I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality

Fortunately, just as everyone was at a loss, Zhao Zhonghe spoke up: "This is truly unfortunate, we've come here for Brother Li's funeral, yet his father accidentally fell to his death..."

Zhao Zhonghe stood up, looked at the still-dazed Tie Zhu, and pondered, "The dead cannot be brought back to life. Given the current heat, we should bury the old man as soon as possible."

Chief Zhao didn't mention that the old man was kicked to death by a horse. After all, the horse belonged to Xu Qing, and if you really look into it, Xu Qing, as the owner, should bear some responsibility.

Moreover, today's funeral arrangements were made by the Government Office, and Shopkeeper Xu only brought the hearse here upon their invitation. So truly, the Government Office also has some responsibility.

At any other time, Zhao Zhonghe wouldn't have hidden such details, but today this old gambler has truly angered everyone. Where in the world is there a father who, after his son's death, would pawn the son's coffin for gambling money?

Xu Qing patted the horse, calming its agitated mood, and said, "No need, Chief Zhao, you don't need to go to any expense. My shop has a buy one get one free policy. Since the son has already paid, I won't charge for the old man's coffin."

After saying that, Xu Qing added, "Didn't the old man say there were straw mats at home? Just wrap the body with it and bury it together."

"As for the family... let Silly Zhu hold the mourning staff."

"..." Zhao Zhonghe looked at Silly Zhu, who was smiling foolishly, wondering if this would work?

But given how things have come to this point, even if it doesn't work, it has to work!

The old gambler's house had barely anything. Two constables walked in, and without needing to search, found a roll of tattered straw mat with broken seams on the earthen bed.

Fortunately, the mat was in poor condition, otherwise it might have already been pawned.

Xu Qing peered into Silly Zhu's home for a quick glance and found it quite bare. Zhao Zhonghe commented, "That old man is really a piece of work. I stood as guarantor to help the Li brothers rent this property; otherwise, Silly Zhu wouldn't even have a place to stay now."

A constable asked, "What about the original house?"

"Sold! Can you expect a gambler to keep the family estate intact?"

While collecting the gambler's body, Xu Qing listened to Zhao Zhonghe and the others talk.

He had learned about the Li family's situation back when he was praying for the deceased Li Government Official.

At that time, as a reward for the Sutra of Salvation, a Wisdom Pill was given. Now, seeing Silly Zhu's state, Xu Qing suddenly came to a realization.

Everyone has their obsessions. Perhaps the lifelong obsession of the Li Government Official was his brother, Silly Zhu.

"Silly Zhu, come help carry your father."

"Okay!"

Silly Zhu, with coal-stained teeth grinning, joyfully ran over to help Xu Qing carry his own father onto the carriage.

"Where's my dad going?" Silly Zhu asked.

"Your dad's time has come, the heavens have taken him," Xu Qing replied.

"Oh." Silly Zhu didn't seem to understand.

Beside them, a nosy Government Official suddenly blurted, "Shopkeeper Xu meant your dad is gone, you silly kid."

"What nonsense are you spouting, zip it!" Zhao Zhonghe glared at the Government Official with irritation.

Silly Zhu continued to grin foolishly.

Once the carriage and horses were ready, the constables scattered paper money along the way as they headed out of town.

As they passed through the bustling market entrance, many people cast strange glances.

The reason being, there was a silly, smiling mourner in the funeral procession.

At any other funeral, wouldn't the sons holding the rods and mourning be full of sorrow? Encountering one who seemed rather happy naturally drew curiosity!

When they passed a breakfast stall, Zhao Zhonghe bought a few bowls of noodles for everyone.

Xu Qing followed tradition by first lighting an incense stick in front of the hearse before presenting a bowl of noodles, letting the deceased "eat" first.

As for why just an incense stick and a bowl of noodles... did the gambler really deserve to have Xu Qing feed him?

Silly Zhu, who hadn't had a proper meal in two days during the funeral, eagerly grabbed the noodles without using chopsticks, squatting on the ground and stuffing the noodles into his mouth with his hands.

Zhao Zhonghe had just picked up a bite of noodles with his chopsticks, about to take a bite, when he saw Silly Zhu gobbling down his food.

He set down his chopsticks, stared at Silly Zhu, and his knitted brows never relaxed.

After Silly Zhu finished his bowl of noodles, Zhao Zhonghe beckoned him over, saying, "Silly Zhu, don't squat on the ground, come sit and eat."

Silly Zhu hesitated, "Dad won't let me sit at the table."

"..."

Seeing this, Xu Qing gestured to Zhao Zhonghe to eat in peace.

He then brought over two bowls of noodles, squatted with Silly Zhu on the ground, and began to eat.

"Got it!"

Zhao Zhonghe couldn't help but laugh. He simply grabbed his bowl and squatted by the street to eat.

Seeing this, the other constables glanced at each other, silently left their seats, and lined up with the chief, slurping their noodles.

After breakfast, Zhao Zhonghe saw Silly Zhu stuffing a bowl of noodles into his arms and couldn't resist asking, "Silly Zhu, there's more noodles after you're done. If you're worried about getting hungry on the way, I'll buy you some fried cakes..."

Silly Zhu sniffled and said, "I'm not hungry. I'm saving these noodles for my brother to eat when he comes home."

This silly kid...

Xu Qing helplessly said, "Your brother already ate earlier. You don't have to save the noodles for him."

"Where's my brother? How come I didn't see him..."

"He just ate his fill and is now asleep in the wooden box."

When Silly Zhu heard this, he happily pulled out the bowl of noodles and started slurping again, clearly not having eaten his fill earlier.

After finishing the noodles, Zhao Zhonghe paid for all the noodle bowls.

They had no choice; since they were out delivering funeral services, they carried some bad luck. Other people would inevitably feel uneasy about using the bowls and chopsticks they had used.

The group left the city but didn't go directly to the burial site. Xu Qing said they needed to visit Ziyun Mountain first.

After all, Government Official Li met his unfortunate death near Ziyun Mountain, so they had to conduct a spirit-summoning ritual for him there before he could be buried at Wujue Slope.

Zhao Zhonghe saw no reason to doubt this, mentioning that he also needed to visit Qu Shui Village to investigate the Liu Family case.

And that Qu Shui Village was right by Ziyun Mountain. Wasn't this a coincidence?

"There's a temple on Ziyun Mountain funded by the county's esteemed official. Brother Xu is not young anymore, so it's a good opportunity to pray for a marriage and aim to find a wife and have some big, healthy sons."

Pray to myself? Xu Qing was amused and said, "I heard that temple is a temple dedicated to Lady Baosheng. How could she be in charge of marriage?"

"Why not?" Zhao Zhonghe argued logically, "Let me ask you, is having children a matter of one person or two?"

Seeing Xu Qing remain silent, Zhao Zhonghe continued, "Even us martial artists know the principle that solitary yin cannot produce, and solitary yang cannot grow. Naturally, having children is a matter of yin and yang, of two people."

"If Brother Xu goes to pray for a child, won't Lady Baosheng have to first find you a wife? Otherwise, how could you have children?"

What nonsense! If someone comes to pray for a child, do I have to play matchmaker first?

Xu Qing had never thought that in addition to managing a temple, he'd also have to casually work as a matchmaker!

Lighting one incense stick to fulfill two wishes—someone was treating his temple like a wishing well.

The group reached Ziyun Mountain, where Zhao Zhonghe and a few constables headed for Qu Shui Village, leaving Xu Qing and Silly Zhu to handle summoning the spirit of Government Official Li in the nearby village.

While they were officially there to summon the spirit, there was another agenda at play.

As soon as the constables left, a large man in yellow strode in from the village entrance.

"Sect Leader." Guan Dazhuang, with arms as thick as a horse, had a donkey rope wrapped around them, looking strong and powerful.

Xu Qing asked, "Have you located Yuan Hu?"

"He's right in Qu Shui Village!"

"Qu Shui Village?" Xu Qing's interest was piqued, and he further inquired, "Do you have confidence in capturing him alive?"

"I'm fully confident!" Guan Dazhuang smiled and said, "There is a world of difference between someone who has entered the Xuan Sect and someone who hasn't. Although Yuan Hu has 'tiger' in his name, he's merely a martial artist who hasn't entered the sect. I now have Daoist training of over a hundred years, with all the plants and trees on my side, not to mention the crows of Chaotic Stone Mountain. Should he dare to reveal himself, capturing him will be inevitable."

"This time, you need not be so cautious." Xu Qing pondered for a moment and said, "The Ziyun Mountain area is my domain, and it is officially sanctioned, so you can act with full confidence. Go into the village and drag Yuan Hu out."

"Once you've caught him, you don't need to flee immediately. Just lead the constables to throw Yuan Hu into the Lady Baosheng Temple, and the matter will be settled."

Guan Dazhuang wasn't sure of Xu Qing's plan, but he trusted that following the Sect Leader's instructions wouldn't go wrong.

"I'll do it right away!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the man in yellow turned into a gust of yellow wind, disappearing amidst the swirling dust and stones.

Xu Qing returned to the hearse, where Silly Zhu, startled by the strong wind, was clinging to the back of the carriage, afraid he might be blown away.

"Silly Zhu, the wind's stopped. You can open your eyes now."

Silly Zhu opened his eyes, looked around, and indeed, as Xu Qing said, everything was calm and peaceful, as if the wind had never blown.

"Silly Zhu, hold out your hand. Sir will give you a candy bean."

Upon hearing this, Silly Zhu instinctively looked over, seeing Xu Qing offering him a snow-white, translucent elixir pill.