I Thought It Was a Fairy Tale but the Genre Is Strange

Episode 54 – Hansel and Gretel (8)

*Thud.* *Crack.* Can those sounds really be coming from a human body? With the grotesque sound of bones twisting, the arms that sprouted from Gretel’s back made chilling movements. It was as if each one had its own will, moving in their own individual ways.

A sight straight out of a horror movie. But looking at her appearance, rather than being terrified like Adele trembling beside me, I was actually overcome with rage.

At Gretel’s disgusting attitude of not only taking her evil acts lightly, but also denying the fact that she was heading towards her own self-destructive ending. And at the sight of Hansel, who died having lived his whole life as a plaything, never achieving a happy ending.

The face of Rapunzel, cold in my arms, lingered in my mind.

“Because of me…? That *I* killed Hansel!!! Don’t be ridiculous!! You goddamn trash!!! I’m going to tear you limb from limb while you’re still alive, and then rip open your bellies and pull out your insides and eat them! I’ll make sure you die as slowly as possible, so you can watch your own pathetic consumption!!!!”

Gretel’s scream shook the very foundations of the house. Saliva dripped from the massive mouth in her stomach.

Gretel lumbered towards me. What is this? Is she not using magic unlike before? Her movements are noticeably slower because of her increased size. A question formed in my head.

A familiar sensation made the hair on my whole body stand on end. I can feel it. Is it because I’ve experienced it before? I could instinctively sense something immensely stronger than before trying to crush me. So I let my body follow its instincts.

*Whoosh!*

The twilight scythe sliced through the air. Then, the sensation of cutting through something flashed through the scythe handle.

“W-what!?”

Gretel, who had been in a frenzy, unexpectedly appeared calm. She stopped her hippo-like feet instead of rushing headlong, glaring at me with cautious eyes.

I aimed my scythe at her and said,

“Eat me? Bullshit. A pathetic creature like you deserves a bad ending. You, who forced disgusting love on others your whole life, are nothing but trash, unworthy of being loved.”

“Shut up-! You, who killed Hansel, have the audacity to be so brazen! Hansel was my love! We were in love with each other!”

“Cut the crap. Didn’t you hear him say he wasn’t? He even hated you so much that he slapped you right before he died. The one he loved was the witch you murdered, not you!”

“I AM THAT WITCH!!!!!”

Her massive mouth, along with the mouth on her stomach, opened wide, and just from screaming, the surroundings were drenched in spit.

Gretel, enraged, rolled her eyes back and began to wave the arms on her back while muttering strange incantations. She twisted her neck intermittently, foaming at the mouth and convulsing. Watching her, I felt an ominous chill run through my whole body. I knew, without a doubt, that if I didn’t stop whatever it was, I would lose.

“Do you think I’m stupid enough to just stand here while a mage blatantly casts a spell!”

I lunged at her, aiming to strike her head in one blow. The instant I swung my arm with all my strength…

*Whirr!*

The grotesque arms on her back moved in perfect unison, grabbing my body. My arms, legs, and even neck were caught, and I couldn’t even breathe.

“Kaaack!”

I was careless! Stupidly, I thought those hands were just decoration, a part of the incantation, but they attacked like this. Damn it, how stupid!

Gretel, still showing only the whites of her eyes, was throwing herself around like a possessed shaman, chanting the spell fervently.

Meanwhile, the grip of the hands binding my body was so strong that I felt a pain that could break my bones if this kept going.

Is this how it ends? This anticlimactic? No way in hell. I’m not finished here!

*Crunch!*

The sensation of flesh tearing and the nauseating stench of rotten corpse hit my teeth. I bit down on one of the arms constricting my neck, freeing my throat. Immediately, I bit down on another that was holding my scythe-wielding hand. The skin tore with a *shiiiick* sound, sending a horrifying sensation that made my blood run cold.

*Whoosh!*

With my freed hand, I swung my scythe, severing the rest of the arms. I turned back to Gretel.

“@#%!@##”

Gretel chanted an incomprehensible incantation. Too late. An unidentified red light erupted from her body like an explosion, and I swung my scythe the instant it happened.

Then, everything went black.

＊＊＊

“……!”

What? Someone’s calling me…

“……Wake up!”

Ugh, it’s hard to open my eyes.

“We’re all going to die!!!!”

“Hwak!”

My eyes snapped open. The first sensation I felt in my numb body was heat. A scorching heat that spread evenly throughout my entire being! My body was already drenched in sweat, and the droplets that dripped down hissed and briefly created smoke as they hit the blazing fire below.

And strangely, my vision kept moving. The fire would appear and disappear, and my head was spinning, my stomach churning.

My whole body ached as if it had been beaten, and I was still in a daze.

“Ugh, what the hell is going on…”

“You finally woke up! What do you mean, what’s going on! We got hit by that damn witch’s spell! You weakened the spell somewhat when you swung your scythe at the last moment, but the shockwave sent you flying into the wall, and you passed out! That’s why we’re in this mess!”

It was Adel’s voice behind me. Only then was I able to grasp the situation. We were bound front and back to a giant wooden pole, being roasted over a roaring fire. Thanks to the pole rotating automatically, my entire body was being evenly cooked.

We lost. We’d rushed in cockily, but were defeated by a stupid mistake. Is this really the end? The heat blasting my face was making it hard to even breathe. It felt like being in a sauna. A hellfire sauna, that is.

Was it the heat? My strength was sapping away, and my body felt lethargic. Just breathing was a struggle.

“Hey, don’t space out! If you lose your mind to the heat, it’s over! Say something!”

“Ugh, I got it.”

“Got any ideas? Right now… oh, shit.”

A vast shadow falls over us. In the chaos, I look up and realize it’s still Gretel, in her monstrous form. She grins, her gums stretched wide, and speaks:

“I told you. I’d make you writhe in pain before you die. You had some fancy trinket, but this is where you and I stand. You’ll pay the price for killing my Hansel. First… yes.”

Gretel raises a thick, gorilla-like hand. In it, she holds a massive cleaver, the kind that could hack through anything, any hard part, in one go. The sight of it snaps me out of my daze.

The frozen fear melts, pulling my dread back up. Mad. Is she really going to slice me open with that thing? Shit, shit, shit!

Think. Isn’t there a way out?

“Keeheehee! I can see those eyes of yours searching for a way to live. How cute~ But you know what?”

Suddenly, Gretel is staring at me with a sticky gaze.

“You… you look like Hansel. His soft, yet sharp gaze. That high nose, those luscious, blood-red lips. Hmm~”

“Why, why are you looking at me like that?”

Ugh! Goosebumps all over! To get *this* look from that damned monster! I have to escape! Anything, anything will do! What do I even have with me right now…?

“Looking at you this close, I see it clearly. You’re just like Hansel. Oh, yes! I’ve got a good idea! You’ll become Hansel! Kee hee hee hee! Yes, why didn’t I think of that before!? Dye your hair blonde and put some meat on you and you’ll be a perfect Hansel!”

“Good God, what am I even hearing?!”

Behind me, Adel’s voice is shocked.

“Hah~ Where’s that arrogant little dwarf getting his audacity? Shut your mouth before I chop it off.”

Adel fell silent.

Creak. My body, which had been turning, stopped. Before me is a monster’s face, now half the size of my own body. Gretel swallows audibly and says:

“I will show you some mercy. From now on, you will be my Hansel.”

I stare at her, then smirk. And then I release the wad I had gathered in my mouth.

“Ptooey!”

It spread over her face, the entirety of the saliva I had collected, given the generous area.

“What a load of crap. My Hansel, my ass. You still haven’t come to your senses even after getting dumped by the real Hansel?”

“Kikik, kya-ha-ha-ha! You damned trash! You’re kicking away your last chance!”

Gretel’s smiling face twisted instantly, making her already ugly mug even uglier. Without hesitation, she raised the Chinese cleaver above her head.

“I’ll chop your limbs off!”

“You think I’d be this reckless without any preparation? You moron! You should have taken my ring!”

The ring I had confirmed with my touch earlier. Because Gretel hadn’t taken the ring, I could provoke her like this. I immediately re-materialized the ring into a scythe.

“What!?”

With a blinding flash, a scythe imbued with twilight light appeared.

Thud.

And fell limply to the floor.

Umm, that’s not right? What I had imagined was the scythe’s blade cutting through the rope.

I’m screwed.