I Tried To Be Her Loyal Sword

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Chapter 11

No matter how I failed to interpret Rainer’s character, the Rainer in the novel never spoke so sweetly to anyone besides Aria.

“Tell that to my younger sister.”

I felt like there was something I didn’t know. It was uncomfortable, like missing out on the epilogue of a certain novel.

“I thought he would keep bombarding me with questions about swords day and night.”

Rainer seemed uninterested in my swordsmanship. His gaze, persistently fixed on me, and the slight curl of his lips proved that.

It seemed like he was curious about me as a person.

“Do you know me?”

Yes. His attitude resembled that of a person who had longed to meet a revered figure.

“What do you plan to do now that you know who I am? Did you receive a request to dig up information on Mir?”

It was sharp despite the unlikelihood of it being true. My identity as Kashmir was linked directly to Aria’s safety, making me sensitive about it.

Taking a couple of steps back with my guard up, he wiped the smile off his face and spoke bluntly.

“I’m only curious about you, not the Black Calamity.”

‘You’re not Rainer Einhart, are you?’

Rainer looked like a wet puppy. Every time he opened his mouth, I fell deeper into a maze.

“A crazy sword fanatic in a novel doesn’t ask a swordsman about swords? You’re curious about me, not a mercenary?”

Rainer’s unfathomable ways were enough to heighten my vigilance.

“Why are you curious about me and not the Black Calamity?”

The corners of Rainer’s lips slowly curled upwards. His smile was still as beautiful as a painting, but it lacked the brilliance it had just a moment ago.

‘…Why does he look so sad?’

It was a smile tinged with bitterness and wistfulness.

He let out a small sigh, his lowered gaze stirring a sense of guilt within me.

A strange sensation tickled my chest—a nagging feeling that had been creeping at the back of my mind.

‘A sense of déjà vu.’

Why?

What possible reason could I have for feeling déjà vu with Rainer? Just when I was caught in confusion, unable to understand Rainer standing before me or even myself—

His neatly coral-colored lips parted again, paralyzing my thoughts.

“You said you would tell me, Kashmir.”

Bang!

With a loud crash, Rainer’s back hit the alley wall. While he blinked in surprise, my sword, moving at transcendent speed, touched his white neck.

His lightly cut skin spilled red blood. Slowly, I moved the sword along the wall beside his face. My head buzzed crazily.

“What the hell are you?”

Rainer Einhart knows my identity.

Someone knew the true identity of the mercenary, Mir.

“I’m asking you. What are you?”

His rough voice, laced with malice, reverberated through the air.

A menacing energy filled the alley. The black aura bursting from my body seemed ready to pounce on Rainer any moment.

Rainer’s body trembled, unable to budge against the sword blocking him. A physiological reaction to facing a swordsman determined to unleash his killing intent.

With emotionless eyes, I locked gazes with his golden ones. Despite my trembling body, his gaze remained steady, watching me without a flicker of confusion.

Rainer stood less than an arm’s length away. His slightly faster breaths rang in my ears. The white skin on the nape of his neck was cut, blood oozing down.

The keen senses of a swordsman pricked at me. In this alley, where several foul odors mixed, particular smells struck my nose sharply.

The strong scent of blood. The distinctive metallic scent of steel.

The faint whiff of rosewood emanating from Rainer.

‘…I’ve smelled this before.’

My head felt like it would explode with the numerous thoughts racing through it. The déjà vu I felt from Rainer and his inexplicable demeanor.

How does he know my name? Why do I feel familiar with him? My thoughts seemed on the tip of my tongue yet remained distant.

Frustrated, I let out a sigh, then coldly whispered.

“It would be wise to answer if you value what’s on your neck.”

The blade sank deeper. Droplets of blood, once falling like drizzle, began to flow like the heavy raindrops of the monsoon. The scent of blood rising was nauseating, but I gritted my teeth to hold it back.

“How do you know my name?”

I gritted my teeth and growled. He merely trembled in the presence of my killing intent and continued to gaze at me with eyes full of an unknown light.

‘…Why isn’t he resisting?’

He was a powerful swordsman facing a swords master. Even if he tried to oppose me, he wouldn’t win, but he could hold out to an extent.

Yet, he showed no signs of resistance. His obediently lowered eyelids and hands—distanced from the sword at his waist—proved this.

A wave of nausea surged within me. A fragment of memory brushed through my mind.

“When we meet again after you grow stronger, will you tell me about yourself?”

A tiny figure drenched in the blood of monsters. The dark eyes that looked up at me. The freshness and nostalgia that resembled first love glimmered in those eyes.

‘…That can’t be.’

I wiped away the absurd hypothesis from my mind. That child could never be Rainer. They had only claimed to be a commoner and looked nothing like Rainer…

‘…Or were they different?’

My mind felt like lightning was striking it. I scrutinized Rainer like I was dissecting him. Even under the sharp gaze, he remained silent.

A quiet boy with black hair and blue eyes. An indifferent Rainer with silver hair and golden eyes.

‘That can’t be.’

Ripples formed in my pupils. My mouth slightly opened, but I disqualified it as an irrelevant thought. No matter how adept the swords master was, this was an excessive leap.

‘…I want to be like you.’

‘That child from back then could never be Rainer. Rainer is a noble, after all. There’s no reason for him to be there at that time. He doesn’t even appear in the novel.’

As I tried to erase the image of the boy overlapping Rainer’s face, I struggled to regain my composure. My mind raced, unable to keep up with the confusion.

“Our brave Captain of the Knights seems unafraid of death.”

I put on a cold expression and whispered lightly in his ear. Rainer flinched slightly.

“If you discover that I’m the Black Calamity Mir, you might realize I could easily kill someone like you…”

I slowly wiped the red blood flowing onto his white skin with my fingertip. Rainer, looking down, bit his lip.

Ever since I became known as the Black Calamity, rumors about Mir had begun to circulate.

“There are rumors that in villages that can’t pay their request fee, the children of that village are taken and cooked.”

Despite people’s admiration for me, slaying monsters with my black aura, they also feared that this calamity would one day turn toward themselves.

The Black Calamity Mir was both a source of fear and reverence for people.

“It’s about time to start talking.”

Despite all my threats, Rainer showed no signs of opening his mouth. Normally, people would jabber freely at the sight of a drawn sword, making the prolonged standoff awkward.

I narrowed the distance he couldn’t see because of the mask. How long had I waited? His lips, which had seemed coated with honey, finally slowly parted.

“Personally, I’ve been interested in you and have done some digging. I’m sorry.”

His tone was stiff and blunt, devoid of emotion. The golden eyes that had shone brilliantly when he first saw me were now deeply subdued.

Even having heard the answer I wanted, the awkwardness remained.

‘I was sure I’d get a response like that.’

Rainer and I had never met before, so it was obvious he’d learned my name from his investigation. There was no other way. We couldn’t have crossed paths…

‘Why does this feel so uncomfortable?’

Despite his unchanged expression, Rainer’s face somehow looked tragic.

In the midst of my confusion, I lowered the pressure of the sword against his neck.

“Where did you get that information?”

In any case, since he claimed to have conducted an investigation, I had no choice but to believe him. The Rainer from ‘That Night’ might be silent, but he’s not the type to speak lies, so I decided to drop my suspicions.

“I just happened to learn it. You needn’t worry; no one but me knows Mir’s real name.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes.”

‘…Is it really?’

I narrowed my eyes, trying to gauge his intentions. Rainer’s face remained emotionless, making it hard to read, but my instinct whispered that he was not lying.

‘Either way, Rainer isn’t the type to casually disclose others’ secrets.’

In the novel, he was the perfect knight—stiff yet upright.

Among the flood of diverse characters in the realm of novels, his rather plain personality was, paradoxically, admired as a classic due to the rarity of such characters.

‘I don’t sense any malice from him.’

Malice was nowhere to be found in Rainer’s deep golden eyes. What I saw instead was:

‘Sadness, anger, desire, longing.’

Unfathomable emotions intertwined to create that dark gaze.

Eventually, I sheathed my sword.

“Rainer Einhart.”

I called softly as he lifted his head, having been lost in thought.

“I will remember your name.”

Rainer’s pupils rippled. His cheeks turned a hint pink. The corners of his lips slightly lifted. For some reason, he looked delighted.

“So, you shouldn’t act recklessly. Please keep the true name of the mercenary Mir to yourself.”

“Ah.”

As I coldly wrapped things up, the slight smile on his lips quickly faded to its original position. Rainer bit his lip.

“…Yes.”

His voice, slightly lower, tickled my ears.

‘Why… does he look disappointed?’

Maybe it was just my imagination, but he appeared sulky in response to my threats. I held back the urge to be weird and sighed.

“I’m sorry for pointing my sword at you. I’m sensitive about this.”

“It’s fine. It’s my fault for investigating you first.”

We exchanged apologies, even if formally. Despite being as expressionless as before, Rainer seemed distinctly more somber than earlier, and it caught my attention.

‘…What does it matter?’

There were still many unresolved puzzles, but I had no more time to waste. I needed to hurry back to Aria.

“Then, I wish you a good day. Please take care of the aftermath.”

I thought it best to end on a polite note, turning to leave.

“Wait a moment.”

Rainer called me to a stop. As I slightly turned my head, I saw him biting and releasing his lip repeatedly. I waited for him to say whatever he was trying to say, and finally, he slowly opened his lips.

“…You were my long-cherished ideal. I wanted to become like you.”

It was an unexpected confession. But both Rainer and I took it seriously.

‘…I want to be like you.’

Oddly enough, I again saw that boy from back then overlapping with him.

‘…My head hurts.’

I pressed my temples. Even as I tried to stop, the theories kept swarming my mind, causing a whirlwind of confusion. With a long sigh, I rummaged through my spatial pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.

“Press the wound.”

I tossed the handkerchief to Rainer. He caught it lightly, his eyes boring into me.

‘Why does he look at me like that? Why does he want to be like me?’

“I wish you could become a better person than I am.”

‘You could be a better person than me.’

Saying something similar to what I had said to that boy back then was, indeed, impulsive.

I turned my head away, unable to see his expression. Until I exited the alley and returned to the café, there was no movement from him in that alley.