I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Scholars of the Xuwu year, shopkeepers of the Funeral Shop, the most conscientious entrepreneur on Underground Street, Grand Sect Leader of the Cat Immortal Hall, the Rescuer and Safe Birth Sovereign, and known as Lady Baosheng among the people, Xu Qing, was standing on Wujue Slope reciting the Sutra of Transmigration to redeem the souls of the deceased.

Seasonal paper flowers and all sorts of funeral offerings, after reciting the Sutra of Transmigration, Xu Qing began to deliver the eulogy.

The constable before him died for justice on earth, different from those mediocre people. After death, a eulogy is needed to show remembrance and commemoration.

Xu Qing, after all, was a scholar. Although not capable of writing grand articles, writing a simple eulogy for a constable with integrity was a piece of cake.

"I've often heard that men of loyalty and righteousness all possess an air of justice and face death without fear... Today, we remember Constable Li of Linjiang County, who was inherently loyal and straightforward. Though without great rewards, he still bravely stood up and courageously fulfilled his duty..."

Though Constable Li was born poor, his heroic spirit still resonates with people's hearts. His deeds should be inscribed in stone to enlighten the later generations.

Xu Qing took a knife and carved on the side of the stele: 'A single iron ruler subdues the night's small, a whole heart's hot blood fulfills duty.'

On the right side, there is an inscribed elegiac couplet. The upper line says: 'In life, brave, pacifying one area in times of danger.'

The lower line says: 'In death, virtuous, a thousand-year model set in the homeland.'

"Shopkeeper Xu is thoughtful."

Zhao Zhonghe and a group of government officials couldn't help being moved by the scene. For people like them who were constables, no matter how well they did, they were always considered lowly workers, part of the marginalized class.

Even if they died, they would be no different from a weed plucked by the roadside, no one would care.

But to die so gloriously, so grandly, so respected, even in death, there would be contentment!

On Wujue Slope, the autumn wind was bleak.

Only the human feeling remained, undiminished.

...

That night, in the Funeral Shop.

Zhao Zhonghe, who had just escorted Yuan Hu back to the case, finally had a moment to come over.

"Shopkeeper Xu, I'm very satisfied with the arrangements you made for my brother's funeral today. This is the funeral gift money, not much, just a token of appreciation from the brothers."

Xu Qing weighed the silver ingots wrapped in red cloth, which amounted to ten taels.

You should know that 'food wages' for a constable in the Government Office were only five or six taels a month, so these ten taels were equivalent to two months' salary for Zhao Zhonghe.

"A simple coffin costs only a thousand copper coins, why should Chief Zhao spend so much?"

Zhao Zhonghe laughed and said, "I live a life of licking blood off the blade, perhaps one day I will have to trouble Shopkeeper Xu. If there's any money left, treat it as a deposit. If one day a brother accidentally falls, please handle the funeral affairs; Zhao will be eternally grateful!"

Speaking, Zhao Zhonghe took out another red envelope.

Xu Qing frowned and said, "What's this for?"

Zhao Zhonghe leaned against the counter, looking at the silly Pillar sitting in a daze at the shop door, and said, "Without his brother's care, it will be difficult for Silly Pillar to survive in the future. Brother Xu is kind-hearted and took the child in, while I, the constable, dare not bring the child home."

Zhao Zhonghe was also helpless; his wife had just given birth last year, and the little one was less than a year old. His wife was already overwhelmed with taking care of the child. If he brought home Silly Pillar, an unenlightened child, the family would not have peace...

Xu Qing didn't ask for Silly Pillar's maintenance fee, but he did accept his brother's compensation.

"Brother Xu is good in every way, just a bit too particular. It's just some yellow and white things, why argue over them?"

Zhao Zhonghe grinned and said, "I'll be honest with Brother Xu, I'm naturally lucky and often find silver on the street. A couple of years ago, I even found a well-crafted stick, which is the most valuable item I've ever found. It's a pity it's been stolen by some thief..."

Xu Qing paid no mind to Zhao Zhonghe. So much time had passed, yet he was still thinking about that stick.

"Save this compensation for Silly Pillar. If Chief Constable really feels uneasy, just introduce a few more clients to me in the future to support my shop."

Xu Qing smilingly refused Zhao Zhonghe's goodwill.

The latter cursed and laughed, not declining: "The Government Office handles many deceased cases. If there is any family that needs rituals, I'll keep Shopkeeper Xu in mind."

Upon hearing this, Xu Qing was delighted; this constable was on the ball!

As he escorted Zhao Zhonghe out of the shop, Xu Qing enthusiastically waved his hand: "Chief Constable, do visit often!"

Zhao Zhonghe grumbled a few words.

Though Xu Qing's shop offered excellent services, who would frequently visit a funeral shop just because of good service?

As Zhao Zhonghe left the shop and was about to depart, Silly Pillar, who had been sitting dazedly at the doorstep, suddenly spoke up: "Chief Constable, do visit often."

"..."

Zhao Zhonghe nearly got irritated to tears; this silly kid was quick to learn the bad things!

Inside the shop, Xu Qing's eyes sparkled.

Silly Pillar's medicine seemed to begin showing effects, otherwise, he wouldn't have mimicked Xu Qing in greeting Zhao Zhonghe.

It's just that because Xu Qing's words were not something proper people would say, it made Silly Pillar seem like he couldn't speak properly too.

But what if what he said just now were proper words?

Xu Qing called Silly Pillar into the shop. By now, Silly Pillar had changed into new clothes, and even his messy hair had been neatly trimmed by Xu Qing.

"Silly Pillar, I'll find you a good master. You must study hard under him. Only then can your brother rest in peace."

In Xu Qing's eyes, although Silly Pillar's illness was cured, his mental age remained that of a five- or six-year-old.

The teacher Xu Qing found for Silly Pillar was no ordinary person; it was the Feng Shui master of the Cat Immortal Hall, Gu Zixu the Immortal.