I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Xu Qing had never seen ordinary people not wanting to be exorcised after death. Those solitary ghosts who hadn't committed great evils, which one didn't long for exorcism?

There was no way around it; every time Xu Qing performed an exorcism on a corpse, he had to offer a few comforting words, much like coaxing a child to take medicine.

"Stop fussing! Peacefully cooperate with me for the exorcism! The culprit Yang Mingchun and those two Fox Demons have already been slain by me, so you can leave without worries. As for the injustices you've suffered, one day they will be revealed to the world."

The moment Xu Qing finished speaking, the County Magistrate beneath him stopped struggling, and even the rigid corpse seemed to soften a bit.

After exorcising the six corpses, Xu Qing gained a Benevolence and Virtue Seal, a Sacred Word Ruler, a Bright God Pill, a Linglong Pill, and a literary art called "Literary Heart Dragon Carving".

Though the Benevolence and Virtue Seal was a human-grade item, like the Dou Grain Bowl, it was a growable dharma artifact of merit.

This seal is immensely powerful; it can suppress evil spirits. For regular usage, it only requires incense of merit offerings, which can change size accordingly. The more incense offered, the greater the seal's power; the less, the weaker.

The Dou Grain Bowl can accumulate incense of merit, while the Benevolence and Virtue Seal can consume it; these two growable artifacts complement each other perfectly.

Xu Qing toyed with the Merit Seal for a while, then took out the Sacred Word Ruler.

The Sacred Word Ruler is identical to the Ruler of Discipline in shape, with varied uses—school teachers can use it for reprimanding students, or it can be used in Buddhist rituals like refuge-taking, tonsure, transmission of precepts, and teaching, wherein the Ruler of Discipline serves as a dharma artifact for transmission.

Additionally, the shadow of the Ruler of Discipline is often seen in Taoism, but the Sacred Word Ruler in Xu Qing's hand, filled with words of the sages, clearly differentiates from these.

The Sacred Word Ruler records three thousand sacred words, measuring the truth of the world, and has the role of dispelling illusions and enlightening the ignorant masses.

Xu Qing weighed the Sacred Word Ruler, glancing at the Dharma Protector Xuan Yu beside him.

Upon catching Xu Qing's gaze, Xuan Yu involuntarily took a step back.

Tsk, this ruler is quite nice; henceforth it will be enshrined in the Cat Immortal Hall. Whenever an immortal doesn't behave, just knock their head thrice with it, they'll surely get enlightened!

Storing the ruler, the latter two pills were rather ordinary.

The Bright God Pill clears the mind and dispels confusion, aiding in memory retention.

The Linglong Pill gathers the literary essence, surrounding one's chest, giving them an intricate mind and loophole spirit; it allows one to lose their heart and yet remain alive, provided they don't speak, and it works only for those with literary talent.

Once they speak, the literary essence dissipates, leading to instant death!

Xu Qing pondered the pills, thinking, they fit perfectly with the Heaven-grade forbidden speech curse.

Lastly, the art "Literary Heart Dragon Carving" is quite interesting.

Literature as virtue is immense, the light of virtue, born with heaven and earth, those with virtue and talent can carve the literary dragon on their body as a manifestation of internal light, transforming intangible to tangible, not only intimidating fleals, dispelling evil thoughts but also possessing the wonderful use of controlling demons and banishing enchantments.

However, the precondition requires the spell caster to possess the literary talent.

Xu Qing had no interest in tattooing dragons or tigers on himself, though he had cultivated some talent, he didn't need to rely on that bit of literary essence to protect himself.

The Wu Family brothers could make use of the art, but Xu Qing couldn't gift it to them.

The two brothers are currently officials of the Imperial Court, tattooing dragons on their bodies would be utterly disrespectful!

Xu Qing thought it over and felt that besides giving it to reclusive scholars uninterested in officialdom for practice, there seemed to be no other candidates.

But where in this world would he find so many elegant literati to encounter?

"Ahem, who are you?"

Just as Xu Qing was pondering candidates, the soul of the sole County Magistrate to return to his body slowly awoke.

Seeing this, Xu Qing chuckled internally, isn't this just the perfect candidate!

"You're awake? I'm the most renowned funeral master in Jinmen Prefecture, surnamed Xu. You can call me Mr. Xu."

Mr. Xu? The pale-faced, elderly County Magistrate cupped his hands and said, "I'm surnamed Lu, single-named Xiu, top Scholar of the Renwu year, but due to openly criticizing authority and incurring imperial displeasure, was demoted here as County Magistrate of Ning County..."

Scholar?

Xu Qing clicked his tongue in wonder; he had never seen a true top Scholar before.

What a decent corpse, why did he have to be soft-hearted and give the guy his spirit back?

Associating Xu Qing's ambiguous expression with his feelings, County Magistrate Lu felt a chill everywhere, wondering why this person seemed untrustworthy.

"County Magistrate Lu, I've already learned of Yang Mingchun's collaboration with the Fox Demon in murdering successive County Magistrates. Yang Mingchun and his accomplices have been eradicated by me, there's no need for such rage."

Upon hearing Lu Xiu list Yang Mingchun's crimes and plan to enter the capital with a petition to reveal the truth to the world, Xu Qing shook his head and said, "County Magistrate Lu, there are things you're unaware of; Yang Mingchun is ostensibly appointed by the current Emperor as County Magistrate of Ning County, but in truth, he's secretly appointed as Divine Official by the Emperor, his true duty is to find methods for life extension and immortal elixirs."

Xu Qing briefly explained matters concerning the Ruyi Temple and Cizhao Temple, proceeding to say, "Do you truly believe the Emperor is oblivious to Yang Mingchun's deeds? From Emperor Longping onward, can there be any emperors who live past eighty, let alone those past sixty, yet both Emperor Longping and the current Emperor are quite long-lived, hasn't County Magistrate Lu realized this?"

From righteous indignation and anger, County Magistrate Lu instantly deflated, muttering, "I serve the country and the people wholeheartedly, why does the sovereign treat me thusly..."

Xu Qing didn't have the time to share in this old man's despondency; he asked, "County Magistrate Lu, I've always had a question: why do the other six County Magistrates also protect your corpse after death, leaving hope for your revival? Don't they want to live themselves?"