomach.

"What right do you have to block our guild?"

"With a Necromancer, we could defeat Dang Seo-rin!"

Of course, the guilds didn't initially heed my advice. Ultimately, some guild leaders didn't listen and ended up contributing to the establishment of the academy city.

However, I wasn't angry. In the grand scheme of a regressor's long life, these individuals were like immature infants. Continuously cared for with love and attention, they would eventually come to realize the affectionate intentions of their parents on their own.

"Well, if it’s from Undertaker..."

"Think about it, a Necromancer, right? Messing with corpses, what's that all about?"

Ah.

Do you want to know how to subdue proud Awakeners? It's simple. Become a regressor, defeat the Ten Legs. Even the steeliest tsundere melts before me.

Thus, from the tenth cycle, when the subjugation of the Ten Legs began, the guild leaders also started to comply with my regulatory measures.

Tapes crisscrossed the gate of Baekwha Girls' High like a spider web.

[No Entry] [Safety First] [Danger] [Cannibalism Alert] [Controlled Area]

It was a simple solution, but astonishingly, these yellow tapes performed almost like absolute barriers.

As long as no one from outside stirred things up, Baekwha Girls' High was safe. It made one wonder what Cheon Yo-hwa and her student council were subsisting on behind those closed doors.

Truly, very occasionally, when Cheon Yo-hwa herself went out to gather supplies, the Saintess would whisper in my ear, "The student council president has been spotted." Yet, significant incidents were rare.

Even as the 30th cycle passed.

The 40th cycle flowed by.

And even beyond the 50th cycle.

Yellow tapes still crisscrossed the gate of Baekwha Girls' High. I assure you, unless I was on vacation during those cycles, the seal here was never broken.

In other words, during the cycles when I took a break and vacationed, a very high probability existed that the 'academy city' would emerge.

After returning from a tour of Mount Hua with Sword Marquess in the 108th cycle, the same was true.

The Korean Peninsula was proving once again why this land had historically been called Hell Joseon, instilling fear in everyone.

-̴̯̈́D̸͈̀i̷͙͗n̶͋͜g̸͖͆-̵̯̓d̵͉̄ö̸̥̈ṋ̷͑g̴̫̎-̷̣̃d̶͚̏a̷̛̜n̶̩̄ǧ̵̝-̷̠̔d̵̘̓ö̴̪̇n̵̘̿g̶̠̋!̵͕͑

"Immortal Life! Radiant Immortality!"

"Sir, here’s your order: two servings of tteokbokki!"

Lonely gourmet of the Ten Legs. The pseudo-religious cult of New Buddha. And now, added to that, the largest academy city in history, Baekwha Girls' High!

Such familiar old friends warmly welcomed me.

I'm so touched by the nostalgia that tears almost come. If a Meteor Shower were to fall now, the Four Kings of the Peninsula would truly be complete.

It was better to regress quietly than to directly face this mess, which I did.

"Hmm."

Upon returning to Busan Station after one vacation season, a moment of enlightenment arrived.

Indeed, the performance of a vacation was unmatched. It cured the unique occupational diseases of Infinite Regressors—[Why Only Me] syndrome, [I'm Tired of This] syndrome, [No One Remembers Me] syndrome, and so forth.

Instead, it reignited the typical chronic conditions of Regressors—[Still, I Must Solve This] syndrome, [I'm Perfectly Fine] syndrome, [Even If Everyone Forgets, I Will Remember Forever] syndrome. Oh well.

After all, isn’t human life merely a record of struggling with diseases called happiness or misery?

A regressor is nothing more than a long-term patient who experiences and manages the same diseases as everyone else, just more deeply and adeptly.

I readmitted myself to the hospital I've long owed—this world—and observed the political state of the Korean Peninsula from an angle I hadn't considered before.

"Compared to Sword Marquess… maybe Cheon Yo-hwa is a very rational conversational partner?"

What a paradigm shift in thought!

Only after serving Sword Marquess, an epochal lunatic for six years, could such enlightenment have been possible.

Indeed, compared to a dog smeared with feces, a dog with mustard stains was practically a cute Shih Tzu.

"High school student council president? Compared to some island nation's nobility, she's totally normal."

The regressor of the fifth cycle, who trembled at the sight of student zombies, no longer existed. Only the Awakener of the 109th cycle, freshly returned from experiencing the Marquess and Sect Leader of the Mount Hua Sect of Yuldoguk, remained.

Humans are meant to grow, after all.

As Undertaker, I marveled at my own growth and began preparations.

I grabbed SG Man Seo Gyu by the nape to cure his anger management issues, formed an alliance with the perennial hikikomori Saintess, defeated the Ten Legs and Udumbara, and after pulling Sword Marquess out from his inner power training on Ulleungdo, laid all the groundwork.

Then, months later.

I alone headed to Baekwha Girls' High.

"What brings you here?"

An NPC stood at the gate.

A familiar face among the guards.

Like the inscription on Dante’s gate to hell, 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here,' this NPC manned the entrance to a terrifying dungeon.

"I'm sorry, but if you have no business, please leave. This is a private school. Outsiders cannot just walk in."

"Ah. Thank you for your hard work. I'm not an outsider."

After clearing the entity known as Sword Marquess, to me, the guard was just another insignificant monster.

What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.

"I’m someone like this."

"Hmm? What is this…?"

I politely handed over a printout.

The printout was kindly stamped with the seal of the Board of Education.

[Baekwha Girls' High School 99th Alumni Meeting Notice]

"…Oh."

The guard's pupils wavered.

I smiled.

"Hello. I’m a graduate visiting for the alumni meeting. I look forward to your cooperation."

"...…"

The zombie guard stuttered, frozen like an NPC that had encountered an unexpected player action.

Of course, the document was forged. I had never studied education, nor had I ever heard of an actual teacher carrying such a document.

But what did it matter?

Who would call the Board of Education or a university to check if this was real? They had long migrated to Mars when half of Seoul had been blown away.

"But… this is a girls' school, isn’t it?"

"Ah. My gender transitioned. It's called TS disease, you see. I've awakened this ability."

"Uh…?"

The zombie guard, unsure whether to react as if such a ridiculous ability could exist or whether he was committing gender discrimination, was caught in a cruel situation for a pattern-following NPC.

"Um, no, well… Could you come in and wait? I’ll call the manager."

"Ah, I had called earlier today to say I’d be visiting for the alumni gathering, but it seems the message didn’t reach you. Let’s go in and wait, then."

"Th-thank you…"

I entered Baekwha Girls' High far too easily.

See.

This is the experience of a 109th cycle regressor.

[Is this really the best way…?]

I ignored the Saintess's sigh in my ear.

"…You’re an alumnus of our school?"

Blink.

Cheon Yo-hwa, meeting me in the student council room, blinked incessantly as she watched my every move.

Even the world’s necromancer couldn’t hide her confusion in front of a self-proclaimed graduate claiming to have TS disease.

"Yes. I heard a lot about you from the kids. You're Cheon Yo-hwa, right?"

"Uh…"

I treated her casually.

"They said an incredibly smart and quick-witted hubae became the student council president. It even made the rounds in our alumni network."

"That, um… thank you…?"

"By the way, I was part of the student council too, and now I’m the president of the alumni association."

"Oh…"

Cheon Yo-hwa shrank even more.

This was the weakness of those Awakeners who had created their own worldview-settings in their skulls.

They resist strongly against outsiders who ignore their settings, but they become infinitely weaker against visitors who faithfully adhere to them.

"We’re planning an alumni gathering, and the friends want to visit the school they haven’t seen in a while."

"Oh, I see…"

And this was exactly my intention.

The natural predator of a lunatic is a lunatic with a higher level of madness. The truth of reciprocity proved itself once again.

Why? You say you’re a student, even the president of a historically prestigious school.

Ah, are you really going to refuse the heavenly sunbae alumni president?

"Right. We’ll avoid disrupting classes, but could we possibly use a classroom after school?"

"J-Just a moment, please wait!"

Cheon Yo-hwa stood up and went to a corner of the student council room. Ah, for reference, there were about a dozen other students in the student council room at the moment.

They were not zombies. All were living, breathing humans. Perhaps these were the true members of the 'Baekwha Girls' High Guild.'

"Uh, what do we do? She says she’s a sunbae…"

The guild members of Baekwha whispered to each other.

"Doesn’t make sense. Can gender really change like that?"

"If you think about it, President Yo-hwa's powers are more amazing, so theoretically it's possible…"

"But what if it’s a lie?"

"However, she knew the president’s name without being introduced."

"Let’s test it."

"What kind of test?"

"If she really graduated from here, she should know things only someone from Baekwha Girls' High would know. Let’s ask questions that only an alumna could answer."

They thought they were whispering, but I heard everything.

"Excuse me…"

"Yes?"

"Do you know what we call our dormitory?"

I knew this test was coming.

And I had prepared thoroughly for this very situation over the past several months.

[It’s called Baekwha Hall, but students usually just call it the dormitory.]

Ah, that's Saintess, an Awakener with the ability called Clairvoyance—she can observe any Awakener as she wishes.

You might not know, but I've been living side by side with you for more than half a year because I specially asked the Saintess to do so.

"Baekwha Hall, but we usually just call it the dormitory, you know."

"And where’s our cafeteria…?"

"Go out here, down to the first floor, then a bit down the left corridor."

"And the name of our discipline director…?"

"Oh, the Gorilla? He's been around a long time. When I was in the dorms, the dorm supervisor always had permed hair, is he still like that?"

"...…"

Cheon Yo-hwa’s pupils wavered.

As a last resort, she brought out a yearbook. She flipped to the section for my supposed graduating year, the 96th.

Of course, when she looked at the yearbook, so did the Saintess.

"And could I possibly hear the names of some of your sunbae friends…?"

"Han Ye-sol. Imi-ri. Park Ha-yoon. Kim Ji-yu. Kim Ye-rin."

"……"

I stood up.

"Why do you keep asking weird questions?"

"Huh?"

"Are you doubting me? Wow, Baekwha has really changed. In my time, we always sent at least two to Seoul National University. Are you guys preparing well for the SATs? As student council president, you should at least be aiming for Seoul National, right?"

"……"

"Yo-hwa."

"Yes…"

"Let’s get along well in the future."

"Yes, sunbae…"

That day, the regressor gained a well-behaved necromancer hubae.

Footnotes:

[1] Dangun or Tangun, also known as Dangun Wanggeom, was the legendary founder and god-king of Gojoseon, the first Korean kingdom, around present-day Liaoning province in Northeast China and the northern part of the Korean Peninsula. 

[2] Sunbae is the senpai / senior equivalent in Korean culture, likewise, hubae is junior.

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