I was summoned by a super villainess to another universe

"Do you need to search me?"

 

 

Jack was being escorted into the building and past security. There was a remarkable amount of automated weapons and cameras set up all over the place. The building looked like it was ready for a full on assault by an army. As he walked through some of the check points, there was evidence that perhaps it had repelled just such an attack, at least once. The Golden Knight had come out to meet him and after a short conversation, and a bit of scowling, she ordered him to follow her, "No. It is quite obvious-" She looked him up and down, obviously judging his skimpy outfit, "That you aren't armed."

Jack nodded and responded with a cheerful expression, "Awfully trusting, but I supposed someone would have to be suicidal to try and sneak in a weapon to this place." They walked up to a sliding door that opened as they approached. Stepping through, they entered a rather large room that seemed to be a combination recreation and general living area. There was furniture of one sort or another scattered about. The middle of the room was dominated by a dining table under a large, antique, brass candelabra, of all things. One whole wall of the room was dominated by a giant, curved TV that Grease was sitting dead center in front of as she watched a TV show that was dominated by a ten-foot tall, grey-skinned man in a court room. It looked like he might be the defense attorney, but it was hard to tell since there was no sound. Perhaps Grease was using earbuds or something.

Grease glanced up as the two entered, then did a double take, "Whoa." She grabbed a remote and paused the screen so she could stand up and give Jack her full attention, "Angel actually came to visit." A sly grin slowly spread across her face, "Nice."

Golden Knight walked towards Grease, "Could you tear yourself away from the television for a few minutes to keep an eye on our guest?" She walked past Grease and headed for a door on the other side of the room, "Try not to get distracted while I let Sass know her guest is here."

Grease looked at herself to inspect the state of her clothes. She was dressed in blue sweat pants with a matching t-shirt that read, 'I am NOT a Lesbian, but 20 Bucks is 20 Bucks'. Her hand briefly blurred as she rapidly wiped away some cheese dust on her thigh, "No problem!" There was a flash as she moved next to Jack, "Hi ya, sweet cheeks!" She hooked a thumb at the screen behind her, "Was just catching up on the new, legal drama He-Bulk. Wanna join?"

Jack looked up at the frozen screen which was focused on a grey man who was apparently giving some sort of impassioned speech while pacing in front of a jury. Jack walked closer to admire the media center, "Holy Moley. What a set up. I have never seen a screen this

big that was that clear." He held up a hand and waved it in from of the monitor while looking in the opposite direction, "It's LED, right? Not a projection?" He turned back, "This guy's mole has got to be a foot wide!"

Grease looked a little confused, "You... don't have big screen TVs in your world? Seriously?"

Jack looked at her, "Not this big, or rather, not this big and something anyone could afford." He looked back, "I don't think the jumbo-tron in Times Square is this big.

Grease arched her eyebrows, "Oh. Well, Nine Volt made it." She paused, then snapped her fingers, "Oh. You haven't met her. Nine is our techie. She's very good." She gestured at the screen, "She put this together in a weekend. Got the parts from radio shack, I think."

Jack looked surprised, "You have radio shacks? Wow. They all went out of business when I was like... eight." He looked back at the TV, "So this is He-Bulk. Is there a She-Bulk?"

Grease gave Angel a double take, "You never-" She snapped her fingers, "Oh yeah. You wouldn't know the story. And no, it is Bulk and He-Bulk. No She-Bulk. Say, what's it like where you are from?"

Jack frowned slightly, "It's... a place to which I can never return. They already tried and I don't really want to talk about it."

Grease winced, "Oh. Uh... right." She zoomed over to flop down on the couch, "Well, that's me! Sticking my foot in my mouth at the speed of sound!" She sounded like she was trying to be humorous, but her expression showed she actually regretted being offensive.

Jack walked over to sit down next to her, "You can fit your foot in your mouth?" He grabbed his own foot and started to pull while focusing his monads on making his body as flexible as possible. It still was effort to get his foot up to his mouth, "Hrmm..." Grease just stared directly at his crotch as he brought his sneaker up to his mouth. He lightly touched the end of his shoe to his nose, then let go, "That's as close as I can get. I'm not sure how that would be a useful ability, but I'm impressed you can do that." He rubbed his low back, "I could feel that in my spine."

Grease kept staring for a few moments longer before she abruptly burst out laughing. She snorted and lightly slapped him in the arm with the back of her hand, "I like you!"

Jack did his best to keep a straight face, but wound up smirking softly, "Thanks! I like you, too." He looked up at the still frozen picture, "What's a He-Bulk?"

Grease straightened up, "Oh. In the seventies there was this woman working on how to make a super soldier. The super villain problem was getting out of hand and the government was running a number of different programs to figure out a way to improve the effectiveness of the US army."

She sighed, "Well, her program was getting cut and in an attempt to prove her theories, she irradiated himself. At first it seemed to have failed, but as it turns out, whenever she lost her temper, she suddenly bulked out and turned into a giant, rage filled grey skinned monster."

She fiddled with the remote, "Long story short, a corrupt arm of the government wanted to steal her work and tried to assassinate her. They wound up killing her husband instead. Since they couldn't catch her, they framed her for his murder. She spent the next ten years on the run trying to clear her name."

Jack frowned, "Did she?"

Grease nodded, "Oh yeah. Eventually she was exonerated. She even managed to catch the woman behind the whole thing and put her behind bars. The whole story got turned into a movie. Hence her famous line, 'It wasn't me, it was the one armed woman'. After that, Betty Banner became an advocate for meta-human rights and fought for years for just and sane legislation. She became a US senator before she died."

Jack squinted, "So... The Bulk was a real life female superhero. That would make the He-Bulk...?"

"Fictional." Grease slowly shook her head, "The rights to her story was bought up by Seven Heaven. They're a multinational corporation that owns a bunch of theme parks and also has an entertainment wing. They do movies and TV shows. They made up a fictional cousin to The Bulk and the He-Bulk gains Bulks powers, except that He-Bulk is also an aspiring lawyer."

She hunched forward to glare at the massive monitor before them, "I'm hate watching the show. I mean I REALLY hate this trash. It's revisionist history. They're trying to make the He-Bulk better in every way than the Bulk and even steal her accomplishments by making him a lawyer all the while trying to cloak it in a meninist agenda to deflect the criticism." She turned to Jack, "It isn't just the 'boys rule, girls drool' bullshit that annoys me. It's the fact it is supposed to be a comedy and it just isn't funny! Damn lerts ruin everything."

"What's a lert?"

"It's when an alart goes off." She snorted at her little joke. Jack didn't laugh. Her snickering trailed off to a sigh as she looked off into the distance, apparently embarrassed.

Grease glanced back to Jack, "Oh. Right. You wouldn't know. The men's rights movement's motto is, 'You have to be alert at all times for sexism'. So, those of us who think it's all bullshit call them 'Lerts'."

Jack made an 'oh' sound, "Because you have to be Ah LERT." He nodded, "I get it, I get it."

Grease suddenly froze up, "Not that- uh... Not that I have a problem with men's rights. I think they should have equal rights. I think they HAVE equal rights. The problem is they can't accept biological REALITY." She started talking with her hands, "I mean, some of these freaks can't even define what a Man is. We are talking about basic biology here, but they want to redefine what is and isn't a man. It's goddamn insane, I tell you!"

Jack leaned his elbow on the back of the couch so he could look right at her and give her his full attention, ~I wonder how common it is that women think like you.~ He slowly nodded his head as she spoke, "I thought a man had an X and a Y chromosome."

"EXACTLY!" She stabbed a finger right at Jack, "It is that simple! But you say that these days, and you get sued!" She gritted her teeth, "I swear to God, you just can't trust men. You think he's interested, but he's just trying to set you up so he can file a sexual harassment law suit and fleece your superhero team."

"What's sexual harassment?" Jack tilted his head to the side and looked as blank faced as possible. Grease froze up and looked at Jack out of the corner of her eye, "Uh... well..."

 

 

She didn't get to finish as in the distance they both clearly heard someone shout, "YOU LEFT HIM ALONE WITH GREASE?"