I Slept with the Villain Holding My Hand

✿

 

He smiled and lowered his gaze as if he were in trouble.

 

“I want to know everything about Merria.”

 

It was a word from his heart. For Reukis, Merria was lovely, the savior who rescued him from the abyss, and the absolute one and only.

 

I thought that the time away from her would flow slowly and that the time spent together would last forever.

 

I loved Merria enough to give her my life.  I wanted her so much that I was disgusted with myself.

 

Rather than those who share the name of the Rackester, rather than the maid who attended her bath, and to her cousin, whom she had slept with since childhood, I wanted to get closer more than that…

 

When Merria’s happy, sad, angry, and ecstatic.

 

I wanted to know every moment. For example, who do you remember when you often sit at a cafe and stare at a distance?

 

What was the nightmare that woke her up screaming last night?

 

Furthermore, what kind of eyes will she look at me when we spend the night together?

 

If I kiss you a lot, will you scold me or smile shyly? I wished for everything about Merria like that.

 

‘However…’

 

Reukis faced her like a man with a lot to say. Merria didn’t know what the budding feelings were in his eyes.

 

He raised his hand and swept Merria’s cheek.

 

“In the days to come, every moment of getting closer to you will be my joy. But… I hope that there is no such thing as

‘unavoidable’

in the process.”

 

Merria, curious, tilted her head. He continued to talk, as he swept over Merria’s cheeks with his thumb.

 

“It’s up to me to convince Merria to do something for me. If I want to be loved, I will do something that makes you happy, and if I want to see you smiling, I will do my best to give you joy.”

 

Reukis smiled brightly. “So you just need to stay by my side.”

 

Merria also smiled as brightly, that it made him feel like time had stopped.

 

He didn’t say anything out of context. Reukis was steadily answering Merria’s question.

 

In its way…

 

Reukis did not try to cross the boundaries of what Merria was hiding.  Hoping that someday Merria will open her door and let him in, he will just sit and wait beautifully.

 

Although she was grateful for such a Reukis, Merria felt sorry.

 

Thanks to that, I was able to solidify my mind. I felt strongly that now was the time to say those words that I had been putting off the whole time.

 

‘Is this the way you made it to be?’

 

Merria slowly spoke with a complicated expression.

 

“I have something I want to tell you.”

 

Reukis stayed still and waited for her words to continue.

 

She lowered her gaze and whispered softly. “One day, how would you feel if you knew you were going to die?”

 Whoosh~ 

The night breeze took away the warmth in the space. Reukis swallowed dry saliva in the momentarily chilled air.

 

“What…? What does that mean?”

 

“I always have such nightmares from some point on. A dream where I die from being executed.” 

 

Merria frowned. Of course, the nightmare wasn’t just a dream, but I couldn’t explain it to Reukis.

 

I didn’t want Reukis to know his end or the pain of his unfulfilled heart.

 

From the standpoint of Merria, who has lived as a coward for more than a decade, ignorance was the mercy of the absolute.

 

Therefore, it was difficult to convince him with only her limited information.

 

Although Reukis, who’s always very understanding, may not fully trust me this time, he had nothing to say.

 

‘Please, let’s hope that Reukis will sympathize with me.’

 

Merria wrapped her cheeks with her hands and shook her head.

 

“Even that was so vivid. To the point where I cry and wake up every time I have that nightmare.”

 

Reukis listened to her silently.

 

‘Is that why you woke up screaming yesterday?’

 

Last night Merria was startled by the sound of thunder and awoke, but now that he’s hearing this story, Reukis regretted passing it over easily.

 

His eyebrows furrowed.

 

“But just in time, the fortune teller I met on the side of the street matched the nightmares I had and gave me a ring, saying it was a talisman.”

 

She touched the place where she wore the ring Reukis gave her.

 

I thought I was calm, but I couldn’t help being nervous because it was my first time telling this story.

 

“The cafe in the alley that I visit every time…”

 

Merria smiled and continued to talk. The story began with an encounter with the old woman.

 

From the old woman I met by chance, the ring was given like a bomb shelter and power of the ring.

 

Reukis, who had only found out why she always sat there by the window, looked a little startled.

 

Merria held out her left hand to Reukis.

 

“I knew immediately that my power was gone because the ring I had received disappeared. But the very next day you gave this to me.”

 

Merria continued as she blinked gently.

 

“You don’t know what this means to me. How comforting and grateful I was for this ring.”

 

Reukis whispered, kissing the ring on her left hand. “Why have you been dealing with that all this time alone?”

 

“This is what I was going to say on the day I went to the Ministry of Magic.”

 

But because of the sudden return of my father. Merria shook her head.

 

I learned that there was something related between the old woman who gave me the ring that day and the runaway incident of Reukis.

 

And even the undeciphered notebook I obtained after that.

 

An important clue, Shannon, appeared in this case, which had been in the dark all along.

 

If the figure that the old woman said was Shannon, Shannon would be a person who could decipher the notebook.

 

Merria thought that Shannon was the one that resulted in all of this.

 

Because of her, I brought out the things I had been holding on to without telling him.

 

Shannon’s cooperation required stronger power than being a Duke’s daughter.

 

The only person who would be at the party was the Empire’s only Grand Duke Reukis.

 

✿

 

After a long journey that night, Merria returned to the mansion and sat on her bed. Her still-dry hair wetted her back, but she didn’t care.

 

“Lady, if you don’t dry your hair, you’ll catch a cold.”

 

“It’s okay. You’ve worked hard since early today, so stop and get some rest.”

 

Merria waved her hand at Lexie, who was following her with a comb and towel.

 

Laying blankly, I remembered Reukis, who had been brushing my hair softly last night, and a smirk leaked out of my lips.

 

Lexie only left after drying her hair. Merria then headed straight to the desk. It was because of the coming of age night that she had not been able to decipher the notebook for days.

 

As usual, she pulled out the notebook from a drawer hidden under the desk.

 

Turning the pages to be deciphered, and began to trace the letters on a spare piece of paper.

 

I don’t know what the subject is and where is the verb, so I think the letters along would be more appropriate.

 

Today, it took twice as much time because I had to make two sheets for Reukis.

 

When I told him about the power of the ring earlier, I also told him about the existence of the notebook.

 

Knowing what was written inside was the key, so the two decided to decipher it in their way.

 

Merria let out a small sigh, as she carefully transcribed the letters on a piece of paper the size of her palm.

 

“

Sigh..

.”

 

Merria, who quickly got tired, habitually touched her left hand.

 

Looking down at her unusual texture, the ring that Leukis had given her caught her eye.

When I looked down at the different texture than usual, I noticed the ring that Leukis gave me.

 

She stared at the ring for a moment.

 

-‘I’ll be very happy if you think of me while looking at it.’

 

Merria’s lips curled gently.

 

Merria, who straightened her posture again, did not leave the desk until it brightened outside the window.

 

The next day, the quiet Rackester Mansion was lit up. Then I heard people waking up one by one.

 

Merria, who had been sitting there the night before, rubbed her stiff neck. Looking at the clock at the sound of a knocking, it was time for Lexie to come to wake her up.

 

“Come on in.”

 

Lexie, who opened the door and entered, frowned. “Lady, you didn’t sleep again?”

 

“Not really. Maybe I looked tired because I drank a lot yesterday?” Merria lightly shook her head.

 

Lexie, who had seen her closely, quickly noticed Merria’s condition. Lexie deserves to be worried because Merria didn’t say what she was doing every night.

 

Well, I just naturally used the dawn time because I tried to concentrate so that I wouldn’t stand out from others.

 

Lexie was worried about whether or not Merria had suffered from insomnia. So far, she has managed to close her eyes for a while.

 

Today, I was particularly confused and needed something to concentrate on.

 

Merria smiled casually at Lexie and headed to the bathroom.

 

“They say lavender is good for relieving fatigue. Oh, and I’ll give you a massage.” Lexie said, dissolving lavender essential oil in warm water.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Merria gradually woke and got up, Lexie’s chatter as an alarm. Moments later, she went to the dining room where Merria Tumbled, wearing light clothes.

 

Usually, I would have skipped breakfast and overslept, but I couldn’t resist Themis’ proposal to eat with the whole family after a long time.

 

Fortunately, Themis was out that night when Merria was sheltering from the rain in the Grand Duke’s residence.

 

Therefore, that fact seemed to have been covered up by Serinia.

 

It was fortunate because Themis didn’t like Reukis, but it wasn’t a good thing that Serinia found out about it.

 

She always dreams of revenge for Miles. Is there any other prey that’s as perfect as Reukis for Serinia?

 

‘I think I also enjoyed it at that time.’

 

Merria clearly remembered Serinia’s appearance at their first meal with Miles.

 

Obviously, at that time, Serinia felt sorry for Miles, who was trembling, but watching the situational play made up by her family was quite interesting.

 

But now she’s looking for Reukis to avenge her vengeance on him from that time.

 

Obviously, the gentle Miles would have no regrets about that day. In the end, it won’t stop at Serinia’s interest in using Miles as a shield.

 

“Her personality is so…”

 

Merria muttered, forgetting that the reason for the good friendship between the sisters was due to the virtue of similar values.

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