I Took the Heroine’s First Time in a Romance Fantasy Novel

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It has been two days since Johan and Rudella hid in the cave.

Even though Rudella had been unable to sleep much from laying on the cave floor no matter how much grass she spread out, she seemed to have adjusted to some degree now and was at least able to rest a bit.

“Are you feeling alright?”

Johan, who had just returned from outside, asked. His deep blue eyes had a relaxed look. However, there was something oddly enchanting about it, making Rudella instinctively catch her breath.

“I’m fine, but…”

Barely holding onto her senses, Rudella turned her worried gaze to Johan’s face and abdomen. The wounds were deepening.

“Are you alright? Your face is pale.”

“I’m fine. I’ve properly stopped the bleeding.”

Johan placed two rabbits he caught near the bonfire and leaned against the cave wall.

“You caught more rabbits.”

“They’re the easiest to catch and nutritious.”

There’s no point in trying to catch wild boars, and we can’t afford to catch anything else. Given the circumstances, finding fruit is also tough.

“Please endure just a bit longer.”

“I never complained…”

“It seems you’re feeling a bit possessive over the rabbits.”

Johan chuckled softly, and a bright smile that didn’t quite match his pale face spread across his features.

“…”

Seeing his smile made Rudella want to smile naturally too. Struggling to suppress her honest changing feelings, she averted her gaze. Her ears were burning red.

“…Only three days left now.”

Rudella awkwardly shifted the topic, causing Johan, who had been resting with his eyes closed, to look at her.

“Yes.”

“What are the plans?”

“First, we’ll wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“To reveal our position.”

Noticing Rudella’s head tilting slightly, Johan continued explaining.

“The Public Affairs Officers tracking our movement will discover the destroyed bridge. Then they’ll inevitably check that cliff. We’ll leave then.”

Rudella nodded slowly.

“I see…”

“Even if it’s frustrating, please bear with it a bit longer. It’s for the safety of Lady Bismarck.”

“I understand.”

Having said that, Johan smiled gently. His pale and haggard face radiated an alluring charm that made her heart race.

“Ahem.”

She tried to hide her trembling heart with a cough, but the emotions churning in her chest wouldn’t settle down easily.

Feeling heat rising to her ears, Rudella quickly turned her head and stroked her wrist. Meeting that man’s gaze made her heart race too fast.

It was a strange feeling, unfamiliar yet oddly not unpleasant.

The thrill and quickening of her heart felt delightfully sweet.

Crackle, crackle.

The sound of the bonfire crackled and filled the interior of the cave with the breaking of firewood.

Johan looked at the firewood and, wanting to break the suddenly awkward atmosphere, started a conversation.

“Lady Bismarck, do you have any hobbies?”

His voice was cautious. Johan was worried he might have brought up the wrong topic and looked for signs.

“Hobbies…”

Rudella stared blankly into the void beyond the bonfire, resting her chin on her hand. Her sky-blue eyes flickered delicately in the firelight.

“I haven’t had time for such things. As a Crown Princess, I had many public duties to attend to and much to learn.”

In the flickering of the flames, Rudella’s face momentarily darkened. There was a hint of exhaustion in her words, but it seemed almost dulled.

“My fate of becoming a queen didn’t allow me time. I had to live each day fiercely, clinging to administrative duties and learning how to serve my lord.”

Johan, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere, asked again.

“Didn’t you have any hobbies during your childhood or at the academy?”

“Well, I had to manage both studies and duties then too.”

“Then how do you relieve stress from work and studying?”

“…Is it really necessary to relieve it?”

Rudella tilted her head slightly. Her voice questioned dryly as her eyelids blinked slowly.

“Not really…”

Johan fell silent for a moment at her response. Rudella genuinely looked like she did not know, as if she had never acknowledged the feeling of “stress” until now.

‘The more I know, the more I think I understand why Rudella was such a character.’

When a person experiences extreme stress, they ultimately break down. And the shattered remnants of those emotions sometimes reconstruct themselves in a distorted way.

Rudella Bismarck’s cold and cruel demeanor seen in the story likely stemmed from this relentless oppression and loneliness.

“…I think it’s best to let at least some stress out. One of the biggest reasons people get sick is stress.”

Upon Johan’s words, Rudella silently looked at him. The reflection of the bonfire flickered in her eyes.

“How?”

“Well…”

Johan scratched his chin and pondered for a moment. Thinking further, he struggled to suggest any hobbies to her. The simplest answer would be best here.

“You try many things and choose something fun from there. Something you’ve been interested in is also fine.”

Rudella nodded briefly and rubbed her chin with her fingertips. She seemed lost in thought.

“…Since I’ve only focused on studying and duties, I have nothing that particularly interests me, and I can’t do many things. I just don’t have the time.”

“Oh.”

Johan closed his eyes. He had been careless. From the start, Rudella didn’t have such choices available to her.

“…I spoke too thoughtlessly.”

“Not at all. I find it funny even after I said it.”

Rudella looked at the bonfire, faintly smiling. There was a hint of loneliness imbued in that smile.

“…I worry about Lady Bismarck.”

“Why is that?”

“She feels like someone who’s somewhat broken.”

Rudella blinked as she accepted his words quietly. A brief silence passed.

“Oh, I don’t mean to belittle Lady Bismarck. It’s just that she seems like a person whose very emotions and sensibilities are broken… Anyway, that’s how I feel.”

The two most important things for a person—immediate, tangible responses that can be felt, emotions. And these emotions accumulate and evolve into an internalized emotional disposition, sensibility.

Rudella had these two aspects broken.

“Hmm. That might be true.”

She simply smiled calmly. That smile was a self-deprecating one, accepting her own broken inner self.

“I may not be able to help, but I must say this.”

“What is it?”

“If such a life continues, there will come a time when you’ll be thoroughly broken, and you won’t be able to return.”

“…Is that so? Will I break?”

In the seriousness of his words, Rudella hugged her knees tightly with a stern expression.

“Well, don’t take it too seriously, just think of it as my meddling. I can’t be responsible for Lady Bismarck.”

Rudella traced a line under her eyes as she spoke.

“Can’t you take responsibility?”

“…Huh?”

Johan’s face went blank. Suddenly, the scent of lilies wafted in.

Even in this musty cave, the lily scent lingering from her did not fade away.

“You’re asking me to take responsibility for you.”

What in the world was this person saying? Johan’s eyes widened. He didn’t know what to say.

“Heh heh, I was joking.”

Seeing Johan’s flustered reaction, Rudella chuckled softly, a subconscious act to hide this strange excitement.

“I never thought you would make such a joke.”

“Is it not allowed?”

“It’s not that it’s not allowed, but…”

It was unfamiliar. Who would have thought that a Crown Prince like Kasys, designated as the top-tier boundary, would make jokes in a situation like this?

Rudella said.

“You mentioned earlier to think of a way to relieve stress. I feel like that’s what this is.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. This time I’m having a pleasant time talking with you. It feels strange, but it’s a peculiar feeling.”

She buried her lips in her hugged knees. Her ears turned red, indicating she was feeling shy.

“Then when you’re feeling stressed, call for me. Didn’t you say you’d call often?”

“I would want to, but unfortunately, I have duties to attend to.”

“You’re misunderstanding. Time isn’t something made; it’s something you create.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

Johan added as he gazed at the cave ceiling.

“You need to be clever about it. When I could say I had business around the Royal Capital, call on me for escort duty.”

“Isn’t that deceiving others?”

“That’s how you create time. What’s wrong with deceiving someone? It’s not like it’s harming the Loggers.”

As Johan gazed at her with a bright smile and his blue eyes, Rudella quickly averted her gaze.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yes. Remember.”

As their conversation ended, an awkward atmosphere began to flow. Feeling the air grow heavy, Rudella quietly murmured.

“It’s starting to get chilly.”

“Ah, that’s only natural.”

It had just rained, and everything was damp, causing the temperature to drop.

Johan stood up from his spot and moved to sit next to her.

“Take my hand.”

“…My hand?”

“It’s a simple living magic.”

Johan smiled lightly and reached out his hand. Rudella hesitated, but when he gently wrapped his hand around hers first, a slight tingle of electricity ran through her fingertips.

“Ah…”

As she felt Johan’s touch distinctly, Rudella held her breath for a moment. His fingertips were rough, yet surprisingly soft and warm.

Realizing that Johan’s slightly relaxed blue eyes were directed at her, Rudella’s heart raced uncontrollably.

Even as she tried hard to hide her trembling hand, her heart didn’t calm. When Johan’s blue eyes gazed at her softly, the resonance from within her chest grew louder.

“I’m glad you’re warm.”

Johan looked at her with a bright smile. Rudella’s breath caught momentarily.

“…Thank you.”

Crackle, crackle.

The bonfire blazed cheerfully.

“But is it okay to use magic? Didn’t you say they’d trace your magic power…?”

“After a while, it should be fine. Still, I can’t use it for too long, just in case.”

Holding onto Rudella’s hand, Johan gazed at the gentle glow of the bonfire.

“It does feel warm this way.”

With his words, warmth slowly seeped into her body. A faint scent of rain and earth came from Johan.

Though the warmth transmitted through their hands initially felt awkward, Rudella gradually felt her body thawing in that warmth.

Peering through her half-closed eyelids at Johan’s side profile, her heart continued to race.

“…”

She subtly leaned her body and rested her head against Johan’s shoulder.

Johan merely tensed momentarily but did not strongly reject her.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Rudella’s heart pounded wildly.

Was it the heat from her body, or was it the warmth from the bonfire?

She couldn’t tell if this feeling was excitement or simple comfort. But she felt there was no need to define its meaning.

Right now, she just wanted to enjoy this comfortable and tranquil time.