NOVEL NEXT Chapter 242 I Don't Know
Chapter 242 I Don't Know
For a short moment, Kairos and Azami remained silent in the room for quite a while. Other than the sounds of pained heaving that Kairos was doing. Eventually, he decided to bring up a new topic, in an attempt to distract himself.
"Say, doesn't it get boring living forever and all that?"
Azami raised an eyebrow as she put her hands behind her head.
"Huh? What do you mean get boring?"
Kairos paused for a moment, thinking over his response.
"Well... something like having nothing to do."
Azami couldn't help but burst out into laughter, as though he was being completely ridiculous.
"In the first place, it's not like you can realistically run out of things to do. Someone who says that is just a dumbass who doesn't even bother trying anything new. Besides, it's not like I've even lived that long. It's only been like what... ten thousand years now? At least ten thousand years, I think. I haven't been keeping track."
Kairos' eyelid twitched. He couldn't help but feel she was being a bit too happy-go-lucky about the whole situation.
"Are you sure? Perhaps maybe not in ten thousand years, but surely once it reaches the millions or billions it would probably change."
Azami waved her hand dismissively.
"It's not like gods will get to live forever either. Of course, I'm probably going to outlive you and all the other humans on this planet. However... it's just not as simple as that. Why the hell are you ruminating over things like that anyway? It's not like you're going to live long enough to realistically say you truly have nothing to do."
Kairos shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. It was just what came to mind. I mean, it's normal to feel bored now and then, right?"
Unlike what he expected, Azami didn't respond right away. After a few seconds of silence, he slowly opened his eyes and looked over at her, who was staring back rather sternly. He felt a bit freaked out.
"...What?"
Azami let out a long sigh while placing a hand on her forehead.
"I suppose it was inevitable, but you got yourself affected by the visions you saw, didn't you?"
The corner of Kairos' lip twitched.
"...Did I? What did you notice?"
Azami rolled her eyes before leaning back.
"You got all depressed now. Well, you were a bit like that before, but now it's much worse."
Kairos blinked a few times and gave her sentence serious thought. He definitely did experience a lot of those memories, but personally it didn't feel like he had significantly changed because of them.
And while he had those thoughts, Azami interjected.
"You don't feel that way because you experienced all of those memories as though you were there. I'm not sure of the specific details, but it's one thing to hear about someone's sob story and experience it yourself. You've changed because of it."
Kairos furrowed his brows rather intensely. He didn't think that she was lying, and because of that it made her rather worried. After all, most people probably wouldn't like it if their own identity and personality was partially overwritten by others. To him, it almost felt like he was being preyed upon by a parasite.
"...What can I do to stop that?"
At this point, Azami found herself unable to say much.
"Er, to be frank I haven't seen this situation happen all that much, mostly because it's not supposed to happen. If I'm being honest, you should probably view it to be similar to trauma, or something like that. Deal with it by accepting it as a fact that it happened, and move on with your life."
Kairos couldn't help but let out some air through his nose while he smiled a bit.
"You make it sound really easy, but I don't even know where to start."
Azami clicked her tongue.
"Whatever, it's not like you expected an easy answer in the first place. Besides, it was the best clear and concise answer you could've gotten."
Kairos pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.
"I suppose so."
Another short moment passed. Before they were able to break the silence once more, a familiar figure walked back into the room.
It was the wolf.
However, unlike its usual rather enthusiastic and bubbly self, it slowly walked in silently. Its eyes didn't look around nor did it ever open its mouth. Instead, the wolf simply laid down on the ground.
Azami looked at it with concern.
"Doggy..."
Kairos couldn't even tell that the wolf had even returned in the first place until she mentioned it. He got up to take a look, and while nothing seemed to be wrong, he also doubted it was that simple if the dog had been experiencing the same thing he was.
"Is he going to be alright?"
Azami swallowed, not taking her eyes off the wolf.
"The effects shouldn't be as bad as what you experienced... I believe."
Hearing that, Kairos felt somewhat relieved. After putting those thoughts to rest, he began to try and follow Azami's advice. Accepting the visions as what they were and moving on.
He began recalling what they were.
While it technically only happened a little while ago, Kairos had difficulty in remembering all of them. Though that kinda made sense considering the amount of information wasn't exactly something that could be remembered that easily.
He thought about the things that he did remember, and thought about how that false perception might've changed him.
cement them."
While he was doing that, Azami interjected.
"Don't think about those memories. First try to recall your own and cement them."
Kairos looked over for a moment before turning back, trying to follow her advice. But not even a few seconds later, Azami spoke up once more.
"No, not like that. You're glossing over them too much. Instead start from the very beginning and say it all out loud."
He raised an eyebrow while pressing his hand against his temples.
"Er... isn't it basically out loud anyway if it's in my head."
Azami shook her head and crossed her arms.
"It's not about what I'm able to hear, but the mentality you have when looking through your memories. You're naturally going to put less emphasis on them if you only think about it. Saying it out loud forces you to form a coherent thought about it."
In return, Kairos blinked a few times in surprise.
"You know quite a lot about this."
She rolled her eyes.
"I'm a god, remember? Now just do it."
Kairos gave a curt nod before closing his eyes and laying back down on the bed.
"I guess if we are starting from the very beginning, then it would be when I was born. Though I don't really remember anything that happened from then. Um... of the memories that I can recall, there was this one time that scissors almost cut into my skull, but seeing a second in the future made me freak out and bring a book up which it cut into instead."
He let out a long hum.
"Uh, I guess there was this one time that I remember taking a stick and poking a bee's nest. Even when I saw the bees coming out, I didn't really notice the threat until they started to sting me."
Once again he was lost in thought for a while. Though as he opened up his mouth, Azami cut him off.
"Stop. Before you continue on, think about how you felt at that time. If you really can't think of anything, then use those random memories to start."
Kairos really didn't understand what she was getting at, but decided to listen.
"Well, I guess poking a bee's nest made me terrified, that's for sure. And then the time that I almost got done in by a pair of scissors... it was also a bit scary..."
He furrowed his brows after trailing off, as though finding a discrepancy. In the middle of that, Azami waved her hand dismissively.
"Don't think about it too much, just say it."
Kairos blinked a few times. Though she said not to think about it too much, he hesitated quite a bit before opening his mouth.
"Um, for some reason it doesn't feel as bad as the time I poked the bee's nest, even though it probably should've been far more terrifying."
He rubbed his forehead with the base of his palm, using far more force than necessary.
"I... don't really get it, but I feel like I somehow... miss those times."
A trace of curiosity showed on Azami's face, though it only lasted for a moment.
"Try to think of a reason why. If you really can't come up with one, then just move on."
Kairos furrowed his brows so hard it would've been painful for most people, though he didn't even seem to notice.
"I..."
His breathing became a little unsteady. He couldn't even remember the last time he truly lost his composure, yet it happened now.
"I don't know..."