I Ran Away To Evil: Book 2 & 3 - A Cozy LitRPG RomCom

Book 2 Chapter 2: It's Better Than Eating Babies



“Could you, Brownie?” The Queen of the Dark Enchanted Forest begged, her huge brown eyes twinkling with evil intent. “Please?”

“Minstrel Bronwynn Lyriel.” The King of the Dark Enchanted Forest interrupted, snaking an arm around his wife’s shoulders and ordering - nay, begging. “Now is not the time.”

“Well,” Brownie began, “It’s actually perfect–”

“Ria, tell your friend you’ve changed your mind.” King Keith leaned down and breathed seductively into the Queen's ear.

"But I really want to hear it!" Henrietta pouted up at him. "Just this once? As a wedding present?"

There was a forced pause as he held off as long as he could… but eventually, the Dark Lord gave in to the whims of his adorable wife. His voice strained against an inner pain that stemmed from embarrassment and uncertainty. "Alright."

Brownie could imagine, since the only other song written about King Keith was anything but flattering. Eating babies wasn't the kind of thing you wanted sung about you at your wedding.

"As you will, Your Viciousnesses."

Henrietta snorted quietly at the address.

Bronwynn’s fingers lightly plucked a melody that she’d spent the better part of a week perfecting. Her new lyre harp, Danielle, had been given to her from a dragon's hoard. King Keith had awarded it to her for her part in escaping slave traders with his wife.

She regretted bashing the kidnapper over the head with Suzette, as it had cost her a life long friend. Brownie missed that lyre harp. Her cousins in Peldeep had gifted Suzette to her for her tenth birthday, and she’d been playing it for thirteen years now.

Still! She had a new instrument. And the fact that it rarely went out of tune and fit perfectly against the palm of her large hands made the sting of losing sweet Suzette slightly more bearable.

Brownie opened her character sheet. She wanted to make this song a Sensation.

Character Sheet

Name: Bronwynn Lyriel

Occupation: Bard

Level: 31

Experience Points: 6360/7750

Hit Points: 221/221

Mana Points: 150/238

Bonded: Belladonna Windrunner

Class: [Minstrel]

Title: Half-Human 0, Rogue 10, Bard 20, Minstrel 30

Attributes: 10+(42)

Strength: 19 (+5 Race Stat)

Dexterity: 18

Constitution: 15

Intelligence: 17

Perception: 17

Charisma: 21

Skills:

Sturdy (2), Knife Play (5), Siren Song (6), Inspiration (2)

Perks:

Reinforce, Hidden Dagger, Liar’sPalace, Piercing Wave, Strength of Sound, Idol, Inspire

She activated her bardic skill [Siren Song] to help with this particular performance, allocating 25 Mana needed to keep it going for the five minutes.

Siren Song effects targets equal to or lesser than level 31. Targets affected 31x6=186. For three times the duration of the song, all targets who hear the song gain a +1 modifier to Intelligence and must fight a Perception 21 to break free of the music.

The music plucked light and whimsical, with a rich cadence that crept through the wedding crowd, drawing attention.

"There are many tales in time that tell

Of battles fought between

heroines of light, and villains evil schemes

And all would know the Dark Lord

in his castle to the North

Had long been making monsters to fill in his Dark Horde.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

The King and Queen used cruelty

To raise their Princess right

A sword in hand, to shield the land

From the encroaching night.

They abandoned her to darkness

When they sent her off alone

To battle beasts and monsters there

Who called the Forest home.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest

She found love among the trees

Where dire wolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea

There's laughter in the beastfolk keep

there's comfort in the selkie song

And the battle that she fought for

Was the Dark Lord's Heart she won.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

She stormed into the castle with some bimbleberry scones

Her blade had never left its sheath against the golem stone

The lizardkin had lunch with her and

Brought her to their Lord

The Inner Sanctum of his power

To a duel magic and sword.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

But lo his Royal Viciousness

Confused at what he found

A Princess who was sent to him

To die or take his throne

Instead he took her in and offered her a brand new start

To live the life she longed for and

To follow her own heart.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest

She found love among the trees

Where direwolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea

There's laughter in the beastfolk keep

there's comfort in the selkie song

And the battle that she fought for

Was the Dark Lord's Heart she won.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

They walked under the full moonlight

Hand in hand under the trees

Where man eating flowers bloomed on corpses of enemies

Assassins could not reach their feet, and the Good must turn their eye

When the Heroine of Justice offers you a slice of pie.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

The Princess locked inside her tower found family and friend

The Dark Lord found a treasure he would hold until the end.

She went to battle life and death and bring her people peace

But now she reigns beside the villain

As the Dark Lord’s Dark Lady.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

But in the Dark Enchanted Forest

She found love among the trees

Where direwolves howl at the moon

And a troll might offer a cup of tea

There's laughter in the beastfolk keep

there's comfort in the selkie song

And the battle that she fought for was The Dark Lord's Heart she won."

There was silence from the crowd when she raised her eyes. Henrietta wiped a tear from her eye and King Keith blushed all the way up to his pointed ear tips.

"Well?" Brownie asked, a touch nervous since it was her first time actually singing that song in front of others.

Hey, she could be fabulous and secretly anxious at the same time. She never knew if this time she might utterly fail at writing an engaging song - and on the day of her best friends' wedding.

Who told Henrietta to go off and marry the Dark Lord anyway?

Henrietta burst into applause, and the crowd followed her. Brownie even caught a nod from King Keith as he composed himself. She read his lips as he mumbled under his breath, "I guess it's better than eating babies…"

Alright. As far as compliments went, Brownie would take it!


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