I Planned a Su*cide Mission and Got Kicked Out of the Party

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“If what you desire is a battle with the dragons, then I will support you.”

Margaret said calmly. Jeongjae squinted his eyes as he looked at Margaret.

“But Grand Mage, first read the last will that this child left behind. If, after reading this, you still decide you must kill the Dragon Lord, I will fight according to your will for as long as you need.”

Jeongjae briefly set Jenis’s corpse down and took the note Margaret handed him. With trembling hands, he held the paper and began to read its contents.

‘I’m sorry. For losing in such a foolish manner. I’m sorry for not being able to keep any of my promises. But I won’t ramble about my story in this note. If possible, I’d prefer to tell you face to face just before I die. I don’t have any solid evidence, but I think the enemy commander might grant me a little time in my last moments. After all, that would benefit him. Of course, I can’t be certain. Still, if I could see you one last time before I die, I could perhaps close my eyes in satisfaction.

Let me get to the important part. My death has made it impossible for any strategy I created to succeed. There’s no point in making further attempts on the west. With me, a half-blood, gone, and the Dragon Lord being uncooperative, the western Demon King’s Territory is now an impenetrable zone. Focus on seizing the north, east, and south to surround the Demon King’s Castle from those directions. It’s a difficult path, but in truth, it’s the most orthodox method that Walter Hellhound was trying to follow.

I messed things up by trying to take an unorthodox route. So, please don’t feel too disheartened; think of it as just returning to square one. This situation is already much better than square one. With just a little reevaluation, we could go back to attacking again before long.

Please convey another paper to His Majesty the Emperor. It contains methods for the Empire to become even stronger due to my death. Though it’s far from the world I wished for, it would be absurd to hope for the world I wanted while I was losing. Under a strong Empire and a powerful Royal Family, humanity will rise even stronger.

However, those things couldn’t happen unless I die. I ponder this: If I’m about to die, or if I have already died, how could it have value? How could I at least find minimal meaning within it?

There are seven dragons being deployed. All for the sake of killing just me. After the last battle in Eramenia, the Demon King cannot pressure the dragons too strongly without justification. There’s some justification now, but to issue an expedition of this scale, proper compensation must be exchanged in the relationship between them.

There is only one compensation. Withdrawal from this war. The Dragon Lord likely gained permission to completely withdraw from the war in exchange for taking my life. If that happens, my death holds significance. With my death, humanity no longer needs to fight against dragons or wyverns. After all, they were never a race that had major conflicts with humans.

Professor, I will die at the hands of the dragons, but the direction of the arrows must not be directed at them. It doesn’t mean they are benevolent. It doesn’t mean they haven’t done anything to harbor resentment towards us either. However, they are much too powerful for the risks involved, and the losses that arise from provoking them would be far too great compared to any potential gain.

Think calmly. The enemy might show at least some goodwill. For example, perhaps they won’t aim for my head while killing me, or they won’t desecrate my corpse, or more seriously, they might give me the opportunity to leave behind a final message. What I mean is, watch the enemy’s movements carefully. If it seems like the enemy wants to give us at least a little room for negotiation, then agree to it. If we can make peace with the dragons, we should do so. There’s no reason to needlessly increase our enemies.

Of course, I won’t be able to make any decisions in my dead state. The decision-makers will be you, Professor, and His Majesty the Emperor… If you fully commit to it, His Majesty will likely accept it. But I believe you are capable of making a wise decision. Truly.

The direction of vengeance isn’t against the dragons. My revenge has ended in incompleteness, but I believe you will complete it. My revenge is directed solely at Violet Moriarty and her comrades, down to the last moment, and even after I die. Please don’t involve any other beings as targets of vengeance. This is another request I leave behind after my death, and it’s a parting message.

Remember. The meaning of my death lies in removing the dragons from the war.

…And Princess, please take good care of this man. Though he seemed too vast for me, in front of you, he will appear small and foolish. Only you can be the one to embrace him. It was always meant to be from the start.

I lost. In every sense.’

“Ah…”

Jeongjae stood there holding the paper with a blank expression. It felt as if it were the last words of a child left behind by a worried mother, afraid her son would cause trouble if he left. For a moment, Jeongjae couldn’t accept the instructions in this letter.

Negotiate with the dragons? With those who just moments ago stained their hands with her blood and fled? How could such a thing be possible? What about retaliation? Are we to just brush it off like it never happened? Are we to simply suggest that considering all the bloodshed, it’s time to put an end to this fighting?

Margaret, seeing the disbelief on Jeongjae’s face, lowered her head.

“I’ll say it again. Regardless of the child’s last words, I will unconditionally obey your wishes. So think carefully and make your decision. I will support whatever choice you make.”

“Ah…”

Jeongjae couldn’t form a single word but kept reading and rereading Jenis’s letters.

She said she believes in him. She said she believes in him.

There was a girl who died believing he would fulfill her wish. In life, she had only longed for a single kiss, yet she died wishing for much more from him.

The white-haired genius commander entrusted him with the Holy Sword, wanting him to achieve what she could not: the Northern Expedition. Walter believed Jeongjae was suitable for that task. The silver-haired genius girl wanted something beyond that from Jeongjae. She wanted him to give up his own vengeance and focus solely on the vengeance Jenis dreamed of. For the sake of defeating the Demon King, she wanted Jeongjae to suppress the anger he held.

Jeongjae screamed in frustration at the absurdity of it all, tears streaming down his face again.

“AAAH!”

The Grand Mage shouted in a voice that shattered.

“If only she had simply asked me to kill the being that killed her, I could have done that thoughtlessly! Why! Why leave such a desire behind!”

“Because she…”

Margaret looked down with a sorrowful expression at Jenis’s now chilling body. She gently stroked the silver hair that still held a shimmering luster.

“She was wise enough to deserve the title of Sage.”

“Yeah, that was wise.”

Jeongjae bit his lip tightly.

“There are too many wise people around me. There were. I can’t compete in wisdom with you, Jenis, Walter, Rose, Bernard, or anyone. Whenever I make a hasty decision, I’m sure to mess it up; you guys navigate things so smoothly and succeed with ease. To be honest, I haven’t had any complaints during this whole time. In fact, I liked that I didn’t have to make decisions. But this… this…”

Jeongjae harshly threw his glasses to the ground.

“What this girl wants me to do is completely different from what I wish to do!”

“Is that so?”

Margaret quietly nodded.

“Yet the desire to make this girl’s death, above all else, meaningful rests within you as well. Just as I hold both desires to kill all the dragons that burned my hometown and to focus on defeating the Demon King while avoiding conflict with them.”

With those words, Jeongjae looked at Margaret as if he had been hit on the head.

Only then did he realize that she, too, had deep grievances with the dragons. Certainly, even on the way to the Magic Tower today, Margaret was relentless in shooting arrows and firearms at the dragons. She had already become a Dragon Slayer even before Jeongjae and had lost her entire army through a scheme involving dragons.

Jeongjae picked up the glasses he had thrown on the ground and put them back on his face. With a resolved expression, he shouted.

“I know you’re quietly listening outside! Show yourself!”

At Jeongjae’s words, Margaret perked her ears and glanced around. The Dragon Lord, who had been hiding without being detected even by the sensitive high elf, slowly floated down from the top of the Magic Tower in the guise of an old man clad in golden robes.

The moment Jeongjae saw the blood covering one of the old man’s hands, he felt the impulse to lose his sanity and attack him again. But Jeongjae didn’t want to let go of the resolve he had formed.

The Grand Mage took off his robe and handed it to Margaret. Though she cast a worried glance at his decision to remove his protective gear, she accepted his clothing into her arms without any significant objection.

Jeongjae slowly approached the Lord of Dragons.

“I have something to confirm. It may seem there’s little reason to check since you’ve answered my call, but…”

“Speak, Grand Mage.”

“Have you been granted the independent right to withdraw from this war due to this mission?”

“Yes. The Magic Emperor can no longer compel the dragons or wyverns to do anything. If he were to disregard that, we would consider him an untrustworthy lord and resist in our own way.”

“Then, using that authority, are you willing to no longer fight us?”

“That is what we desire most.”

The Dragon Lord glanced at Jenis’s corpse. Jeongjae could see a deep wound marking his face, recently inflicted, still dripping blood in a vertical line.

Before making his final decision, Jeongjae took a deep breath.

This is for her sake.

Right now, he was not betraying her revenge; he was assisting it.

“Dragon Lord. If what you say is true, then I, Park Jeongjae, propose a semi-permanent peace treaty between the dragons and the allied forces on behalf of the entire coalition.”