I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! (Completed)

I vividly remembered the events of my welcome party in my past life. The Duke had entered the hall ahead of me, standing idly as if my arrival was an afterthought.

Waiting, he had called it, though it felt more like indifference, as if whether I showed up or not was of no consequence. Combined with his failure to consummate our marriage, it made for excellent fodder for the servants’ gossip.

But now, he suddenly wanted to make a joint entrance? His attitude was a stark contrast to what I remembered.

“You prepared my gown as well? Coordinated with yours?”

“Yes.”

I almost asked, Why? but bit my tongue. It was only natural for him to escort me at my own welcome party. The oddity had been his previous behavior, not this.

I nodded silently.

“…Where are the attendants?”

“They haven’t been selected yet.”

“And the ones Erma prepared?”

“I sent them away. I didn’t like them.”

As I said this, I felt a twinge of apprehension. Would he see me as an insolent child from a family too insignificant to make such demands?

To my surprise, the Duke smiled faintly.

“If that’s what you think, then so be it.”

“…”

He smiled. At my words.

For a brief moment, I wanted to peel back his exterior to uncover the truth.

Was this truly the Duke, or had one of my relatives taken his place in disguise? Perhaps the Duke had already been murdered…

No, that was too grim a thought. I discarded it.

The Duke checked the time.

“I should go. I’ll have the gown sent up tomorrow. Get some rest.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

He nodded slightly and left my room.

I stared at the closed door, still reeling from the interaction. Before I could fully process it, another knock sounded.

For a fleeting moment, I thought the Duke had returned. I hurriedly opened the door, only to find Boen standing there, startled. Of course, it wasn’t him.

“Why did you open the door yourself, Your Grace?”

“If it’s not early morning or late at night, there’s no need to wait for my response. Just come in. Tell Resilly the same.”

Repeating what I had told the Duke earlier, Boen bowed and replied, “Understood.”

I noticed the large bundle he was carrying. My gaze lingered.

“What’s that?”

“Some essential medicines and herbs for the bath.”

“…”

Medicines and herbs… These were things I had to be wary of. That was why I had asked for a fresh, unopened bottle of headache medicine.

In my previous life, poisons were insidious. They were mixed so subtly that they were harmless to others but deadly to me. They couldn’t be detected beforehand, no matter how cautious I was.

Could I trust these? In my last life, Erma hadn’t started tampering with my things right away, but the doubt gnawed at me nonetheless.

Boen, as if reading my hesitation, spoke up.

“The herbs are from the same storeroom as those used for the Duke himself. The medicines are all newly stocked and unopened. Please don’t worry, Your Grace.”

“Oh, I wasn’t… worried about anything.”

Boen shook his head gently.

“I understand wanting to be cautious in an unfamiliar place. Rest assured, Your Grace, we will do everything in our power to serve you faithfully. Please, feel at ease.”

“…”

Boen’s sincerity and thoughtfulness were unmistakable. He was both diligent and kindhearted, and the fact that I had chosen him seemed to have deeply moved him.

I nodded.

“Thank you.”

“You honor me, Your Grace! It’s nothing at all.”

“Your Grace, the bath is ready.”

Resilly emerged, holding a large muslin cloth. She led me to the bathroom, where she helped me undress and wrapped me in the pristine cloth before retrieving the herbs from Boen.

She filled a large muslin bag with the herbs and fastened it around the edges of the massive tub. The bath was deep and spacious—large enough to comfortably fit six or seven people.

The faint scent of herbs wafted through the room as steam rose from the water. For the first time in what felt like ages, I let myself relax.

Several bottles of differently colored oils and two jars of bath salts sat neatly on the edge of the bathtub. Judging by the silky texture of the water, it seemed some salt had already been dissolved.

Opposite where I sat, an intricately carved floral grate allowed water to flow out continuously. Above my head, water poured endlessly from a bucket held by a cherubic statue. The luxurious design ensured a constant flow of fresh water, an indulgent and opulent setup.

I placed a piece of muslin cloth on the dry edge of the tub and slowly lowered myself into the water, starting with my toes. The water was perfectly warm, and the combined scents of herbs, oils, and salt made it feel as though my body was melting, soft and pliant like butter.

The wedding had been utterly exhausting. Since then, I hadn’t had a single moment to rest, spending days on end cramped in a carriage. My fatigue had reached its peak.

Now, immersed in this blissful bathwater, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had drifted off to sleep right then and there.

Occasionally, Resily would step in to add more salt and oils to the tub before silently leaving again. The combination of fragrances in the water was so soothing that I couldn’t help but close my eyes.

I shifted through the water, positioning myself directly beneath the falling stream. The warm water soaking my hair was an exquisite comfort.

With my eyes closed, I let my thoughts drift to the events of the past few days.

Time had turned back. I still didn’t know which family had cast the magic, whether it had been done for their own gain or if it was somehow connected to me. Regardless, it was an extraordinary opportunity. If I failed to seize this chance, I would surely be doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

How could I avoid death? The best option would have been to avoid marrying the Grand Duke altogether, but that had been impossible. Perhaps the first button had already been fastened wrong.

Even if I could go back to the time before the wedding… would I have been able to refuse? Could I have defied the emperor’s command? I recalled the emperor’s eyes, meeting mine through the veil on my wedding day—cruel, tyrannical, and crimson. His gaze made it clear that defiance would not be tolerated.

…Let’s just say the first button had been fastened against my will.

The second matter: the Grand Duke had entered the bridal chamber. At the time, I had been startled, but in hindsight, it was fortunate. I’d heard enough whispered rumors about grooms who didn’t visit their brides on the wedding night.

It would have also signaled his disinterest in me, providing endless fodder for gossipmongers—especially Erma.

The third matter: what the Grand Duke had said in the bridal chamber. He’d promised to grant me a divorce after three months of cohabitation. Initially, I’d been taken aback, but upon reflection, it was logical.

Anyone who married a Lamia would adjust their constitution to suit them. Within three months of daily intimacy, it would become clear if no child was conceived—indicating infertility on one side.

For a Grand Duke in need of an heir, such a discovery would be devastating. Whether he claimed infertility was his issue or mine didn’t matter. Either way, it was sufficient grounds for divorce.

The fourth matter: his suggestion to attend the welcoming banquet together.

At this point, my head hurt. Was this just something he wanted to do? From the moment he entered the bridal chamber, the Grand Duke had been acting strangely. Yet when I had asked him if this was his second marriage, he hadn’t denied it.

“Your Grace, if you stay too long, you may feel faint.”

Resily’s voice called out from beyond the bathroom door. Her words snapped me back to reality. I glanced at the hourglass and saw all the sand had already fallen through.

“I understand,” I replied.

At my words, Resily and Bohem entered, their sleeves rolled up. They scrubbed my body with foamy sponges, washed my hair, rinsed it with herb-infused water, and finished with clear water.

The fragrances lingered throughout. The items in the Grand Duke’s castle were nothing like what I had used back in Ayrden. Though my family—a count’s household—was wealthy despite being politically sidelined, it was clear that royal provisions were in a class of their own.

Resily wrapped my body in muslin, its soft texture absorbing the lingering fragrance and humidity. After changing into a light robe, she dried and combed my hair for a long time, leaving me drowsy.

“Shall I prepare your meal, Your Grace?” she asked.

“No… Something light, like fruit, will do.”

Resily bowed and left the room. Bohem drew the canopy on my bed halfway down, letting the soft glow of the evening sun filter through.

This was my first time experiencing such luxury in this bedroom. When Iserre’s territory had received me, Erma, knowing the Grand Duke’s lack of interest in me from the first night, had not provided me with the best treatment—perhaps to assert dominance.

It hadn’t been neglectful, but it wasn’t luxurious or attentive either.

“What about the headache remedy?” Bohem asked.

“Oh.”

I remembered asking Bohem to fetch it earlier. Whether it was the lingering tension from the Grand Duke’s visit or the soothing effects of the bath, my headache had faded, leaving me clear-headed.

“I’ll take it before bed,” I said.

Bohem nodded and left. Shortly after, Resily returned with a gold tray.

On it were small loaves of bread, olive oil sprinkled with salt, fruit jelly, fresh fruit, and a goblet of diluted wine.

Even without much of an appetite, the lightness of the food was appealing. After finishing a small goblet of jelly, a piece of bread, and a few slices of fruit, I felt satisfied.

Instead of wine, I drank cold water and had the tray removed.

With my stomach comfortably full, drowsiness returned. I staggered to the open side of the bed and sat down. Bohem, ever attentive, brought over the headache remedy and water.

The bath’s effects seemed to be wearing off, as a faint headache began creeping back. If I fell asleep like this, I’d undoubtedly wake up with a severe headache. After taking the medicine, I sat for a moment before lying down.

As Bohem moved to fully draw the canopy, I raised a hand to stop him.

“Leave the lights on.”

I couldn’t sleep in complete darkness. The first night in the imperial palace and the days spent traveling here by carriage had been the same. When my surroundings were engulfed in darkness, it felt as if I were being pulled back to my “previous life,” and the fear was overwhelming.

Bohem lit the small lamps on either side of the bed. “As you wish.”

With the canopy fully drawn, only the faint outlines of the pillows and blankets remained visible.

Finally, I felt at ease and sank my head into the pillow. The soft bed and goose-down-filled blankets embraced me, and sleep overtook me almost instantly.

On my first night in the Grand Duke’s castle, I fell asleep before nightfall.

In the early hours of dawn, it felt as though someone had passed by my side.