I Reincarnated as a Noble Bastard, So I'm Seducing All the Villainess

I am truly in another world after that. I feel peaceful, satisfied. Instead of returning to the bedroom, I sat down in one of the living room chairs, where I can appreciate the moment in my own way. The window opens with a twisted click, and a thief immediately enters, but I don't care much, because I already know who it is.

Elizia parades into the room with all that grace, swaying her hips with a mesmerizing subtlety. It's practically her signature move, I've seen her cast this charm many times, as if she were using it as a strategy to completely hook the client. It completely worked on me, which is why we're here together here.

"So, did you enjoy your first prostitution experience?" she asks, taking the armchair next to the sofa.

"No. I hated it with all my strength, and I'm never repeating this again. Never offer me a polymorph potion or anything that changes my appearance again."

"Ah, but it's not my fault, it was for the greater good! Look on the bright side, you got the proof, didn't you?"

I toss the magical recordinz stone without much thought, Elizia catches it flying through the air without any problem. She seems satisfied, just like me. I don't know if it's the mutual feeling of screwing over a corrupt politician and playing the hero for once, or what exactly is causing this effect. Either way, I let out a lazy yawn.

All this was so tiring that now I just want to fall asleep and forget the world. I can't believe it even worked, for starters, and I'm also quite impressed that she convinced me to participate in this thing, but I also can't stand idly by watching some son of a bitch doing shit and getting away without punishment.

There's something in me that resonates with a vigilante type, but I still don't believe I'm a hero, protagonist, or anything similar. I'm more of an anti-hero, because in the end, I go this far just to get with a hot chick... I'm not even sure if I can keep that promise I made way back when I reincarnated to save all the villains from Leonhardt's clutches.

I certainly secured Ravenna's life, I still don't know about Moriah, Ophelia is wrecked there on the bed, and now I have to see how I'll deal with the Orc. Honestly, to this day, I don't have a good relationship with those guys, because every time one shows up, we end up beating the crap out of each other anyway.

But I am certain that I will only leave this city after resolving this issue. It would be better to leave and send a notification to the Duke about it, but depending on that old geezer makes me so angry that I feel like using brute force to quickly deal with the issues.

I close my eyes for a second, wanting to readjust the thoughts inside my brain.

When I finally manage to organize my thoughts, still sprawled on the sofa, Elizia slowly crosses her legs, resting her elbow on the armrest and observing me with that shrewd look that always means trouble.

Upstairs, in the bedroom, the Mayor is still completely knocked out, sprawled out like a broken doll after the dick beating, so there's no way to extract any information from that idiot. For Elizia to be here, it can only mean two things: one, she has information to tell me, and two, she was worried about what would happen to me. How romantic.

"Right" I say, rubbing my face. "Now one of the problems has a noose around her neck. What do we do about the orc?"

"Oh, yes, the orc. The madam who supported us in this attack on the Mayor also mentioned that she might know someone who can put us in contact with her, but we'll probably have some problems along the way."

This sucks, why can't things just be straightforward? I know the orc is classified as a villain by the story's standards and is destined to die by Leonhardt's hand, just like most characters who block his path. The order of things is all messed up, but nothing prevents her from being killed by the golden retriever inquisitor, considering the dynamics of things.

The gods of the comment section, who gave me the spoilers about these arcs, mentioned the character is very beautiful and has a cute side. What exactly is that supposed to mean? I have no idea, and that's why I hate that knowledge about the work is practically useless now.

"And where is this orc?"

"At the top of the shantytown" she replies straightforwardly. "It's her headquarters, and no one goes up there without permission. Absolutely no one, unless they want to get an arrow in the forehead or be burned inside a barrel at night."

I sigh and sink further into the sofa. The slum seen from afar is still fresh in my mind, especially since it's similar to the ones I lived in and visited in the past, making the situation more complicated. If I follow the line of thinking even further, the arrow is mercy, and the barrel case is an example they make for the rest of the community.

It's wonderful to know that I need that, going after a villain who might greet me with a beating and, on top of that, torture me.

Elizia, why do you only fuck me in the bad way? I preferred the way our relationship was before.

"So I need another disguise."

"Exactly!" She snaps her fingers, overly excited. "This time I thought of something really simple, we won't even need a potion or a complicated scheme!"

Here comes trouble.

"Dress up as a woman."

What?

A memory runs me over with more force than a truck taking a nerd to an isekai: Leonhardt dragging me through the streets in his arms, Moriah fallen to the ground with her skin all green, and me without dignity in that sweaty cloth making a hairy cleavage, while a letter dangles between my muscles.

I hated every second of that moment and I never forgot it.

"No fucking way."

Elizia raises her hands, laughing, but with that cruel glint of someone who finds my suffering amusing.

"Hey, option two: you take the potion again."

I stare at her. The potion almost permanently extinguished my most precious asset. The memory alone makes me close my legs by reflex.

Shit, she convinced me.

"...I'll dress as a woman" I mutter, defeated. "I won't risk my dick disappearing. Forget it."

The smile she flashes should be prohibited by law, satisfied that she managed to convince me so easily. It's obvious, I'm afraid of losing my dick forever!

"I knew you would choose that."

"Don't celebrate."

"Me? Never" She sticks out her tongue, leaning forward. "I'm just imagining what the best dress for you will be."

I want to throw myself off a cliff. I lean my head against the back of the sofa and let out a groan of pure agony, wishing some spear would fall from the sky and end this suffering.

Why didn't I reincarnate in a normal world...? Was it so hard to put me in Leonhardt's body instead of Darius, who goes through so much humiliation that it's practically draining all reason to live from me?

Elizia claps her hands once, that short, efficient gesture of someone who has just decided something terrible.

"Perfect. You wait here. I'll get the clothes."

She leaves, swaying her hips, light as if she were going to get a snack, not a social death sentence for me. She then returns, dragging a cloth bag that seems to have years of history. Are you keeping a corpse in there?

She opens it, and I immediately wish to lose my sight upon realizing the contents inside.

"Why does this exist?" I ask, shrinking my face as if looking directly at the sun.

"I planned to save it for a special day." She holds up the dress with both hands, all proud. "Some moment when I found someone with your... figure."

"My figure?"

"Yeah. Firm body, defined waist, round butt... Darius, I would make a fortune if I put you to work wearing this."

"I'm going to pass out."

"Not before you put it on" she says, patting my arm. "Hurry up, change. It's the only thing I have for you to wear right now, take advantage so you can start practicing how to wear this type of clothing."

I sigh so deeply that my lung almost folds. I pick up the damn outfit like someone carrying a bomb about to explode and change right there, since I'm already naked anyway. It took a few minutes, many curses, and an existential moment looking at myself in the mirror before finally putting on the wretched thing.

When I finally finish tying the laces correctly, Elizia lets out a whistle.

"Mm-hmm. You're going to cause a pandemonium in those clothes."

"I hate you, Elizia."

"I know. You look adorable when you're this enraged."

She offers me a hooded tunic, which I put over my shoulders before leaving the mansion. I leave behind that destroyed bed, the unconscious Mayor, and everything wrong that I experienced in there. As we cross the garden, I look one last time at that absurd construction. If this goes wrong, I'll die. If it goes right, maybe I'll continue living... living and dying of shame!

At least there's one good thing, Leonhardt is leaving tomorrow.

Just thinking about that, I feel such a profound peace that it almost makes the dress worthwhile.

Elizia adjusts the cape over me, pulling the hood down to completely hide my face.

"Let's go before some guard finds your walk... too provocative to ignore."

"Elizia."

"Yes?"

"If this plan goes wrong, I'm pulling you to hell with me."

She smiles that mischievous way, as if it were a compliment.

"Ah, sweetie... if I went to hell with you, I'm sure we'd arrive already intimidating the devil."

And just like that, we finally leave that cursed place.