Ch 39 – You Don’t Know The Half Of It
Grease had many pick up lines, all of them universally horrible. She was a well known misandrist. Her hatred and distain for meninists was legendary. She told crude stories about men, constantly made sexist jokes, and was the reason for a sexual harassment law suit. She was infamous for heading out to bars with her drinking buddies and striking out almost universally as she somehow managed to offend every man she ever hit on.
It was intentional.
It was actually a defense mechanism. It wasn't just the attack in her youth that led to her life long hatred of men's rights activists, although that was part of the problem. The problem with Grease was unfortunately two fold. Two different medical conditions that tend to occur with certain power sets. Not always, mind you, but it happens with enough regularity to be known problems.
First of all, she was a regenerator. Like Jack discovered when he used Regeneration to 'get ready' for another bout of 'lovemaking', regenerators frequently have the problem that they rarely are 'fully satisfied'. Not all regenerators have this problem, but it happens enough that it has become known as Regenerator Sexual Dysfunction Syndrome. RSDS is actually sought after in men for the porn industry, but it is hell for a woman.
In social circles where casual sex takes place, it is considered rude for the woman to climax first. If a woman wants to be known as a 'good lover', she needs to wait for the man to 'arrive', then she may conclude her business. This gives most women a very narrow window to 'finish up', unfortunately. However, with time and effort, it is certainly possible for most women to learn enough self control that this isn't really a problem. For regenerators, RSDS is such a problem that it leads to wanting a quantity of sex that most men can not, or will not supply. Unlike Adam, most RSDS suffers cannot turn off regeneration, and so they must turn to drugs that suppress regeneration, a very costly and expensive option, or months, if not years of therapy, assuming you can find a guy willing to put up with the relentless demands.
The second medical condition is common to speedsters.
Premature orgasm, or PO, is a condition that effects many women in their youth, but frequently is chronic in speedsters. The increased metabolism doesn't just affect movement, reaction time, and how fast they think, but how fast they climax as well. Combine these two conditions in one individuals, and you not only make sex a complete nightmare, but a very embarrassing social situation as well. Having one or the other is grounds for mockery, but to have both in one person, that is the subject of stand up comedy routines.
And yes, actual stand-up comedy routines. The society of reverse world is so censored and curated that modern day comedians have very little that they can safely mock. The only safe group you can target with impunity happens to be human females. Once you are limited to mocking women only, what are you going to make fun of that most of the crowd would agree with? Sexually dysfunctional women, and virgins. This is not only tolerated, but encouraged by the powers that be, because the powers that be need as many pregnant ladies as they can get. Anything that encourages women to have children is good in reverse world.
Because it is public knowledge such conditions are known to affect speeders and regenerators, Grease had preemptively become the biggest woman-whore cape known in Empire City, without actually ever getting laid. Her ham-fisted attempts to 'get some pipe' always ended terribly. When she failed, she laughed, snapped her fingers, then bragged about how she got laid just last night so it doesn't matter. There are always more fish in the sea.
The exception was Balloon Boy.
A diversity hire, Balloon Boy was a male cape with excellent credentials, the best in references, and in many ways seemed to be competent. If he had been a woman, he would have been a second stringer, at best, but since the US Government has diversity quota requirements, The Rascals bent the rules and put him on the main team. He was a young lad of eighteen and had a body made out of rubber. He could inflate himself and float. Not... fly. Just float. If he needed to get out of water, he could do it quite easily, mind you.
He had limited shapeshifting ability and could grow to rather astounding sizes. Oddly enough, he was quite strong and had a rather impressive area of effect punch that was wonderful for stunning people. It is kinda hard to dodge a fist that is about ten feet wide. The funny thing was, he would just stick his thumb in his mouth and blow on it to inflate it. In many ways, he was a bit like a living cartoon character. He couldn't dish out the damage to be considered top tier, but he was very good at crowd control. He could also inflate himself into a massive balloon to catch people falling from great heights, so it wasn't like he was useless.
So when one time Balloon Boy did his fist inflating thing, Grease made a very crude joke about how he could inflate her any time.
Balloon Boy smiled and said he might take her up on that.
She wasn't prepared for that response. Out of desperation, she got cruder and cruder, trying very hard to scare him off, but no matter how rude she was, it never seemed to discourage him. As it turned out, he happened to be one NASTY guy. Normally he was just all smiles and friendly when their were any witnesses, but get him alone and BOY did he have a potty mouth. Grease actually started to fall for him. For the first time in her life it seemed like she had found a kindred spirit. They tried to have sex. After all, ANY part of him could inflate to... ahem... ANY SIZE. Should be fun, right?
It ended horribly.
It ended so badly he wound up quitting the team. A month later he filed the law suit. It was settled out of court. Part of the settlement involved keeping quiet on the more embarrassing details. That was a year ago. The Rascal's bank account was still recovering, and Grease's heart was as well. Most people would have booted Grease from the team, but they stuck by her, even with as much of a headache as she caused.
It is important to understand all this so that the following can be put in proper context.
Grease's eyes abruptly rolled up into her head as she shuddered rather violently and creamed her pants.
Adam was mostly on top of Grease, forcing her back onto the couch with a kiss. He had one hand behind her head as he kissed her, with his other hand rubbing her crotch. He had barely begun to even think of reaching for the zipper on the back of her outfit when she had an absolutely, over the top, full body, from the tip of the toes to the top of her head, ORGASM.
Adam froze in terror, wondering if he did something that was killing her.
Grease grabbed him with both hands and dug her fingers into his shoulders while her body reacted at super speed to his 'heavy petting'. It took only a few seconds for it to pass, but pass it did, leading to an extremely flushed and panting super heroine humping Adam's hand while her half open eyes gave the impression she was about to pass out.
Adam might be a new personality, but he was still a divergence of Jack and thus had memories of the few partners that old Jack had been with over the years. The flush in her cheeks, the heat from her skin, the way ever muscle in her body was now relaxed, it was obvious she just had one thunderous 'O' or a grand mal seizure. In the moment, Adam was fifty/fifty. He figured it was best to do nothing and wait it out.
Adam was the first to speak, "Uh... you okay?" He remained very still, afraid the answer was going to be anything else but 'yes'.
Grease was all groggy for a minute before her RSDS kicked in. She started blinking as she came back to her senses. She first looked at Adam with wide eyes, then, hesitantly, lifted her head to look down her body. Adam did as well.
Her crotch was soaked.
Adam abruptly knew the sensation of flight as Grease, at super speed, threw him off and fled the room so fast he was spinning in the air from the turbulence. He didn't have one of the sliding security doors on his door. That was going to be installed next week, so he got to see the door slam open so fast it bounced off his wall, leaving a hole where the doorknob impacted with the drywall. Adam landed, bounced off the couch, and went tumbling to the floor. He stared out the door, listening to the retreating sound of crackling lightning. He tried to compose his thoughts while his nostrils were filled with the odd combination of ozone and sex.
"I fudged up."