I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

Of course, there would be knights around the castle, but she had a feeling she could make it somehow as long as she avoided Fernan’s eyes. 

Julia, who was about to take off her steps, reached out to him just in case. She waved her hand cautiously towards his eyes, but Fernan didn't open his eyes. 

But even before she could straighten her body, a firm hand grabbed her and pulled her back.

"…Ah!" 

In a flash, Julia was held in his arms. Before she knew it, his half-open golden eyes were staring at her.

His hand wrapped around her waist pulled her closer to him. She had to look at him helplessly as she sat on the hard thighs.

"Where are you going?"

A somewhat faint voice sounded in her ear. Julia tried to sit up, but his firm hands did not budge.

Fernan murmured, lowered his head slightly.

“Let’s go together tomorrow.”

With those words, he gently held Julia’s and leaned her against his chest. Julia could feel his heartbeat through their colliding bodies.

Fernan just slumped down and gently put his forehead on Julia's shoulder.

He didn't say anything else.

Julia tried to push him out, but the big hands wrapped around her waist did not easily fall off.

‘…Did he fall sleep?’

Staring at him with a perplexed expression, Julia eventually let go.

It was an uncomfortable position, but it was useless to try to move.

Giving up and letting out a small sigh, Julia relaxed her rigid body.

After gazing over his shoulder for a while with a dazed expression, Julia lowered her eyelids lightly.

Perhaps it was because of warmth coming from him. Her eyes grew heavier.

At some point, Julia, who was leaning on his chest, closed her eyes completely.

***

The next day, Julia was able to go outside the castle for the first time in a very long time.

It was thanks to the many times her doctor had told her to move her body as much as possible.

As if it were natural, Fernan held her hand, but Julia was unusually obedient.

The path he led was to the rear garden of the castle.

As soon as she took a step outside, Julia felt dizzy for a while in the subtle sunlight.

After all this time, Julia realized how long she had been trapped. With a buzzing sound, she turned her gaze and arrived in front of the glass greenhouse.

As she entered, the first thing she saw was a flower bed full of lilies.

For a while, Julia was transfixed by the white expanse of the flower bed.

“As you said, this whole place is filled with white flowers.”

At Fernan’s quiet words, Julia blinked slowly.

Only then did she remember saying that she would fill this greenhouse with only lilies.

It had been a long time since she visited the greenhouse, so today was the first time she saw so many flowers planted like this.

"If there's anything else you want to do, feel free to do it."

Fernan looked at her. He was calm as usual, but there was a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“You can do everything as you please.”

‘So, don't try to run away anymore.’

Julia could fully anticipate that he had not spoken.

Perhap Fernan thought that she would be satisfied if he give her material things.

But that wasn't what Julia wanted.

She wished for a life of loving and being loved in peace, without hurting and without worrying.

But now she was too tired to wish for such love from Fernan.

“If it's love you want from me, then there's nothing I can't give you.”

He had said that but Julia knew better. The love he said he could give and the love she wanted were completely different concepts.

At one time, just one glance from him was enough.

There was a time when she selfishly thought that Fernan was her only hope.

She thought that this man was the only one who could protect her in this hellish life.

Because he was her first love, and at the same time, he was the first family she had ever had after escaping the shadows of the Marquis family.

Family…yes, funny enough, she thought they could be a family.

Julia took a step forward, then she bent down and looked at the beautifully planted white flowers around the small fountain.

With a snap, she tore off a petal. It was something she would never have done in her normal life.

As she looked at the petals in her hand, Julia opened her mouth for the first time.

“I'll stay by Your Highness' side.”

She stood up and turned around. When she raised her head, her eyes met Fernan’s immediately.

He seemed inwardly surprised and his eyes wavered slightly. But the look in his eyes, which soon narrowed again, seemed to indicate that he was trying to figure out if she was sincere. 

It still didn’t look like she meant it. So she was going to make him believe it from now on.

All Fernan wanted was for her to remain here. Then she would do as he wished and he would loosen his security.

“I won't think of divorce any more."

She would not upset him with any more useless pride. After he believed her words and removed all surveillance, when he wouldn’t give her his full attention anymore. She could escape then.

….

At first glance everything seemed to have returned to its original position.

Julia no longer spent her time just buried in bed. She ate at appropriate times, exercised, and regained her health.

From then on, Fernan no longer locked her in his bedroom. She escaped the confinement with a single phrase: I won’t think of divorce anymore. 

As such, Julia was once again free to roam the castle, but that didn't mean the watchful eyes disappeared.

There were still knights staying around her, and she had to be followed wherever she went, even inside the castle.

‘…I already expected this, so it's okay.'

Julia did nothing. She didn't even try to get out of the castle.

Yes, the day continued to look glancingly peaceful.

When evening came, Julia slowly made her way to the dining room.

When she was confined, she always ate by force in the bedroom, 

but now she naturally ate in the dining room, facing Fernan.

"Good evening, Your Highness."

Julia greeted, sounding as friendly as she once had. Fernan stared at her. 

“Good evening.”

The man, who had always failed to respond to her greetings, now gave a short reply.

Fernan stared at Julia until she sat down and only after he saw her take the fork and put the food in her mouth did he begin to eat.

Julia continued to eat quietly and glanced at him.

Fernan still didn't seem to believe her sincerity. However, he didn't particularly question or confirm it.

Feeling her gaze on him, Fernan suddenly looked at her. Julia opened her mouth slightly avoiding the gaze.

"Your Highness."

Then she turned to him again, her eyes serene.

"After dinner, let’s go for a walk together."

"…"

“I want to walk with you.”

A cautious color appeared on her face. It was because she was nervous that it might have sounded contrived.

But instead, it peeled back Fernan’s caution, and she heard a more soothing voice than usual from him.

"Yes, let's go together."

Julia felt an unfamiliar emotion for a while, but just nodded.

After finishing the meal, they left the dining room side by side and headed straight toward the back gate.

The snow-covered path was clean and tidy, having been diligently cleared by the servants for several days.

When Julia first arrived here, the landscaping of the Grand Duke's castle garden wasn’t pleasing to the eye.

However, ever since Julia showed her will to repair the garden one day, finally the ground was changed and a greenhouse was built, and now the landscape was especially beautiful.

In the spring, it became even more beautiful with flowers.

‘Maybe I won’t be here then,’ Julia mumbled with a subtle look on her face as she walked silently.

No words were exchanged between them, except for the sound of footsteps.

She glanced at Fernan, but his face was obscured by the dimness of the sky.

‘How long would it take to fool that man perfectly and escape?’

She wanted to leave here before this winter was over, at least.

Before the will to escape was completely gone.

After being lost in her thoughts for a while, Julia impulsively grabbed his fingers.

The feel of his hand wrapped around hers made Fernan stop.