I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary

“You had this Elma-san guide you for today, so treating me to this much can be considered cheap, right?”

The disappointing elf grinned happily as she stuck a straw inside a bottle made of unknown material.

“Yup. It’s a steal.”

But right when I left the store and looked around, I ended up seeing something unexpected.

“……Haah. Gah. Ugh.”

“Stay still, you damn bitch!”

“Gehehe… We finally caught ya.”

“She ended up getting a bit dirty, but she’ll do just fine.”

“Let’s just get to it, man! I can’t stand it anymore!”

A young girl was being dragged into a back alley by seedy guys who looked like delinquents. They seemed to have chased her down. Judging from their earlier convo, it was easy to imagine just what they’ll do to the girl.

“Hold it right there.”

I reached out for the grip of my laser gun and was about to step forward when my belt was suddenly grabbed. It was naturally Elma who stopped me.

“Are you just going to let that slide?”

“Is she your acquaintance?”

“Not really. But…”

The girl desperately resisted her captors but was gradually cornered deeper inside the alley. Our eyes met. Her pleading gaze struck me.

“If so, then it’s not our business. Leave it be.”

“You…”

“Now look here, mister. That kind of thing happens all the time in this galaxy. Don’t tell me you’re going to stick your neck in every time you encounter that sort of stuff? It won’t be enough, no matter how many lives you’ve got. Those who can’t even protect themselves are just prey. Even if you help her out now, she’ll just end up getting into the same sort of trouble later.”

This woman’s point was blunt and practical. I’m neither a god nor some sort of superhero. I was just a half-baked, wet-behind-the-ears mercenary wannabe.

“You aren’t some protagonist of a heroic saga. You’re just one guy with a starship.”

As Elma lectured me, the girl was finally completely subdued and disappeared inside the alley on one of the thugs’ shoulders. Her gaze was still directed at me and her hands kept reaching out to plead for help. But those outstretched hands were simply unable to reach me.

“Yeah, that’s true…”

What Elma’s saying has some truth to it. But was it “true” for me as well?

“You really think I’d say that!? You cold-hearted disappointing elf!”

I can’t just allow this shit! If I abandoned that girl now, I won’t be able to get any proper sleep from guilt. Everytime I’d remember that girl’s helpless expression, I’m sure my morale would be shaved off until there’s nothing left. Just spare me from that.

“Wai-“

I swept Elma’s hand which was holding onto my belt away, threw my baggage down and ran inside the alley. I removed the laser gun from its holster and gripped it tight. I set the power output to the minimum.

“Just give up already bitch!”

“Don’t struggle. Won’t ya learn until ya get to feel some pain?”

“Nooo! Noooooo!”

“Guess I need to hit you good so you’d stay still—”

One of the thugs surrounding the girl inside the alley raised his fist. I aimed the muzzle of the laser gun at his arm in one smooth motion and pulled the trigger.

A sound akin to rushing electricity rang out, and a bright flash dyed the narrow alleyway in crimson. Moments after, the thug cried out in a pained voice.

“Giiiih!?”

The laser shot I fired hit his raised fist dead on. I’ve never fired a real gun before this, but I luckily managed to hit my target for some reason. I don’t think my experience playing FPS games would help much in this situation, but I’m glad it worked out anyway.

“Wha—!?”

I aimed my gun at the remaining confused thugs and pulled the trigger. I pulled it repeatedly.

Each time a crimson flash ran through the alley, the men miserably screamed. As expected, the minimum power setting doesn’t pack enough punch to kill people.

“That huuuuurts!”

“Ow! Oooow!?”

“Aieeeeee~!?”

It won’t kill but it seems to be really painful. It would be a bit of a problem if I went any further than this, so after torturing them for a bit more, I screamed threateningly at the thugs.

“Get lost punks! You won’t end up with just burns next time!”

The thugs hurriedly disappeared deeper inside the alley while sporting terrified expressions. The only ones who remained in the area were the laser gun-toting me and the young girl who was leaning against the wall with disheveled clothes and staring intently into my face.

I walked past her in the direction those thugs fled towards while still holding up my gun. I called out to her.

“I’m gonna keep watch, so hurry and fix your clothes. We have to get out of here soon.”

“…Ah! Yes!”

The young girl answered in a voice that seemed close to tears, and rustling sounds of clothes being fixed came from behind me. I checked how the girl was doing while still pointing my gun towards the back of the alleyway. This would end up a lame joke if, by any chance, this girl was actually an accomplice of those thugs and stabs me in the back or something.

Thankfully, nothing like that happened and the girl who finished tidying herself turned towards me. When I urged her to run back to the entrance of the alleyway with my gaze, the girl whose eyes turned puffy and red-rimmed tearfully nodded and rushed out right away. I followed soon after.

“Welcome back.”

When I got out of the alley, Elma greeted me while carrying the baggage I threw down earlier. Her face clearly displayed an exasperated expression.

“So what are you going to do about that girl?”

“What do you mean…?”

When I turned towards the girl, she also turned towards me. We kept staring at each other.

Now that I got a good look at her, she was actually a really pretty girl, although she got herself a little dirty from that earlier scuffle. Her height was on the smaller side. I was about a head taller than her. But in contrast to her height, her pair of womanly assets were of a size incomparable with those sported by the cold-hearted disappointing elf. I thought big breasted lolis only existed in the world of 2D, but to think they actually existed in reality as well.

Her eyes and hair were of the same reddish-brown color; akin to tea. Her face was of the cuter variety. Yup, instead of describing her as a beauty, it would be more appropriate to call her a cute girl. The clothes she was wearing were a bit soiled and damaged in some places due to the incident with those thugs earlier.

“Stop staring at her and answer me.”

“I didn’t really think it through when I rescued her. What would be the best course of action senpai?”

“That’s right, isn’t it? You didn’t think it through huh. I was a fool for asking. Here. I’m going now.”

Elma sighed as she handed back my things and started walking away. I see. So that’s how you wanna play it huh.

“Ee~h… Was Elma-senpai actually a half-baked person who would abandon her kouhai after getting her reward?”

After hearing my words, Elma paused her steps as her long ears trembled.

“Can’t be helped then. It’s my fault for not realizing what kind of person she was anyway. And I thought she was such a great senpai and everything.”

As I continued to goad her, Elma’s ears trembled even more. Just one more push left.

“I guess the uncle from the Mercenary Guild was way more reliable than a cold-blooded, small chested disappointing elf huh? I can’t believe she’d just abandon a kouhai like that.”

“I’m gonna murder you, bastard!”

She finally couldn’t take it anymore and rushed back with tremendous momentum. She grabbed me by the chest while fuming. Oh, scary.

“As expected of Elma-senpai! Like I thought, Elma-senpai wasn’t the kind to leave her kouhai and a poor young girl in the lurch like that after all. Amazing~! How admirable~!”

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you…? Ha~ah. Why do I even bother to take care of this kind of stuff…?”

“It’s a good way to kill time right? Do your best♡ Do your best♡”

“If you don’t shut that cheeky mouth of yours soon, I’ll pull your tongue out.”

“Roger!”

When I offered my apologies, Elma sighed and closed her eyes in defeat. Wahahaha! It’s your fault for calling me out to kill some time. Just give up already.

“You already ignored my warning earlier. Are you telling me you’re still willing to listen?”

“That depends on what you’re gonna tell me. Please say something which would put smiles on both my and this girl’s faces.”

“……”

Elma displayed a really disgusted face. Don’t make that kind of expression lady. Your beautiful looks would be ruined.

“So what exactly do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking of having her board my ship as a crew member. Maybe I could entrust her with guard duty or gathering intel?”

“Guard duty huh…? Do you like this type of girl, perhaps?”

“Like…? Well, I do think she’s a cute girl.”

I couldn’t really say it out loud, but her future looked really promising, with those heavyweight knockers and all. When I moved my gaze towards the girl, she looked up at me with her two hands clasping each other like she was in prayer. Her face looked red, and her body was trembling.

“Anyway, let’s get out of this place first. Let’s go somewhere we can rest up and calm down a bit.”

“…It’ll be your treat.”

“Aye aye, ma’am! Come on then. We won’t do anything bad to you. If you’re having difficulty walking, you can grab onto me.”

“……Yes.”

The girl timidly nodded and lightly grasped the hem of my jacket. You could grab on more firmly y’know. My jacket’s quite sturdy, so it won’t get stretched out that easily.