I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Chapter 219_3



The couple was talking, while Xu Qing rummaged through the goods box on the side, but couldn't find the desired baked cakes and snacks. She pursed her little mouth, feeling somewhat unhappy.

Xu Qing's father didn't pay attention to the child's thoughts and only urged Xu Qing's mother to quickly bring dry clothes for a change.

Xu Qing's mother returned to the room and searched several times, but couldn't find her husband's pants. It then dawned on her that when borrowing cold-weather clothing from the nun, she had mistakenly wrapped her husband's pants in it.

Meanwhile, Xu Qing's father, having removed his wet clothes and pants, was still urging. Xu Qing's mother hesitated, unsure of how to respond.

Seeing this, Xu Qing's father pressed for answers. Before Xu Qing's mother could respond, Xu Qing interjected, "Yesterday, a monk came to stay. Mom kept him company all night and sent him clothes to keep warm early in the morning. Dad's pants must have been worn by that monk!"

Xu Qing's mother's face changed drastically, hastily explaining that it was a nun, not a monk; a woman, not a man.

Hearing this, Xu Qing's father was furious and said, "If it was a nun, why would you lend her my pants? Don't you know the difference between men and women?"

"From my perspective, you must have taken advantage of my absence to clandestinely rendezvous with a lover, doing unspeakable deeds behind my back!"

Xu Qing's mother forcefully defended herself, but Xu Qing's father dragged her into the inner room. Xu Qing stood outside the door, only able to hear the sounds of his father beating and cursing—

"Children don't lie. What more do you have to deny? Today I'll teach you, you shameless woman, a proper lesson!"

The two fought inside. Midway through, Xu Qing's mother, bruised and swollen, fled, covering her face. Xu Qing, witnessing this, felt he had misspoken, yet dared not enter to explain to his heated father.

Outside, Xu Qing's mother went door-to-door seeking help from the neighbors, but they all refused, citing the cold and late time of night.

Xu Qing's mother, having no choice, settled for having the neighbors bear witness.

Xu Qing followed his father out of the house, and saw men, women, and children standing at the door. Xu Qing's mother pointed at a ruffian and said, "Liu Lazy, you tell them, weren't you the one following the nun yesterday? I saw you at the door, you must speak the truth."

Look at how she's speaking. Regardless of the facts, do you think pointing at a ruffian can get him to speak well of you?

If he doesn't harm you, you're already lucky!

Sure enough, upon hearing this, Liu Lazy flared up immediately.

It was true he followed the nun yesterday but hadn't succeeded in anything before being interrupted by Xu Qing's mother. And now she accused him and wanted him to speak for her?

In your dreams!

Instantly, Liu Lazy shouted, "If you're hooking up with men, own up to it! Why throw dirt on me? I might fancy someone, but never a monk! What do you take me for—a rabbit or something else?"

With just those words, he turned black into white. Xu Qing's mother, hearing them, couldn't catch her breath and fainted on the spot.

Back at home, Xu Qing's father cursed nonstop, claiming the family's reputation was tarnished. It was then that Xu Qing finally understood and approached, saying, "Dad, Mom didn't do anything bad. The monk was a woman."

The monk was a woman. Upon hearing this, Xu Qing's father sneered, feeling aggrieved, and started ranting nonsense again.

That night, Xu Qing's father lay down early to rest, while Xu Qing's mother knelt before the Buddha statue, muttering to herself.

Finally, Xu Qing's mother went into the inner room to look at her child. When Xu Qing came over, she opened her cracked lips and sorrowfully said, "Silly child, don't you know? Only bald men are called monks; bald women are nuns!"

Xu Qing didn't respond—did he really not know the difference between a monk and a nun? Nobody knew for sure.

Early the next morning, when Xu Qing's father and son got up and exited the room, they saw Xu Qing's mother had hung herself from a beam in front of the Buddha statue.

Xu Qing wept bitterly, while Xu Qing's father lashed out with blame and insults once more.

However, as they were preparing for her funeral and burial, a nun and an old nun came to visit.

Xu Qing's father recognized the old nun—wasn't she the one who opened the door for him that day when the snow blocked the road and he went to the monastery for lodging?

As for the young nun beside her, she was holding a basket of pastries and a stack of clothes, among which were his missing pants!

Imagine the frustration! Xu Qing's father was full of regrets. On the day of the funeral, the nuns chanted sutras at the graveside, and Xu Qing's father beat his son severely at Xu Qing's mother's grave, claiming that if not for the son's idle words, things wouldn't have escalated this far.

Later, when a Daoist from the Celestial Master's Mansion was traveling around and happened to pass by the Li family, he noticed Xu Qing's extraordinary talent when reflecting him in a mirror, and persuaded Xu Qing's father to let his son follow him back to the mountain to become a monk.

With a grudge against Xu Qing, his father readily agreed.

From then on, Xu Qing, who had two shadows, arrived at the Celestial Master's Mansion and became the current Sutra Mage.

Xu Qing clicked his tongue in amazement. He wondered if the Celestial Master's Mansion had some inevitable initiation ritual, for why was it that each daoist he had performed rites for was missing parents?

As for the Sutra of Salvation rewards, they included an initial explanation of a low-grade Earth-level array and an Earth-level superior Dharma Seal for commanding spirits.

The so-called Dharma Seal, as the name suggests, is a seal capable of commanding spirits, summoning gods, and dispatching soldiers.

However, this Dharma Seal can only bind one ghost for the owner's use. Xu Qing toyed with it for a while, found little interest, but thought his neighbor might like it very much.


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