Chapter 103: My Face Is In Tatters.
I feel strangely at peace. After taking punches that should have broken my bones, I somehow came back alive and I'm here. The pain continues, obviously, there's nothing that can be done after being beaten so unilaterally.
I open my eyes slowly, the room light attacks my eyes like a Spartan shoving a spear into a Persian soldier's face. My eyes, damn it. The burning is so intense that I feel like turning my head to the side, only to discover I can barely move properly, with such a heavy weight resting on my chest that I'm forced to accept it.
Great. I never asked anyone to take care of me, but apparently, I have no choice but to be bedridden.
The room door opens, a beautiful blonde young lady enters, tapping her boots on the floor, showing a wicked smile and holding a glass of water in her hand. Oh, Elizia, I'm thankful that you are the first person I've had the chance to see today, I'm practically dying of happiness.
"Good morning, princess. How was your beauty sleep?"
As she asks, the glass is placed on a side table, with the beautiful girl sitting in a chair next to me and lightly touching my hair.
"If I may say so..." I open my mouth, there's a slight pain in my throat, "terrible, the worst I've ever had. Can we stop with the disguise ideas where I end up getting beaten more than I should? That plan almost blew up my head."
"But it didn't blow up, you are perfectly fine and you won Ragna's challenge."
She leans closer and kisses my forehead, in a strangely charitable gesture that always gets me hooked. The biggest difference why I prefer Elizia above the others comes down to this: she is affectionate and there's no danger of her killing me on the first instance, even though recently she has proven quite competent to do anything.
"Sweetheart, you slept for two days. By now, we've managed to resolve all the pending problems in the city... Oh, how could I forget, Leonhardt and Philomeu have already left the city."
YEEAAAAAHHH! LET'S FUCKIN' GOOOOOO!
I don't think my face is capable of showing all my happiness in this moment, because I feel like I've finally won one after an overwhelming losing streak. The mere thought of being free from that Golden Retriever and his red pet cat gives me peace.
I let out a long sigh, the kind that only comes after eating a very delicious meal, to the point where all the weight on my body leaves at once and I melt into this bed.
"That was the best news you've ever given me..."
"And also, I'm pregnant."
"Huh?"
"I'm just kidding with you, sweetheart. Of course, I didn't get pregnant by you."
"Then you got pregnant by someone else?!"
My heart drops again amidst Elizia's laughter, who strokes my hair with an expression of amusement. Son of a bitch, you tricked me! Of course, someone like her couldn't get pregnant in the middle of a trip! Ha, she almost scared me to death.
"While you were sleeping, I sent a message to Duke Moonlight, saying that you were fine, but passed out after a heroic fight against the Orc Ragna and exposed the corruption of this city's system."
"Did you tell a lot of lies and inflate my ego to them?"
"Absolutely. You deserve it, sweetheart."
"I know I deserve it, I'm the best! No one would be manlier than me to dress up as a woman and even pass as a twink! Thinking in retrospect, I think you're the one to blame for me having to go through so much humiliation."
"It's not a humiliation to change a little, Darius. Besides, everything worked out in the end... only you got hurt, no one else. Could the result have been better?"
It could have been if I didn't have to feel uncomfortable cracking noises inside me, as if my bones were relocating by themselves. We stay there for a while longer, and Elizia summarizes quite a bit of what happened over the last two days.
According to Orcish customs, the one who loses suffers great humiliation and also the respect of other Orcs, so Ragna, despite being an extremely strong, practically lost a large part of her men who no longer trusted her as a competent leader. Furthermore, with the help of the madam, Ysabelle, and other people in the city of Mastan, they eradicated the protection fee scheme and also removed several city hall officials.
"Did you guys also screw over a certain Mirna?"
"Mirna? Now that you mention it, I feel like I saw that name on a list... I think so."
"Hell yeah! I really wanted her to be screwed!"
Take that, garden gnome! Nobody messes with the handsome Darius Moonlight!
Continuing with the report, the horses are practically ready to leave as soon as we need them, heading straight for the vicinity of Luie, the city where the conflict of the Northern War of Independence begins. It's going to be a short trip, and from there, there will be more problems than ever.
You know, thinking about our adventure through Mastan, I started to have a bad feeling. Too many strange things happened for me to overlook, like the fact that Elizia managed to find someone almost immediately to resolve our current situation.
The part about turning me into a prostitute to get the mayor was creative, but it also seemed like a big coincidence that the same stylist who dressed us had direct access to the Orc Ragna. Thinking like this, I can only question what you are, Elizia.
I still remember what you told me on the airship, about me not truly knowing you. There's something fishy about this whole thing, I smell a mystery and I'm idiot enough to pretend I don't know anything.
I try to move my arms, which seem to have stiffened under the sheet. I forgot that moving around doesn't help much when I'm recovering...
"By the way, is my face still in one piece? I can't see it."
"My sweetheart, you are still as beautiful as ever."
Elizia shows me a hand mirror, and my face looks like it took a brick to the side and left it all dented. I might be exaggerating, but that's the feeling I get when I look at myself in it.
"Isn't there a cleric or a healer or a potion to fix my face?"
"Healing procedures are dangerous to happen while one is sleeping, Darius. If he makes a mistake, how would you know? You'll be asleep."
I forgot that point, which just made my blood run cold. The medicine in this world is still without anesthesia, so all procedures happen while your eyes are wide open. In other words, I'm probably screwed either way.
Well, why bother? Leonhardt is gone, Philomeu is gone, now I just need to get to Victorian's place, free the guy, and run for the mountains as a way to avoid participating in this crazy war.
I guess now I just need to go back to sleep, right? Take a nap, wait for time to pass until someone gives me a hand here, because I'm not in a condition to manage on my own.
"At least I have nothing to worry about, I'll be fine here and..."
As I turned my head forward, toward the bedroom door, a silhouette appeared in the doorway, just outside. It was a large person, bigger than Victorian, and clearly having to bend down to enter the room.
I jump out of bed at once, regaining control of my body because of how hard my heart is currently beating. Why is that wretch here?! I thought I would never see you again, shit!
"Don't even come closer! S-Stay away!"
I'd like to know specifically why Ragna, that hulking brute who almost killed me in our not-so-friendly punching competition, just walked into this room! I shield my body with a pillow, but I know it's useless against the wall of green muscle, because one blow is enough to go straight through my stomach.
The Orc just takes a step forward and I tremble completely. Go fuck yourself, you demon!
"E-Elizia, can you help me here?!"
"Darius, why are you so desperate? She just came for a visit."
"Just a visit?! Do you think I can trust that kind of thing after almost losing my head? She came to kill me, that's what! "
"Hah. Darius, you know that when someone wins a duel using 'Dor'gha nuu sh'tar', it means the other party becomes their doormat, correct?"
What? Is that serious? I lower the pillow slightly. Ragna on the other side of the room appears to have a look of discontent, but she doesn't take another step forward after seeing my posture. Did she finally learn to respect other people's personal space?
"Okay, and what are the chances she just won't strangle me when I turn my back?"
"Oh, sweetheart, that will never happen. Ragna fell in love with Daria Montclair."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Exactly what I said. Ragna was very impressed that Daria Montclair resisted all the punches and remained standing even after everything, so you, as her, will never receive any kind of injury!"
I look back at the Orc, who crosses her arms and slightly shifts her gaze to the side. Is this some kind of sick joke? After beating me up, Ragna, a violent and brutal Orc, fell in love with my female persona?
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